Tag: struggle

YOU TOO CAN BE A DIAMOND 💎

It is an interesting fact is that we all are made up of the same elements. 65% of which is oxygen, followed shortly behind with carbon at 18.5%. This alone should deter some of the racists and bigots, but I will leave that for a different day. What I want to talk about is the carbon. roughly 20% of all of us are made up of carbon which is pretty much what charcoal is made of. Before you start feeling like a worthless piece of coal, let’s look at what happens when that coal is put under heat and pressure. It transforms into a diamond!

Next time you feel like the heat is on in your life, or you feel the pressure starting to get to you, think of this piece of coal. Say to yourself, or out loud if you are daring, “Looks like my carbon is being turned into a diamond!” The longer we go through life, the more pressure and heat we will go through. If done right, we can transform into a diamond. If we are treated poorly, it can strengthen our resolve to treat others with compassion and kindness. When we are ignored, it can remind us to include others.

There is a cliche that the challenges of life should make us better and not bitter. The point of that is that we have a choice. Let us decide better. Let us decide to become a diamond. Remember to say to yourself, “This challenge is turning my carbon into a diamond.”

SURVIVAL GUIDE 📖

This has been something I have been sharing for even longer than the two decades I have been working in the self-improvement industry. What you go through will often be painful. You may doubt that you will ever make it through. When you do, it may very well become your greatest tool, and your greatest gift to others. Sharing your story, including mistakes you made and hurt you felt, can be what saves the life of another. So many of us can feel alone when we are going through our struggles. Hearing a story of someone else who has went through the same struggle can help give us hope and the will to power through. At the very least, it will help us understand that we are not alone.

It would be foolish to think that going through a painful experience would be anything less than devastating. We will hurt, we will suffer. We may even doubt that we will make it through. If we can somehow keep in the back of our minds that we will one day use it to help someone who feels just like we do now, that may give us the strength we need to make it through.

For those of you who have already made it through your pain, or maybe are currently working through it, please share your story. It doesn’t matter if you are still struggling. It is actually is better if you are. It will help you better relate to and reach other souls who are in pain. In doing so, you may find the healing that otherwise seemed out of reach. No matter what your struggle is, no matter where you are in your healing, someone out there needs to hear your story.

EMERGE FROM THE DARKNESS 🧟‍♂️

A few posts back, we discussed the importance of self-care. If you missed it, I highly suggest giving it a quick read. One of the two reasons we gave for healing yourself was the ability to pass the knowledge of what worked onto others. This is priceless information. Often, when we are going through pain, we can compound the emotional struggle by feeling alone. It can seem as if nobody in recorded history has had the problem we are facing. We may know that is not true intellectually, but it can still feel that way from an emotional standpoint.

Imagine, if you will, how healing it would be to hear from someone who has faced similar challenges to what we are now facing? If they could share with us how they overcame it? How valuable would both of those things be? Speaking for myself, they could make all of the difference in whether or not I make it through a situation. I often wonder why more people do not realize the power of sharing not only their successes, but their struggles. On social media, it would seem everyone wants to appear perfect. Being imperfect is where it is at, if you ask me. It makes you more relatable. Who can relate to someone who has a perfect life? Certainly not me.

The most interesting thing happens when I tell people that they are a healer or a hero. Whether it is out of modesty or maybe even ignorance, they just blush and say, “Not me. I am nothing special.” That could not be further from the truth. Every struggle you have made it through and lived to fight another day is a victory. “It was messy and a screwed a lot of things up.” they say. Great! You don’t think someone hearing that despite doing seemingly everything wrong, you still overcame and later thrived could be valuable? “What if what worked for me doesn’t work for them?” they ask. That’s fine. Knowing something can work in that situation can give them courage to try their own solution.

Please understand that having a life that is not perfect does not make you less than. What it does make you is a healer and someone who could help and inspire others. As long as you had to suffer the pain, put it to good use helping others. You never know when your struggle could save someone else.

ARE YOU STRUGGLING?🤔

Almost all of us know the cliche “the struggle is real.” I think all of us have struggled, or are struggling currently with at least one thing in our lives. That says that all of us will suffer and will continue to do so, to greater or lesser degrees, for the rest of our lives. Not very optimistic sounding, but certainly true.

How come some people seem to float through one struggle after another, while others are paralyzed? It is preparation and mindset. Our mindset, or attitude, about life has a greater impact than anything else. I heard a song lyric today that said, “You say the struggle is real. I say the struggle reveals. ” What does struggle reveal about you? Are you preparing your mind for the struggles that are coming?

That brings us to the next obvious question, “How can we prepare our mind for struggle?” Les Brown, when asked why he didn’t give up when he was diagnosed with cancer said, “I just decided cancer wasn’t going to beat me.” That is a powerful mindset. I determine to find the gift and lesson in every struggle. It is like saying to the challenge life has thrown at me, “You tried to destroy me, but I used you to help me grow.” In short, it is like giving a middle finger to struggle, but far more productive.

It is time for you to think how you handle struggle. None of them are easy. All of them suck. We have the choice to decide if the storms of life will use us, or if we can find a way to use them. PLEASE share any ideas you have for not letting struggle get you down. I think we could all benefit by working together on this subject .

ALL IN HOW WE LOOK AT IT

Challenges. We all go through them. Some are small, like leaving your cup of coffee on top of your car as you drive away. Some are big, such as a breakup or losing someone. We have little or no control over most of these. Who would voluntarily give up their dose of caffeine just to decorate the outside of their car?

