Old Charlie brings up a really good point here. Everyone wants to be useful. One of the six basic needs is a feeling of significance. A quick and easy way to be useful is to do something to help out someone else. It improves the lives of both you and the person you are helping. It is a two for one! What a better way to improve your life, someone else’s life and feel useful. If one out of every ten people decided to do this, that would be roughly one billion people doing something to help lighten the burden of another! That would positively affect the lives of two billion people! Can you imagine how powerful that would be?
If you want your life to have a greater level of importance, it does not take more likes on social media. You do not have to be a greater ‘influencer’. It is far more simple than that. If you want to be important in the world, find as many ways as you can to serve others. The more lives you touch and help, the more important you will become. Not to mention, you will make the world a better place for us all.
One of my favorite song lyrics by Bob Marley. It is so true. Our minds are one of the only things we can execute total control over. Notice, I did say can. The mind can be an obeying servant, or it can be a master with no mercy. Many of us live life at the whim of our emotions and outside circumstances. If I were to ask you when you woke up if you were going to have a good day, what would you answer? Most of us would give the answer “We will have to wait and see.” Meaning our day, and so our lives, are determined by other people events and circumstances.
I will be the first to admit that it is easier to smile on a beach than in a snow storm. The truth is that we still have control over our minds in both. Finding the beauty in the world around us and living in a state of gratitude will allow us to determine to live a great life. It is possible to wake up determined to have a good day and not let the outside circumstances determine the quality of our life. With that in mind, I will leave you with this quote from Martha Washington that I think sums it up quite nicely.
On the surface, this seems like a no brainer. Yet, how easy is this to understand in the heat of the moment? When a customer is screaming at us for giving them the wrong flavor coffee. When are coworker snaps at us for no particular reason. When our spouse seems to be angry with every little thing we do. It is very difficult to pause and ask ourselves, “What are they hurting from?” It is true that only hurt people, hurt people. Considering this, anyone who hurts us is probably struggling with something themselves.
The first step would be to honestly ask ourselves if we had played any role in why they might be currently treating us harshly. If so, we should apologize and follow that with some sort of corrective action. If not, consider that they may be hurting inside and for some reason be emotionally ignorant on how to constructively express themselves. This certainly does not excuse their behavior, but it may help us approach it with a little more compassion.
Why should we even care that they are struggling, when they may be doing their best to put us in the same state? Understanding this will allow us to take their actions a lot less personally. This means we will feel less stressed and hurt. This can only be a good thing for us.
Another time to remember that we all struggle is when we are tempted to treat someone harshly. The classic example of someone cutting us off in traffic comes to mind. They may have been distracted, lost or just a jerk. What they also be is dealing with the loss of a loved one, a serious negative medical diagnosis, or a million other versions of suffering. Our negative reaction to their seemingly careless action could be the one to put them over the edge. I can’t count the times I have been lost in emotion and may not have been paying close enough attention to whatever it is I am doing. Someone acting harshly towards me at that moment would probably be the least helpful thing that could happen.
One of the best examples I can recall comes from the author, Stephen Covey. He was on a subway, and there was a father who seemed to be letting his children run wild without a care in the world. Finally, unable to take it anymore, Stephen said to the man, “Don’t you think you should do something about your children?” At this moment, I am sure he was feeling frustrated, angry, and perhaps some other unpleasant emotions. We would think rightfully so. The man looked at him with a hollow expression and replied, “You are right. Their mother just passed away, and they are not really sure how to act. In fact, neither am I.” What do you think Stephen felt then? The point is, none of us know what pains someone may be suffering. Be kind. It is always the right decision. Click the link below to check out my podcast, or just search “Living the Dream with Neil Panosian” on your favorite streaming platforms.
My lovely lady is planning a date to take me on. I have not a clue as to what it might be. As you are reading this, it will have already occurred and I am sure I will be inspired to write some wonderful thing about it. Here is what the date has already inspired – the importance of being a good listener. The quote from Mr. Hemingway above gives us a clue as to how to become a great listener. Being present is such an important aspect of listening. Do not busy yourself formulating a reply while the person is still conveying what they have to say. Not only is this very poor manners, you will miss a good deal of valuable information.
My lady and I have a saying we use. Listen to learn and understand and not to reply. In doing so, we not only help solve conflicts better, we learn how to bring each other a greater amount of joy. If you remain present and listen to learn, you will discover things about your partner that you would never learn if you didn’t People will convey what they like and dislike. They will tell you things that make their hearts happy and things that make their heart break. You will be able to buy gifts you are sure your partner will love.
