This really is the first secret to living an amazing life. There is no way to experience true joy or happiness until you love the life you have currently. That doesn’t mean you are not working towards a better life for both you and your family. It simply means adopting an attitude of gratitude along the way.
You may not have the house you want, but you have a roof over your head. You may not have received that promotion you were hoping for, but you are still employed. Your relationship may seem difficult at times, but at least you have one to work on. Maybe you don’t have a relationship? You can use that time to work on yourself and to work out what you really want in a partner.
Developing an attitude of gratitude truly is a secret to an amazing life. Tony Robbins refers to it as “Swapping expectations for appreciation” I think that is something we could all do a little more of. I would love to know what you think.
Our mind has such great power! The trick is that power can either work for us or against us. Either way it is very strong. If you had a strong friend that followed you everywhere, wouldn’t you want to make sure they were working for you? How about your mind?
If we fill our mind with fear, worry and anxiety, it will paralyze us into a life of inactivity and darkness. If, however, we learn to put our mind to work for us, we can have everything we dreamed of.
Invest today in discovering different ways of making your mind work for You. Whether that is meditation 🧘♂️, self-discipline or any other aspect. The time and money you put in will give returns many times above.
It is important to remember not to let outside influences override or inner character. Yes, this is easier said than done. We must remember that if we respond emotionally to every person and situation, we are in effect, allowing those people and situations to control us. Are you the type of person who wants to be controlled by everything and everyone around you? That does not lend itself to an amazing life.
This week, when some less-enlightened person does something to aggravate your emotions, remember to respond from who you are and not who they are. One secret to an amazing life is not letting ourselves be controlled.
For those of you following this blog recently, you know that I have just returned from a week-long vacation to the sunny island country of Jamaica. What a fun time I had with my lovely lady, Margie. Today is my first full day back. Tomorrow I return to my day job at the Post Office. It was my first real vacation in 4 years and the first time I have taken a full week off of everything since…well…I can’t even remember when.
Ironically, when I was looking for things to write about, I came across this picture. It reminded me of something I think we could all benefit from. Stress, anxiety and overwhelm seem to be the status quo these days. Especially in “developed” countries. I put that word in quotes because we must ask ourselves what really is developed. Sure, our technology might be advanced. Does that make up for the lack of low-tech enjoyment? Our productivity might be at record levels, but what about the self-care that we all seem to sacrifice to get ahead? If our work output is developed, does that even matter when our spirit is not? It is time to change the focus.
Take the first item on this list. Humans were not meant to sit at a desk from 9 to 5. We really were not. We are meant to be physically active creatures. We were meant to move. Not only does physical exercise help reduce stress and release natural feel-good chemicals in the brain, it helps prevent and reverse many of the health conditions we all suffer from. You don’t have to slave in the gym for an hour, although I enjoy the feeling afterward. You can incorporate walks after dinner, bike rides with friends or even creating a dance routine to your favorite song when nobody is home. Moving helps us both mentally and physically.
The answer must be more relaxing right? The answer to that is both yes and no. While taking some time to unwind is something we should all invest in, how we do so becomes very important. Coming home to relax and watch a little television or a movie is not a bad thing. Bing watching for several hours every night is not healthy. Not only does it deprive us of the movement that is so valuable that we mentioned above, but it deprives us of time to accomplish things that will give us a feeling of pride and self-confidence. Again, this is not to say we should never relax with our favorite streaming service, just that we should do so with moderation. We should also mix in reading our favorite book, spending time with friends, taking a leisurely walk in nature and other relaxing options.
How about only exploring the world only 2 weeks a year? As discussed earlier, I am as guilty of this as anyone else. We need to get away and experience other cultures and people as often as we can. Not only will this broaden our knowledge of people and their circumstances, it may shed new light on our own lives. Look at this beautiful sunset picture I took over the ocean. A scene like that refreshes the soul. Talking with many of the Jamaican people, I learned that they were truly happy with a life that included a lot less than I was used to having. How did they do that? By focusing on being grateful for what they had. Seeing the poverty that many of the islands people lived in, reminded me to be grateful for all that I have. Even just hearing what is important to them and to their families allowed me to see life in a completely different light. Their friendly hospitality everywhere we went was amazing.
How about creativity? Adults seldom, if ever, spend time on creative pursuits. I believe this is for one of two reasons. First, they view such endeavors as wasted time. What does coloring a picture accomplish? I will tell you what it accomplishes. It helps save your brain from a meltdown! That is why I am happy to see the popularity of ‘adult coloring books’. Why do more people not do this? I think another reason is that adults are afraid of not doing things perfectly. If they look worse than their neighbor, they think they have failed. Not true. Picasso had people with square noses and he was considered a great success. The point is to just have fun and let lose. Keep that right side of your brain healthy. If I had to worry about being better than my neighbor, I would never do much. Margie is a very accomplished artist and can do almost any art thing better than I can. Still, I understand that we all have our own unique talents and shine in our own way. Speaking of Margie, she provides another clue to maintaining a creative outlet – surround yourself with creative people. The other night at dinner she stared at her blank placemat and exclaimed, “I need crayons!” She was serious. You need someone like that.
