Tag: Terminal illness

WHO IS YOUR HERO? WHAT IS A HERO?

I was watching an interview with Sammy Hagar, I’ll share the link at the end of this blog, and these two questions came to mind when it was over. Think what you will of his music. ( I am personally a fan) or which version of Van Halen you like better (I am a fan of both) but after listening to this interview you can’t help but love the guy. Small bits of information I picked up are how he donates to food banks in every town he plays in and often goes down in person to help. Why? As he says, “There is much more to charity than just writing a check.” Not to mention he set up an entire business (Sammy Hagar’s Beach Bar and Grill) where the entire profits go to help children with terminal illnesses and their family. That, to me, is a stand up guy.

As I drove home I thought about the word ‘Hero’. Lately, a lot of attention has been given to that word. For once I am happy to say I think we have our head on straight as to how we are thinking about it. Perhaps because a lot of the folks we usually give those titles to, such as professional sports players and reality show actors are out of the picture and deemed ‘Not essential’ that we are able to focus on those who really make a difference. A lot of those in the medical profession, lower paid employees who show up daily just to make our lives easier, and anyone who puts themselves in danger so that our lives may be easier. Are these people your heroes? What makes them a hero? These are the questions that popped in my head as I drove home.

I thought about those whom I consider a hero. A name that comes to mind is Fred Rogers. Host of the television show Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. I admire him for his deep-rooted care and concern for youth. How he worked so hard to use the medium of television for something good. His ability to find the positive in even the darkest situation. One of my favorite things about both the man and the show was the importance he placed on what I refer to human fundamentals. I am pretty sure that is a term I just created, so allow me to expand on it. Human fundamentals are basic skills we all should learn to be a good…you guessed it, human! Many think of Fred Rogers as someone who just spoke to children, but I think his messages resonate just as much, if not more, with adults today. How many of us know someone who might benefit from the episode “What to do when you are mad”? There are many adults who are afraid to talk about their feelings and even if they could wouldn’t know the first thing about how to do it. He used to end each show by saying “You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the world like you, and I like you just the way you are.” How many people, ourselves included, could stand to hear that message?

Another name that comes to mind when I think of heroes is Mother Teresa. She was an Albanian-Indian Roman Catholic nun and missionary. I always admire those who dedicate their lives to a spiritual pursuit even if I do not necessarily agree 100% with the dogma that comes with such things. What makes Mother Teresa special in my eyes is her social work that was done with a spiritual motivation. In 1950 she founded the Missionaries of Charity. It was a group of nuns that were active in over 133 countries as of 2012. They did far more than just preach and share their religious beliefs. They managed homes for those unfortunate souls dying of diseases such as HIV/AIDS, leprosy, tuberculosis and many others. They also ran schools, medical clinics, soup kitchens and a host of other useful services. What really impresses me about her is that she encouraged and let everyone know we are all capable of doing great things. We do them by doing even the small things with great love.

These people did not do any of what they did for fame and fortune. Although they did realize that the fame allowed them to do even more good. I am just a humble author and blog writer, but I do must best to use my gift with words to help as many people as I can and to make the world a better place the best I can. Those mentioned above, along with a host of others, inspire to do so. To me, what makes a hero is genuine integrity. Fred Rogers was the same person off camera as he was on camera. His concern for youth and for the world in general was genuine. Mother Teresa dedicated her life to helping the souls that many looked down upon. Sammy Hagar used his fame and fortune to help those less fortunate. I am sure all of these people have flaws, as we all do, but to me they are heroes for their integrity. Their desire to do the right thing. More importantly, wanting to it not for fame or fortune, but simply because it is the right thing to do. To me that is a hero and all of you out there doing what is right, simply because it is right, you are a hero in my book.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE SAMMY HAGAR INTERVIEW THAT INSPIRED THIS BLOG

A FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTION…

This is by far the question I am asked the most often in regards to both this blog and my upcoming book. “How can I remain happy when my loved one passed away/I was diagnosed with a serious illness/I was just fired” you name it. In fact, the day after I started this blog a woman who had all of those and them some asked me that very question. Now, at the time I was a bit overwhelmed by the screaming in her tone to answer. Even though her delivery was debatable, her question is a very valid one. Judging by how many times I am asked that question in one form or another first let me assure you that you are not alone. Everyone in life faces struggles. When it comes to death of a loved one, or serious and terminal illness, often a very serious struggle. So what them Mr. Smiley? What do we do then? In short – you cry. What kind of advice is that coming from a blog like this? An honest one. Let me start by again stating the goal of this blog, and of life in general is not to be happy one hundred percent of the time. Not only is this unrealistic, it also sets us up for feelings of failure. The idea behind self improvements is to make the good parts of life more intense and frequent and the trying times less frequent and less intense.

Look sometimes life gives us a little more than we can handle. Whether it be at work when you feel so overwhelmed being unemployed and homeless seems like a less stressful plan, or something more serious happens to bring us down, you have a right to feel sad. Pain is one of the most powerful tools of change and growth IF it is looked at in just such a light. A perfect example of this was given to me by a friend I know from the bar I work at, Tina. Recently she had a family member pass away. this is never an enjoyable experience for anyone. Listening to Tina’s story about the event I was struck by just what an empowered and inspirational view this woman took. Yes, she cried. When we lose someone we care about it is expected we should feel sad. Yet, she remarked how amazing it was to learn not only about the woman who has passed on, but about the rest of her family as well. She heard exciting stories from the past and learned things about her family she had not known. She told me there was as much celebration of life, if not more, than morning of loss. It gave her pride in not only the way she dealt with her grief, but the way her family did as well. I really got the feeling listening to her that is drew her family closer as well. it also inspired her to take a long hard look at her own spiritual beliefs. Again, sometimes pain is the best catalyst to growth. If given the choice I am sure Tina would have chosen not to go through that event. She understood all to well the realities of life. Sadness and grief should be given their respect and time. They can cause us to look inside, to grow and to reflect. If you have taken the steps to add joy to your life, when darkness does come, you will be better prepared to focus on and find the light at the end.