Tag: self improvement

I COULD NOT DO IT ALONE 😊

Today is the 999th day in a row we have posted content on this website. That means tomorrow is day 1000! It was an arbitrary goal set almost 3 years ago. When it was set, there were no thoughts of how long that actually was. Simple math could have shown it was a lot more of a journey than it seemed.

Some of the challenges faced in maintaining this content were vacation in the Bahamas. Yes, that doesn’t sound like much of an obstacle. Let me tell you, when you have to write before you can try the buffet or swim in turquoise water, it is a challenge. There of course were health challenges. Allergies, a cold, a Dislocated shoulder to name a few. There were also times I had no idea what to write about.

That is why it is so important to surround yourself with people who not only encourage and assist you with your goal, but hold you accountable to it. A debt is owed to so many. My friends Mary and Eduardo who are so kind as to share these posts on their social media. My mother who shares ideas of subjects she would like to hear discussed. This is very helpful. Everyone who engages through comments, likes and other manners. Even my friends in the great country of Greenland who give me other goals to reach.

A very special amount of gratitude to this lovely lady, my fiancee Margie. She not only provides the occasional idea for me to write about, but puts up with all of my crazy thoughts as a writer. She also does her best to make sure I get enough rest, and keeps my belly full of delicious food.

Each one of these amazing people helped this site reach 1000 days in a row of content. Without them, it would have been far more difficult, if not impossible. No great feat is accomplished alone. After tomorrow, I look forward to setting my sights on the next horizon. I would be honored if all of you would join us as we continue to help each other become the best version of ourselves and discover the secrets to an amazing life.

SHOUT OUT TO MY KIND OF PEOPLE! 🗣

I want to give a shout out to my kind of people. People who are just kind-hearted. Not for the want of getting anything, be that material or favors. No, just kind because that is who they are. It is my sincere hope that we all know people like this.

Do you know what hope I have that is even greater? That at some point, we all become one of those people. I can promise you this – your life is a lot more magical and full of joy the kinder you are to people. People treat you better when you treat them better. You get less stressed. You stress other people out a lot less. People smile more at you when you smile more at them.

With all of this being the case, why would you not want to live a life of kindness? I would love to hear your experience with a kind person and what you think others can do to be a kind person.

LET THE FLOWERS REMIND US 💐

It rains a lot here this time of year. Fairly gloomy and uninspiring. This is what happens as winter turns to spring. As we venture outside, we can be greeted by a cold spring rain and overcast skies. Hard to feel motivated and energetic in that situation. All you want to do is go back to bed.

Life can be like that too. Problems can seem to crop up one after another. Your job can feel like a dead-end. Just like the gloomy sky in our weather example. All you want to do is go back to bed.   Then just when you have no energy or motivation, another problem comes at you out of nowhere. Just like that cold spring rain.

As the season moves along, we start to see a little more of the sun. Before long, the temperature begins to slowly get warmer and one day you wake up and it seems the world has bloomed! Beautiful shapes and colors fill the land where once there was the gray drab of winter remained.

To people like my good friend Shannon, who loves plants, this must seem like heaven. To me, who hates winter, this feels like freedom after the prison of winter. To Margie, who longer has to put up with me, it must feel like she is free from her own punishment. Seriously, it is a magical time.

Life is also like that. After our rain and gloom, flowers start to bloom. When we look back, we see the rain was necessary for the flowers. Without the rain, they would never bloom. Without facing some of the adversity we face, the joy in our lives may never have bloomed. When we see the spring flowers, let them remind us the rain was necessary.

THE BEST DEFEAT, THE ONLY DEFEAT 💪

If we are to rally against anything in life, it should be the version of ourselves that is less than we know we could be. It is one of the greatest battles we will ever face, and one that never ends. This may sound overwhelming, but it really is not.

Yes, it is true we must be diligent every day to make sure we strive to be the best version of ourselves. Even when we achieve that goal, we must work hard to maintain it. If we conquer our temptations and fix our diet, we know that sugar craving is there hiding waiting to stage a sneak attack. If we go to the gym and get our body back in shape, we must fight to maintain that. There will be the temptation to take a day off, which will lead to another, then another.

This fight will go on for the rest of our lives. It is not that we can never claim victory. We can, in fact, claim victory every night that we know we did our best. Every time we live up to our standards. We can win the battles daily. When are days are winding down, we will know if we have one enough battles to win the war. That is to say, we have lived enough good days to have made it a good life.

One final note. Far too many of us meet sudden and unexpected ends. That is why it is so important to defeat the bad version of ourselves daily. We want to start stacking those victories as soon as we can. How about you? Can you declare victory today?

