Almost all of us know the cliche “the struggle is real.” I think all of us have struggled, or are struggling currently with at least one thing in our lives. That says that all of us will suffer and will continue to do so, to greater or lesser degrees, for the rest of our lives. Not very optimistic sounding, but certainly true.
How come some people seem to float through one struggle after another, while others are paralyzed? It is preparation and mindset. Our mindset, or attitude, about life has a greater impact than anything else. I heard a song lyric today that said, “You say the struggle is real. I say the struggle reveals. ” What does struggle reveal about you? Are you preparing your mind for the struggles that are coming?
That brings us to the next obvious question, “How can we prepare our mind for struggle?” Les Brown, when asked why he didn’t give up when he was diagnosed with cancer said, “I just decided cancer wasn’t going to beat me.” That is a powerful mindset. I determine to find the gift and lesson in every struggle. It is like saying to the challenge life has thrown at me, “You tried to destroy me, but I used you to help me grow.” In short, it is like giving a middle finger to struggle, but far more productive.
It is time for you to think how you handle struggle. None of them are easy. All of them suck. We have the choice to decide if the storms of life will use us, or if we can find a way to use them. PLEASE share any ideas you have for not letting struggle get you down. I think we could all benefit by working together on this subject .
What can your garden possibly reveal about your life? A lot. For those of you that are like me and have a thumb that tends to be a little more brown than green, fear not, it is more than your garden. If you have a garden, or just a yard around your house would you want it to look good and be doing well? I think most of us, especially those that read this blog, would answer in the affirmative. If, for some reason, your garden is not looking so good what would you do? Would you give up and just let it go? Would you spend extra time pulling up weeds and watering it? Would you call someone who knows better than you? In my case that would be my good soul friend Shannon. Maybe you would read up and study the different plants.
These may all seem like logical answers, but how you treat your garden has a lot to do with how other aspects of you life will turn out as well. What would you do if your relationship was not looking so good? Would you just let it run its course? Would you perhaps leave and go to a different relationship? That is like tilling a new field with the same gardening skills. You are likely to get the same result. Would you get in there and start working on pulling weeds (addressing problems) and watering (adding love wherever you can)? Would you read a book that can tell you more about how to have a successful relationship? Would you call a friend who has a great relationship?
You may think that this isn’t so. You may think you can put forth great effort in one area, such as a relationship, but slack off at your job. You may think that being a great father or mother and a great husband or wife take two separate traits. That is not really so. Consistent action, admitting to ourselves and others that we do not know everything and seeking the wise counsel of others, whether that be in person or through some other medium. Develop successful habits in one area and it will be a lot easier to do in others. The danger here is that it is a double edge sword. Develop lazy and unproductive habits and they will carry over to other aspects of your life, no matter how hard you try.
As Aristotle said, we are what we repeatedly do. What do you repeatedly do everyday? Is it successful habits? Are there areas which you could improve? If you are human, I would imagine the answer to the second question is a resounding “Yes!” This is good news, because it means there is room for both you and your life to get even better than it is now!
Here is a suggestion that I found worked in my own life. Start by putting habits in place in areas you are confident in first. If you are looking to be more self-disciplined, would it be easier to keep to a schedule at the gym, or getting up without hitting the snooze button? Start there and develop the habit. Once you have discipline in the area of life you are confident in, it will be easier to apply it to other areas of your life. Also, be on the look out for areas in which you are starting to develop bad habits. Are you slipping at the gym? Are you showing up for work late? It will only be a matter of time before this starts affecting other areas of your life. Make sure you address them as soon as you can.
This is a notification that I received a few days ago. At the time you are reading this, I believe we will be up to 103 days in a row. That is 103 days where I have written something to share with you, my wonderful reader and friend. I can say that because we are kindred spirits. You are reading posts on a site about living an amazing life. You are eager to learn tools and strategies that can improve the quality of your life. That is what I did over 20 years ago. That has allowed me to write over 1700 blog post, 3 books, and to date, 7 podcast episodes(found at living the dream with Neil Panosian) along with over 100 YouTube videos. (found at the channel ‘Neil Panosian’).