This plays into our last point. Not to have all your aspirations beaten out of you. In a world of online critics, this can be more difficult than ever. Remember this, someone who is truly happy with themselves will never criticize others. One of the most difficult critics to defeat is the one between your own ears. I remember when I thought about starting a blog, writing my first book, starting a YouTube channel or starting a podcast, I did my best to talk myself out of it. Luckily for me, I also had people in my life that pushed the issue. You want to write a book? Give it a shot! You want to become a fashion designer? Try putting together a few outfits. We function best when we are pursuing a dream. Never give up on yours!
Today is April Fools Day. Traditionally, people play jokes on others on this day. I’m not really a fan, but to each their own. One thing we must caution against is fooling ourselves. We do this by the way we talk to ourselves.
90 to 95% of your life is controlled by your subconscious mind. It really is a miraculous thing. It heals your wounds. It keeps your heart beating without you having to think about it. The one thing about the subconscious mind is that it can’t think for itself. For that it trusts the conscious mind. That would be your normal thinking mind.
How does your conscious mind communicate with your subconscious mind? By the words you say to yourself. Your subconscious mind accepts whatever you say to yourself as true. It then proceeds to act on that information. If what you say is mostly negative, such as “I am always so stupid.” Not only will you be more likely to make stupid decisions, you will be far more likely to notice when you do.
Keep in mind the power of your words and use them in a positive manner. Let today remind you not to make a fool out of yourself!
Last post we discussed many of the great ideas put fourth by Frederick Douglass. I could not walk away without discussing one of my favorite quotes from this great man. “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” What a powerful statement. This speaks to all of us.
Let us start with the obvious. If you are a parent, which I think is one of the most noble and difficult jobs, this certainly speaks to you. Raising a child that not only has a good education, but good morals, a healthy self-image and compassion for others will make a huge difference in the future of the world. This is accomplished, and affected by, a lot more than we think. It is not only making sure they pay attention in school, do their homework and chores. It is setting a good example in our own behavior. Children may listen to what we say, but they will certainly pay attention to what we do. If your children live in a household with an abusive relationship, what do you think they will learn about relationships? If they watch you speak condescending to certain people, how do you think they will treat others when they grow up? If you do not take care of your health and indulge in self-abusive behaviors, do you think your children will grow up to learn a healthy lifestyle?
Parents are not the only ones affecting the lives of children. We all are. It could be a teacher. The job I consider as noble as that of a parent. Both of which play a large role in the development of our youth. Again, it is not just the academic lessons you pass along as you teach, but the examples you set as a person. This holds true not just for parents and teachers, but for all of us.
You never know when children may be watching us. If you are screaming at your spouse in the parking lot, a child could be driving by in a car and see two adults acting that way. This often occurs to me when I open the door for Margie. I am hoping a young boy will be watching and learn that is how you should treat the woman you love. Not because she is not capable of opening the door for herself, but because you respect her enough to do it for her.
Our world is filled with people in rehab, going to therapy and sitting in prison. A lot of these cases are the result of early life trauma. It can take many years of struggle and pain, both emotional and physical, to overcome. It can cost all of us a good deal of money. Living in a world that is prone to violence because people did not learn basic respect for human life costs all of us peace of mind. These costs are far greater than spending the time to make sure we set the proper example for, and raise strong children.
Like I said last post, Frederick Douglass had a lot of great wisdom to share. A man who lived through the horrors of slavery shared what he endured, so that we may leave the world better for our children. To let those lessons, and all that he went through to bring them to us, go without putting them into action would be a shame. Let us all work together to build strong children so that we may not have to repair as many broken adults.
Middle of the week. How is everyone doing? Last post we discussed the importance of setting a goal and having direction in our lives. We can have the best of direction and intentions and life can throw some pretty big tests at us! That can bring many of us down. What can we do to prevent life’s tests from stealing our motivation and inspiration from us? I suggest 2 things. Definition and putting them to use. We will look at each of them so you can put them into action in your life, starting today!
The first one is definition. What exactly is a test? It is a review of how sharp a certain skill or knowledge is. In other words, it lets us know where we stand at the moment. Life’s tests are no different. When they say that someone “Tests our patience“, all it really means is they are seeing how strong our patience muscles are. Life can test our health, our fitness, our relationship and a million other aspects of our lives. It will let us know if our skills are satisfactory, need a little work or if we have no idea what we are doing. Contrary to how it may feel, none of these results is better or worse than the other. They all can be used to serve us.
