Tag: stress reduction

ENJOY A MERRY LITTLE MOMENT

This was on the door of Starbucks as I arrived to write this afternoon. Taking a picture of the words, I happen to catch a cool reflection of the clouds and the tree and buildings. Not even intended, but it plays right into what we are going to discuss this post.

The holiday season is upon us. Halloween is long past. Thanksgiving is right around the corner. Before you know it, stores will be filled with shoppers and your social calendar will be filled with family, friends and work obligations. Not to mention trying to figure out what to buy for Bob and Betty to bring a smile to their faces this holiday season. There is also the uncomfortable situation of being around people that perhaps you wish you weren’t. It can all be very stressful. Some of you may have even been triggered just reading that last paragraph. I became exhausted just writing it.

The sign on the door had me thinking of what is missing from our holiday season. You might be thinking, “Missing? Didn’t you just give us a list of stressful stuff we already have? How can we afford to add one more thing without going insane?” Legitimate question. Their are two answers. The first is that by adding this one thing you will reduce you stress level during the holiday season. The second is that you may already have this in your life and not be aware of it. Either way, you will want to add more. This thing is…you guessed it, merry moments!

What is a merry moment? It can be many things. It can be coffee with a friend. It can be finding a new item to try at the grocery store. It can be seeing a smile on the face of someone you love. Tonight, Margie and I are going to try a new frozen pizza. Doesn’t sound like that dramatic of a moment, but it will be a merry little moment. Even if the pizza is no good, we have each other to experience it with and laugh while we look for something else to eat.

Creating merry moments often just requires being more present. There are so many little moments of joy in life that we take for granted. Merely being present and feeling and expressing gratitude for them will both add joy and reduce stress for us this holiday season. If you are thinking why only do this during the holidays? You are one smart individual! You do not have to. The holidays do present a unique opportunity to do this, but you can add merry little moments any time of the year.

Another great way to add more joy and less stress to your life is to focus on creating memories and not on material items. Gifts are nice, but what people really appreciate is the gift of time, attention and being heard. Remember we mentioned coffee with a friend? Imagine how much better the moment might be if you went in with the intention of being present and really enjoying each other’s company? While you are being jostled in the crowded store, instead of being stressed out, why not notice all the work that went into creating the displays? How about the innocent excitement on the face of the children in the store?

Merry little moments are all around us. It may take a little more attention and a little more intention, but the result will be more joy and less stress this holiday season. That is a result that all of us can get behind. Once you get into this practice and see how it can help you live an amazing life, you are going to want to continue it long past the holiday season. I would love to hear more about some of your favorite merry little moments.

YOUR WEEKEND VACATION

It is Friday! The weekend is so close we can taste it. It is our 2 days of vacation from the grind of the 9 to 5. For those of us who still work on the weekend, I feel your pain. For most of us it is a brief chance to focus on friends, family and errands we never got a chance to focus on. A little vacation if you will. The picture above is where I would like to vacation. It is actually where I would not mind living. For you it might be a cabin in the mountains or a penthouse in the middle of the city. Whatever the location, we all have an ideal escape. The odds are we are not currently there.

As I write this I am sitting in my favorite coffee shop I enjoy creating these bits of wisdom for you. The sun is shinning and if I close my eyes I could at least imagine I am writing in a coffee shop in the tropics. For a few moments I can escape reality. This is so important. In a world that can offer us for too many stressful things, it can be vital to have an escape. It is painfully obvious that many of us do not give enough attention to our mental health. Some push ourselves until we snap. We hear about the often tragic effect of letting this happen.

Can closing our eyes and picturing ourselves at a resort in the Maldives really save us from snapping on our coworkers and creating a situation we regret? The answer is both yes and no. Certainly we need to address the root causes of our stress. Taking a mini mental vacation will not do that. What it will do is give us a chance to pause and take a breath. This often gives us the ability to face those challenges in a clearer and healthier mindset. It can save us from yelling at our children, coworker or spouse. This can often make a bad situation worse.

