This weekend make sure to take time to recharge. However, be aware we also need to put in the effort. Getting ahead means doing the little extra that others won’t. That means putting in some hours at night, and yes on weekends, to pursue that big dream or goal of ours.
The level of success that we achieve has a direct correlation with the amount of effort we put in. That is ax thought worth keeping in mind this weekend. When you feel like binge watching a show, or spending all day in bed, ask yourself how successful you really want to be. If you are not looking to be that successful, than stay in front of that television or in that bed. Since you are reading a blog about the secrets to an amazing life, I’m guessing you want more. Remember, you can only achieve more, by doing more!
I am currently working on my fourth book, From Ruining Livers to Saving Souls, and learning a lot about both myself and life in general. As faithful readers of this blog, I am going to give you a bit of a preview. When I was growing up, I wanted to be a rock star. Really, who didn’t? My personification of what a cool leading man was Michael Hutchence from the band INXS. He seemed to have this sensual and yet mysterious aura about him. I managed to be in a few bands and have quite a bit of fun as you will be able to read in the upcoming book. Still, never quite a rock star.
Next up was being a bartender. The ringleader of the nightly circus. The star of the show. This I did for 23 years. I was pretty good, if I allow myself to say so. I flipped bottles. I learned the art of conversation to an insane degree. I mixed drinks. I was charming and friendly. I never realized the skill that made me a great bartender. It was the same skill that allowed me to excel working with the public during the day at the post office. I recall being on vacation in a different country and someone walking up to me saying, “You are the funny guy from the post office.” Crazy, but true.
During this time, I was also helping out at a meal program feeding under privileged individuals. I approached that with the same rock star/bartender personality that I had from my youth. I recall people switching lines to come to me at the meal program. They remembered something I had said to them the month prior. One gentleman told me, “You were the first person to call me ‘Sir’ in 5 years.” Before long, I had a little following at the meal program. It was good to see the smiles on the peoples faces. It was a lot like bartending, except for the fact I was serving beans and hot dogs instead of a rum and coke.
Fast forward to 2023. I went from being on the stage or behind the bar, to being behind the keyboard as both an author and a blog writer, and behind the microphone as a DJ and a host of the “Living the Dream with Neil Panosian” podcast. Highly recommend you check that out. When I was about to release my first book, a well-meaning customer explained to me that it would only sell about a dozen copies. The reason she gave for this prognostication, was that people don’t read anymore and that I didn’t have a major publisher behind me. That book has sold over 1000 copies and counting.
Why are we taking a brief trip through all of my occupations? I did skip hosting a radio and television show for a while. The former of which is the best job I have ever had. The reason why is that while writing about these and other life journeys I have had, I gained a most valuable truth. It is the secret for becoming a success in any endeavor you are engaged in. I unconsciously used the secret in every one of those professions I listed.
A lot of people say that when they become ‘rich and famous’ they will use that fame and fortune to help people. I have learned the best way to become a success at anything, and by doing so make a name for yourself, is to be of service. If you want to be important – be useful. As a bartender, I made sure to get to know my customers. What they drank. Their occupations, their family and anything else that would make them feel valuable. When I helped people at the post office, I would try to make the experience as fun as couldbe. My thinking was if I was stuck working there and they were stuck doing business there, why not make it the best and most entertaining 3 minutes of their day. As an author, my writing is dedicated to using my experiences in life and the lessons I learn, to benefit others. As a DJ, radio and television host, my goal is to have you walk away feeling better than when you arrived. In my podcast, we share many secrets to improve life and do it in a very entertaining way.
All of these examples are finding ways in which to serve the people I interact with. The more and better I was able to serve them, the more important and significant I became. Even at the meal program that I was fortune enough to help at, service was what set me apart. Everyone there was serving food and beverages, but I was the only one serving dignity and respect. These all became clear to me when I began to write about them for my upcoming book. If you wish to become someone of significance, become someone of service. People will always want to be around, and give their time, business and respect to someone who helps them or makes them feel good about themselves. If we all focused on the best way in which we can best serve each other, we will all be a success.
It can be hard to decide what actions to take and how to take them to improve different areas of your life. It may benefit you to meal prep and eat healthy meals for your physical well-being. Those same actions may not be the best ideas if you are trying to create a romantic date with you and your partner. Going to the gym is a great to reduce stress, but takes time away from your kids. Unless, of course, you get them to go to the gym with you. It would be so wonderful if there were a universal character trait that we could incorporate and develop in our lives that would benefit everything. Great news, there is!
