Tag: self improvement

DON’T BE A FOOL! 🃏

Today is April Fools Day. Not a holiday I am a fan of, but a good time to take a look at what makes a fool. After all, nobody wants to be associated with being the fool, not even on April Fools Day. As the quote above from Willy Shakespeare shows, one of the first sign of a fool is the belief they know it all. Never, in any situation, can anyone really know it all. There are so many different variables to consider, and the change so fast, that there is always more to learn. It has been my observation that people who act as if they know it all really suffer from a lack of self-confidence or a poor self-image. Where someone who is wise, knows that there is always more to learn and is not afraid to admit he has more to learn. The first way to be a fool is to think, and act, like you know it all.

The second quote comes from one of my favorite authors, Dale Carnegie. He wrote my favorite book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. If you haven’t read it yet, I highly suggest you do so. It will not only change your life, but the lives of everyone you come in contact with. Here, Mr. Carnegie points out a trait of fools. They criticize, condemn and complain. Not only does this make you foolish, it makes you unpleasant to be around. This was brought home by my friend Gonzo. We were chatting the other night and he said something I thought each one of us could be reminded of. He said, “Everyone can complain, but it doesn’t mean you have to.” What does complaining, condemning and criticizing do for us? Very little would be the answer. Much like our first example, people who do this usually have a poor self-image. They do so because it makes them feel more secure in themselves. It is far better to encourage, inspire and uplift. Second way to be a fool is to constantly criticize, condemn and complain.

Today, let us not to anything foolish. Instead of thinking we know it all or constantly complaining and criticizing, let us look to learn, listen and inspire. The way some folks act, fools day can be far more than the first of April. Let us be a light in the darkness, a wise soul in the company of fools. Be the best version of ourselves and leave the foolishness to the fools.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 🗺

As the workweek winds down, many of us are looking forward to the weekend. The question is, what are you going to be focused on? One of the keys to living a positive and rewarding life is to focus on where you are going. Most of us focus on what is at hand. This is certainly helpful as we need to address what is going on at the moment. A few of us are focused on the past. What trauma we may have undergone or situations we have went through. This has its benefits as it helps us realize why we take the actions we take. How many of us are really focused on where we are going? This helps us to better focus on using the past to our advantage as well as what actions to take in the present. Why? The actions we take today will shape our tomorrow. If we do not think about where we would like to go, how do we know what direction to face and what actions would be the correct ones to take?

I like to think of it like driving. While driving, they advise you to look in your rearview mirror every 8 seconds. That is a good ratio to focus on our past. More often you need to focus on what is going on around you at the moment. This helps us know what actions to take to keep us moving along our journey. Should we turn right now? Will that be the best route to get where we need to go? We also need to look out our windshield 6 out of those 8 seconds (the other one I would suggest to check your speed and gages) This allows us to see what is in the immediate future. Is there a red light coming up? Do we need to begin to slow down? Does the street end? Is there a driver that looks like they may not stop at the red light? How many blocks until that turn?

This whole time we have to have our destination in mind. This will tell us what actions to take in the present. If you do not know where you are going, what is the point of getting in your car and driving? Same with life. If we do not have a destination, it is like getting in our car and taking random left and rights. We will get somewhere, but it will not be a destination of our own choosing. Even if we encounter road construction or a detour, which ca be compared to obstacles in our life, we will make adjustments and still proceed on our way to our destination. If we know where we are going, these may slow us down but they will not stop us.

FALL IN LOVE AGAIN ❤️

One of the greatest issues in today’s world is that people really do not love their lives. According to research by Forbes magazine, 87% of us are going to jobs that we really do not enjoy. Spending 40 hours a week, plus commute, on doing something that drains your soul can certainly take some of your joy of living away. What about the times you are not working? They are usually filled with the stress of life and family responsibilities. Try to squeeze in some sleep and time is used up.

What this leads to for many of us is a “wake up, pay bills and die” kind of existence. My fourth book addresses this in great detail, but we are going to take a look at one of the most powerful tools that exists to go from surviving to thriving. That tool? It is gratitude. You probably have heard quite a bit about gratitude and how important it is for living a quality life. The reason you have heard so much about it, is because it works. I am sure most of us know this intellectually, but how many of us have a gratitude practice of any kind? If we stop and ask anyone if they are grateful for things in their life, they usually respond with a resounding yes. Still, most of us go through life focused on what has to be fixed, or what is wrong with our lives.

Gratitude can change every aspect of our life when we take time to not only focus on it, but stay in that state for at least a few minutes each day. My favorite times to do this is either first thing in the morning or right before bed. Here is why. First thing in the morning we set the tone for our day. Why not make it one of appreciation and gratitude? It sure beats leaving the house in a depressed or angry state. It will put us in a far better state to face the challenges ahead. Practicing gratitude right before bed gives us a sense of inner peace and allows our rest to be restorative. It will allow us to see that although the day may not have gone exactly how we wanted it to, there are still many reasons to be grateful.

