Tag: self-worth

JUST BLOOM 🌻

I love this quote! People so worried about how we look in comparison to others, they forget how their uniqueness is what makes them beautiful. Think of the flowers. They all look different. Some are green, some red or some blue. Some people prefer one over another. It doesn’t reflect on the flower, just the feeling of the observer. Often the most beautiful bouquets are the ones made of a mix of different flowers.

Can you imagine if a daisy was sad because it didn’t look like a rose? It sounds silly, but that is exactly what we do when we compare ourselves to others. Just work on blooming and becoming the best version of ourselves. Shine in all of our unique goodness. That is what will make us amazing. Today remember that being authentically you makes you the most beautiful part of the bouquet!

WHAT IS YOUR WORTH?

We are all like this bar of iron. We have so much potential inside of us. What we do with that potential goes a long way to determine our worth. This is why it is so important to do what feeds your soul. You may not be lucky enough to do it for a living, but you can even pursue it on the side as a hobby. What you create and bring to the world will be amazing. When people live with passion, everyone in the world benefits.

Perhaps, like myself, you are in a job that does not make the best use of your talents. What you should do is find a way to put those talents on display. It may cost you some recreation time, and maybe even a little sleep. Let me assure you that the sleep you will get will be far better knowing that you allowed the gift inside you to see the light. It will not only bring you more inner peace, but may also lead to a new, more fulfilling career.

Another thing to be careful of is letting others determine your worth. Some may look at you and believe that you are that bar of iron. Not worth much. Try to limit your exposure to these people. Some can see the horse shoes or even the watch springs inside of you. Meaning, they can see how amazing you are even if you are not there yet. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and see the best in you. That belief may help you push yourself to be the best version of you that you can be.

WHICH IS WORTH MORE? 💰

Today, we are going to discuss a very important subject – worth. In the world we live in, the value of certain things has slowly become eroded. If I were to ask you about the two objects in the photo above, which would you say is worth more, the diamond or the bottle of water? If you are a rational person, I would think you would choose the diamond. After all, with a diamond like that, you could buy many bottles of water. This is not the entire story.

It is our current situation that determines the value we place on certain things. If you were alone in the desert and someone offered you a diamond or a bottle of water, I am guessing you would choose the water. In the desert, you could die of thirst before you find someone to exchange your diamond for a bottle of water. If you had a diamond and you were dying of thirst in the desert, you would gladly exchange it for a bottle of water. In the desert, the diamond would be of little, to no use. The water bottle, however, could save your life.

Here is today’s point, the same is true with people. The value of individual life is nothing short of a sacred thing. Each one of us is valuable in our own way. Many people may appear more like a diamond, but their value is limited to a certain situation. Perhaps you find your boss a clueless and micromanaging fool. Yet, that person may be the most caring parent or grandparent. The server who provided terrible service to you at dinner last night? They might be the caring friend who is providing a lifeline to someone who is barely holding on. We do not always see the value of someone. That does not mean they do not have value. The same is true for us. Just because someone does not see your value does not mean you are not valuable.

In today’s crazy world, let us all remember that each one of us is extremely valuable. Someone’s inability to see your worth does not diminish it. The same holds true for others. Our inability to see the value in another person may just be that, our inability. We can’t see our boss at home with their grandchildren. We can’t hear that rude server offering words of hope and encouragement to their friend. As we go through life, let us understand each one of us, even those we cannot see, have a great amount of value. Let us all treat each other with that in mind.

BLOOM ANYWAY! 🌸

Here is a subject that we have talked about before on this site, but I was reminded that many of us still have not got the message. There are so many of us that are lack the bravery to share their true self with the world because they base their value on the opinions of others. That is why I liked the quote above so much. If we think of ourselves as that flower, how sad would it be if we could only bloom if someone else watered us? Many are still like this. That is why we need to both encourage ourselves, as well as be aware of all the good we bring to the world. You are a rockstar no matter how large the audience is or is not.

