Have you ever given much thought about how you make others feel? It is my mission in life to leave the world a better place than I found it. When Margie and I DJ together, I tell her my three goals with everyone who walks in the door is to have them laugh, feel a little bit better about themselves then when they walked in. If it is a couple, I want them to be just that little more in love with each other when they leave us. To me, making someone feel good is one of the best rewards in life. How about you?
In a world where it seems everyone is trying to be heard, how many of us are listening to each other? Sarcasm seems to be the order of the day. People try to get a laugh, often at the expense of other people’s feelings. Many people lack the basic refinement skills. Do you consider how what you are going to say may affect another person? If you do, is it to uplift, empower and encourage them? Can you imagine if we all made that our goal? Today, think of how your conversation will affect those you share it with. Do your best to lighten the load of all of those you encounter. I would love to hear a story about how someone made your day!
Last post we talked about sending out messages of love and encouragement. Many people asked the same question, “Neil, I would love to send out a message, but what do I say?“It seems we are not used to sending out messages like this. It may even seem awkward at first. With practice, it will become easier and your words will become more impactful.
Back to the original question. What do we say in a message of love and encouragement? A good start is to ask yourself what would make you happy to hear from a friend. A safe bet is always gratitude and appreciation. Telling someone how much they mean to you and why is one of the best messages you can deliver.
Above are some examples of inspiring messages you could send. These are just to get you thinking. They can be tailored to your specific person. Another fun idea is to reflect on a fun memory the two of you share. It could be a vacation you took together, a nice dinner you shared or simply a cup of coffee and conversation you enjoyed. Positively reflectingon that could be enjoyablefor both of you.
How about you? Do you have any suggestions on good messages to send? By sharing our ideas with each other we inspire a revolution of love and encouragement!
How many hours do you spend on video games in a week? How much time playing solitaire or doing crossword puzzles? What do you achieve by getting better at these? How about increasing your income? How about spending time to look better in comparison to others or for society at large? When you think about it, most of our lives are spent in one or more of these endeavors. While I am sure all of them have their redeeming qualities, we should be focused on winning a different game – the inner game.
What I mean by the inner game, is mastering our thoughts and our attitude. When you stop and think about it, life is truly an inner game. The quality of our life, is the quality of our thoughts and emotions. If you are someone who sees what is wrong in life and generally feels angry towards the world and you win the lottery what will happen? You will be rich and…angry. If you can maintain a positive attitude despite outside circumstances, you have true power. Life, or other people and circumstances, will not be able to bring you down.
As you can see, this is not a new thought. Controlling your mind means that you are taking back control of your life. Not being subject to the whim of outside circumstances. Life has it’s ups and downs. Your mind and emotions do not have to. This is a lifelong journey. Much like physical fitness, mental fitness requires daily maintenance. Unfortunately, you do not workout one time and stay in shape forever. Same with gaining control over your mind and emotions. We slip up and act and say things when we are angry that we later regret. Can you see how even doing that less would make your life better?
How can we improve the quality of our thoughts, and thus the quality of our life? There are many options. I am still learning some myself. One of them is to develop an attitude of gratitude. Finding reasons to be grateful even when it seems impossible to do so will make your life amazing. Finding the opportunities in challenges. Some people just see a pile of manure, some people see fertilizer. Next time your life seems like a pile of the stuff that comes out the backside of an animal, ask yourself, “How can I use this to grow from?” Countless musicians, authors and artists have used the worst pain in their lives to create some of their best work. Why can’t you do the same? Also, look for other meanings in life. We can find ourself looking for the worst on occasion. Begin to train your mind to look for the best!
All of these suggestions can dramatically improve the quality of your thoughts and your life. If you would like more ideas to improve your life, feel free to pick up one, or all, of my books! Just search “Neil Panosian” on Amazon. Feel free to share what makes the difference for you in your thoughts and emotions in the comments below.
