Tag: success

THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE I KNOW ☺️

Many people find themselves in a state of unhappiness. There is a way to turn that around. That is to begin to work on becoming the best version of yourself. It begins with an honest evaluation of where you are now. This can be a bit deflating, but in order to know where you want to go, it is necessary to know where you are. Think of looking at a map. If you were to look at your destination, but have no idea where you are, how would you know in which direction you should go. It is the same with the journey of your life.

I once heard Tony Robbins say, “Progress equals happiness.” Earl Nightingale’s definition of success is, “A progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” Both of these bring up a good point. It is not the accomplishment of goals, or reaching a certain point that brings us the greatest deal of happiness. Although those certainly should be celebrated. If you notice in both quotes, the word ‘progress’ is featured. Think of trying to get in shape. It certainly is a great feeling to look in the mirror and find yourself at the level of fitness you desire. Do you know what is an even more exciting feeling? When you realize you have to by a size smaller in clothing because the size you have been wearing for the last couple of years is now too large. You know you are on your way!

One of the greatest thieves of joy is comparison. It can even upend progress. Have you ever had this experience? You are feeling good about the progress you have made towards some goal. Smile on your face, joy in your heart. Then you run into a friend who has made greater progress towards the same goal, maybe even in a shorter amount of time. Suddenly, your happiness is crushed. You go from feeling like a conqueror to a failure. It is worse if you are just about to start your journey of self-improvement. You pop on social media and see pictures of people who you went to school with that have not only already accomplished the goals you are striving for, but have surpassed them.

The phrase that comes to mind in all of these examples is “Who cares!” That is them. We never know anyone’s complete story. Maybe they post pictures of their career success but fail to mention the happy home life it cost them. Maybe they appear to be madly in love, but are fighting addiction. Another important point is that each journey is unique to the individual. I am more impressed with someone who has managed to reach a state of inner peace after fighting the demons of depression than someone who has reached inner peace after inheriting a fortune from their family. That is why it is so important to be focused on improving ourselves and the challenges we have overcome.

Here is a bonus way of making this more fun and enjoyable. Look for the small accomplishments of your friends, family and even your coworkers. Celebrate them as if they were your own. You never know what it took for them to overcome that. The more you help others celebrate their wins, the more joy and peace will come to your heart. Not to mention, the more likely they are to celebrate your wins as well. Remember, there is enough room for all of us to win!

KEEP SWINGING ⚾️

It is spring here in the Northern hemisphere. In this country, that means the start of baseball season. Out of all the sports, this one has one of the longest seasons. There are 162 games to play in a single year. By contrast, in the National Football League, they play 18. That means in the course of a baseball season you can have a run of good luck and great play, followed by a run of less than stellar play. What makes a good season? How can you get back on track after a bad streak? The answer is the same in baseball as it is in life. That answer is you keep swinging.

A few days ago we celebrated 1000 days in a row of sharing content. This is actually day 1003. How did we manage to keep this up through a busy life and many obstacles? We kept swinging. Sometimes our content reached hundreds, in many countries. Sometimes it was only a few in a few countries. On occasion we received lots of engagement. There were weeks when we received none and were left to wonder if anyone was reading at all. Life is like that too. Some days life can seem to be flowing along smoothly. There are days when we hurt ourselves just getting out of bed. Even a few days where we just can’t make it out of bed at all. What to do in any of those situations? Keep swinging.

Showing up in life doesn’t guarantee us success. Not showing up does rather limit our opportunities however. In my own personal experience, sometimes when you show up and can barely go through the motions is often when people need you the most. There are times that whether I am writing, at my day job or as a DJ, I feel I am not bringing my best and someone will tell me how much I have impacted their lives.

Many people talk about grind and hustle. I want to remind of the power of persistence and resilience. Being able to show up in the face of life’s storms takes a special skill but one that will define you as someone who can be counted on. It will expose you to the maximum amount of opportunity and increase your chance for success. I am going to leave you with a quote from the Rocky movies that wraps up what we have been talking about nicely. As always, I would love to hear your feedback!