This tip works not just for romantic relationships, but any interaction between two parties. Listening to understand will allow you to proceed with more information and do so in a more intelligent manner. This can be a difference in saving a friendship, working relationship, or romantic relationship. When it comes to the relationship itself, the right kind of listening can be a matter of life or death…of the relationship that is.
I think we all enjoy receiving praise from those around us. I know when my lovely lady compliments me, my heart soars. What really matters is what our opinions of ourselves are. This can be a double-edged sword. If we accomplish something great, but do so by ill-gotten means, others may praise you, but inside, you will not be able to be proud of yourself. On the other hand, if you work very hard on a project, stay disciplined and it still does not work out, others may view it as a failure, but you can know what a great character you developed.
There lies the secret of approval. Develop your character to a point where you are satisfied that you have acted in accordance to the best version of yourself. Never stop improving and learning. If you do these actions, you will always have the approval of your inner character. It will allow the opinions of others to hold the appropriate weight.
The weekend is here! We have earned it. Just a word of caution, do not let the two days after Friday ruin all your effort from the five days before Friday. We might be able to relax a little more on the weekend, and we should, but stay committed to your goals!
What do you do to stay motivated and disciplined on the weekends? Please share in the comments below. I think we could all use a little extra help with motivation and dedication on the weekend!
This quote is so true. The circumstances we are born in are out of our control. What we do with them, that is entirely within our control. We all know, or have read about people seemingly born into the worst situations that rise up to become leaders and do great things. We have also heard tales of those born with everything that throw their lives all away.
How about you? What are you going to do with your life? Are you going to let those challenges hold you back, or are you going to use them as stepping stones to rise to greater heights? Are you going to complain about what is wrong or use it to prove what people can overcome? The choice is up to you.
My lovely lady is a big fan of Alice in Wonderland, so I thought I would use this quote. If memory serves, it was uttered to Alice by the Mad Hatter. The truth of this statement holds up in today’s world just as much as it does in the fairytale by Lewis Carroll.
We are all entirely bonkers in our own unique way. Me, you, the lady at the grocery store. It is those who are comfortable with their madness that truly make a difference in the world. Far too many of us hide our truth because we are afraid of the opinions of others. Do not let that stop you.
So many people think I am bonkers for trying to bring a little bit of light to a world that often seems consumed in darkness. They think my optimistic outlook is delusional. They may be right. However, I would much rather live in a world of joyous illusion than one of somber realism.
I encourage all of you to embrace that part of you that makes you unique. The part some may find entirely bonkers. I cannot say it enough, what the world needs more ofis people brave enough to live in their truth.So be a little bonkers, all the great ones are.
I think this is one of the great secrets to happiness. Today, let us all look for what we can love in our life. A good portion of people constantly lament many things about their lives. They have to go to work every day. They have aches and pains in their bodies. Their caris acting up again.
If we took a step back and changed our perspective, life may feel a lot different. What if we lost that job? We were unable to find work? Suddenly, that job we dread going to would be a dream come true. Those aches and pains are the wishes of someone who has become paralyzed. What if we did not have a car and had to take transportation everywhere?
I see this a lot with some couples. They constantly complain about each other. I think of all the people I know who have lost their spouse and would give anything to be able to have them back, even for a day.
Gratitude and appreciation can allow us to love the life we live. Next time you are tempted to complain about something or someone, ask yourself what you have to be grateful for. It might take imagining what life would be without that person or thing. We have so much in our life to love if only we chose to look at our life that way.
Forgiveness is a gift you truly give yourself. Most of the time, the person you are upset with could care less if you forgive them. Harboring anger only steals your peace. Knowing this, why do people put off forgiving others? I believe there are two reasons. Let us take a look at these one at a time.
First reason people don’t forgive others is that somehow they equate that with the other person ‘winning’. The opposite is actually true. If you let the person continue to keep you in a state of hurt and anger, then that would be closer to ‘winning’. In actuality, the only winning is living a peaceful and rewarding life. That can only be accomplished through forgiveness. If someone is still renting space in your head or your heart, evict them!
The second reason people withhold forgiveness, is they assume forgiveness means they would have to reconnect with that person. This is certainly not true. There are people who sadly can be in our hearts, but not our life. If there is someone who has done you so wrong you want them neither in your heart or your life, than youmust forgive them. By holding on to anger, or some feeling of hurt, you are maintaining a connection.