Everyone seems to be looking for the magic secret to their best life. Even the name of this website is Secret2anamazinglife.com. This may sound rather cliche, but success is really an inner game. The most powerful thing you can do is control your mind and control your emotions. That may sound simple on the surface, but it is far from easy. Most of us were not told this was even an option growing up. We were taught we were at the mercy of both our thoughts and emotions. That may be the case, but it is because we gave up that control to them.
A powerful and successful life is one were we can put our thoughts and emotions to work for us. The million dollar question is how do we get control over our thoughts and emotions? It is the small habits we do daily. It takes time. You have lived your whole life believing that outside circumstances determine how you feel and what you think. This does not have to be the case. Look at the items listed in the photo above. Doing any one of these can help you regain control over your life. Being present is something that is truly missing. We either are worried about the future, regretting the past, or just have our heads buried in our phones being distracted. Then we wake up one day wondering where all the time has went.
Try using the items as a daily checklist. See how many you can get in one day. Do not stress over getting themall, but try to see how many you can get. Being grateful is one of the ones I would suggest starting with. It makes a huge difference. It is impossible to experience a negative emotion while being grateful at the same time. That is a version of ‘addition by subtraction’. The more time you spend being grateful, the less time you will spend in a negative emotional state. One way you can start to take control over your emotional state.
I would love to know how you take control over your thoughts and feelings. Can you see the power in remaining calm when everything else is in chaos? Share your answers in the comments below.
Today is world compliment day! Leaving whether you live in Greenland, Zimbabwe or any wonderful country that follows us, we invite you to join in celebrating with us today? How are we going to do that? By doing 2 very simple and fun things.
First one should seem rather obvious. Compliment someone. We are talking about genuine, heartfelt compliment. Not some fake flattery. Bonus points if you do it somewhere public. Like if you post a random compliment on someone’s social media page, or even in the comments below. Mine would be for the love of my life. Even when she thinksthat she is not having her best day, I think she outshines everyone else in the room. Her natural beauty is better than most women could hope to achieve with anyone amount of makeup orhairstyle.
That part is not only fun, but rather easy as well. Feel free to do more than one. It is world compliment day after all. The second thing? Give yourself one genuine compliment. Positive self-talkcan be very difficult for many of us. Especially if we were raised to be humble. That doesn’t mean thereis not greatness inside each and every one of you. At the very least, you have great choice in what you are reading online! In all seriousness, Positive self-talkcan empower us to push on when we may feel like quitting.
That brings me to my compliment for myself. I am proud of the way I show up. Last night I got only 3.5 hours of sleep. Yet, I was up at 4am on my off day to come in and work. This is also the 972nd day in the row we have a post here. That is almost 3 years straight. Despite sickness, vacation and a crazy busy life, we have had something for you everyday.
How about you? What is something wonderful about someone in your life? What is awesome about you? Feel free to let us know in the comments below, but just make sure you let the world know!
This picture reminds me of a couple of things. First is the fact that for the first time in 4 years, Margie and I will not be going on a nice tropical vacation. Saving for a wedding will do that. Second, and most important for our time together today, is the power behind focus. These people are on the same bus, yet they are focused on two very different scenes. That focus will go a long way to determining the quality of their journey. The same is true in our life. That is why the power of gratitude, and developing an attitude of gratitude is so important.
In my own life, this could not be more true right now. My 2025 has started with these events. My grandmother on my father’s side passed away. Then, I dislocated my shoulder. Shortly there after I got an ear infection. Recently, my younger cousin on my mother’s side passed away. Nobody even knew she was sick. Yesterday, I found out my aunt on my father’s side passed away. All that and it is only February. Not quite the start to the year I would have chosen, but here we are. I could focus on all of this and start to predict what a miserable year I was having. If we looked at the facts, I could be excused for thinking and saying so.