Whether you choose to practice gratitude first thing in the morning, or last thing at night, make sure you spend at least a few minutes every day doing so. You could even do so on your lunch! That way you get a midday refresh. The reasons for doing so are many (increased immune function, reduced stress, etc.) The main reason is that is helps us fall in love with our life again. We have a little spring in our step. Want to make this even more powerful? Try expressing gratitude at least once a day. You will not only make someone else’s day better, but you will give your own heart an extra dose of joy. I would love to hear of any gratitude practices you use.

EXPAND THE POSITIVE 🌞

How many of us have had a medical issue, then look it up to self-diagnose only to discover we are terminal? We are so worried, we end up making our condition worse. What we have imagined to be the black death, turns out to be a sinus infection. I think we are all guilty of this is some fashion. It is not actually our fault. Through evolution, our brains are hardwired to think negative and imagine the worst case scenario. This is done as a form of protection to keep us safe. While this worked fairly well for our cave-dwelling ancestors, it really is a bummer for modern day humans.

Imagine if we fought against evolution and focused on the positive? How different would our life be? Is it possible to dwell on outcomes we desire, instead of ones we fear? Not only is it possible, it is a lot more enjoyable. Just like overcoming any learned, or even evolutionary behavior, this will take time. One great way to start, is to begin visualizing positive events in our life. Doing this when we are feeling good should be a lot easier than waiting until we are worried about something. The more we do this, the easier it should be when we are nervous.

Using our imagination will not only reduce the amount of pain in our lives, but will increase the amount of joy. It may also open our minds to see opportunities that may have passed us by if we were only focused on what could go wrong, or how terrible a situation may be. Do yourself a favor and expand the positive.

THE BRIDGE BETWEEN GOALS AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS 🌁

Today, many of us are looking for the one trick, or hack, that will allow us to turn our life around. Here is the good and bad news. There is a hack that will allow you to accomplish all of your goals, in all the areas of your life. Here is the bad news for many of you. That hack is self-discipline. Consistent focused action is what will allow you to reach, and in many cases surpass, the goals you are now chasing.

This should make you breathe a sigh of relief. There is no wondering “Is this going to work?”. There will be ups and downs, but every day you will be getting closer to your goal. It may seem like you take three steps back for every step forward, but even then there are lessons to be learned. In this way, you are still moving closer to your goal, even if it does not feel like it.

If you want to succeed in life, if you want to accomplish any goal or achieve that dream, know that it is self-discipline that is the key to getting there. If you are looking for a bridge from where you are to where you want to be, it is the discipline of consistent action. Start that journey today.

1 WAY TO AVOID CRITICISM 😔

Who wouldn’t want to be loved by everyone? In a world where many people view their value on social media ‘likes’, it is important to consider this quote issued thousands of years ago. No matter where you stand on an issue. No matter how pure and good your intent is, you will face criticism. Can we remember, and more to the point respect, that others have a right to be different than us? It is what gives flavor and excitement to life. Can you imagine a world full of people just like us? It may sound good on the surface, but it would quickly spiral downward.

What would be so bad about everyone being the same? There would be no disagreements. While this is true, there would also be very little growth. There are also people who hold opinions that would harm others. Be that emotionally or physically. When we hear everyone being the same, most of us just assume that means that Betty and Bob would have to be just like us. None of us would stop and consider that we have have to become just like Betty or Bob. We may have to change our beliefs, our likes and dislikes. How would you like to be forced to do that? No? Than why should we expect anyone else to do the same for us?

When we receive criticism, it is important to remember this fact. All people are different and that is ok. We have all had different experiences and face different environments. A person born and raised in Fiji, for example, would have a much different view on life and what goes on in it, than myself. Although, if they would like to trade places for a bit, I would be down. Someone born in a single parent household verses a two parent household would be different. The list, as we can imagine, could be endless. Just remember, if you are going to say or do anything, there will be those who criticize and disagree. Also remember, that is just fine.

ARE YOU BUYING, OR ARE YOU SELLING…. YOURSELF?🤔

In a world of quick gratification, this quote should really hit home for a lot of us! We associate pleasure to so many things, that we fail to realize how much we have become a slave to these pleasures. How many of us have seen a couple out for dinner and spend the entire meal staring at their phones, barely interacting with each other? When we cease to be able to enjoy things in moderation, we become a slave to them. Yes, pizza, I am looking at you. When we ‘have to have’ the latest gizmo or gadget, we are giving our money, our attention and most importantly, our energy to them. There is nothing wrong with obtaining nice things. When that becomes a problem, is when getting those things is our main goal in life.

