IT DOESN’T JUST HAPPEN

Sometime in our life we went from being the adventure seeking young child, to the adult waiting for life to happen to us.  A view that also affects our view of happiness. I was told the other day that someone was “Never happy, but it’s not their fault because nothing ‘happy’ ever happens to them”.  Here is when a slight change in perception can make all the difference.  Going back to that adventurous toddler, when we are young, we seek out happiness, we don’t just sit in our cribs and wait for it to ‘happen to us’ much to the chagrin of our parents.  When we grow older, however, lots of us just sit in the house and watch tv waiting for something happy to happen.  Here is when a good definition of what happy means to you would certainly help.  While enjoying a cup of coffee at the local Starbucks with a group of friends the other day, I asked them what would make them happy. There were two very different kinds of happiness expressed.  There was what I shall call ‘high excitement’ happiness. The “brand new sports car” “winning the lottery” “night in Vegas” to the ‘low excitement’ variety, “having the dishes done” “a good book and a bottle of wine” “a nice long walk in the woods with my dog”.  Although these answers are very different, they both work for the people who said them. So I asked, why are you not working toward saving for that trip to Vegas? How about working with you spouse to schedule some time alone for a book and a glass of wine.  Sometimes we forget a little pursuing on our behalf, and a change in perspective can make all the difference. Plus, let’s be honest, we all deserve it! Have an amazing day my friends!

FRIENDS…WITH BENEFITS…

To add to the list of great and quite often unexpected benefits of doing our best to live a positive rewarding life is often the things that seem to just show up in your life.  Now of course there is some science as to how this happens.  When you are focusing on the positive, quite often the things that are most positive seem to attract your attention.  Perhaps you suddenly notice a beautiful garden you drive by every day on your way to work.  Perhaps it is a beautiful painting that hangs in your favorite coffee shop.  All these ‘fringe benefits’ continue to add joy to your life, but no area I think has been greater effected then that of the people in it.  This was made very clear to me this afternoon as I shared a cup of coffee with someone for the first time.  As we shared stories of each others lives and she gave me amazing ideas for my upcoming book, I was overwhelmed with how grateful I was to have such a wonderful person enter my life.  So later as I was going over my notes from our discussion and working on the next chapter I reflected on how we came to know each other, and how I may discover more hidden gems in the vast sea of humanity.  Well, here is how we met, and how living a positive life had a key role in that.  One of the most important things you can do to assist you in keeping a positive attitude is to surround yourself with people who are positive.  Now we may not get to choose our family, or our co-workers, but we can choose who we talk to and who we become friends with.  As i mentioned earlier, once you’re focusing on the positive it seems to stand out everywhere.  I couldn’t help but notice this young lady every time I bought a cup of coffee where she worked.  She always had a smile and a kind word for everyone she helped.  One of those people you just can’t help but smile after sharing a moment with them.  So naturally when I began working on my book about living a positive life, she came to mind as someone who might have some great insight.  I asked her if we could share a cup of coffee and perhaps I could ask her about her source of happiness and how she shares it with others. After having the chance to do just that, I not only gained a great insight in ways to become and remain positive, I also gained a dear friend.  Upon reflection, since I began this journey in earnest about a year ago, I have noticed without much effort on my part, negative people have seemed to naturally fade from my life and I am continually introduced and surrounded by more and more positive people.  Just another pleasant ‘side effect’ to look forward to as we make our way to a more positive and rewarding life!