Tag: self improvement

PLANTED 🥦 OR BURIED ⚰️?

Here are some acorns. These things are everywhere right now. My mom and I went for a 3 mile hike the other day and almost the whole trail was covered in them. They are fun and add a little extra natural beauty, but you can easily twist an ankle if you are not careful stepping on one. A thought occurred to me as we were walking along the trail. The little acorns we were stepping on, came from the mighty oak trees that we were walking under. Inside everyone one of these little acorns, was a large oak tree that could grow to drop hundreds of more acorns of its own.

I thought about the fact that each one of those acorns could grow into a tree, and there were thousands on the ground. I began to think of what has to occur to turn the acorn into the oak. What came to me was far more than a nature lesson, so please stick with me. In order for the acorn to sprout, or for any seed to do so, it has to be buried in the ground. It must be covered with dirt and water, often for months. If that acorn is never buried, it will never grow into the oak.

This reminded me so much of us as people. Inside every one of us is something waiting to sprout and grow. It may not be as big of a transformation as the acorn to the oak. Then again, it may be even bigger. When life throws a little dirt on us, we have to make a decision. Are we being buried or are we being planted? What is the difference? When you are planted, you are using that dirt as fertilizer. You are stealing the nutrients to help you grow and develop. When you are buried, you are just laying there decaying. Becoming part of the soil, if you want to stick with this analogy. What makes the difference? Our decision. Which one we will decide it will be.

The same holds true with us. When life throws a little dirt on us, we lose a job or a relationship. Maybe the loan we were counting on getting doesn’t come through. Whatever the challenge is, life is throwing a little dirt on us. We could lay there and stay buried, or we could use that dirt. Maybe develop our skills so we can get a better job, or one in our chosen field. We can work on improving our relationship skills so that we will be a better spouse. Perhaps we will be more selective and find someone better aligned with our values? When life throws some dirt on us, we should ask ourselves, am I going to be buried or am I going to be planted?

What if it seems that life has been throwing dirt on us for years and we are not growing one bit? What if we have spent years toiling away, seemingly underground, for little or no result? For that, I will leave you with this little info about the growth cycle of bamboo. Just something to ponder. Don’t give up. Never give up!

LIVE IN A LOVING WORLD 🌎

Mr. Dyer got it right here! He grew up in a rough world. He lived in an orphanage a good part of his young life. He had many challenges, but still viewed the world as a loving world. To some of the more cynical, this may sound like some positive thinking nonsense. Let us take a step back and look at what we are talking about with this quote, because it really is a good one.

Let us start from the beginning. “Loving people live in a loving world.” Does this mean that they will never face challenges? Of course not. Does this mean that everyone in their life will be loving? We all know that you cannot control others, nor should you try. What does it mean? It means that by being loving to others, they are far more likely to receive that love in return. Let us look at a logical example. I am writing in a local coffee shop, as I so often do. When I come here, I am always pleasant to the staff. Not only because that is how we should be, but because I know first hand how challenging working with the public can often be. Knowing that I always treat them with respect and kindness, how do you think they feel when they see me coming through the door? What kind of service do you think I will receive, even on a busy day? This not only holds true for people working at a coffee shop, but your friends, the Uber driver, your coworkers and anyone else you come in contact with.

Now, let us look at the second part of the quote. “Hostile people live in a hostile world.” If you are someone who is always complaining or noticing what is wrong in the world, how do you think others will treat you? Let us take the same coffee shop example. If you always complain about your drink, or treat retail help like indentured servants, how do you think they will feel when they see you walk through the door? What kind of service do you think you will receive? Nobody really wants to be around a hostile or negative person, even a hostile or negative person.

The last two words of this quote may be the most powerful, “Same world.” In every life there are things to complain about. There are circumstances that are unfair and negative. There are also moments of beauty and joy. There are random acts of kindness to notice. It is not about denying either of these, but which one we focus on. The crazy powerful thing about it is, the choice is ours. If the world seems unloving or unusually negative, we can turn it around quicker than we might think. If we feel like life has been unfairly hostile to us, we can change that too. Whatever we feel our life is lacking, we need to give away. Tony Robbins says, “The secret to living is giving.” It really is. Not only will giving bring us a great amount of joy, but it will also bring us untold returns. Whether we give away love and positivity or hostility and negativity is up to us. Just so I can have two posts that quote both Winnie-the-Pooh and Tony Robbins to make the same point, I will leave you with this quote from that loveable bear.

WHEN YOU ARE DISCOURAGED 😞

In today’s world, it is easy to get discouraged. We know that there are negative influences at every turn. There of course is the nightly news. Turn that off. There is all the political division. Do not fall for that. There are different faiths convincing you they are right and everyone else is wrong. Love everyone anyway. News even comes to our phones. Turn off the notification.

Even if we take all of the measures to insulate ourselves from the pressures of life that may bring us down, it can still get through. We can witness it at the coffee shop. Coworkers can come up and inform us of it. Sometimes we can just feel discouraged and lacking hope. It is at this very moment we should do what the photo above suggests. It works 100% of the time. There is nothing that feels as good as knowing you helped make the world a little brighter for someone else. The opportunities are everywhere. People post their tough days on social media. There are charities to help at. This could be a food bank, a domestic violence shelter or a million other options. Even something as encouraging a server in a restaurant, like my lovely lady did today, or a retail setting can make their world a lot brighter.

