Tag: Technology

I DON’T NEED SELF HELP!

I really dislike the term self-help. To me it always sounded as if something was wrong with the person. Then again, the word ‘help’ has a bad reputation. Especially for men help seems to be associated with being weak. Personally I do not see it that way. One thing admitting you could use a little help in a certain area shows you trust the people you are sharing that information with. It also shows a true desire to better one’s self. Both of those I find to be admirable qualities.

Another aspect of working to improve yourself is that you are growing. Without growth we are left with a feeling of discontent. One of the best ways to be happy with yourself is to progress in respect to any goal you are working on. In short – progress equals happiness.

If there is a certain area you are not particularly strong in that does not mean you are weak as a person. On the contrary, recognizing the fact that there is an area you could improve on and working to do just that takes a great amount of courage. Looking for self-help, or as I prefer to say self-improvement does not mean you are bad at something it just means you are trying to get better.

As we are working at these goals it is also important to remember our strengths. Everybody is good at some things and not at others. My lady can create amazing cakes, I cannot. I have a better grasp of history than she. Does that make either one of us less than the other? Not at all. Last post I quoted the great scientist Albert Einstein. I am going to do so here again. “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” This quote may sound silly, but it is as true with humans as it is in fish.

As we continue in the season of spring which is often associated with rebirth and renewal, allow yourself to be reborn. Grow your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses. Ask for help when you need and don’t feel ashamed. Here is one more thing to keep in mind as you do ask for help. How do you feel when you are able to help someone? If you are a person who reads a blog like this, I imagine you feel quite good. When you don’t ask for help from someone who cares about you think of the good feeling you are depriving them of.

Feel free to share the ways you are working to improve yourself in the comments below. I wish you the greatest fortune in all your endeavors.

THE POWER OF ENERGY

I’ve been asked various forms of the following question several times over the years, “How can I go around being happy when there are so many things in the world to be unhappy about?”.  People ask me this about the economy, famine, war, genocide, and all of the other fine issues the evening news likes to highlight.  It makes sense, how can we be happy when there are people starving on the other side of town?  How can we walk around feeling great when we read about all of the jobs that are being lost?  The answer really is in the question itself.  When we are focused on the problems of the world and see fit to discuss them at length we are only adding our energy to them.  It would be far better to send our sick friend in the hospital loving and healing thoughts while picturing them as whole and in perfect health.  Then it would be to feel bad for them and say “isn’t it terrible how ill they are”.  It is almost a force of habit to be involved in “isn’t it awful” type conversations.  Quite often we start them up as a lack of anything else to talk about.  “Isn’t that price of gas terrible?”  “I sure hope the economy turns around quickly”.  I must confess I find myself being involved in and sometimes starting such conversations.  By doing so I am not only adding my focus and energy and focus to the very thing I am lamenting, but I am also dragging the other persons focus and energy into the same direction!  How different would the world be if we placed our focus and energy on what we have to be grateful for and solutions rather than what we lack and the problems we have?  Next time you find yourself engaged in a negatively oriented conversation begin to think of how you can turn that conversation around.  Think of it as a game.  Make it a fun challenge.  Even if you fall short you at least have your energy and focus on turning a negative into a positive.

A PART OF THE SOLUTION…

Working with the public both at the Post Office and at the bar I find myself mixed up in many different conversations.  Most very intriguing and interesting, but some rather negative and not so pleasing.  How many times have you found yourself telling someone about the job you applied for only to hear a 30 minute lesson on how bad the economy is? Now the reality of the financial state of things is interesting.  Whenever we complain about something or just talk about ‘how bad it is’ not only do we leave feeling upset which does not help our personal situation, but we also give energy to the very situation we are lamenting.  Perhaps you are wondering how can my opinion really effect change halfway around the world?  The best analogy I have heard to explain this is place a drop of red ink in a glass of water.  As hard as you may try it cannot stay separate.  This is how our energy affects the world.  The ink will certainly not make the whole glass red, but it will, without a doubt, change the chemical make up.  Now imagine dropping three or four drops.  Now maybe 10 or 20.  You can see how a group of people standing around gossiping or complaining can really put a lot of negative energy out into the world.  So what to do about it?  Let’s face it at some point in time we are going to find ourselves wrapped up in one of these conversations.  Here is 3 things we can do at that point.  One, change the conversation to something more positive, or if that is unable to happen excuse yourself and walk away.  Two, begin to develop ‘positive gossip sessions’ ask a group of friends or coworkers what their favorite place to go on vacation, or favorite childhood memory.  Just keep the talk positive.  Start throwing some good energy out there.  Lastly, make a point to surround yourself with as many people who have positive attitudes as you can.  I had lunch with my good friend Jamie the other day and even in discussing events that many would perceive as negative, she managed to find the positive side of them.  These people are worth their weight in gold.  Try to schedule as much time with them as you reasonably can.  Better yet, try to be one of them yourself.  You will be amazed at how much better you will feel and how much better your life and the world around you will seem!