This is so true. Even yours truly, the man who wrote A Happy Life for Busy People and Living the Dream, has days where all my thoughts seem negative. This time of year, when the ground is covered in gray snow and ice and the sun rarely shines, my spirit can seem just as gloomy.
How do you beat those blues? First, acknowledge them. If we try to ignore negative feelings, they only seem to grow. If we observe them with an almost detached sense of reality, they seem to lose their grip. Often, I’ll talk to myself and say, “I’m feeling really bummed today. I wonder why?”
After that, I begin to shift my focus. The easiest way to do this is with gratitude. Focusing on what is working changesour focus and life completely. Reflection on positive memories and things we are looking forward to gives us a great mental vacation as well.
We all will have negative thoughts and emotions. Acknowledge them, observe them if you must, but whatever you do, don’t feed them!
Doing our best to find the good in every moment radically transforms our lives for the better. I personally know this because I have been working at it for over 2 decades. Some days and times are easier than others. The more I have practiced this, the better my life has gotten.
Heading into the weekend, I challenge you to do the same. Find all the good you can, in as many situations as you can. Just try it throughout your day. Notice how your mood shifts. The more you practice this, the more you will have an elevated mood. Put simply, you will be happy.
This may sound like a fatalistic post for uplifting Wednesdays, but it really is not. In fact, I debated titling this post “Everything is special” but decided on the one I did because it has a sense of urgency. Last week, we discussed how quickly things change and how the not so distant past can seem like a lifetime ago. Isn’t that true to some extent in your own life? I know it is in mine. Places you used to go are no longer there. Businesses you used to frequent have ceased operations. People sadly pass on. Animals become extinct.
Again,this is a little depressing, but it also provides us a sense of urgency. My friend Curtis gave me a great reminder about the power of being present. All too often we busy ourselves reliving memories and fail to pay attention to the ones we should be creating. Then, without a warning it seems, they too become memories. Consider this – each second of time is unique and will never occur again. The beautiful sunrise you are witnessing? Yes, the sun will rise again tomorrow, but it will look different than what you are seeing right now. That bouquet of flowers you received will be different than any you will get in the future.
One of the interesting things that I reflect on in life is how seemingly tragic world events change the way things are done. I recall what travel was like before September 11 of 2001. Recently, we all saw the effects Covid had on the way we socialize and do business. Life can change in an instant. Change is actually the only thing we can count on. That is why each moment is so precious. War has broken out in many places in the world and the lives of millions were upended ina heartbeat. The reverberations of that situation can be felt across the globe. Very few us could have predicted that was going to happen.
It doesn’t even have to be on a global scale. Think of all the people in your life. Above is a picture of my lovely lady and I. It was taken at my work’s holiday party. It was also a retirement party for one of my coworkers. That means it will be the last time he will be there as my coworker. Who knows if my work will have another holiday party or if this was the last one I will attend? A few years back during my open-heart surgery, it was almost the last time I spent with my lovely Margie. That story is shared in great detail in my book, The Beat Goes On, available on Amazon.
Challenges provide us great opportunity to see everything for the miracle it is. Recently, I shared the story about how my car was having trouble and my mother was giving me a ride to work. Although this proved to be far more stressful than we first thought, who knows when I will be able to share the ride and great conversation with my mother at 430am. Looking back, we had fun on my way to work. Who knows if those moments will ever happen again. I would much rather have a working vehicle, but the ride with my mom was a good memory.
Everything, and everyone, in life is fleeting. It may not seem like it, but as we discussed earlier, it can all change in an instant. Health is precious. Love is precious. So many things we can fail to appreciate until they are gone. Take a second an be present and grateful for everything in your life. Everything is a miracle. Everything is precious.
This post is a plea. Not only for those of you living in wonderful tropical places such as Fiji or Maldives, but for everyone! When you need that extra bit of motivation and inspiration, or perhaps just a friend to accompany you on the journey, take me with you. This could be on a run. It could be going with you to the gym. How about the daily commute to work? I’ll go just about anywhere!
What I’m talking about is my “Living the Dream with Neil Panosian” podcast. It is available in all of your streaming platforms. I’ll leave the Spotify link below, but you can listen free on Amazon prime,Audible or wherever you get your podcast fix.
There are 50 episodes to keep you motivated and entertained. They include portions of my books read by the author. Tools and strategies for living the dream. Even interviews with other guests. Add the “Living the Dream with Neil Panosian” podcast to your routine today!