Even better news is that it is only 3 words you need to start using in your life. Still too much? Ok, it is actually 2 words, because the last 2 are a hyphenated word, thus they are actually one word. Bad news for some of you, those words are consistent self-discipline. Here is why it needs to be those words. If you are self-disciplined ‘once in a while’, which really is not being disciplined at all, you will not see much of a difference in your life, if any at all. If you are careful with your diet one day, and the next get the most for your money at the all-you-can-eat buffet, your waistline will not shrink. If you workout every Monday, but sit around on your butt the other 6 days, a healthy physique will not be in your future. The picture above shows us the great reason to be self-disciplined. If we are, we control ourselves. If we only eat healthy if they are sold out of Bavarian cream doughnuts at the grocery store, they control us. side note: I found the secret here is to skip that section all together at first. If we only manage to control our road rage when the driver ahead of us actually does the speed limit, then they control us. Being self-disciplined means we control ourselves. Isn’t that how life should be?
Here is another reason to be consistently self-disciplined – it speaks to your integrity. (another great word to work on) If you only give your partner flowers when you make them mad, you are someone looking to make up for their mistakes. Not exactly a bad thing, but still reacting to the moment. If you are someone who is consistently taking action that will improve your relationship. You bring flowers home for no other reason than to put a smile on your partner’s face. You genuinely compliment them when you notice something wonderful about them. You help without being asked. Then you are someone who is in control of their role in the relationship. It speaks to your character as a good life partner. If you only avoid those doughnuts one day a week, you are someone struggling to be healthy. If the doughnuts are the exception and not the rule, you are a healthy person.
Here is the best reason to be consistent in your self-discipline – it allows you to accomplish things. If you want to be a success at ANYTHING, you need to be self-disciplined, and you need to be so consistently. If you want to be healthy, if you want to be wealthy, if you want to have an amazing life or relationship, if you want to be a great writer or cake designer, you need to be consistent in your self-discipline. You need to take the actions on a daily basis that allow you to become the person who will accomplish the goals you are chasing. This formula does not allow doing things only when you feel like it, or when it is easy. Everyone likes to go to the gym when it is convenient, but what about when it is freezing outside? How about when it is raining? Snowing? You must be consistent in your discipline and your dedication.
How do you become self-disciplined? I will give you 3 quick ways and encourage you to research more on your own. First, take a look at the picture to start this post. There are a lot of great ideas. Second, pick up so good books on the subject and practice what they say. One of my favorites is Discipline Equals Freedom by Jocko Willink. Third, and most important, develop your why. If you have a strong enough purpose, it will keep you going when the feeling to do so is absent. I would love to hear your tips for staying disciplined in the comments below. We could all use a little extra help in this area.
I am going to open this post with a bold assumption. Your definition of success is entirely incorrect. If we were to look up the definition of success online, or even in a dictionary for any old-school souls out there, it would, undoubtedly, say something about achieving a goal, reaching a destination or something similar. I say that definition is incomplete at best. If we were to consider ourselves a success only when we accomplish a goal or reach a definition, we would have to consider ourselves failures most of the time.
I am more inclined to agree with the above definition of success coming from Earl Nightingale. The key word in his definition is progressive. We are progressing, or in the process of achieving our goal roughly 90-95% of the time. If we wait to celebrate until we achieve our goal that would mean that we would be unhappy the vast majority of the time. This would not only be unhealthy, it would be rather foolish. One of the ways we could greatly increase the happiness in our lives, is to find ways to enjoy the process. Not only would this increase the joy we experience and the amount of time we spend in joy, but it would greatly increase our chances of succeeding.
At one of my seminars I had someone ask me, “What does happiness have to do with success?” I equate that with asking what granite has to do with the Himalayas – everything! If something is enjoyable, you are more likely to stick with it. That is why I advocate to add something positive rather than worry about getting rid of the negative. At the very least, do both at the same time. Let us take trying to get in shape. Not a lot of people enjoy going to the gym, especially when they are first starting out. Some people enjoy swimming. Some of us like going for hikes in the park. Still other like riding a bicycle or walking with a dog. Maybe playing a game of basketball with friends or joining a group of friends who go for runs. Which one of these would help you get in better shape? The answer is all of them. The best answer is the one you enjoy doing most.
Why? Life will give us every excuse not to stick to our goals. You had a tough day at work are you more likely to do something you don’t enjoy or something you do? I think we all know the answer to that question. Same with changing your diet. Focusing on what you can’t have can make you feel like you are starving yourself. What is the solution? How about finding fun meals to cook with the one you love? Subscribing to a healthy cooking magazine or website? Joining a healthy cooking class? The possibilities are endless. I had to really work on this while finishing my second book, Living the Dream. Creating content is fun for me, but I had to find a way to enjoy the formatting, editing and things of that nature. These lessons will serve me well as I work on my third book.