The only thing that saddens me more is someone who lets others determine their worth. If you asked someone directly, “Would you let anyone tell you how much you are worth?” Most of us would answer a resounding “No!” Yet, this happens all too often. Recently, I heard of a woman who even said she felt like ending her life because a man she was recently dating was mad at her. You may be thinking what some dramatic teenager has to do with your life. Here is a surprise, that woman was in her 70s. She had not learned to value herself enough that the opinions of others do not define her.

This is not to say you should not care how you effect others. If what you do hurts someone, you should recognize that and work on becoming a better version of yourself. We should be on a journey of becoming the best version of ourselves. When we are, if others do not value us, we know that our life still has value. I am here to tell you that every life has value. We can all make a difference and all have our own unique gifts to bring to the world. Do not let anyone convince you of anything less.

THE GREATEST GIFT 🎁

Here we are at Monday again. The start of a new week and lots to accomplish. While we have a lot of projects to work on, we must not forget the greatest project we should devote our life to, that being the improvement of ourselves. Many people may consider this a selfish venture, and in some way I guess that could be correct. After all, if you are in better physical shape, you can do this easier with less pain. You improve your financial outlook and you have a lot less stress. Speaking of stress, that is one area we really benefit by getting under control. Almost every malady in our life is brought on by one stress or another.

All of the above is true, but we must remember something else. Those around us benefit greatly when we become the best versions of ourselves. If you are fit and healthy, you can imagine that would be a benefit to your spouse. It would also benefit your employer and coworkers as you will call in sick less often. If you are manage to get your stress under control you are more likely to treat those around you with a great deal of compassion. The importance of this cannot be overstated. If the world was under less stress and everyone treated each other with a greater deal of compassion and understanding, can you imagine what that would be like? This may sound like a fairytale to many of you, but the interesting point is that it is entirely possible. There are two very important things we can do to help this become a reality.

The first thing we can do is get to work on ourselves. Becoming the best version of yourself is a lifelong commitment. There is always more to learn. We can and must continue to work on being healthy. If we wish to have a better world, one of the most important things we can do is make sure we are bringing a better person to it. We will bring joy and improvement to three different areas. We will be helping ourselves, others and the world around us. Not bad for one action. Next time you think placing time and effort on improving yourself is a selfish action, this might be something to remember.

The other thing that we can do to help bring about a better world, is to help others become the best version of themselves. It is VITAL to mention here this does not mean telling others what you think they should do better. It is being a supportive and encouraging friend to whatever self-improvement action they are working on. Knowing that we have the support of others can help us with any goal we are working on and give us the strength to improve that area of our lives.

If you wish to give a gift to yourself, those you share life with as well as the world at large, just work on becoming the best version of you. This does not only have to include effort we put forth, but making sure we take time for self-care and stress relief. It may seem cruel to say ‘no’ when someone asks you to do something, but if it will cause you a great deal of stress, or you are feeling like you need some time to heal, it would be far better to take that time. Become the best version of yourself and help others who are struggling to do the same. It is the best thing we can do to create an amazing world.

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WHAT A WATER BOTTLE CAN TEACH US ABOUT LIFE

Inspiration for my writing can come from anywhere at any time. Recently, it came from a story about a bottle of water. That’s right, a bottle of water. What can a simple bottle of water teach us about life and how to live it better? You would be surprised. Let us look at the story that inspired this post and then discuss how to apply it a little bit after.

A bottle of water in the supermarket is worth about $.50. That same bottle at a bar costs around $2. In a good restaurant or hotel it can be worth about $3. If you were at a concert, outdoor festival or airport you could pay up to $5! The bottle and brand is the same, the only thing that changes is the place. Each place gives a different value to the same product.