There are many axioms that I use to help myself live an amazing life. These are the ones shared on this website, the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast, as well as my books. One of my favorites, that was featured in my second book, Living the Dream, was the power of two questions. Whenever I find myself in a challenging situation, I ask myself to empowering questions. First, I ask myself, “How can I use this?” This takes the challenge from being a liability to being an asset. If you can use a challenge in some way, than it has become a gift. The other question I ask is, “What is good about this?” This question comes second because it can often be hard to see what is good initially. After finding a way to make it work for us, it can be a little easier to find something positive in it.
These questions have served me quite well over the years. They have helped me through many of life’s challenges. We are going to introduce another question that was brought to my attention that I am going to add to my repertoire. As I was posting one of my blogs on LinkedIn (feel free to follow me at the link below) one of my connections had mentioned a question they use in their life. That question is “How can I use this to serve others?” What a beautiful thing to consider! My life’s mission is to help others become the best versions of themselves. If I could find a way to use my challenges to do just that, they would cease to become challenges at all. They would then become tools to use to serve others and the greater good.
How about you? Do you have empowering questions that you ask yourself in challenging situations? How about adding the one my connection on LinkedIn brought to my attention? Actually, using all three of the questions we mentioned here will make challenges something that you use, instead of something that uses you.
In life we all have many challenges. One of mine is the weather where I live. Especially in winter. It seems the older I get, the harder it is to deal with the cold and snow. This year, I vowed to make the best of it and try to maintain a more positive outlook. For a while, mother nature seemed on board with this. The weather was unseasonably warm, and the snow was slight. My attitude seemed to remained elevated. This was good news for my family and friends. I thought to myself, “Neil, you just might do it this year!” Then, mother nature had a wicked grin.
I leave for my day job a little after 4am Monday to Saturday. This morning I woke up to over a foot of snow. As I trudged my way to where my car was parked, I saw it also was covered in snow. Upon reached my car, I discovered it was more ice than snow. Nothing starts the day off right like spending ten minutes chipping ice off your vehicle just to climb inside. Once inside, I began to defrost the windows. Once they were clear, I headed out. Trying to focus on the fact I was grateful to have a vehicle that ran. The plow that went through left a small ridge of snow in it’s path. I had to cross it to get out of the parking lot. As I did my car erupted in a chorus of sounds. None of them were very friendly. It would appear the snow had damaged some vital part of the exhaust. This happened on a Saturday. My mechanic is not open until Monday.
Driving around with a car loud enough to wake the dead is embarrassing enough, but now the temperature, which was doing just fine, is going to drop to ten degrees below zero. This makes my loud car, should it start, quite necessary. It would appear that my resolution to maintain a positive attitude is receiving quite the test. I must remember that is what the world does. I refuse to let it get the upper hand. This is not done alone. My friend CJ jokingly reminded me that some kids are trying to make their cars louder, in essence, I just gave myself a free upgrade. My friend Kurt offered his mechanic. Of course my lovely lady and her smile will keep me warm on the inside. There are my self-improvement skills I not only teach, but practice myself, that will keep me humming along.
All of this serves to remind me that tests are a part of life. They give our resolve strength. They require us to change our focus on what we do have to be grateful for in order to make it through them. It also gives us a platform to demonstrate to others, by our example, that they too can make it through their challenges. When we embrace life’s challenges and put them to work for us, we grow. When we let them get us down, we become less of who we could be. I am going to do my best to grow from this challenge and I invite you to do the same with the challenges in your life.
I want to share with you a lesson I learned and some examples that came to my mind when I heard it. I was listening to some motivational/inspirational videos while on my way to work. This is a practice I recommend for everyone. You never know when you will either hear something new, or a reminder of something powerful you already know. This one falls into the latter category. In this particular video, the speaker referenced a quote from Jim Rohn, who I enjoy anyway. I am going to share that quote with you below.
The pain of discipline verses the pain of regret. Discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons. We can all grasp what that means to a certain point, but I wanted to give us a few real life examples to drive the point home. The first one that came to mind was eating pizza. Why? Mostly because I am always thinking of eating pizza. It is my favorite food to eat. If I could, I would probably have it seven days a week. Here is the thing. Eating pizza tastes good in the moment. It gives a quick boost of the ‘feel good chemicals’ in the brain. Putting off the urge to stuff your face with a delicious slice of sauce pie in favor of something slightly more healthy is not as fun. It takes…you guessed it, discipline. That’s a little painful. Say, ounces. If we are constantly giving in to the urge to eat pizza, or just unhealthy for that matter, we may feel good in the moment. Fast forward a year or so down the road. Our clothes have to be in a larger size. When we get out of the shower and look in the mirror, our hearts sink. We don’t feel as confident out in public. That is merely the outside. Inside, our arteries are clogging. Our heart is being forced to pump harder and our liver is working overtime dealing with the processed food. We can find ourselves depressed about how we look daily, or in the emergency room dealing with a heart issue. Then we would feel…regret over our choices. That ways a ton.
