This quote is a great reminder in a world focused on material and status accomplishment. While that is great, it is what you have gone through to get there that is impressive. Your persistence in accomplishing your goal is what makes you who you are. Trying to eat better and accidentally slip and fall and a doughnut lands in your mouth? That could be enough for most people to beat themselves up and go back to eating junk. If you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and grab a salad for lunch, you are my kind of hero.
Please do not under value the fortitude it takes to keep pushing after a setback. It is something that defines character, internal strength and gives us the ability to handle difficulty in the future. If you have ever fallen and got back up, remember you are the hero. You deserve the glory. Keep fighting. It is within that fight that the glory lives.
There is a lot to unpack here, and I hope to have these words make sense to you. If you are a student of self-improvement for any length of time, you have undoubtedly heard the story of the lion and the gazelle. It is a great way to view motivation. The gazelle is motivated by outside circumstances. In this case, the lion. If the lion is not there, he will continue to eat grass and chill. The lion, however, has an internal motivation – his hunger. Sure, maybe there is the thought about feeding the rest of the pack, but the driving force is his hunger. The same should be true in our lives. We should not only be motivated by outside circumstances, but by internal ones. Do we only study and improve ourselves when we think our job might be in jeopardy, or we do it because we are hungry to become the best version of ourselves?
The same is true with competition. We are not competing to be smarter than Bob, or more beautiful than Betty. We want to improve ourselves and become the best version of us that we can be. Not to mention, the world does not need another Bob or Betty. What the world needs is for us to be the most authentic and best versions of us that we can be. What is preventing us from doing that is also internal. It is not Bob, Betty, our spouse or our boss. No, it is our habits, our lack of consistent action. When we are trying to lose weight, it is not Little Debby’s fault that we eat a box of snack cakes. No, it is our lack of personal control.
This week, remember we are competing against that version of ourselves that wants to hold us back through laziness, lack of focus and lack of effort. Can we defeat the challenges of the old version of ourselves? That is the true competition. That is what we are up against.
I have written about this in the past. I may have even used this very picture. It remains as true now as it has ever been. With all of the divisive political rhetoric, people searching for the most direct path to fortune and fame, and the lack of significance many people feel, we need to embrace this little lesson above. It will not only address all of the issue mentioned previously, it will also make the world a better place as a whole.
Want to solve the great political divide? Be a decent human and accept other people might hold different opinions than you. Further more, those opinions could be right for them and their beliefs. Want to look for the quickest path to fame? Find a need and fill it. The more people you can serve, the more you will be in demand. Providing life hacks, inspiring and empowering people or just being encouraging are great ways to start. If you feel that you are not very important, or wish to be more valuable to those you care about and the world around you, be a wonderful human being. Be a good listener. Treat everyone with compassion and understanding. Uplift the spirits of everyone you come in contact with. Do all of these and your presence will be coveted by kings and peasants alike. Everyone loves someone who makes them feel like the special individual they are.
Lastly, filling the world with one more good human being benefits us all. It is a blessing for those you interact with and an example from those observing you. It is perhaps the most rewarding career field you can go into. As the photo above mentions, there is very little competition.
It is my first time writing at a coffee shop in a while. The weather around here has been quite nice, and it has been fun writing on my front porch. Today, we are going to look at a subject that has almost become second nature to me. It is how to live an amazing life in any condition. This may sound like a tall order, and it can be. Situations in life broadly fall into two categories. There are the ones that we consider ‘good’. These can be falling in love, a financial windfall, or any of many other great situations. The others are what we call ‘bad’ situations. These could include, but are not limited to, falling ill, losing our job, losing a loved one, or many other such things.
I have found two different strategies to turn both of these situations into something that improves my life. When life is going good, the trick is to fully experience it. This may sound like a no brainer, but today there appears to be a challenge in remaining present. This is easy to understand. We have cell phones that keep us connected to the world around us no matter where we are. There is social media. This keeps us connected with friends, family and even people we don’t know in person. With our cellphones, everyone has a camera with them at all times. It can be tempting to spend the entire experience taking pictures of the event instead of living it. Do not get me wrong. A well timed picture can be a great memory, but make sure you make it an exception and not the rule. It is a sad day when you have to experience a great time you had by looking through the pictures later because you missed it at the time. Appreciate the people you are with, for one day they will be gone. I recall one of my favorite places to go was to visit my friend Curtis at a coffee shopwhere he was employed. We would talk about life and our families. I always left inspired. One day he and his family moved to a different state. The business also relocated.
When life is grand we should stop and truly experience it. That makes sense. About those ‘bad’ situations. Are you really telling me that they can help us live an amazing life? Yep. Simply asking one question can help you to do that. It does not erase the pain, sadness, or anger that you may feel, but it will be a constructive moment. That simple question is, “What is the opportunity in this?” Perhaps someone you love is suffering. How can there be an opportunity in that? There is a chance to help. By showing caring, your relationship with that person can deepen. Perhaps you can help them discover something about themselves they could only learn in the challenge. I think you will find, in any situation, if you keep asking this question you will get an answer.
There you have it. Whether life is good or bad, you can use it to your advantage. No longer are you a slave to circumstances! You can put any and every circumstance to work for you. If you utilize these two simple lessons, you will progress in life far quicker than those poor souls who are ignorant to this valuable information. To make sure that does not include anyone you care about, I invite you to share this post with everyone special in your life.