What does the fact that they charge you way to much for bottles of water at concerts and at the airport teach us about life? It teaches us that worth is not a fixed value. This is more important when it comes to ourselves than purified water in a plastic bottle. If you have a lot of moments of feeling worthless and have people around you who belittle you, it may very well be time to change places! Just like our bottle of water, do not stay where you are viewed at $.50, find that airport or outdoor concert. You are a $5.00 bottle of water. Find that place where you are valued. Seek out those smart and astute individuals who see the brilliant gifts you bring to the table.

I suggest keeping a bottle of water nearby to remind you of this principle. If you hear from someone who does not see your value, take a sip and remind yourself that you are a $5.00 bottle of water! Plus, staying hydrated is always a healthy thing to do! Share your world with those who find you refreshing.

GIVE TIME TO HEAL

Read the symptoms above. Now consider what the opposite may be. When we are with people they can seem to exhibit many of these symptoms. To us it may seem as if they come out of nowhere. Yet, we are not always aware of someone’s complete life story or the trauma they may have encountered. In many cases, as we looked at last post, they may still be going through it.

It can be frustrating to compliment someone on their inner or outer beauty and yet they are unable to see and certainly appreciate it due to circumstances they have been through. It can be difficult doing our best to get to know someone and yet they are unable to let us in. We can be confused and at a total loss when we watch one of our successful friends walk around in a state of depression because they are unable to feel like they are enough.

The key word in all of these is unable. If were up to them, they would love to feel beautiful. They would love to trust us and they would love to feel like they are enough. We may not have the knowledge or ability to help them on their healing journey, but we do have the power of patience, love and understanding. Being compassionate with our fellow humans can often being a tricky business. Losing our patience, however, can only add to their pain and delay their healing. We may not be able to heal the cause of their pain but we can show them through our words and actions that they are loved. Most importantly, let us give each other the space and time it takes to heal. 

NEVER STOP


Here is something that takes strength to do, but can transform your life! Not being a bad person because of bad people. This is again a reminder that is is crucial that we be selective with who we surround ourselves with. It is a lot easier to not have to guard against the effect of bad people when there are no bad people around. Of course inevitably we will come across that one individual that may be so unhappy with themselves and their own life that they wish to spread that feeling to others.

You know the type, you hold the door for them to be kind and helpful and they take it as an insult that they can’t do it themselves. I have actually witnessed someone at a coffee shop screaming at the employee because they thought their coffee was 3 degrees to hot. I am not sure if they carried a thermometer in their pocket or had some super power that allowed their tongue to take accurate temperature readings to 3 degrees, but either way is that worth treating someone so harshly? I think not. I am just generally happy there is coffee that someone else made for me.
The sad part is when you hear the employee utter something about how terrible working with the public is. It is true there are a lot of sunshine-challenged people in this world, but let us not let them hold more weight than the amazing people we meet everyday. In the case of holding the door, I have been tempted to let the door shut on my ungrateful worldly neighbor at times. What would this accomplish? Adding another unpleasant person to the world is not what is needed in that situation.
I know it can be difficult to maintain a smile when it seems the world is doing its best to wipe it off your face. I do my best to remember if I respond in kind to their unpleasant treatment of me, or worse allow it to bring down my positivity, than I am letting their negativity win. That will not only prove them right in their negative thinking, thus reinforcing it, but also bring down our emotional well-being as well. Considering a negative emotional state can lead to a suppressed immune system as well as heart and digestive issues is this really worth while? Let us be a ray of light to their darkness. Never let anyone take that away from you.

THE REAL PRIZE

It

It is both the end of the week and the end of the month. Hopefully we have accomplished some goals and are on our way towards others. One goal that should be perpetually on our list is to love ourselves. Yes, I realize that sounds a little new age for some, but it does not make it any less essential. Liking, or more accurately loving, yourself is one of the most important life challenges.

Let us begin by looking at why loving yourself is so important. After all, if we know why something is important we are far more likely to be on board with it. So, why is loving yourself so important? We can discover this be looking at what happens when we are not happy with ourselves. When we are not happy with ourselves one of two things usually happen. We can begin to treat others harshly. When your spirit is not filled with joy little irritations become big. Our patience with others can wear thin with others. Have you ever made a mistake and been so upset with yourself and then find yourself yelling at others? Maybe even the person we have hurt. After all, we can’t really yell at ourselves can we? Oh yes we can!

