Tag: Stress

YOUR WEEKEND VACATION

It is Friday! The weekend is so close we can taste it. It is our 2 days of vacation from the grind of the 9 to 5. For those of us who still work on the weekend, I feel your pain. For most of us it is a brief chance to focus on friends, family and errands we never got a chance to focus on. A little vacation if you will. The picture above is where I would like to vacation. It is actually where I would not mind living. For you it might be a cabin in the mountains or a penthouse in the middle of the city. Whatever the location, we all have an ideal escape. The odds are we are not currently there.

As I write this I am sitting in my favorite coffee shop I enjoy creating these bits of wisdom for you. The sun is shinning and if I close my eyes I could at least imagine I am writing in a coffee shop in the tropics. For a few moments I can escape reality. This is so important. In a world that can offer us for too many stressful things, it can be vital to have an escape. It is painfully obvious that many of us do not give enough attention to our mental health. Some push ourselves until we snap. We hear about the often tragic effect of letting this happen.

Can closing our eyes and picturing ourselves at a resort in the Maldives really save us from snapping on our coworkers and creating a situation we regret? The answer is both yes and no. Certainly we need to address the root causes of our stress. Taking a mini mental vacation will not do that. What it will do is give us a chance to pause and take a breath. This often gives us the ability to face those challenges in a clearer and healthier mindset. It can save us from yelling at our children, coworker or spouse. This can often make a bad situation worse.

If you are anything like me, and judging by some comments many of you are, you will want to take this up a notch. Although the closing your eyes while writing a blog at Starbucks is fun, it is more powerful the more intense you make this experience. Set aside five or more minutes several times a week. Let the family and friends know you are not to be disturbed during your ‘mental vacation’. Go where you will not be disturbed. This could be a bedroom, your favorite place in nature or anywhere else that works for you. Here is where it gets fun and where you can get creative!

Now that you have found your spot and hit the ‘Do Not Disturb’ button on your life, what is next? Try to create the most immersive experience you can. We are going to use the beach scenario as an example because it is the one I am most familiar with. This will work with whatever vacation you choose to go on. Important to note that you can go different places at different times. Try to gather materials that will engage as many of your senses as possible. In my beach example, this can include a video of the beach with sounds of ocean waves. How about some vanilla or coconut scented oils or candles? A creamy coconut drink? We are already up to 4 of the senses. Do this in a nice hot bath and you will be up to all five!

Do this for as long as, and as often as, you need. You will experience a decrease in stress and an increase in a feeling of overall well-being. Who knows? It could help you manifest a real vacation where you can soak in memories to use in future mental vacation moments!

A GOOD MOOD CAN BE TOUGH

In today’s world, staying in a good mood can be a struggle. On top of all of our daily stress, we have plenty of sources in media, and social media, bringing us the world’s stress. Just keeping our head above water can be a challenge.

Fortunately for us, there are a few steps listed above that can help us reduce our stress and increase our joy. If you need more, check out my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People. Available on Amazon.

5 simple steps. Sunlight, exercise, good food, gratitude and sleep. If you can develop habits to work these 5 items into your life, your stress will reduce and life will be so much more enjoyable.

YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED ❤️

This post is a bit of an uncomfortable truth for all of us. Quite often we are looking outside of us for that magic key that will help fix everything that is wrong in our life. The hard truth is that many of the things holding us back are created by the person who looks back at us in the mirror every morning. Yes, that is not fun to hear, but it is absolutely true. Have you ever felt like you have 25 hours of things to do in a day? That you are running around crazy busy? One of the best ways to discover how to get more things done is by being honest about how much time we waste. “Not me!” I hear lots of you say. We all waste time. Seneca, a great stoic philosopher, once said, “It is not that we have a short time to live but that we waste a lot of it.” This guy died in the year 65. That was long before social media, Netflix and reels!

A great way to get a handle on our time, discipline and focus is a tool that not many are brave enough to do. Are you? For at least 2 days straight, write down what you are doing for every minute of your 24 hours. You may think, “Well I only watched a few minutes of Tik Tok videos.” Only to discover that you watched ten minutes of them…10 times. You may think you took a break to watch a little of your favorite series you wanted to catch up on. Only to discover it was 2 hours out of your day. Think of all you could have got done in 2 hours? This is not to say that you cannot have any fun throughout the day. Just that we must realize the pressure and stress we put on ourselves through our lack of self-discipline.