Old Charlie brings up a really good point here. Everyone wants to be useful. One of the six basic needs is a feeling of significance. A quick and easy way to be useful is to do something to help out someone else. It improves the lives of both you and the person you are helping. It is a two for one! What a better way to improve your life, someone else’s life and feel useful. If one out of every ten people decided to do this, that would be roughly one billion people doing something to help lighten the burden of another! That would positively affect the lives of two billion people! Can you imagine how powerful that would be?
If you want your life to have a greater level of importance, it does not take more likes on social media. You do not have to be a greater ‘influencer’. It is far more simple than that. If you want to be important in the world, find as many ways as you can to serve others. The more lives you touch and help, the more important you will become. Not to mention, you will make the world a better place for us all.
One of my favorite song lyrics by Bob Marley. It is so true. Our minds are one of the only things we can execute total control over. Notice, I did say can. The mind can be an obeying servant, or it can be a master with no mercy. Many of us live life at the whim of our emotions and outside circumstances. If I were to ask you when you woke up if you were going to have a good day, what would you answer? Most of us would give the answer “We will have to wait and see.” Meaning our day, and so our lives, are determined by other people events and circumstances.
I will be the first to admit that it is easier to smile on a beach than in a snow storm. The truth is that we still have control over our minds in both. Finding the beauty in the world around us and living in a state of gratitude will allow us to determine to live a great life. It is possible to wake up determined to have a good day and not let the outside circumstances determine the quality of our life. With that in mind, I will leave you with this quote from Martha Washington that I think sums it up quite nicely.
On the surface, this seems like a no brainer. Yet, how easy is this to understand in the heat of the moment? When a customer is screaming at us for giving them the wrong flavor coffee. When are coworker snaps at us for no particular reason. When our spouse seems to be angry with every little thing we do. It is very difficult to pause and ask ourselves, “What are they hurting from?” It is true that only hurt people, hurt people. Considering this, anyone who hurts us is probably struggling with something themselves.
The first step would be to honestly ask ourselves if we had played any role in why they might be currently treating us harshly. If so, we should apologize and follow that with some sort of corrective action. If not, consider that they may be hurting inside and for some reason be emotionally ignorant on how to constructively express themselves. This certainly does not excuse their behavior, but it may help us approach it with a little more compassion.
Why should we even care that they are struggling, when they may be doing their best to put us in the same state? Understanding this will allow us to take their actions a lot less personally. This means we will feel less stressed and hurt. This can only be a good thing for us.
Another time to remember that we all struggle is when we are tempted to treat someone harshly. The classic example of someone cutting us off in traffic comes to mind. They may have been distracted, lost or just a jerk. What they also be is dealing with the loss of a loved one, a serious negative medical diagnosis, or a million other versions of suffering. Our negative reaction to their seemingly careless action could be the one to put them over the edge. I can’t count the times I have been lost in emotion and may not have been paying close enough attention to whatever it is I am doing. Someone acting harshly towards me at that moment would probably be the least helpful thing that could happen.
One of the best examples I can recall comes from the author, Stephen Covey. He was on a subway, and there was a father who seemed to be letting his children run wild without a care in the world. Finally, unable to take it anymore, Stephen said to the man, “Don’t you think you should do something about your children?” At this moment, I am sure he was feeling frustrated, angry, and perhaps some other unpleasant emotions. We would think rightfully so. The man looked at him with a hollow expression and replied, “You are right. Their mother just passed away, and they are not really sure how to act. In fact, neither am I.” What do you think Stephen felt then? The point is, none of us know what pains someone may be suffering. Be kind. It is always the right decision. Click the link below to check out my podcast, or just search “Living the Dream with Neil Panosian” on your favorite streaming platforms.
My lovely lady is planning a date to take me on. I have not a clue as to what it might be. As you are reading this, it will have already occurred and I am sure I will be inspired to write some wonderful thing about it. Here is what the date has already inspired – the importance of being a good listener. The quote from Mr. Hemingway above gives us a clue as to how to become a great listener. Being present is such an important aspect of listening. Do not busy yourself formulating a reply while the person is still conveying what they have to say. Not only is this very poor manners, you will miss a good deal of valuable information.
My lady and I have a saying we use. Listen to learn and understand and not to reply. In doing so, we not only help solve conflicts better, we learn how to bring each other a greater amount of joy. If you remain present and listen to learn, you will discover things about your partner that you would never learn if you didn’t People will convey what they like and dislike. They will tell you things that make their hearts happy and things that make their heart break. You will be able to buy gifts you are sure your partner will love.
This tip works not just for romantic relationships, but any interaction between two parties. Listening to understand will allow you to proceed with more information and do so in a more intelligent manner. This can be a difference in saving a friendship, working relationship, or romantic relationship. When it comes to the relationship itself, the right kind of listening can be a matter of life or death…of the relationship that is.
I think we all enjoy receiving praise from those around us. I know when my lovely lady compliments me, my heart soars. What really matters is what our opinions of ourselves are. This can be a double-edged sword. If we accomplish something great, but do so by ill-gotten means, others may praise you, but inside, you will not be able to be proud of yourself. On the other hand, if you work very hard on a project, stay disciplined and it still does not work out, others may view it as a failure, but you can know what a great character you developed.
There lies the secret of approval. Develop your character to a point where you are satisfied that you have acted in accordance to the best version of yourself. Never stop improving and learning. If you do these actions, you will always have the approval of your inner character. It will allow the opinions of others to hold the appropriate weight.
The weekend is here! We have earned it. Just a word of caution, do not let the two days after Friday ruin all your effort from the five days before Friday. We might be able to relax a little more on the weekend, and we should, but stay committed to your goals!
What do you do to stay motivated and disciplined on the weekends? Please share in the comments below. I think we could all use a little extra help with motivation and dedication on the weekend!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 