WANT SUCCESS? KEEP IT SIMPLE 💯

This post was inspired during the amazing dinner that Margie and my mother put together to help celebrate 1000 blogs on this site. Our good friend, Ron Perez, looked around the table and told me something that in its simplicity, was yet profound. He said, “Neil, all you need is good friends and good food.” He was right. I could not have been happier than I was that night. No amount of fame or fortune could have done it. No amount of monetary reward. People often trip over some of the greatest treasure on their way to look for it.

Having a good group of friends and being able to share some good food, is something far too many of us in the world are not able to do. In fact, having a strong social circle and good friends is one of the most determining factors in longevity. This according to the Blue Zone book that examined the lives of the longest living people and what they had in common. Mr. Perez’s statement was quite the wise one and backed up by science.

Many folks spend a great deal of their time and energy investing in obtaining wealth and prestige. If you were to obtain such things and sacrifice your relationships to do so, you would still be poor. Something about friends – money cannot buy true ones. It is something that has to be fostered and grown with time. It takes trust, honesty, love, compassion and many other things that money or fame could not buy. On the opposite end of the spectrum, if you lack money but still have a great deal of true friends, you are wealthier than you can imagine. Not only are they able to help you, be that financial or connecting you to opportunities, but they will encourage and support you emotionally.

I am still reeling from the outpouring of love that I received at that surprise dinner the other night. That made me feel like the wealthiest person in the world! By our definition, I believe that I am. In your life, keep it simple. Invest in the things that truly matter. Take care of those who take care of you. Spend your time and money building friendships and helping others. The payout will be far better than any winning lottery ticket you could come across. To me, my friends and family are the greatest treasure.

DISCIPLINE BUILDS WHAT MOTIVATION CAN’T 💪

Being a big fan of motivation, this quote holds extra sway. Motivation can inspire action. It is like a match that lights a fire. The tricky bit about motivation is that it varies. It can be up one day and be quite hard to find on another day. If we only did things when we felt motivated to do so, our lives would be a lot worse off. Can you imagine what your bank account would look like if you only went to work when you felt like it? How about if you only paid the electric bill when you felt motivated to do so? The house would probably be pretty dark.

Motivation can lead us down the wrong path on occasion. Like in the picture above. You may be motivated to eat half a pizza because it tastes good. If you follow doing what feels pleasurable in the moment, you can be in for a lifetime of regret and consequences. If you have the discipline to eat things that fuel your body and not just your tastebuds, you may not have the momentary joy, but you will have a long-term reward of good health. Here is the unfortunate truth, people will often discourage you from making good choices making discipline even more difficult. You will hear things such as “One bad meal won’t make that much difference.” or “You went to the gym a couple days ago. You deserve some rest.” Momentary pleasure can lead to a lifetime of regret.

Another reason to choose discipline over motivation is that it is not dependent on the opinions of others. If doing the right action for you depends on the applause and encouragement of others, what do you do when you are alone? We should work on being able to do the right thing when nobody is applauding us. Often, we can find criticism coming in our direction when we are working on discipline. Hearing things such as, “He is not at fun as he used to be. Never goes to the club and is always at the gym.” Months and years later when you are healthy and enjoying life, and their liver is shot, suddenly they may not think ‘living for the moment’ is so fun.

I am not advocating doing away with anything fun in your life. We need escapes in this stressful world. What I am cautioning against is becoming a slave to pleasure or relying on motivation to take the actions you know you need to take. Motivation is great and I encourage you to get as much of it into your life as you can. I have many great ways to do so here on this site and in my 3 books. While you are looking for ways to keep you motivated, make sure to work on your self-discipline. It will take over when motivation is no place to be found.

2 PART SUCCESS FORMULA 🙌

When pursuing success, many of us can overcomplicate things. The simple formula outlined above will get us wherever we want to go. It all starts with discipline. You must be able to say ‘no’ to the things that take you further from your goal and ‘yes’ to the things that bring you closer. That can be very difficult when that warm slice of pizza takes you further away, and going out in the cold to go to the gym is what brings you closer. It takes a strong will to be able to do this. As simple as it is, it is not easy.

