Tag: self improvement

IT IS LOVE, NOT AN ATTACK.

Recently, I hired a personal trainer. I have been going to the gym three times a week for years now. Getting another person’s, and a professional, guidance seemed like a good thing to throw in the mix. Between her knowledge of the fitness realm mixed with my knowledge of my body, we can get a lot accomplished. That is, if I am willing to work with her. Some of the things she has me do makes my muscles sore and certainly works muscles I may not use as often as I should. Although there is occasional cursing under the breath, it is not directed at her. After all, what she is having me do will make me a leaner and stronger person in the end.

This seems pretty obvious when it involves a personal trainer. The tricky part is when it also comes from those we love giving us constructive criticism. When we hear anything about us that is not pleasant, our first thought is often to rebel against it. This could include countering the point the person has made, or maybe even coming up with a return criticism of our own. In doing so, we miss the gift this could offer us. An outside view of an area of our person that may be lacking in some fashion.

When we are pushed to improve, it can not only be an act of love, but a demonstration of belief. It is showing that the other party believes that we can be better than what we truly are. It is true that this can still be difficult. This is especially true when the other party is not very skilled at delivering this pushing of us to get better. What will make us great is being able to take that criticism, no matter how it is delivered, and act instead of reacting. Thanking someone for pushing us to become greater despite how uncomfortable it makes us feel, is a secret to an amazing life.

FOR ME, LIFE IS TOO SHORT

Maybe it was the whole dying and coming back to life thing? Perhaps it is my deep desire to learn about people. It could be my goal of discovering and reminding people of the beauty within them. Whatever the reason, I learned I’m not very good at casual conversation. Anyone who has spent time with me socially can attest to that.

In life there is time for “nice weather we are having. ” type conversations. I just urge you to not be uncomfortable when someone dives deeper. In fact, take advantage of it. Foster those connections. Deepen that relationship. Life is fleeting. Let us all get comfortable with sharing our inner selves.

MAKE THE TIME ⏲️

As we approach the weekend, let make sure to schedule some time for self-care. I am a guilty as anyone when it comes to using the weekend to getting to chores we were too busy for during the week. We must remember in order to get the most productive version of ourselves, it requires maintenance.

If this still isn’t making sense to you, perhaps this analogy will help. It is like driving your car and insisting you cannot spend the time or expense for an oil change. Sooner or later, your car will break down and force you to stop. At that point it will take a lot longer than an oil change and be a lot more expensive.

Give yourself a little self-care this weekend. Whether that is a quiet walk in nature or a lively coffee with friends. Think of it as an oil change for your mind, body and spirit.

CHOOSE YOUR HARD 👷‍♀️

Many people complain about the time or effort it takes to improve themselves. As Earl Nightingale said, “the time will pass anyway. ” we should look to find ourselves better at the end of each day. As for effort, it requires sacrifice both to improve and not. As you can see by the examples above. Quite often, the result for not improving is much harder in the long run!

Today, if the thought of improving yourself seems too difficult, remember that there will be sacrifice either way. Cleaning your house is difficult. Having a dirty house and dealing with roaches and rats is far more difficult. Exercising can feel difficult. Having sickness,disease and a broken down body is far more difficult.

Let us take the advice of Earl Nightingale. The time will pass anyway. The question is, where will you be at the end of it?

HURT OR LESSON, WHERE IS YOUR FOCUS?

Talk about simple yet profound! This is really a secret to an amazing life. In life we will all experience hurt. There is no way around it. No matter how dedicated to living an amazing life we are, sometimes things just won’t go our way. What then? It is then that we approach a figurative ‘fork in the road’. We have a choice in front of us. One way will not only prohibit our self-improvement, it will actually lead to our decline. It will keep us stagnant. In a world that is moving and changing so quickly, being stagnant will mean being left behind. It will also add considerable mental, emotional and physical stress. Stress in all three areas, who would want that?

The other path in the fork in the road can lead us to a far different result. It can propel our growth in a far more rapid manner than before the hurt. It can not only not add any additional stress, it can transform the initial stress of the hurt into gratitude. This reduction in stress will lead to a greater sense of inner peace, a stronger immune system and better relationships. The rapid growth will lead to a feeling of accomplishment and a better relationship…with ourselves! Less stress, more joy and growth? Better relationships? Who wouldn’t want all of that.

In case it is not obvious. One path is focusing on the hurt, the other is finding the lesson. When we find the lesson in the hurt, we transform something that brought us down into something that can propel us forward. This is huge. Anytime you can take a negative and turn it into a positive, you win. This is one of those ways. You will reduce your stress and increase your feeling of accomplishment. I cannot count the times when I say to myself, or out loud, “That sucked, but it helped me become the person I am today.”

Today take the challenges of life and mine them for the lessons. The payoff will be nothing short of priceless. Instead of being stuck in the quagmire of hurt and sadness, you will be using them as stepping stones to move yourself, and your life forward!

YOU CAN’T CLEAN DIRT WITH DIRT 🧹

When I read this quote, I immediately loved it. It seems so logical on the surface. You might think it is something that everyone with half a brain would know. You should be right. When we look at what happens between countries on a global scale, however, it would seem those in the greatest positions of power missed this memo. How much retribution are we seeing. This country, or group of people, attack another group. Therefore, that group has to pay them back. That payback generates a retaliation from the first group. It creates and endless loop of violence.

While the examples may not be so great on a personal scale, the formula is the same. Someone hurts us so we hurt them. When they get hurt do they stop and think, “Wow. That must have been what it felt like when I hurt them originally. I feel this is my sign to wake up and improve my behavior.”? My guess is the answer would be a solid ‘No’. They are then feeling hurt and want to get back at us. It takes a well-trained and calm mind to react kindly when someone else hurts us.