This is so true in life. One of the reasons that I have such an amazing relationship with the lady in my life, is the experiences we buy or pay attention to. It is not the big things, although those are amazing. It is the simple things. The pleasure I seek, is her smile. What I choose to pay attention to is the little things she does that melt my heart everyday. By investing in these pleasures, it creates at atmosphere of love and appreciation for each other. Just the other day, she even had a little sign on the door when I came home from a hard day at work. It cost her nothing but a few minutes of her time. The return on that investment? Every time I see, or even think about that sign, I love her even more.

Think of the pleasures in your life. Are you really buying them, or have you become a slave to them? One of the greatest ways to prevent this from happening is to remain present. That way you can not only get pleasure from each moment in life, but you will be aware enough to realize the pleasures that have taken over your life.

THE CHOICE IS OURS 😉

Welcome to Wednesday! One of my favorite days of the week. Also the one I have the hardest time spelling. Today we remember, uplift and encourage one another. This quote above is a great reminder of the power we have over our own situation. Most people spend their energy trying to control what happens to them. This can be slightly beneficial, but it is important to note that we have little or no control over events in our lives. What we have complete control over is ourselves.

This is another great example of the 80/20 principle. We should spend about 20% of our efforts on affecting the events around us and 80% on our attitude and mentality. Whether we view an event as a obstacle or an opportunity will not change the event. What it will change is the actions we take, and thus, our quality of life. It is the glass half full or half empty argument. One will see life as a constant struggle and full of lack. Can you imagine how it would feel to go through life like that? The other will view life with gratitude and a feeling of potential and abundance. How would that feel? Same situations, and entirely different life.

When people ask how important attitude is to your quality of life, I ask them how important granite is to the Himalayas. (Ok, I stole this quote from Earl Nightingale) Attitude truly is everything, as the saying goes. The pessimist, and even those calling themselves realists, may say that this does not change the facts of life. I would counter that they are 100% correct. What it does change is the quality and enjoyment we receive in life. Is attitude important? I don’t know. How important for you is the quality and enjoyment you receive out of your life? We should put less effort worried about things we can’t control and more effort towards improving our attitude.

SWEAT MORE, BLEED LESS. 🤺

The point of this quote should be obvious. In case it is not, let me expand on it. The more we prepare, the better we will be when faced with a challenge. This really holds true across all areas of life. If we save money, or work to create a good side-hustle, we will be prepared for any financial challenge that may arise. If we work on our health and fitness, we will be better prepared for a challenge in that arena. This came in handy for me when I needed immediate open-heart surgery. The doctor telling me, “If you hadn’t been in such good shape, we would not be having this conversation.” Some good food for thought there. Had I waited to take care of my health until I was told that I had a problem, you might not be reading this.

The common theme through all of these is that if you work on yourself, you will be better prepared to take on any challenge in life. One of the more interesting ones that many of us may not think of is our spirituality. Whatever your faith may be, even if that is faith in yourself, it needs to be fostered and grown. The more you do so, the more you will be ready to face life’s toughest challenges. Many times it is difficult to find the motivation to do what needs to be done in our lives. It is the work we put in when nobody is watching that not only allows us to face challenges, but to grow into the best version of ourselves.

Every second of training and preparation we do, is less damage we will incur when we face a challenge. Trust me when I tell you, face a challenge we all will. You never know when life will test you. The better prepared you are, the more likely you are to pass that test.

DO NOT DIE BEFORE YOU ARE BURIED 💀

I have always liked this quote by Ben Franklin. Yes, we are on an informal basis like that. Actually, Ol’ Ben was quite a party animal, but that is a post for a different day. What does he mean about Dying at twenty and not being buried until we are seventy five? Does that mean they leave us out long past our shelf life? No. What it means is that we stop living a life of purpose and passion and settle into a life of mediocrity. It is the “Wake up, pay bills and die.” mentality.

My fourth book will deal with this in depth. Until that wonderful piece of literature is published, let us have a brief discussion on the subject. Does life feel like a chore to you? Are you busy just trying to survive, or are you focused on thriving? Whether you are 18 or 80, the time is now to focus on living. Ask yourself, how many times a day does your soul feel on fire with the passion of life? Many people think this is an unrealistic goal. That, in itself, tells you how far removed from truly living they are.

It may be quite a high standard to walk around in a state of bliss, although there are those who manage. Your life should, and quite frankly must, contain moments of this. If not, you are not really living. As someone who works 45 hours a week at his day job, writes a daily blog, is working on his fourth book, hosts a podcast and is a DJ on Sunday, I can understand that quite often responsibilities can take up quite a bit of our lives. Sneaking in reasons to be full of passion is what makes life feel alive.

I recommend creating as many of these moments as you can. One of the best ways to do so is to be fully present. In a world where more of us stare at our phone than out in the world, this alone could make a huge difference. Spending some time in nature revives the soul in many ways as well. Having a purpose bigger than a paycheck is not only a good idea, it is vital to creating a rewarding and fulfilling life. Let us start living more, and let us start doing so today.

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