By doing this, I have reached people in over 187 countries. This is a feat that I could not imagine when I sat down at my computer to begin this blog in 2012. My books have been sold and read in multiple countries. There are still goals to reach, such as my good friends in Greenland, but every post helps me reach even more. In these 100 days of posting I believe I added a few new countries to those who have read my writing. More importantly, it has allowed me to share what I have both learned from others and discovered on my own to make our lives and the world at large a far more positive place.
That is the key to success – consistent action. It is like the old adage about chopping down a tree, was it the last swing of the axe that felled the tree or all of those swings before it? The answer is ‘yes’. It is both that final swing, as well as all of the ones that proceeded it. We may not think we are getting very far or making a great deal of progress as we begin. It may be hard to even see the result in our heads. Think of the tree metaphor. Could the tree have been chopped down if we skipped the first few deflating swings and went straight to the final swing? Most of you will realize what a foolish question this is. We could not even have the final swing if it were not for the many that proceeded it, including the first few that seemed like we were getting nowhere.
This same situation is true for any goal you are chasing in your life. At first it may not seem like you are getting anywhere. If you keep up with consistent action, you will look up one day to find that your goal is in sight! You will smile thinking of all the work you put in to get where you are today. You will be proud of yourself for not quitting when it looked as if you may never reach the destination you had set for yourself.
I would like to mention I am in no way promoting chopping down trees and to reassure everyone, no trees were harmed in the writing of this post.
This is not a post about breaking up with a lover. It is not a post about quitting your job or any other act of finality. It is about an act that we all do at least once, sometimes several times a day. Changing how we end this act can have a very positive impact on our life and those we share it with. Today we will be learning how to end this act so that both parties leave with a smile and a desire to get together again. Doesn’t this sound like something that could be useful in your own life? This ending we are speaking about is the end of a conversation.
This is something we often give little or no thought to. Most of the time, we just let conversations end themselves. Here is a somewhat morbid, but never-the-less true statement. At some point, the conversation you are going to have with someone will be the last. What would you say and how would you like them to feel if that were the case? It might not be this week, it might not be today, but then again…it might be. That is part of the craziness of the world; we never know.
While you are keeping that sobering thought in mind, I encourage you to ask yourself a question as well. This may seem like a lot of work, but stick with me. Not only will this pay off with both better conversations as well as better relationships. Ask yourself, “How do I want this person to feel when they leave me?” Have you ever encountered people who after you are done talking with them you want to take a shower to wash off the negativity? I have. Have you also left someone and just felt inspired and like their company was a real breath of fresh air? I think it would be safe to say we have all had our share of both of those situations. Now, think of how many times you have consciously acted to affect a conversation you are having? You have that power!
I would love to give you a personal example. The other day my mother and I met for coffee. Both of our schedules are usually pretty busy and walks or coffee are welcome escapes. They always come with great conversation. On this evening as our time together was drawing to a close, we found ourselves discussing the somewhat absurd nature of political ads. The fact that they spend great amounts of money to tell you how terrible their opponent is without actually telling you what they will do for you or any solution they may have. If you don’t believe me, feel free to check your mail or turn on the television. As with any conversation to do with politics, this started to leave us feeling drained and frustrated. The thought occurred to me, “Is this how I want us to go home feeling?” The obvious answer was “No”. I began to make a conscious effort to steer the conversation to a more inspiring and positive tone.
We all have the power to do this. Even with people that enjoy each other’s company, such as my mother and I in the example above, the conversation can take an occasional downturn. The more we make an effort to keep our conversations uplifting and encouraging, the more people will want to have them with us. That is not to say we should be ignorant or fake, but to find ways to see the positive side of even the darkest subjects we discuss. We should also make a point to end our conversations in such a way that both parties leave with joy in their hearts and a smile on their face. How do you end your conversation to make sure everyone leaves with a smile?
Hear the funny tale of why this drinking fountain scared me and the life lesson I took from it. An amusing story with a great meaning. Click on the link to hear all about it!
Listen to an inspirational story that helped me when I felt I wasn’t making a difference. It may help you realize what an important effect you have in the lives of others.