The second part is even tougher patience, or consistency, which means doing the discipline over and over again. Even when you do not feel like it. Even when you do not see any signs that it is not working. That is how we improve. Let us say you are trying to improve your relationship. You are putting in the effort. Working on becoming a better listener. You are being more romantic. Still, your partner seems not to appreciate your efforts. It can be tempted to think they are not working and go back to having nightly shouting matches. What you may not know is that they are not fully able to trust your actions as genuine. Maybe they are working through their own feelings. The possibilities are endless really.

Being disciplined is hard. Being patient and working consistently may be even more difficult. You must know if you stick with these two actions, they will take you anywhere you want to go. The timing may be longer than you would like, but get there you will. Even if you seem to face setback after setback, that is all part of the journey. The more you get out of the way, the closer you are to achieving your goal. Write or print out this formula. Put it up somewhere you will see it daily. Work on your patience and your discipline. They will be the tools you need to build a successful life.

LIFE IS A LOT EASIER IF YOU ARE RICH! 🤑

This should be a no-brainer for most people. Being rich seems like it would add a little joy to life. Not having to get up to go to work. Being able to do what you want, when you want. Not worrying about things like house and car repairs. When you are feeling ill being able to go to the hospital without first weighing the cost that you will incur by doing so. How about dressing nicer or eating at fancy restaurants? Yes, life is a lot better when you are rich. That is not at all what this post is about!

Many of you know that I am currently working on my fourth book. In doing so, I have asked many people their definition of a fulfilling life. Today I asked the person behind the counter at one of the local coffee shops that I frequent when I write. His name is Antonio and he is always a very pleasant fellow. His answer was at once both simple and profound. He said, “Being happy.” After a moment of contemplation, he expounded on that thought and added, “Being happy with your body, with who you are spiritually. Being rich in the important things.” It started me thinking on how we define true wealth.

The thing about the wealth we were talking about is that it is both conditional, and to a large extent, beyond our control. Stock markets crash. Business fail. Droughts and famine happen. Here is another thing about material wealth, it really is a bit down on the list if you stop and think about it. If you work on your wealth to the detriment of your own health, is it worth it? You work day and night and end up with a heart attack. How much is the money worth now? What if you spend all your time chasing material success and do not spend any time investing in your relationships? How could would it feel to be rich and alone? The picture above is a prime example. It shows me and my three book covers. It was taken in sunny Jamaica. It is great to have published 3 books and it is always great to be in the tropics, but if I had nobody to share it with, what fun would that be? The best part of that is the lady who took the picture, my fiancée Margie.

We hear of so many wealthy celebrities who turn to drugs or tragically commit suicide. Many of us ask, “How could they want to kill themselves? They had everything.” This is proof that material wealth does not, by itself, make a fulfilling life. Taking care of our mental health, and the mental health of those we love, is so important. Investing in our physical, mental and spiritual health is where the real wealth comes in. Spending the time to create a deep and loving relationship that will give us joy whether things are hitting the jackpot or hitting the fan is real wealth. Become rich is things the world cannot take away.

There is one more area I want to mention that it pays to be rich in. That area is kindness and compassion. There can be no greater wealth than to be someone who is kind to others. The more you invest in this, the better you will make both your life and those you share it with. Someone who has a heart full of kindness and compassion is someone who is truly rich indeed. Someone who has a heart filled with revenge, greed and disrespect is poor, no matter how many dollars he has in the bank. Become rich in the things that matter. That is what will give you a fulfilling life.

NEW AGAINST OLD, YOU AGAINST YOU 🥊

This is one of those reminders that we do not like to get. I recall, in my own life, how this hit home. Looking back, there were a lot of character issues I had. One day while reading a book about Theodore Roosevelt, it occurred to me that I really needed to work on me. For years I had been blaming my behavior on a host of different factors. None of which were the real cause. The real cause was me and the choices I was making at the time. It was the actions I was taking and those I did not take that I should have.

It was at that moment I realized I had to take ownership of my own life. This was at once both scary and liberating. Scary because I had to admit all my past behavior was my fault. Scary because I knew it was up to me to fix all of it. It was at the same time very liberating. When I stopped trying to blame other people and circumstances for my situation, it meant I also had the power to fix it. Different decisions could be made. Different actions taken, or not taken as the case may be.