Finding ways to enjoy the process allows us to enjoy that 95% of the time that we may otherwise overlook. It will fill our lives with a lot more joy and increase our chances of succeeding at whatever goal we may be pursuing. If our goal is to live a more positive life, than enjoying the process will allow us to succeed 100% of the time. Even the “negative” experiences bring us closer to, and often increase the joy we feel when we reach our goal. It makes the successes that much sweeter. The tougher the fight, the more rewarding the victory. Keeping this thought in mind will allow us to enjoy every step of the process. Even when it seems we are taking steps back, or getting further away from our goals, we are still learning valuable lessons. Success is seldom, if ever, a linear journey. Enjoy the process my friends. It will transform your life.
I have always been a fan of Michael J Fox. Good actor, great human. Being open with his struggles with Parkinson’s disease and his desire to help those similarly affected. This post is not so much about the man or the condition, but about the approach demonstrated in both the situation and the quote above.
I think acceptance is one of the most important first steps in whatever situation you are facing. The issue for many of us is that we confuse acceptance with resignation. When you accept something, it does not mean you are ok with it. It also does not mean you are not going to work to improve or find away to work despite it. If you find there is a situation that is not to your liking there are two ways in which we can approach this. We can argue, fight and complain about it. We can continue to deny and work against it. This usually results in wasted energy on our behalf and a lot of additional stress. No real benefit there. You certainly will not find yourself any closer to an amazing life.
The second way, and far more recommended way, is to first accept the situation as it is. Perhaps you were let go from your job unfairly. You could complain and let everyone know just how bad the company ‘did you wrong’. Chances are you will still be remain unemployed at the end of the day. Your time would have been better served working on the situation. Saying to yourself, “I was let go. It shouldn’t have happened but it did.” Then begin to analyze the situation to see what, if anything, you can learn from it. Were you too comfortable being involved in workplace politics? Did you leave yourself vulnerable and relied too much on a single source of income? Did you not keep your resume up to date?Maybe the same holds true for your education and your skill set?
Once you discover what you can learn from the situation, do not beat yourself up over that. Instead, note that it is so and learn from that. Didn’t keep your resume up to date? Time to work on that. Need to brush up on some skills? Go ahead and do that. Maybe next time try to keep a better lookout for a workplace with a lot less drama and politics. These steps work for both people and situations. If your friend has a different political or social view than you, don’t waste your time trying to “change them over to your way of thinking.” The more productive path is to accept your friend for who they are and make sure to steer situations and conversations in a direction that does not bring up that subject.
The best place that acceptance can pay off is with yourself. Accept your faults or things that you could improve on. This requires both a great deal of honesty and bravery. Then, go to work on those things. Without admitting there is an issue to begin with, it makes it very difficult to craft a plan to improve it. Accepting you have a shortcoming (newsflash – we all do) does not make you less of a person. Quite the opposite. It means you are brave enough to admit, even to yourself, that there are areas in which you can improve. Then, accept that and begin to work on finding a way to work through it. By doing this in all areas of your life you will reduce stress and find your speed and success and solving problems will increase.
This title is a little tongue in cheek. Success does require a great deal of work, focus and discipline. Still, there are things we can do that allow success to have a smoother, and thus, a quicker road in our lives. Who would not want that?
Aside from developing and maintaining an attitude of gratitude, surrounding yourself with positive driven people who want to see you succeed is one of the most important choices you can make. Notice i ‘choice’. For the most part we can decide who we would like to have in our lives.
What is the benefit of this? There are many. Just some of them include the following; increased accountability. Now this can not always seem fun at first. Who wants to hear “did you go to the gym today?”. Quite often though knowing we will be held accountable for our actions keeps us focused on taking positive ones. Encouragement. The opposite side of the coin, when you feel like giving up having someone to pick you up and let you know they believe in you can give you the strength to keep going. I heard Les Brown say once “sometimes you have to believe in others belief in you until you can believe in yourself”. I can say from personal experience that is true. Lastly there is an increased network. There are always people who know people, and knowing more of them only serves you well. I cannot count the times i have had people tell me “I know this person that would like to buy your book“. Through them i am able to reach and help more people.
These are just some examples and there are a great deal more. Regardless of what you stand to gain, surrounding yourself with good people who want you to succeed will help.
Feel free to share tips on surrounding yourself with good people or what you can gain out of it in the comments below.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 