Wisdom from one of my favorite philosophers. Winnie-the-Pooh touches on something very helpful here. When we are feeling discouraged, it can be tempting to just sit at home and wallow in our misery. Seeking out others in “our corner of the woods” that could use some encouragement is just what the doctor ordered. It not only gets us out of the house, which will help our emotional state in and of itself. “Motion equals emotion.” as Tony Robbins says. Yes, I just quoted both Winnie-the-Pooh and Tony Robbins to make the same point. That is just how my brain rolls. It will also give us a mission and an important reason for being. Two more ways to positively impact our emotional state before we encourage a single soul. When we do find those in “the woods” that need us, we will be helping them as much as they will be helping us.

Creating as many of these win/win situations as we can will rid our life of that terrible feeling of discouragement. Here is something that should be obvious, but since we are focused on feeling discouraged, I thought I should mention it. This works even if we are having a good day. When we encourage others, it will give our own emotional state a lift. This is true whether we are feeling down in the dumps, or even if we are walking on cloud nine. Encourage someone today! It will make someone’s day and may save yours!

NEW GOAL FOR US ALL THIS WEEK!😀

This week, let us do exactly what this picture says. Find one person a day to find something beautiful in, and tell them. Just one person, one thing, once a day. That’s not so hard, is it? What is amazing is the effect you will have.

You can start easy. For me, that would mean telling Margie one of the million things that are beautiful about her. However, I would ask that you pick different people each day. Also, maybe people who wouldn’t quite expect it. In my case, there are several. My friend Julie, it is beautiful how strong she is in her faith. My friend Nick has a beautiful way of being compassionate to others. My friend Nicci is an art teacher and positively affecting young people is beautiful. Her husband, Chris, really cares about the condition of the world and the people in it. That is a difficult, yet beautiful thing. There are so many people, with so much beauty in them, they need to hear it!

How about you? Who are some people in your life that are beautiful? What is beautiful about them? Make sure you tell them! 7 days, 7 people! Let’s do this and change some lives!

THE KEY TO GREATNESS 🔑

I was never friends with Bob Marley. He died when I was 5. I feel like we would have had a lot to talk about. Although his recreational habits may differ from mine, a lot of his life philosophy really falls in line with what we discuss here. Take this quote above discussing greatness. He uses the word ‘man’ but it applies to everyone. Many people who are determined to be great focus on all of the wrong things. They do their best to acquire wealth, fame or power. What they should really be focused on is developing character, integrity and positively affecting others.

When you become focused on bettering yourself and being a source of positive influence to others and those you care about, the world will see you as great. If you have a wealthy friend, but you know them to be dishonest and they won’t even return your calls, would you consider them great? I know I wouldn’t. However, if you had a friend that was poor, or did not have many friends or social media followers, but was always there to lend a hand or even to just listen, would you consider them a great individual? I think it would be safe to say that answer is yes.

All this is not to say that you shouldn’t pursue goals or chase your dreams in life. It is good to better your plot in life. It is more important to better yourself if you truly want to be great. By doing so, your plot in life will often follow in its improvement. We should all strive to be great and do so by becoming the best version of us that we can.

3 KEYS TO THE LIFE YOU WANT

Reaching the life we desire can seem like a long, complicated and difficult road. It should not be. How to be successful is not a great mystery. In fact, it can be accomplished with just 3 words. We will take them one at a time to show you how you can go from the life you have to the life you love quicker than you ever thought possible. If you would like to expand on these ideas, I would suggest grabbing one of my books off Amazon. I will put the link at the end of this post.

The first word is mindset. If there is anything that determines the success or failure of an endeavor, it is the attitude in which it is begun. If you know that there will be challenges and you are prepared to meet them and keep your head up, you are far more likely to succeed than someone who considers every obstacle a closed door. There are many great secrets to improving your mindset. Again, some are included in my book, Living the Dream. There is a whole section on developing a champions mindset. Wherever you find the tools and strategies that work for you, keep learning and developing your mindset.

Bruce Lee brings us our second word – focus. I heard an analogy that really makes it clear. If you hit a tree with an ax in a thousand different places, not much will happen. If, however, you hit that same tree a thousand times in the same place, you will cut down that tree. This can be applied to both our goals and obstacles in life. If we stay focused and apply action in a focused nature, we will achieve them. If we act randomly on several different goals, bouncing from one to another, we will achieve very little if anything at all. As the saying goes, if you try to chase two rabbits at the same time, you will not catch any. This is why multi-tasking is such a fallacy. You would be far better to apply all of your effort towards a single goal and moving on to the next one.