Learn the secret that almost didn’t make it into my first book! It has went on to be one of my most popular tools at seminars and book signings. Click on the link below to hear this episode.
I have heard a lot of people expressing how crazy the world seems lately. I put that word in italics for a great reason. A lot of our world is based on our perception. We have all heard the cliché ‘Perception is reality’ The reason that it is a cliché, is because there is a great deal of truth to it. The world does seem to be filled with dramatic and rapid change. The same was probably true during the industrial revolution. Also during the dark ages, when any day you could be killed if your neighbor said you were a witch. That must have been some stress to live under. I honestly believe that the amount of stress doesn’t change, just the name and form of stress.
Whatever form stress may take, there is one thing we can say about being stressed out – it sucks. Feeling overwhelmed or out of control of our own life never feels good. There are a lot of new tools to help us deal with this stress. There are meditation apps. I even saw an app where celebrities can read you bed time stories. These are great, but I believe there is a tool that has been around for centuries that can do a better job. In addition to helping us get a handle on our stress, it can do so much more. It can give us a greater sense of mental clarity. It can also give us a great insight into our thinking patterns, acting as a cheap and readily accessible therapist. That way when life is getting at you, or like our poor chap in the picture above, you get a bad phone call, you can use this tool and help avoid overwhelm and burn out.
You might think a tool that can do all of this would be expensive. You will be pleased to know you can get this tool as cheap as a couple of dollars. I wrote about this tool in my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People. I also wrote about it a total of three times on this blog in 2013. Oddly enough, we haven’t spoken about it since then. I think it is long overdue that we bring up the topic again. This amazing tool is the journal. Before you are tempted to dismiss this idea because of its simplicity, let me caution you against doing so.
I am going to share with you some of the reasons this tool is so effective. First of all, a handwritten journal forces us to slow down and record our thoughts. Second, we are…umm… well…recording our thoughts. Trying to keep all of our thoughts in our head can be equated to plugging more and more things into an outlet. Eventually, the circuit will blow. This could be a feeling of anxiety, a panic attack or a full-blown nervous breakdown. These are expensive physically, mentally and with the cost of healthcare, financially as well. The cost of a journal can be as cheap as a pen and a spiral notebook. This takes some of the load off that circuit. It also gives us a record to thoughts we have and what may trigger them. Often, when we write down how we are feeling and read it back later, we can feel a little foolish for how we may have reacted to a certain situation. It is good to have that record.
A journal can be a safe place to share our feelings, even if it is only with the paper. It can be a place of emotional release. A journal can be the cheapest therapist we can hire. Beautiful thing is, this therapist doesn’t have office hours and is always available. In order to keep life from becoming overwhelming for you, might I suggest picking up a journal and just begin recording your day. Getting things out will take the burden off of your mind and will help you from having a melt down, or just blowing a circuit. I would love to hear your stories about how journaling helped you. If you want to learn more about journaling, feel free to check out my book, A Happy Life for Busy People, available on Amazon or wherever fine books are sold. You can also go back and read the posts from 2013 or listen to the episode on my podcast at the link below. Whatever you choose, I would love your feedback!
Here we are at Monday again. The start of a new week and lots to accomplish. While we have a lot of projects to work on, we must not forget the greatest project we should devote our life to, that being the improvement of ourselves. Many people may consider this a selfish venture, and in some way I guess that could be correct. After all, if you are in better physical shape, you can do this easier with less pain. You improve your financial outlook and you have a lot less stress. Speaking of stress, that is one area we really benefit by getting under control. Almost every malady in our life is brought on by one stress or another.
All of the above is true, but we must remember something else. Those around us benefit greatly when we become the best versions of ourselves. If you are fit and healthy, you can imagine that would be a benefit to your spouse. It would also benefit your employer and coworkers as you will call in sick less often. If you are manage to get your stress under control you are more likely to treat those around you with a great deal of compassion. The importance of this cannot be overstated. If the world was under less stress and everyone treated each other with a greater deal of compassion and understanding, can you imagine what that would be like? This may sound like a fairytale to many of you, but the interesting point is that it is entirely possible. There are two very important things we can do to help this become a reality.
