This picture was taken during a nighttime walk with my mother at a local park. We walk here a lot during the day. Despite my best efforts against it, she will often walk alone at night. This evening, I joined her, and it was truly a much different experience than during the day. We were not able to see as far as we normally were. Things we could make out during the day appeared as black silhouettes.
You may think this would make it a lesser experience. Not so. Our senses of hearing were more developed and we noticed sounds we may miss during the day. The photo above is of the local water tower.During the day it is just a water tower, but at night it looked almost mystical. Something we could only appreciate at night.
This walk was a great reminder to get a shift in perspective on what you normally see. It can help you appreciate things you may miss. We walk this park countless times during the day, but the evening made it an entirely different experience. Have you ever had such an experience?
A few months ago I hired a personal trainer at my gym. About a month ago, she quit. Hopefully that is no reflection on me as a client. A new trainer, Mia, was assigned to me. Being very thorough, she sat down with me to better understand me and my fitness goals. One of the questions she asked was what my favorite piece of equipment was at the gym. After some deep reflection, I answered her honestly and said “The massage bed is great.”
After a chuckle between us, I answered with a few machines. Here is the lesson in this. The massage bed is great. Helps you relax and feel good. This is true of so many things in life. The help us feel comfortable. The other machines at the gym wear you out and can leave you sore for days. Just like challenges in life. Many things we do will be uncomfortable and could even hurt mentally, emotionally, or even physically long after the event is over.
Why even bother with any of that? Why not stick to only things that are easy and comfortable? In one word, growth. What kind of shape would I be in if the only machine I used at the gym was the massage bed?Sure I would be comfortable at the time, but when the time came to do anything physical, I would be no better off and may even be worse. Using the machines that cause momentary discomfort will allow our muscles to grow and be better in the future.
This is also the way it works in life. If we only stick to things that make us comfortable we will be no stronger of a person when challenges come. In fact, we may even be weaker. It is not fun to have that difficult conversation or make those tough decisions. It is easier to stay in bed than get up to go to work or clean the house. Still, it makes our life easier in the long term. Think of this next time you have to decide on your favorite discomfort.
Let me begin this by saying that I FIRMLY believe cauliflower cannot become pizza. In fact, I feel it is not good for much at all. Personal opinion part now over, let’s get on with the post.
Often you may think you are not cut out for your dreams. Perhaps you may think you just don’t fit in the role you are striving for.I think today’s technology where they make plasticout of plants, and a million other things, it should be evident that you can make anything out of yourself as well.
Let me begin this by saying that I FIRMLY believe cauliflower cannot become pizza. In fact, I feel it is not good for much at all. Personal opinion part now over, let’s get on with the post.
Often you may think you are not cut out for your dreams. Perhaps you may think you just don’t fit in the role you are striving for.I think today’s technology where they make plasticout of plants, and a million other things, it should be evident that you can make anything out of yourself as well.
On behalf of all of us here at Secret2anamazinglife.com, Welcome to 2025! We have a lot to look forward to this coming year. Are we looking at facing some challenges? We sure are, but we are going to do them together. You reading this blog are part of a supportive community that are all striving to improve themselves, their lives and the world around them. You are not alone on your journey. We also have many milestones we are looking at reaching here at this site. We are less than 100 days away from reaching our goal of 1000 straight daysof content. We will be close to 3000 total posts on this site. My fourth book will be released, hopefully by the end of July.
I want to hear what you are looking forward to this coming year? What goals are you chasing in 2025? More importantly, how can being a part of the Secret2anamazinglife community help you in reaching those goals? If the last few years have taught us anything, it is that we go a lot further together than we can alone. In the coming year, I look forward to interacting with more of you here on this site as well as hopefully meeting more of you in person. When it comes to 2025, we got this!
This weekend as many of us ponder what our New Year resolutions might be, let us frame them in a way that we focus on what we will gain. Want to quit a bad habit such as smoking? Don’t focus on ‘giving up’ cigarettes. Instead, focus on ‘gaining‘ freedom and fresh smelling clothes and better breathing and sense of taste.
Whenever making an adjustment, whether that is a healthy diet, a calm mind or anything else we are looking to accomplish, I suggest focusing on adding a positive instead of eliminating a negative. Social media is a great example of this. Many people say it is too negative. They begin to try to eliminate negative people and sources. Not a bad plan. By simply adding more positive ones, the likelihood they will see negative decreases. This is the same way life works.
Think of healthy eating. If you add eating one healthy meal a day, your stomach will have less room for junk. If you spend more time with positive people, that’s less time you can spend with negative people. Focus on the gains this coming year!
When I was young, I liked the cartoon Mighty Mouse. He would swoop in at the last second with his favors cry, “HereI come to save the day!” After which, he would pretty much do just that. Growing up, that’s what I wanted to be. That’s why I always worked to be the best at whatever I did. I recall winning an award for being Milwaukee’s best bartender. That was cool. I won the ‘Friendliest person in Greendale’ award… twice. Also very nice. Came with a little plaque and flowers. Nominated for best Milwaukee author. That was an honor.
All those were great, but I failed to recognize what all these were a part of. It is the greatest award that any of us pursue, and none of us will be officially recognized for. Sounds great, doesn’t it? That is being the best version of ourselves. It is an award we will chase daily. Sometimes we will come close. We will not get a plaque or flowers. Nobody will hand us a trophy. What we will get is something even more priceless. We will have peace in our mind and our heart knowing that we did the best we could. As they say, an honest man’s pillow is his peace of mind.