If you are anything like me, and judging by some comments many of you are, you will want to take this up a notch. Although the closing your eyes while writing a blog at Starbucks is fun, it is more powerful the more intense you make this experience. Set aside five or more minutes several times a week. Let the family and friends know you are not to be disturbed during your ‘mental vacation’. Go where you will not be disturbed. This could be a bedroom, your favorite place in nature or anywhere else that works for you. Here is where it gets fun and where you can get creative!

Now that you have found your spot and hit the ‘Do Not Disturb’ button on your life, what is next? Try to create the most immersive experience you can. We are going to use the beach scenario as an example because it is the one I am most familiar with. This will work with whatever vacation you choose to go on. Important to note that you can go different places at different times. Try to gather materials that will engage as many of your senses as possible. In my beach example, this can include a video of the beach with sounds of ocean waves. How about some vanilla or coconut scented oils or candles? A creamy coconut drink? We are already up to 4 of the senses. Do this in a nice hot bath and you will be up to all five!

Do this for as long as, and as often as, you need. You will experience a decrease in stress and an increase in a feeling of overall well-being. Who knows? It could help you manifest a real vacation where you can soak in memories to use in future mental vacation moments!

A GOOD MOOD CAN BE TOUGH

In today’s world, staying in a good mood can be a struggle. On top of all of our daily stress, we have plenty of sources in media, and social media, bringing us the world’s stress. Just keeping our head above water can be a challenge.

Fortunately for us, there are a few steps listed above that can help us reduce our stress and increase our joy. If you need more, check out my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People. Available on Amazon.

5 simple steps. Sunlight, exercise, good food, gratitude and sleep. If you can develop habits to work these 5 items into your life, your stress will reduce and life will be so much more enjoyable.

HIDDEN MEDICINE 💊

I have been writing this post for a week now. That is to say I had the title and idea for a week, but I wanted to wait until I had the time to really sit down and share this with you. What do we mean by hidden medicine? The idea came to me while listening to a song with that very title by the band Red Thunder. If you get a chance, look it up on YouTube. What is the ‘hidden medicine’ and where to we find it? We find it inside ourselves. What is the hidden medicine we all have inside of us? It is many different things. We will touch on a few of them today. If I have left off your favorite one, please feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Inside each one of us, there is a vast storehouse of potential that goes unused. That is because it is never explained or taught to us. Schools are more about teaching us what to remember than how to use what is inside of us. Our parents and teachers were most likely never told about this great power either. By the end of this post, you will know what your hidden medicine is and how to use it. Some of this medicine helps heal you physically, some mentally, some emotionally and some spiritually. A lot of it will help in all areas. Let us get started with our hidden medicine and begin healing ourselves.

Our first hidden medicine is gratitude. If you have even followed this site for a short time, you know how much we promote gratitude. This is not by accident or because it is trendy. No, gratitude has a great deal of power. As you can see in the picture above, it can heal a lot of things in your life. If you were to do only one thing to improve your life, I would suggest developing an attitude of gratitude. Suffering from fear or anxiety? Gratitude can help you heal that. If you are feeling full of lack, if the outlook of your life looks grim or you feel that the world is out to get you, gratitude can help heal that. You will start to see magic in everyday life. You will realize what truly matters and how lucky you are no matter how contrary those statements may sound at the moment.

The next hidden medicine is helping others or altruism. There is nothing that will make you forget your problems, or help you feel a warm fuzzy feeling in your heart quicker than helping someone else. If you feel that your problems feel overwhelming, reach out to help someone else. Not only will you feel good for doing something good and making the world a brighter place for that individual, but your own problems might seem a little easier to tackle after that. Helping others can make us realize how important and valuable we are. It can help us to realize what a difference one person can make and remind us that person is us!