The first thing we can do is get to work on ourselves. Becoming the best version of yourself is a lifelong commitment. There is always more to learn. We can and must continue to work on being healthy. If we wish to have a better world, one of the most important things we can do is make sure we are bringing a better person to it. We will bring joy and improvement to three different areas. We will be helping ourselves, others and the world around us. Not bad for one action. Next time you think placing time and effort on improving yourself is a selfish action, this might be something to remember.
The other thing that we can do to help bring about a better world, is to help others become the best version of themselves. It is VITAL to mention here this does not mean telling others what you think they should do better. It is being a supportive and encouraging friend to whatever self-improvement action they are working on. Knowing that we have the support of others can help us with any goal we are working on and give us the strength to improve that area of our lives.
If you wish to give a gift to yourself, those you share life with as well as the world at large, just work on becoming the best version of you. This does not only have to include effort we put forth, but making sure we take time for self-care and stress relief. It may seem cruel to say ‘no’ when someone asks you to do something, but if it will cause you a great deal of stress, or you are feeling like you need some time to heal, it would be far better to take that time. Become the best version of yourself and help others who are struggling to do the same. It is the best thing we can do to create an amazing world.
After months of work and hype, today is the day my third book, The Beat Goes On, is released to the masses. I will be hosting a book signing event locally at Urbal Tea if any of you would like to stop down. In addition to celebrating this fun moment in time, I would like to look back at how we got here, as well as look forward to what I hope to accomplish with this book.
Let us begin by looking at how we arrived at this book. I would like to remind everyone what my English teacher told me right before I graduated high school. She looked me in the eyes and said, “I hope to God you will never have a career in writing.” In her defense, I might have said the same thing at the time. I was not the best literary student. I still define myself as the author that keeps editors employed. This does, however, remind us that we should not allow others to define our paths in life. As well-meaning as they may be, nobody knows what is best for us except our own hearts and minds. If this memory would have occurred to me before I completed my first book, the self-doubt that comes with such a task may have overwhelmed me. I was also told by one of my customers at the post office that I should not hope to sell more than 12 copies. To date, that book has sold over 500 copies in several countries.
I would also like to talk about how this latest book is different. My first two books, which also includes Living the Dream, were sharing the secrets I have both learned and discovered in my 2 decades in the self-improvement field. They are instructional, and offer great tools and strategies to help all of us to live a more rewarding and positive life. As I was using those very strategies and improving my life, it was turned upside down. I underwent open-heart surgery and had a brief flirtation with death. This experience was both frightening and enlightening at the same time. It was suggested by the love of my life, Margie, that sharing this experience would not only help others, but do a great deal to keep my sanity during the months of anxiety leading up to the procedure, as well as the frustration of healing.
This latest book is not only the story of this portion of my life, but a reaffirming of what was taught in the first two books. If it were not for everything I had learned in the 46 years leading up to that moment, I would have never been able to make it through. I had a chance to not only share what I went through and calm the fears of those who may have to go through the same procedure, but to also share what tools and strategies I used and how. It is my hope this book will not only entertain you with the stories from the hospital and my life, but convey how important and all-encompassing working on yourself and your life can be. In my case, it actually saved my life. The same might be true for you. As I say in the book, and often in life, the time to learn how to swim is on the shore, not when the boat is sinking. Be prepared for when life throws you a challenge.
In closing, just remember to never let anyone define what you can or can’t do. I think Les Brown said it best when he offered, “Someone’s opinion of you does not have to be your reality.” Read that statement whenever you are experiencing doubt because of what some well-meaning person may have said. Also, remember that sharing your story will help both those who may go through the same thing as well as your own sanity as you make it through. Mostly, I want you to know the time to work on living an amazing life and becoming an amazing person is now. Life seldom, if ever, gives us a warning before it turns upside down. If you wait until then to strengthen your health, your relationships and your inner peace, it may be too late. You can find great secrets to do so in any of my books which are all available on Amazon. Just click the link below to be taken to my author page.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 