While all of those above facts are true, here is some other things that are true as well. With the passing of my one cousin, I have reconnected with another cousin. I was able to purchase a new car which has made not going on vacation a little more tolerable. My health has rebounded and with therapy I am getting better every day. My beautiful lady and I continue to make progress planning our wedding for next year. Finally, there are words typed out to start the fourth book I have been working on for years. With any luck, it will even be published later this year. These facts are also true and are what I am deciding to focus on.
This is not me being ignorant to the fact that there is a good amount of challenging circumstances that have occurred in my life so far this year. It is just that I am choosing to focus on the ones that reflect all the blessings and good fortune I am grateful enough to have. I am choosing to be like our friend in the bus looking out the window. Yes, it is a choice. What wrong is always available. What right is also available to focus on as well.
Some may view that as ‘sticking your head in the sand’ or ‘looking at the world through rose-colored glasses’. As if it were somehow cheating hardship. The opposite is the truth. It takes more work to look for and focus on the positive. Especially when there can be so much negativity and chaos occurring around you. Being able to say confidently, “Despite all I may be going through, I sure have a lot to be grateful for.” takes a lot of courage and resilience.
Remember the axiom, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” What we focus on determines how we feel. How we feel determines the quality of our lives.
Many of us hide our true goals and ambitions from the world for fear of what they might think. It is time to ask yourself, it what ways have you been playing small? Why have you been doing so? In what ways might your world benefit from being who you truly are and chasing what it is that you really want?
Just a quick reminder to speak only truth and to do so diligently. Ask yourself, is what I am now saying truly reflect on who I am and what I wish people to think my character is?
It seems in our modern world people feel compelled to say something. Focus more on quality over quantity. This holds true for everything in life, but especially in our speech. Nobody enjoys being around someone who talks just to hear the sound of their own voice.
A quick parting thought. If you wish never to be thought a fool, speak life, empowerment, and encouragementto all that you encounter. There is always room for words that uplift.
Today is my mother’s birthday. Normally, this would be a post celebrating that fact. It still is, but this year is a little different. A little over a week ago, my cousin who is two years my junior passed away. None of the family even knew she was sick as she wanted to keep that to herself. Today is her funeral. It is a reminder of two very important things. The first is that life is cyclical. We are at once celebrating a birth and mourning a passing. It is the end of life that gives life its precious value.
This Latin phrase translates to “Death is certain, the hour uncertain.” It happens to be one of my lady’s favorite quotes. It is with some irony that her man experienced it first hand. Life can be likened to an hourglass. The sand in the hourglass that is forever running out is the time we have left here. In life, it is as if someone put a cloth on the top part of that hourglass preventing us from knowing how much time we have left. All we know is that the sand is less every second. It could be several years of sand left, or it could run out tomorrow. We are having a funeral for a woman two years younger than me, and celebrating the birth of a woman 17 years older than me. Proof that we never know when our time may be.
What we do with this knowledge is up to us. How much of life will we spend in fear and anger? How much will we spend in love and compassion? What legacy will we leave behind? When are we going to begin to work on it? We only have so many tomorrows left. What we do with today is entirely up to us.
We are all like this bar of iron. We have so much potential inside of us. What we do with that potential goes a long way to determine our worth. This is why it is so important to do what feeds your soul. You may not be lucky enough to do it for a living, but you can even pursue it on the side as a hobby. What you create and bring to the world will be amazing. When people live with passion, everyone in the world benefits.
Perhaps, like myself, you are in a job that does not make the best use of your talents. What you should do is find a way to put those talents on display. It may cost you some recreation time, and maybe even a little sleep. Let me assure you that the sleep you will get will be far better knowing that you allowed the gift inside you to see the light. It will not only bring you more inner peace, but may also lead to a new, more fulfilling career.
Another thing to be careful of is letting others determine your worth. Some may look at you and believe that you are that bar of iron. Not worth much. Try to limit your exposure to these people. Some can see the horse shoes or even the watch springs inside of you. Meaning, they can see how amazing you are even if you are not there yet. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and see the best in you. That belief may help you push yourself to be the best version of you that you can be.