That leads us to the second possibility. We spend hours, sometimes the entire day, engaged in negative self-talk. This not only further diminishes our mood and opinion of ourselves, it disempowers us. We turn down opportunities. We resist trying new things. Those things we do try we approach with a sense thought of failure before we even begin. A prolonged streak of this can lead to physical ills as well as a sense of hopelessness and maybe even suicidal thoughts.

How do we begin to think higher about the person in the mirror? There are several options. We are going to highlight a few right here, but I encourage you to further explore other self-appreciation techniques on your own. The first is to recite a daily affirmation twice a day, once in the morning and once right before retiring. Your morning affirmation could sound something like this – today I am going to do the best I can. I may stumble and fall, but I will get back up and continue to give the best I can. Your evening affirmation can sound similar – today I did the best I can. I did not succeed at everything but I gave it my all and tomorrow I will try again. The secret to affirmations is to say them with emotion and conviction. That is why I like the proceeding affirmations. They do not say you are going to be perfect. They just say you will do the best you can.

One of the main reasons people get down on themselves is they fail to live up to their own standards. When you fail with what someone else expects of you that is one thing, but when you do something that goes against the very nature of who you are, that is a different kind of pain all together. When we fail ourselves in this regard it is important to remember to be forgiving to ourselves but do so in away that reaffirms our commitment to what it was we failed at. “I know I said some not so nice things about people today and that is not who I am. From this moment on I am committed to do better at only empowering others.” You do not deny your failure, but you also do not beat yourself up over it.

Finally, record your wins. Many people discount the good they do and exaggerate their failures. Did you hold the door for a stranger? Did you ask someone how they were doing and really listened to their answer? Write that down. They all do not have to be big wins, although you certainly want to record them as well. When you let yourself down, take a look at your list. You may even want to say to yourself, or even out loud, “I sure messed up today, but I have done some really great things as well.” None of us are perfect human beings. Holding ourselves to a high standard can be a good thing as long as we remember to include a dose of humility and forgiveness as well.

FREE YOURSELF

I love this quote, but more to the point I like the thought behind it. Too many of us focus on and dwell on the hurt that has been done to us in the past. Here is a shocking bit of news for you – the only person you are continuing to hurt is yourself. By reliving the pain and hurt you experienced, you are simply choosing to experience that pain and hurt all over again. The ironic thing is that the only person to blame this time is you. I know you might be saying, “But Neil if they wouldn’t have hurt me in the first place I would have nothing to relive.” That may be true, but they have moved on and it would serve you to do the same.

Will Smith said it best when he remarked “fault and responsibility are not linked.” It may be their fault that they hurt you but it is your responsibility to not only move on from that hurt, but better yet, put that pain to work for you and stop letting it hold you back. Still stewing over what your ex did to you years ago? How do you think that will affect your current relationships? If we were to put what you are doing into words it would sound something like this, “I am not only going to feel this pain and heartache every day, but I am going to let that pain screw up my current and future relationships.” Doesn’t sound very sensible does it?

In the above quote Nelson Mandela was speaking about a government who had kept him in jail for 25 years based on the color of his skin. Was that his fault? Of course not. Was that fair or right? Absolutely not. If he focused on that anger and bitterness when he was freed who would suffer? Not those who jailed him. It would be himself that would feel anger and bitterness in his heart. It would be him that would eventually fall victim to physical ailments due to those emotions. As he said if he did not let those emotions go he would not be free.

I am not advocating letting people walk all over you. Far from it. Be cautious against those who have hurt you, but do not relive the pain. It does not affect them and it can only hurt you. Remember fault and responsibility are not linked. It sucks, but it is true. Free yourself from your hate, sadness, bitterness and anger. Enjoy the freedom you deserve.