What we all have in common is the fact that our lives include challenges. Some may appear to have more than others, but if we look closely we discover we all have them. What separates us is how we respond to challenges. How come some of us walk away bitter and some walk away better? This can even happen differently with the same person depending on the situation. I can say that I do not always respond best from challenges and often it takes the help of others to put me on the right track.

What makes the difference? The key here is perspective. As the picture above notes, some people have muscles and some have wounds. It is not a matter of minimalizing your pain or struggle, but putting it to work for you. As Eric Thomas, one of my favorite coaches reminds us, don’t waste your pain. It is bad enough that terrible things happen in life. Let us do our best to make use of them by gaining strength from the struggle we have survived or in some cases are currently going through. Print out this picture or maybe even just write it down for some good motivation!

VICTIMS OR SURVIVORS?

Perception and definition, things we have control of. As you are currently reading this I can assume you are alive and kicking. No matter what has happened or is happening in your life you have survived it. You have made it through. You have a 100% success rate at surviving whatever it is life has thrown at you. It does not mean you do not have some scars and battle wounds, but you made it through.

It may have changed you. It may have changed the way you look at the world, but how that happens is a great deal up to us. It depends a great deal on whether we view ourselves as victims of what happened to us, or survivors. As a victim, you may feel like because of a situation you have went through you will never be able to trust anyone again. As a survivor you may decide you will learn for additional behaviors that could lead to deception. As a victim you may feel broken because of a challenge life has put you through. As a survivor you will feel stronger for making it through. Victims are left with a feeling they will never be happy again. Survivors realize although life may never be the same, there is blessings in everything and new ways to discover joy they may be forced to find.

Again, this is not to say you will not have scars. It is not to say that life will not knock you down every now and again. The difference between a victim and survivor is whether you stay down or get back up. When we are sad, hurt or angry and going through some very dark period it may help to lock ourselves in a room with a mirror and yell into that mirror, “I am a survivor! You cannot beat me!” It may sound silly, but it will certainly change your outlook. Couple this with some inspiring music of your choice and it will get you through whatever it is you are going through. It may take a few times and it will take some faith on your time, but before long you will come out on the other side as a survivor and not a victim!

WHY I DO WHAT I DO

Early in my writing career, and every so often to this day, I ask myself the ever important question, “Why do I do what I do?” This may seem like an odd question to be asking yourself, but knowing yourself and why you do things is important to developing a strong why. Having a strong why is what will keep you doing what you are called to do long after the urge to do it has passed.

My answer is really twofold. The first part is a spiritual one. I believe this is what the creator has called me to do. I was given a gift to be able to find the light in even the darkest situation. This didn’t happen overnight and on occasion takes longer than on others, but eventually I see the positive in everything. I was also bestowed with other gifts as well. When I was a small child riding the city bus with my mom she quizzed me on vocabulary and now I have a rather large vernacular. In what can be viewed as either a blessing or a curse, I am very empathetic. I feel the pain others go through and as such, have a strong desire to make this world a better place.

On the more secular side of things, I have a very strong desire to share what I learn. Why? Why not just keep that knowledge to myself and use it to create a life I love? I certainly have done the second half of that. I do indeed love the life I live. It is not without its challenges, but I love it. My life is in a constant state of improvement. That in itself is exciting to me. I know that no matter how good or bad of a day I am having, I will learn something in the future that will allow me to reduce my stress and increase me joy even more.

Back to the question at hand, “that’s all great, but why feel compelled to share it with others?” Those of you who know my story will have some idea why. My life as a writer and seeker of light began in the darkest of situations. My job was being downsized, my health was in serious trouble and my relationship was in the dumpster. It was out of this despair that a determination to learn how to transform the life I was living to a life I would be loving was born.

As I began to learn and apply things my life began to transform. I noticed the people that were in my life had a lot of the same struggles I had faced. Wanting to see everyone experiencing the joy I was, I began to share everything I was learning. In return, some amazing things happened. First, people shared with me things they had learned and we compounded our knowledge. My friends Amelia and Sharon come to mind. Second, I found myself surrounded by people who were not only grateful, but becoming more joyful and positive, just like I was. This was not only more pleasant to be around, but helped make my journey that much easier and more enjoyable as well. Truly proof you receive that which you give away.

These are the main reasons I do what it is that I do. It is also reasons that all of you should do what it is you have been called to do as well. When we share our gifts and knowledge with each other, we not only brighten each other’s lives, but begin to create a shift in the world at large. We create a ripple effect and the gift and knowledge we share can touch the hearts and lives more people than we will ever know. I can’t think of a stronger why to share the gift of you with the world.

HOW DID YOU DO IT? WE NEED TO KNOW!

My next book will contain a new section titled “In the company of angels”. It is a collection of people who have faced a lot of challenges in life and remained positive. More important than their stories, which some of us may be able to relate too, are the ways they were able to overcome those challenges and hang on despite having every reason not to.

Here is where you the reader of this post come in. I am looking to add to that collection. If you would enjoy possibly becoming a part of my next book, I invite you to share your story with us here. Do so in the comments below. If I use your story, I will send you an autographed copy of the book when it is published. In addition you will inspire and help a lot of people who read this post.

We all go through pain and the best way to make use of it is to learn from it. The best way to make pain a gift is to use it to help others who may be going through a similar situation. In your story please include what you went through, how you were feeling and what allowed you to come out the other side with a smile on your face and joy in your heart.