There will be actually two more quick examples. This can help us grasp this concept better and see where we are paying tons instead of ounces. Working out is another great example. Going to the gym is not fun for most people. It is stressful on the body, you get exhausted (although you actually gain energy on the back end) and you get sweaty and gross. (except for my lady who manages to look amazing after a workout) Taking time to go to the gym and spending the effort to put in a workout takes discipline. Especially when you really don’t feel like it. A life devoted to sloth and binge watching Netflix sounds more appealing on the surface. That takes very little discipline. You don’t have to pay those ounces. What happens as you grow older? Your bone density weakens and you are more likely to fracture something should you fall. It takes you far longer, and for more breath, to simply climb a flight of stairs. You must sit out times with your children and grandchildren, letting those memories slip away. You regret not keeping yourself in better shape. That weighs tons.
Our last example hits home for many of you after the holidays. Credit cards. They are super dangerous because they allow us, temporarily, to live beyond our means. “You mean I can get this thing even if I do not have the money yet?” is the thought many have. It can remove the pain of being disciplined and waiting until you earn enough for it. Those who like to skip the ounces required when it comes to paying your bills can find their credit card debt climbing. What starts to happen is the interest and late fees take up most of your payment with very little going to the actual amount owed. You look regretfully at the new pink Stanley mug, or whatever you bought. Suddenly, you find yourself pondering taking advantage of some of the bankruptcy lawyer commercials you see on television. As you can see in the picture above, that regret can feel like a ton of weight on your back.
Think of examples in your own life where you chose the weight of regret over the weight of discipline. You may feel like you are escaping in the moment, but it seldom leads to a good outcome. It reminds me of a quote by another amazing speaker, Les Brown. When people first hear this quote, they may not understand it, or dismiss it, but the examples above prove it to be quite valid.
As I write this, we are in the middle of a wicked snow storm. My lovely lady and I stopped at the store to grab a few things last night. It was packed. People were shopping like the world was ending. Another reason I would love to become a best-selling author and move to San Diego, but I digress.
A thought came to me as I watched people with their carts full of supplies. Why do we not prepare, at least with the same enthusiasm, for the storms of life? We act as if self-care, and the things that go with it, are for when we need them. In essence, we wait for the storm to arrive before we act.
Why not act like all of the crazy shoppers and prepare for the storms of life? Compose a list of songs that lift your spirits and save them in a Playlist. Have a list of movies that make you laugh. Have a collection of inspiring books.Whatever other items will help you make it through the storms of life.
Here is what I know for sure. The storms of life can come during any season and often with less warning than any extreme weather. We need to have preparations for our mind and spirit just as we have for any storm.
Many people I speak with have an outlook that puzzles me. When I tell them I am attempting some charity raising run, or obstacle course, they lol confused. Many times they ask if I am doing this on purpose. When I explain that I am working on my fourth book while working 45-50 hours a week at my day job and as a DJ on Sunday, they tell me “they could never do that.” On a rare day off, when I still go to the gym, they tell me they would be resting.
One of their arguments is that nobody could get them to do it. My response is nobody should have to, you should! They wonder why they should try to do a race, or pushtheir body physically. They believe there is no way that they will attempt anything that makes them uncomfortable. This holds true whether that uncomfortable feeling is physical or emotional. They can’t grasp why it would be a good idea to do so.
Here is why. When you do not dare to push yourself, you become shackled to your comfort zone. “That’s not so bad.” You might think. At least your comfortable, right? Let us be honest. It is a lot more comfortable to sit on the couch eating pizza and watching Netflix than to go out in the cold to the gym and grind through a workout. Guess who is going to be uncomfortable a few years from now when they are out of shape and can’t make it up the stairs without help from a sherpa?
It is not just the physical. When you are afraid to do anything that takes you out of your comfort zone, it becomes your master. This can be extremely difficult as the brain is hard-wired to seek comfort and safety. This can kill you. Not only physically as we saw above, but it can kill your spirit. Not living a life that is fulfilling is spiritual suicide.
To discover your true life’s purpose, and live a life you are in love with, will require you to step outside of your comfort zone. Let me tell you that creating this blog took me outside of my comfort zone. Writing my first book, and with Margie pushing me, promoting it, also took me out of my comfort zone. On my first podcast episode my voice was shaky and nervous. I’m sure it sounded the same the day I went from behind the bar, to behind the microphone to become a DJ.
None of these things make me nervous now, but they required me to leave my comfort zone initially. I would have never have touched all the people I have. I never would have dated the beautiful woman I am with and I never discovered the talents that were inside me. Step outside your comfort zone. As the quote says above, “Not so the world can seeyou, but so you can see the world.“