A quick solution for this is to set timers for your ‘breaks’ throughout the day. You want to watch some reels? Ok, set a timer for 15 minutes. Otherwise 2 hours later you will find yourself watching a cat drive a truck down the freeway stressing on how you can never get caught up on your housework. This happens to me while trying to write a book often. I am a social person by nature. This can be difficult for an author where you must spend a great deal in solitude writing. So, if I am working on a difficult chapter and a friend, or a beautiful blonde I happen to be engaged to, sends me a message, my brain will subconsciously tell me “This is a lot more fun.” Next thing you know I have had a 20 minute text conversation and have not typed a single word.

Yes, I enjoyed those conversations, but I will continue to be stressed with the lack of progress. It reminds me of the quote from Jim Rohn, “Discipline weighs ounces and regret weighs tons.” Yes, it takes discipline to put my phone away and work. The upside is that I will not be kicking myself the rest of the night for the progress I lost. Try writing down what you do for every minute of the day if you are brave enough. Be honest. What you discover may help you live a more productive and less stressful life.

HIDDEN MEDICINE 💊

I have been writing this post for a week now. That is to say I had the title and idea for a week, but I wanted to wait until I had the time to really sit down and share this with you. What do we mean by hidden medicine? The idea came to me while listening to a song with that very title by the band Red Thunder. If you get a chance, look it up on YouTube. What is the ‘hidden medicine’ and where to we find it? We find it inside ourselves. What is the hidden medicine we all have inside of us? It is many different things. We will touch on a few of them today. If I have left off your favorite one, please feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Inside each one of us, there is a vast storehouse of potential that goes unused. That is because it is never explained or taught to us. Schools are more about teaching us what to remember than how to use what is inside of us. Our parents and teachers were most likely never told about this great power either. By the end of this post, you will know what your hidden medicine is and how to use it. Some of this medicine helps heal you physically, some mentally, some emotionally and some spiritually. A lot of it will help in all areas. Let us get started with our hidden medicine and begin healing ourselves.

Our first hidden medicine is gratitude. If you have even followed this site for a short time, you know how much we promote gratitude. This is not by accident or because it is trendy. No, gratitude has a great deal of power. As you can see in the picture above, it can heal a lot of things in your life. If you were to do only one thing to improve your life, I would suggest developing an attitude of gratitude. Suffering from fear or anxiety? Gratitude can help you heal that. If you are feeling full of lack, if the outlook of your life looks grim or you feel that the world is out to get you, gratitude can help heal that. You will start to see magic in everyday life. You will realize what truly matters and how lucky you are no matter how contrary those statements may sound at the moment.

The next hidden medicine is helping others or altruism. There is nothing that will make you forget your problems, or help you feel a warm fuzzy feeling in your heart quicker than helping someone else. If you feel that your problems feel overwhelming, reach out to help someone else. Not only will you feel good for doing something good and making the world a brighter place for that individual, but your own problems might seem a little easier to tackle after that. Helping others can make us realize how important and valuable we are. It can help us to realize what a difference one person can make and remind us that person is us!

To avoid making this too long and losing any of you, we are going to lump some of the last hidden medicines together. We will put them under the umbrella of ‘self-care’. Is self-care really a hidden medicine? You bet it is! This can mean so many different things for each of us. Some of us like being in the garden and working with plants. Some like going for walks in nature. It could be meditation, coffee with a friend, a good workout or a glass a wine and a good book.

Here is the medicinal quality of all of these items. They will affect our emotional state. They will infuse our spirit with hope, joy and lots of other positive emotions. They will force us to live in and learn to love the moment. This will help reduce stress and all of the not so pleasant side-effects that comes with. Being happier, healthier and less stress can also help heal our relationships with others. Why is that important? The worst emotion to feel at a funeral is not loss, it is regret. Knowing you should have said or done something differently. Knowing you could have acted better. What would be worse is if the funeral was your own and you wasted a good portion of your life sick, stressed and overwhelmed. Use your hidden medicines today before it is too late. Again, if you would like to add more please share in the comments below.

THE GIFTS YOU GIVE YOURSELF

Who does not like to receive gifts? I know I do. Just the other day, Margie got me this amazing book. It made me quite happy. Even thinking of it as I write this has put a smile on my face. Not everyone is lucky enough to have an amazing lady in their life like I have. You cannot always depend on people giving you gifts every day. That is unless they are the Amazon driver.