To avoid making this too long and losing any of you, we are going to lump some of the last hidden medicines together. We will put them under the umbrella of ‘self-care’. Is self-care really a hidden medicine? You bet it is! This can mean so many different things for each of us. Some of us like being in the garden and working with plants. Some like going for walks in nature. It could be meditation, coffee with a friend, a good workout or a glass a wine and a good book.

Here is the medicinal quality of all of these items. They will affect our emotional state. They will infuse our spirit with hope, joy and lots of other positive emotions. They will force us to live in and learn to love the moment. This will help reduce stress and all of the not so pleasant side-effects that comes with. Being happier, healthier and less stress can also help heal our relationships with others. Why is that important? The worst emotion to feel at a funeral is not loss, it is regret. Knowing you should have said or done something differently. Knowing you could have acted better. What would be worse is if the funeral was your own and you wasted a good portion of your life sick, stressed and overwhelmed. Use your hidden medicines today before it is too late. Again, if you would like to add more please share in the comments below.

YOUR WEEKLY SILLY REMINDER 😜

Just your weekly reminder to do something silly and fun. It will not only make you laugh and feel good, it will help prevent burnout and cognitive decline. It is equivalent to letting off some steam so the engine inside of your brain won’t blow up.

I would love to hear what fun and silly thing you do to help you reduce the stress of the week. Remember, do not wait until the weekend. Throw a little something silly during the week as well!

DON’T FORGET TO BE SILLY 😋

We have been doing a great job at looking at what many of the readers of this blog find to be a fulfilling life. We will get back to that and look at some more amazing answers very soon. As the week starts and the pressures begin, I wanted to look at something that may get overlooked or pushed to the back burner. That is what the quote above says. Make sure you do something silly and fun that serves no other purpose than make you happy.

A lot of what gets in the way of this is the guilt people feel when it comes to spending any time in non-productive activities. As important as self-discipline is, it is equally as important to balance that with some fun and relaxation. One of the great ways to do this is to include people in your life who embody this trait. In my own life, I have been blessed with a lovely lady who is the poster child for silly. She is always a great reminder to spend some time on silly fun. It lowers blood pressure, increases feel good hormones in the body and reduces stress.

For those who still feel a little guilty, remember that all of this increases creativity. When you are constantly working hard, you can wind up burnt out. It is so important to let off a little steam and do something that puts a smile on your face. It could be singing and dancing to your favorite song. It could be walking in nature and taking time to look at the birds, trees and listen to the wind. It could be listening to some jokes on your phone or computer. Whatever works for you. Just remember to include moments of this throughout your day.

A GREAT INVESTMENT 👍

It is a new year, and time to start some new habits. One of yours maybe to invest more. When we think of investing we often think of stocks, bonds and other financial terms. The best investment you can make is none of these. The best investment you can make is in you! Without strong mental, physical and emotional health, none of the material stuff matters.

Take a look at some of the possible investments listed above. Most of them are things we indulge in if we have time. This year – make time. The stronger foundation we build, the more we can accomplish and bring to the world. Investing in yourself will pay off in bringing a better version to those you love.

Which one of the investments above sound best to you? Let us know in the comments below.

WE CANNOT CONTROL THINGS 😳

During a conversation with my boss about a supervisor we have had for 2 years, but has never actually set foot in the building (this is something that could only happen at the Post Office) she exploded with emotion. Yelling about how much the situation is stressing her out and how much it upsets her. I explained the quote above. Far too many of us have the same reaction to many things in life that are beyond our control. As I watched her get angry and yell, I couldn’t help but think of what this was doing to her physically. When we put ourselves into constant states of stress, the physical outcome can be nothing short of lethal. Everything from an upset stomach to a heart attack.

Many of you might be tempted to say that the situation was actually to blame. That is not so. Our emotions are one of the things that we can control. This is something that most of us are never taught. We assume it is just an action/reaction world. Yes, it is a lot easier to be happy after winning the lottery than when you discover that you accidentally took two laxatives instead of allergy medicine, but we still have a great deal of control over our reactions. Our mind, where our emotions actually come from, is a muscle to be exercised. Like starting to exercise any muscle, it will be difficult at first, but will get easier the more we try.