This is not advocating letting others walk all over us. Not at all. What we are talking about is living life with thoughtful action and not emotional reaction. You might want to read that last line again. Living a life of emotional reaction is what can lead to generational abuse, and increasing the hate in the world. The negative news in the world can be overwhelming some days. One way to counteract that is to respond to darkness with light. To respond to hate with love. It is not easy and you may feel it makes you look weak. I think we all can admit you have to be a much stronger person to do so.

Today, respond to whatever negativity you encounter with positivity. It will not only reduce your stress and increase your inner peace. It will brighten and clean the world. Remember the quote above. You cannot clean dirt with dirt.

HOW TO CONDUCT YOURSELF THIS WEEK

This is an awesome way to not only approach the week, but life in general. It appears they didn’t call Ol’ Alex great for no reason. There are two parts of this to unpack, and they are really not all that different. Let us take a look at them one at a time.

The first part of the quote is to conduct ourselves that all men (people) wish to be our friend. This is an interesting task. When you think of the wide array of people in the world, how can everyone want to be your friend? That is next to impossible. What is possible is to adopt characteristics and live in such a fashion that any decent person would want to associate with us. I like to call it the ‘John Wayne way of living’. In the movies, Mr. Wayne always played an honest, straight forward man. A man who always did his best to do the right thing. How close the real John Wayne was to this character is up for debate, but does not really matter here.

What do you think are some universally admirable characteristics? Honesty for one. Even if you disagree with someone, if they know that you will tell them the truth, they will respect you. Doing our best to be compassionate towards others, especially those we differ with, is one of those traits we should adopt. We never know anyone’s complete story, so we should never assume to judge them. Working to continually improve yourself is another trait that should inspire people to want to associate with you. Everyone admires someone who not only acknowledges their faults, but is actively working to improve upon them. Staying humble and kind. Keeping a positive outlook, even in tough times, allows us to be a light for others. Who wouldn’t want more light in their lives?

The second part can be taken a couple of different ways. “and fear to be our enemies” Does this mean we should threaten and make people fear us? Not at all. Here is how I see it. When you develop the traits above, the world at large will develop a positive outlook on you. Many people will be happy and honored to call themselves your friends. If someone were to talk negatively about such a person, or to attempt to spread gossip about them, who do you think would end up looking bad? It would be the person doing the gossiping about a person that most people hold in high regard. Therefore, the best thing you can do to have people fearing to be your enemy is to be a friend to as many good people as you can.

Adopting this way of living will allow us to chart a course that will end in a life well lived. We will have blessed the lives of many while we are here and our memory will live on long after we are gone.

UNIQUE IS BETTER THAN BEST

This quote pretty much explains itself, but let us take a little deeper dive into it. So many of us are trying to be the best at something. That is good. Improvement in one’s life is a virtue. What we often fail to understand, is that being the most authentic version of ourselves will put us in our own unique category. In addition, if we truly want to be the best, we need to feel free to be ourselves.

Being ourselves should be one of the easiest things we do. Unfortunately, it is not. In a world that is pushing you to conform, being yourself can be viewed as an act of rebellion. It is easier to not ‘ruffle any feathers’ and do what is expected of us. That way everyone is happy, right? Wrong. We are not happy. When the world is full of people who do not feel free to be themselves, and are frustrated with the person they feel they have to be, bad things can happen. In the best case, they do not treat people as nice as they could. They also do not bring as much joy as they could, because they are not happy with themselves.

This is why it is so important to surround ourselves with people who love us for who we, while encouraging us to become better versions of ourselves. You may wish to be like that stunning actress or talented ball player. Do you know what they could never be? You! It is you the world needs. You are the only person who can be you. It is that you who might be needed to inspire, encourage or motivate someone. They might only respond to your voice, to who you are. Trust me when I tell you that the best thing you can become is who you truly are.

CHANGE WHAT YOU SEE 👀

Life sure has its challenges. That is something we are all aware of. One very powerful way we can take away a lot of the sting of those challenges, is to change the way we view them. This sounds all too simple, but that does not make it any less true. Our choice in how to view life is one of our greatest powers. Sadly, it is often one that is little used.

This quote by Wayne Dyer is very powerful if we put it to use. Think of people who try your patience. It could be a rude coworker. Perhaps one of those souls who are ignorant on how to use a turn signal. Whoever they are, they can drive us crazy 🤪 if we let them. What if we viewed them as trainers for our emotional state. It is easy to be happy and grateful when things are going great. Much like lifting weights in the gym, our ability to maintain our emotional state only comes through resistance.

I would love to hear about situations you have changed, or could change, just by changing the way you look at them.

GET YOURSELF ONE OF THESE!

Last post we discussed the importance of having ways to cheer yourself up. I would still love to hear any ideas you have for that. One of our readers (lbeth1950) mentioned she loves to call her best friend.

This reminded me how important it is to both have and be someone who brings joy into life. Do you have one of those friends you just feel better after spending time with? Are you one of those friends for someone else? It is vital we keep a group of people around us who brighten our spirits.

It is also important to have friends in all avenues. What I mean is to have friends you can call, friends you can message online, but most importantly, one’s you can physically connect with. Sometimes these friends will change avenues. My friend Curtis I enjoyed having coffee with and solving the world’s problems. He, and his wonderful family, moved to Las Vegas. Now it is more of an online friendship.

The point being, if you have a great friend, keep them even if you have to make some adjustments. One of the best ways to assure you have a group of amazing friends is to be one! Make sure whenever you have an opportunity to bring joy to the life of another you take it!