Our third and final key to the life you desire is consistency. Nothing is more frustrating than feeling like we are working forever on a goal and it is no nearer than when we started. As so often is the case, this can best be demonstrated in the realm of fitness. We feel like we have been working out forever and still we resemble that loveable man on the biscuit container. If we are honest with ourselves, we will find the missing key is consistency. We workout on Saturday when we have slept in and had a good breakfast. Monday comes and we are not about to get up early. After our first day of the work week is done, we are feeling exhausted and certainly not up for a workout. One day won’t make a difference, right? Tuesday we have to catch up on all of our errands we were too tired to do on Monday. Here is Hump day, Wednesday, we may pop in the gym for a little workout after work, but don’t have the energy we used to. Friday comes and we have so many social obligations, we just don’t have time for the gym. Next week we will do better we say. Perhaps we do. If we continue in this up down fashion, we are unlikely to see any real results. We must do the actions consistently. This is also helped by having a determined mindset and being focused on achieving the result. As you see, they all go hand in hand.

When it comes to your life, apply these three words to whatever goal you are after and you will be amazed with how quick you will see it materialize. Mindset, focus and consistency are the three keys that will unlock any door. What door are you looking to open and how can you apply these three keys to get there?

CLICK HERE TO GET ANY OR ALL OF MY BOOKS😀

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIKE AND LOVE ❤️

This thought is so powerful. Not just for the obvious impact on our relationships, but on life in general. Let us start with relationships. I love Margie. I think anyone who knows me, has that pretty much figured out. One could say that I ‘plucked this beautiful flower out of the garden of life’. That is not entirely true. When you pick something, whether that is a person or a flower, you aim to own it. Once you take that view, things can begin to go south in a hurry. In love, we should not focus on possession, but on giving. As the quote above says, when you find a flower you love, you water it daily. That way, it will allow that flower to be a part of your life for as long as possible. Would that same not hold true for people?

Before you get your squirt gun out and possibly irritate your spouse, let me explain. ‘Watering’ someone simply means to give them what they need to grow. In my case, it is helping get Margie what she needs to create her cakes and other magic. It is also introducing her to videos and books to help expand her base of knowledge and introduce her to new concepts. It is helping her see more of the world by traveling with her. It is also giving her a place, and a person, to feel safe and vulnerable with. On occasion, we do attack each other with squirt guns, but that is all part of the fun.

Different quote, but same idea. What I like about this one, is the very last line. “Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.” This is something we could all ponder. No matter how good your love is, adding a little appreciation would make it even better. Love is about seeing which of you can give more. This could be in a relationship, a friendship or any other type of relationship. The facts still hold true. Even if it is a relationship that is suffering or on the verge of dying, a little watering could bring it back to life.

This is obvious when it comes to relationships, but it is true of anything we love in life. You love your career? What can you give to it? How can you show it more appreciation? When I become frustrated with my writing, it is in finding new ways to give or reach new audiences that I feel inspired once again. How about you? What are some things, or someone, you love in life? Have you been trying to possess them or appreciate them? How could you show them more appreciation and ‘water’ them more? I would love to hear your answers in the comments below.

QUESTION YOUR MOTIVE

Why do we do the things we do? Is it for gain, be that personal or professional? Do we do things based upon who the receiving party is? That is to say, if they are nice, we will do more for them.

I say we should take a hard look at our motivation for what actions we take. Just like we should not let our emotional state be dictated by outside sources, nor should we let those circumstances dictate the actions we take.

Think of your legacy. Think of how you would like to be remembered. What would you like people to say about you? Base your actions on your values. What is your character and who is the person that you want to be? This is what should determine our actions.

ONE LAST FREEDOM

Remember to exercise this freedom. Our circumstances may be beyond our control. Our spouse, our boss or the person driving next to us may not act as we wish them to. Trying to control that is a waste of time. What would serve us better is to work on controlling our response to their actions. There is a big difference between giving someone the finger and laughing at their lack of consideration and saying, “thanks for helping me practice controlling my anger and growing my patience.”

In case this sounds like something that is only possible to people is easy situations, let’s look at the man who gave us this quote. Victor Frankl was a Jewish psychologist who was imprisoned in a concentration camp. He had his entire family killed, yet still found a way to give himself the motivation to continue. Knowing by surviving, he would be able to tell the story of what happened to him and help prevent it in the future, he was able to endure. His book, Man’s Search for Meaning is a must read.

Next time we think controlling our reaction is beyond our control, remember a man sentenced to death in a concentration camp could manage, so can we.

LET THE MONSTER SEE YOU SMILE 😃

Friday, we made it through another week! In all of our lives we have those monsters. It could be a demanding boss. It could be that relative that looks down on us. Anyone in our lives looking for us to fail. Those who are jealous of us. Those who are just unhappy with their own lives. Maybe it is just our inner demons, telling us we can’t succeed.

Like Frank Sinatra said, “The best revenge is massive success.” Of blue eyes was on to something there. Smiling in the face of any monster, be it internal or external, is the greatest victory. You might be asking, “Neil, what if my week was not a success?” Great question. Even if your week has been a total dumpster fire, you are still here. You made it through and there is still the potential for success.

Earl Nightingale gave us this definition of success, “success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” The key word is progressive. As long as you are still working towards your goal, YOU are a success. Enjoy your Friday. Smile at the monster.