Why bother with all this effort to train our emotions? For starters, not having a heart attack would be a good thing. You may be saying to yourself, “That could never happen to me!” The number one risk factor for a heart attack is high blood pressure. It is called the silent killer because it has no symptoms. Guess what raises your blood pressure? Stress! One of the greatest ways we can reduce our stress is through gaining control over our emotions. There are many ways in which this can be done. One of my favorites is to change what things mean. Bullying, at both the adult and child level, is a huge problem since Covid and getting worse. We can let the emotional, verbal attacks really stress us out, or we can understand that these are really people who are usually suffering from a poor self-esteem themselves. Nobody who is completely happy with themselves will attack another.

Another way is to change our perception about the event. When we are constantly in reaction mode, we become slaves to our emotions. They control us instead of the other way around. Are you really going to be anger’s slave? In addition to being a slave to the emotion, you are letting the person or event that caused your reaction control you and your emotional well-being. Nobody deserves to have that power other than you! That person who insulted you might have made you angry. That person who broke your heart may have made you sad. That is understandable. To stay in that emotional state is to let them continue to hurt you over and over again. You deserve better.

Lastly, you can mine your emotions. What I mean by that is to find the lesson in why you find yourself reacting and feeling that way. Is it telling you something about yourself? Is it telling you something about the people you have in your life or the situations you put yourself in? These are all things that we have some control over. Let your emotions give you the gift of improving your life. Stop being victim to them and put them to work for you. It will save you stress. It may even save your life!

WE ARE ALL MAD HERE 🎩

This quote from Alice In Wonderland applies as much to the real world as to the world of Wonderland. How many times throughout the day do you encounter someone and say to yourself “That person must be mad!“ Usually it might be something a little more verbally intense, but in the same vein.

This is the interesting thing about this whole situation. You could really benefit by thinking of the real world as some kind of Wonderland! That grumpy coworker is just a character in the story. It may even help to imagine them looking the part. Challenges at the office turn into situations you have to overcome to get home. Just like Alice did when she was stuck in Wonderland!

This shift in the way you look at the world may not seem like such a big thing. It may even seem a little silly, but that’s the point. If you can go from stressed and angry to amused and silly, that is a win for you and your life! Imagine your life as some kind of fantastical fairytale world and all of the people in it characters. It will lessen the stress and increase the amusement.

Never forget, we are all a little mad here.

WHAT IS YOUR DEFENSE?

The world can sure be a rough place. It can feel dark and overwhelming at times. It is then that we should think of this analogy. I ship in the ocean is surrounded by water, only a tiny fraction of which could sink it. Yet it can survive years, decades or longer without the slightest issue. Even an occasional leak can be fixed and the ship can continue to sail the oceans without succumbing to the water. We are not much different when it comes to the negativity of life. We are often surrounded by it. Some sink and some continue to sail through life unencumbered. What makes the difference?

The difference is, much like the ship, those people who sail through life have found a way to not let the negativity get inside of them. It comes down to having a good defense for the mental, physical and emotional challenges that we will come up against. The time to come up with this plan is now. As the saying goes, the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the second best time is today. Do not wait until your drowning to learn how to swim. Yes, that was a lot of metaphors in a row, but I am hoping it helps get the point across. Life may be smooth sailing now, but a storm is always right around the corner. Yes, that was another analogy.

There are many ways to set up a defense. Some people meditate. Some, like my mother, walk in nature. My fiancé likes to shop and create. I go to the gym or write. You have to find a constructive way to keep the water, in other words the stress, out of your ship. Should a leak develop, and you start to feel the negative creeping in, patch that sucker and get back to sailing. Having a healthy stress reduction plan could be a therapist to talk to, a journal to write in, a friend to meet for coffee or a dog to go for a walk with. What is your defense against the ocean of negativity we are all sailing through?