There are two amazing gifts that you can give to yourself daily that will not only make you happy, but unlike Amazon, they will actually add to your life! We are going to tackle these gifts one at a time. A little word of caution. Do not underestimate the power of these gifts. You may look at them and think, “Oh that’s cute.” Perhaps you might even think they sound a little cliche. I can promise you that if you make giving yourself these two gifts a habit, you will add so much peace and joy to your life it will seem like magic. As an added bonus, you will also reduce many of the negative stressors in your life as well. Like…well…stress. You will worry less. You will experience less anger. Are you ready to go shopping? I have great news! You do not have to go to a store. You do not have to go to a website. You do not even have to spend any money for these gifts. Perhaps that is why so many fail to see their value. You will be one of the few that do!

I can see some of you rolling your eyes at this one. “Another post about gratitude?” Yep! More than anything else in my life, gratitude has been so transformative. If you make it a focus and daily practice, the power it has to positively impact your life can seem like magic. Let us throw a little science in the mix. You think, on average, 60,000 thoughts a day. Some a little more. Some, it would appear, a lot less. 80% of those thoughts are negative. 90% are the same thoughts you had the day before. It is crazy how the human brain works. Here is how to change all of that. Begin by thinking with purpose and thinking with gratitude. I threw a lot of numbers at you but here is the important one. You can only think 1 thought at a time. Therefore, when you are thinking about what you are grateful for, you cannot be thinking about what you are worried about. When you are grateful, you cannot be angry at that very second. You can see where this is going. Less anger, less worry and more gratitude. Just think how that may affect your life.

When I mention the gift of forgiveness, people stop and say, “I thought you said this was about giving yourself gifts? Forgiveness is something you give to others?” This may seem so on the surface, but it really is the gift you give yourself. Forgiveness does mend relationships and that certainly helps. Before we get to far ahead of ourselves let us clear one thing up right away. Some people may think forgiveness is excusing the words or actions of another. It is not. What it is doing is preventing those very words and actions from hurting you over and over again. That is what happens when you keep hurt and anger inside yourself. Have you ever watched someone tell you a story about something they will not forgive? They often get upset just telling you about. Their blood pressure rises, their cortisol and adrenaline spike. Meanwhile, the person who did this to them is enjoying a latte and reading a book down the street without a care in the world.

There is a million reasons why people do hurtful and mean things. We can’t pretend to know everyone’s story. Truth is, it really doesn’t matter. Look at the quote from Buddha. We are only hurting ourselves. This is even trickier when the person that we are so upset with and cannot forgive looks back at us in the mirror. We hurt someone and never got the chance to apologize. We did something foolish. We self-sabotage. There are a million crazy reasons we get upset with ourselves. What do emotions like regret and guilt do? They can quite literally drive us to an early grave. It certainly does not change the past. It only steals joy from the present. That does not to much to help the future either. Just like when we are upset with someone else, hanging on to that pain only serves to hurt us over and over again. Do yourself a favor and let it go. Not for them. For your peace.

Can you see how focusing on these two gifts can radically transform your life? Imagine taking just a few moments of your day to pause in reflection on gratitude and forgiveness. How would that improve your life? I would love to hear your answers.

YOUR WEEKLY SILLY REMINDER 😜

Just your weekly reminder to do something silly and fun. It will not only make you laugh and feel good, it will help prevent burnout and cognitive decline. It is equivalent to letting off some steam so the engine inside of your brain won’t blow up.

I would love to hear what fun and silly thing you do to help you reduce the stress of the week. Remember, do not wait until the weekend. Throw a little something silly during the week as well!

DON’T FORGET TO BE SILLY 😋

We have been doing a great job at looking at what many of the readers of this blog find to be a fulfilling life. We will get back to that and look at some more amazing answers very soon. As the week starts and the pressures begin, I wanted to look at something that may get overlooked or pushed to the back burner. That is what the quote above says. Make sure you do something silly and fun that serves no other purpose than make you happy.

A lot of what gets in the way of this is the guilt people feel when it comes to spending any time in non-productive activities. As important as self-discipline is, it is equally as important to balance that with some fun and relaxation. One of the great ways to do this is to include people in your life who embody this trait. In my own life, I have been blessed with a lovely lady who is the poster child for silly. She is always a great reminder to spend some time on silly fun. It lowers blood pressure, increases feel good hormones in the body and reduces stress.

For those who still feel a little guilty, remember that all of this increases creativity. When you are constantly working hard, you can wind up burnt out. It is so important to let off a little steam and do something that puts a smile on your face. It could be singing and dancing to your favorite song. It could be walking in nature and taking time to look at the birds, trees and listen to the wind. It could be listening to some jokes on your phone or computer. Whatever works for you. Just remember to include moments of this throughout your day.