The reverse is also true. When we don’t give it our all. When we cut corners. Perhaps we even cheated to get ahead or were dishonest. Yes, we may accomplish the immediate results, but at what cost? That knowledge will continue to eat away at our soul until there is nothing left.
I tip my hat to those brave souls who battle to be their best everyday. Not for recognition or rewards, but for the virtue of it. For the peace of mind and for the example it sets for future generations. Those are the true super heroes. Those are the people who will truly come to save the day.
When I grabbed this quote, I liked many things about it. It is very close to what we discussed a few posts ago how your mind and body do not have to be in the same place at the same time. Before we get into the actual quote, I have to share something about it. What made me laugh after further inspection was where this quote came from. When I was a senior in high school, I did not do well at English class. As mentioned in my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, my teacher even told me, “I pray to God you will never have a career in writing.” At the time it was a fair assessment. Three books and over twenty five hundred blog posts later, maybe not so much. One of the reasons the teacher thought this way is my lack of appreciation of classic literature. When I read something, I like to be able to enjoy it and not search for what it is supposed to mean. Give me the story straight I say. The story that stands out the most in this regard? You guessed it, Paradise Lost. The very story today’s quote comes from.
Now that we have had some humorous back story, let us look at the quote itself. The very first part I find intriguing. “The mind is its own place…” How many of us stop and think of the mind that way? Many things only exist in the mind. Fear is a great example. It is created by, and exists solely in the mind. Many of the stresses in our lives reside between our own two ears. The mind has its own dialogue. As Mr. Milton goes on to explain, “…and in itself, can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” What this means to me is that the mind we bring to a situation goes a long way to determine the quality of the situation.
This is the reason that you can see two people in exactly the same situation, but one is happy and one is miserable. One place I see this a lot is at the gym. Some people working out there look miserable. Some are lifting weights with smiles on their faces. If you stopped and focused on everything you have to do to get to the gym and get a workout, coupled with how sore you might feel after, it would be a pretty miserable experience. You also wouldn’t show up that often, or for that long. If you were to change that focus and realize that every rep of weights and every step of cardio are getting you that much closer to being the healthy person you are working to become, you would be motivated to keep pushing on.
This holds true in any situation in life. At a funeral for example. We can think about the regret of moments lost or never pursued. It will expand the pain and make the feelings of hurt and loss that much greater. We could also focus on the fond memories we have with the dearly departed and ponder ways in which we will honor their memory. This may very well help ease the pain and may even see a smile cross our face as we think about a silly or happy memory.
Switching focus is a great way to control what kind of place the mind is, a heaven or a hell. When I find myself in particularly trying situations, I ask how I can use that to serve others. This obviously does not change my circumstances, but it certainly changes the person I bring to them. Finding ways to bring happiness and gratitude to any situation can turn a hell into a heaven. I would love to hear your secrets for making your mind a positive place to be.
Have you ever dreamt that you wake up with a new talent? Maybe you can play the piano, maybe speak another language? When you went to sleep it was something you could not do, but when you wake up you are perfect at it. Have you ever heard of this happening in real life? Of course not. Which is another reason to remember that honestly, there does not have to be anything called failure. The only time we really fail is when we give up. If we haven’t given up, it isn’t failure, it is just a lesson we have learned. Like playing the piano, where we might hit a wrong note more often than a right one, or speaking a new language when we accidentally call someone a pig when we just meant to say hello. We will make mistakes along the way.
This is far easier to understand intellectually than emotionally. I get that. In fact, I am one of the people who really hate to look foolish at anything. Luckily, I always have a beautiful woman to remind me I am learning and to cheer me on along the way. We must learn to be our own cheerleaders, however. We must also find a way to remind ourselves we are learning and not failing. How would you do this? I am open for suggestions.
When you are on the journey of self-improvement, you can often to run into people who seem to be going in the opposite direction. Maybe they are just sunshine-challenged. Worse, they may try to be a cloud to your sunshine. My first inclination was to try and help them improve their lives. That is a good thing to do. Some people suffer simply out of ignorance. They do not know what they do not know. Introducing them to some fun and simple self-improvement tools that could make their life happier and healthier is a noble venture. You would be giving them a gift greater than any other.
What happens when they reject you and your attempts to bring light into their lives? What happens when they continue to be a downer or even worse? I refer you to that great bit of wisdom, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.” Many people doubt that they can improve their lot in life. You can plant the seed, but if the soil is not fertile, it just will not grow. Rather than waste your time watering it and giving it all of your sunshine, use it as a reminder of what your life might look like if you do not work on your self-improvement. It helps me to even send them a ‘thank you’ for reminding me to stay on the sunny side of the street and keep a positive outlook. This is best done in your head. Changing the feelings of frustration with their behavior to one of gratitude for the reminder will make our life much less stressful. It will also decrease the likelihood that there will be a conflict between the two of you.
Remember that not everyone wishes to improve their lot in life. Working on saving the entire world is not only exhausting, it is a fool’s errand. Some are just happy leaving their life up to outside circumstances. Inside your head thank them for the reminder to maintain your own efforts. By maintaining a sunny disposition, they may come to you when they are ready to improve. If that day never comes, you will at least be less stressed by not spending the energy on watering a seed that will never grow.