Some of you might be in the same situation. Your life is not all that you know it could be. It is far too easy to blame our upbringing, our grumpy boss, our controlling spouse or our seeming lack of opportunity. If you trace all of those circumstances back far enough, you will see that they have the same common denominator – you. Taking responsibility for your own life can be scary. As stated above, it can also be very liberating. It is up to you to change your habits, routines and decisions. Rest assured this will be a struggle. It will be tempting to fall back into old habits. The old version of you will not want you to change. It will take work and it will be a never-ending battle. By fighting that battle, you gain the ultimate freedom. That is control of your own life.

TIME TO STEP UP! 🤑

Many of us hide our true goals and ambitions from the world for fear of what they might think. It is time to ask yourself, it what ways have you been playing small? Why have you been doing so? In what ways might your world benefit from being who you truly are and chasing what it is that you really want?

FALL IN LOVE WITH THE BOTTOM OF THE ICEBERG 🧊

When we see a massive iceberg, roughly 90% of it is underwater. That means, doing simple math, what we see is only 10% of the entire thing. Same with success. The victory, the accomplishments and the achieving of goals is only 10% of the process. As the photo above shows, 90% of the process involves things like hard work, sleepless nights and persistence. If this is where most of our time and energy end up, it is important we need to fall in love with this aspect. Why settle for being happy a mere 10% of the time? You deserve more from you life.

Falling in love with the process sounds rather cute and cliche, but what is the true meaning behind it? More to the point, how can we start to do that? As an author, I can tell you that the time I get to celebrate publishing a book is a mere fraction of the time it takes to write it. If I were to only be happy when a book was completed, it would be a pretty miserable existence. One way I found that keeps me loving the process is celebrating small wins along the way. Whether that is finishing a chapter, designing a cover, or simply opening my computer to write, there is lots to celebrate. On days when the process is the most difficult, that is when it is important to celebrate the most. Maybe you can congratulate your self for just showing up. Take getting in shape. They say the heaviest weight in the gym is the front door. That means the most difficult part of working out is getting your butt to the gym. Anyone starting this journey certainly could agree.

Another way to love the process is to develop and maintain a growth mindset. That is to say seeing challenges and obstacles as a way to learn, grow and reach closer to your goal. This can be made a lot easier by being mindful and present. When you are fully in the moment and not upset that you are not where you want to be just yet, it allows you to focus and control your energy better. It is also wise to take a brief mental trip into the future and do your best to feel like you will once your goal is accomplished. Experiencing that, if only briefly, may give you the motivation to push on.

How do you fall in love with the process? What keys to success would you offer our viewers? Share in the comments below.

HOW IT WILL LIKELY BE 😮

Monday morning will be time to start our weekly grind. For those of us in business for ourselves, the work never stops. Whether we are talking financially, spiritually or even relationships, the picture above holds true. I am not sure why we assume that success, in any endeavor, will be linear. There are peaks and valleys. How we view each will go a long way in determining the quality of our life. Understanding this will happen is the first key to success. Having the unrealistic expectation that life will be a continuous series of ups will only set us up for disappointment.

Most of us understand this point intellectually. Yet, when it happens to us we feel like we are failures or may never succeed. This is why sites like this, and motivation in general is so important. There are moments even the most enlightened and driven of us find ourselves in a world of doubt. That is why it is so important to continue to prepare for challenges before they happen. On my appearance on the television show, Positively Milwaukee, I used the analogy that it is better to learn to swim on the shore then when the boat is sinking. In other words, know there will be challenges, on all levels and do your best to prepare for them.

This quote from Zig Ziglar rings true. We never know when challenges will arise. If it happens today, chances are that thing you read, or video you watched last week, will not help you. We need to feed our spirit daily. When we talk about feeding our spirit, it is the same as feeding our body. What we feed it is just as important as how often we feed it. There is a saying in the computer programing field, “Garbage in, garbage out.” The same holds true for what we allow in our spirit. Is it filled with people who complain, and talk shows that tell us the sky is falling? Do we spend a few minutes a day in quite meditation, or at least contemplation? Do we read/watch/listen to something inspiring every day?

In life let us take the lessons from the both the peaks and valleys. Let us also understand they are both part of our journey and we are going to experience both on the way to success.