A GREAT INVESTMENT 👍

It is a new year, and time to start some new habits. One of yours maybe to invest more. When we think of investing we often think of stocks, bonds and other financial terms. The best investment you can make is none of these. The best investment you can make is in you! Without strong mental, physical and emotional health, none of the material stuff matters.

Take a look at some of the possible investments listed above. Most of them are things we indulge in if we have time. This year – make time. The stronger foundation we build, the more we can accomplish and bring to the world. Investing in yourself will pay off in bringing a better version to those you love.

Which one of the investments above sound best to you? Let us know in the comments below.

WE CANNOT CONTROL THINGS 😳

During a conversation with my boss about a supervisor we have had for 2 years, but has never actually set foot in the building (this is something that could only happen at the Post Office) she exploded with emotion. Yelling about how much the situation is stressing her out and how much it upsets her. I explained the quote above. Far too many of us have the same reaction to many things in life that are beyond our control. As I watched her get angry and yell, I couldn’t help but think of what this was doing to her physically. When we put ourselves into constant states of stress, the physical outcome can be nothing short of lethal. Everything from an upset stomach to a heart attack.

Many of you might be tempted to say that the situation was actually to blame. That is not so. Our emotions are one of the things that we can control. This is something that most of us are never taught. We assume it is just an action/reaction world. Yes, it is a lot easier to be happy after winning the lottery than when you discover that you accidentally took two laxatives instead of allergy medicine, but we still have a great deal of control over our reactions. Our mind, where our emotions actually come from, is a muscle to be exercised. Like starting to exercise any muscle, it will be difficult at first, but will get easier the more we try.

Why bother with all this effort to train our emotions? For starters, not having a heart attack would be a good thing. You may be saying to yourself, “That could never happen to me!” The number one risk factor for a heart attack is high blood pressure. It is called the silent killer because it has no symptoms. Guess what raises your blood pressure? Stress! One of the greatest ways we can reduce our stress is through gaining control over our emotions. There are many ways in which this can be done. One of my favorites is to change what things mean. Bullying, at both the adult and child level, is a huge problem since Covid and getting worse. We can let the emotional, verbal attacks really stress us out, or we can understand that these are really people who are usually suffering from a poor self-esteem themselves. Nobody who is completely happy with themselves will attack another.

Another way is to change our perception about the event. When we are constantly in reaction mode, we become slaves to our emotions. They control us instead of the other way around. Are you really going to be anger’s slave? In addition to being a slave to the emotion, you are letting the person or event that caused your reaction control you and your emotional well-being. Nobody deserves to have that power other than you! That person who insulted you might have made you angry. That person who broke your heart may have made you sad. That is understandable. To stay in that emotional state is to let them continue to hurt you over and over again. You deserve better.

Lastly, you can mine your emotions. What I mean by that is to find the lesson in why you find yourself reacting and feeling that way. Is it telling you something about yourself? Is it telling you something about the people you have in your life or the situations you put yourself in? These are all things that we have some control over. Let your emotions give you the gift of improving your life. Stop being victim to them and put them to work for you. It will save you stress. It may even save your life!

DON’T WAIT! 😳

How true this photo is. I’ve been guilty of this myself more than I care to admit. Especially this time of year. The holidays are over, it is cold and dreary out and I’m just wishing for sun, warmth and fun. Still, there is plenty of joy to miss if you are just wishing and waiting.

There are moments my mom and I get together at a warm coffee shop for some great conversation. Of course there is more snuggling with the love of my life. There is a lot to be grateful for. The struggles of life make the rewards that much sweeter. Imagine if your whole life was just sitting on the beach enjoying the sound of the waves. Go ahead, Imagine it. I do several times a day. After a while you might take that for granted. One day of going to work with a windchill of -12° and you will be right back appreciating it.

For this very reason, we soups also appreciate the things we are trying to ‘make it through’ to get to the good stuff. They are what make the good stuff… well… good. We spend 80% of our lives on the journey and 20% at the destination. Why throw away 80% to get to the 20%? Especially when it is the journey that makes the destination so exciting to get to.

Starting now, keep looking forward to 5pm, look forward to the weekend and whatever else you are working towards. At the same time, be grateful for the journey that makes it worth while. Don’t forget to notice all the joy contained in that as well. Hopefully, I’ll see you on the beach soon!