This brings us to our second way in which we can prevent life’s tests from bringing us down – we can put them to work for us. Nobody likes failing a test. I still remember when I stayed up all night helping a friend with his chemistry exam. By the time we were supposed to get to mine, he had went home and I have very little cerebral energy left. The end result? My friend received a B+ on his paper, and I get the letter that follows ‘E’ in the alphabet. It felt terrible, but it did provide some valuable information. First, you should always make sure you work on your own paper before your brain is running on fumes. Second, I should have not waited until the last minute to study. It showed me that I had very little knowledge on the chemistry topic my paper was on.
There is one other way is which life’s tests can serve us. It was brought home to me from a scene in the movie Young Guns. This was a western from the 1980s. In it, some outlaws are trying to convince Billy the Kid, played by Emilio Esteves, to escape to Mexico because of the danger the law that was chasing them provided. Billy the Kid goes on to explain to them that they have to test themselves every day so they stay sharp and alert. We may not have a posse chasing us or have to look out for the quick draw of an outlaw, but our tests in life accomplish pretty much the same thing. The more we get outside of our comfort zones, the sharper our minds and skills remain. When life becomes routine and safe, we can become lazy and our skills lax. Therefore, in a unique way, we should be grateful to the tests we face in life. They are helping to keep our skills sharp and us growing and evolving.
Here we are at the start of a new week. We can already feel overwhelmed with our ‘to do lists’ and obligations for the coming days. How many of us have self-care items on our ‘to do lists’? All too often, our self-care gets pushed down to the bottom of the list. We really must understand the importance of taking care of ourselves and the benefit to others.
Look at so many other things in our life. Take our cars for example. We get their tires rotated, we change the oil. Why do we do these things? We do them so our car will be able to get us from point A to point B. How about our cell phones? We keep them charged and updated. Why? So they will run at optimal speed and we can put them to full use.
When it comes to inanimate objects, we understand that taking care of them will help them serve us better. In the case of the car, the better we maintain it, the longer it will last and the more efficient it will operate. If we keep our phone fully charged and updated it will have a better connection and speed in use.
How come when it comes to ourselves we somehow think these rules don’t apply? If, like the car, we maintain our bodies with good food and fitness, won’t we last longer and be more efficient? Like the phone, of we allow ourselves to recharge, won’t we have a better connection with the world around us, and those in it? Won’t we have more energy and be able to operate in a faster rate than if we are living off 2 hours of sleep and 3 large coffees?
This week, stop viewing self-care as something selfish. See it for what it is; a necessary step to bringing the best version of ourselves to the world at large and to those in our life we care about. Next time you get in your car, or pick up your cell phone, remember how much better they operate when we take care of them. The truth is we operate a lot better when we stop and take care of ourselves as well.
In a crazy work-a-day world, we can often lose ourselves. This weekend, I think we should not only get in touch with our true selves, but turn up the volume on all of the things that make us the amazing people we are.
How can we do that? Take some of the examples in the picture above. Turn up your magic! What does that even mean? We all have a certain magic inside us. This usually manifests as a gift we are naturally blessed with. Maybe we have a great singing voice? Then sing your heart out for all the world to hear! Maybe you enjoy creating art? Make a special gift for someone you love. Maybe you are great at cooking? Invite a friend over for dinner!
What about turning up your kindness? You could find so many ways to do this! Do you find joy in buying a coffee for the stranger behind you in line? Do that! Maybe your kindness is towards animals? Find ways to help our winged and 4-legged friends! Maybe your kindness is the ability to truly listen and allow someone to feel heard? That is such a precious gift!
How can you turn up gratitude? Look at the ideas in the pictures above and below. The more you can turn up your gratitude, the more your life will improve! That is a great bonus of gratitude. Those you express it to feel good, and so do you. It is definitely a win/win situation. For that reason alone, find as many ways to turn up the gratitude as you can this weekend!
Whatever wonderful traits make up you, I encourage you to express more of them this weekend! Remember to always be yourself. Originals are always worth more than copies.
Often a great change in the quality of our life can come from a small shift in how we look at things. What if we started to view every challenge in life as an opportunity to prove ourselves? Whenever I mention something like this, the sunshine challenged folks always mention that is just being ignorant.
Is it really? Tell me when our character is proven and strengthened? Is it when everything is going our way or when we have to battle through something? Our mistakes, our seemingly bad luck,our losses in life, all chances to prove ourselves.
In my own life I know this to be true. Right now, I’m feeling a little under the weather. My beautiful lady made me some chicken noodle soup for lunch and has been so sweet. The sickness sucks, but she is really showing how much she loves me. Even when the two of us are not seeing eye to eye, it is a great opportunity. How much respect can be gained by loving someone through disagreement? How loving is it to be the first one to apologize and work to make the situation right?
This weekend, let us look at every challenge as a chance to demonstrate and improve on our good character. After all, that is what every challenge is!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 