REMEMBER TO HAVE FUN 👍

Here is a reminder that in the midst of spring cleaning, working on getting that summer body back and wondering where our New Year resolutions went, that we should always have a little fun.

The quote in the picture above captures this perfectly. Feet dirty, hair messy and eyes sparkling. The first thing that came to mind was a charity race I did a few years with Margie’s daughter. It was 30 obstacles in about 5 miles. Raised money for children with cancer. At the end of it, we were covered in mud, scrapes and pride. Not only had we completed the challenge, we raised money for a great cause. Our eyes were sparkling.

The next thing I thought of was children. When we are young, every day is an adventure. We dive right into life. Our feet are usually dirty, our hair is usually messy, but our eyes are usually sparkling. I think we need more of that as adults. I would love to hear what you do to put the sparkle back into your eyes.

LET US CELEBRATE TOGETHER 🙌

Today is International Client Day. A celebration of all the people that make your business possible. If I am being honest, I think of the people that follow this site, or purchase my books, more as a family than clients. A like-minded community of individuals striving for a better life and to become the best version of themselves.

I am certainly grateful for every person who has ever read a word here. You are part of the family. Even more impactful are those who comment. Sharing your thoughts and opinions add quality and content to what we all share and learn here. Whether that is on this very site, in our Facebook group or anywhere else. In places such as Italy, Lebanon and England I have received great advice on books to read, people to listen to and thoughts to ponder.

All of our family, which some may call ‘clients’ I am eternally grateful! Thank you for sharing this journey with me!

DISCIPLINE BUILDS WHAT MOTIVATION CAN’T 💪

Being a big fan of motivation, this quote holds extra sway. Motivation can inspire action. It is like a match that lights a fire. The tricky bit about motivation is that it varies. It can be up one day and be quite hard to find on another day. If we only did things when we felt motivated to do so, our lives would be a lot worse off. Can you imagine what your bank account would look like if you only went to work when you felt like it? How about if you only paid the electric bill when you felt motivated to do so? The house would probably be pretty dark.

Motivation can lead us down the wrong path on occasion. Like in the picture above. You may be motivated to eat half a pizza because it tastes good. If you follow doing what feels pleasurable in the moment, you can be in for a lifetime of regret and consequences. If you have the discipline to eat things that fuel your body and not just your tastebuds, you may not have the momentary joy, but you will have a long-term reward of good health. Here is the unfortunate truth, people will often discourage you from making good choices making discipline even more difficult. You will hear things such as “One bad meal won’t make that much difference.” or “You went to the gym a couple days ago. You deserve some rest.” Momentary pleasure can lead to a lifetime of regret.

Another reason to choose discipline over motivation is that it is not dependent on the opinions of others. If doing the right action for you depends on the applause and encouragement of others, what do you do when you are alone? We should work on being able to do the right thing when nobody is applauding us. Often, we can find criticism coming in our direction when we are working on discipline. Hearing things such as, “He is not at fun as he used to be. Never goes to the club and is always at the gym.” Months and years later when you are healthy and enjoying life, and their liver is shot, suddenly they may not think ‘living for the moment’ is so fun.

I am not advocating doing away with anything fun in your life. We need escapes in this stressful world. What I am cautioning against is becoming a slave to pleasure or relying on motivation to take the actions you know you need to take. Motivation is great and I encourage you to get as much of it into your life as you can. I have many great ways to do so here on this site and in my 3 books. While you are looking for ways to keep you motivated, make sure to work on your self-discipline. It will take over when motivation is no place to be found.

BE THE PERSON 😃

Anyone who knows me, or has followed this blog for any length of time, knows that I am a big fan of Mr. Rogers. I refer to him as one of my favorite modern-day philosophers. Many people think that his teachings were just for children. I could not disagree more. In today’s world, how many times have we seen adults acting out and think to ourselves, “They should have watched Mr. Roger’s episode on what to do when you feel angry.” Basic human decency and handling our own emotions are skills many of us could use a little refresher on from time to time.

There is something else that Mr. Rogers did for us that does not get enough attention. He was always one of our biggest fans. Even though he did not know many people personally, through the medium of television, he conveyed a genuine message of respect and appreciation for all of his ‘neighbors’ watching at home. We were reminded that there was something special inside each one of us. How many people in our lives speak to us this way? How many people tell us that they like us just the way we are? I am guessing not too many.

We may fall short of this belief in our character. We may speak to, or treat someone harshly. We may not do as good of job as we are able. We may not live up to our ability. Here is the thing, Mr. Rogers explained that it is important to love someone a little bit extra during those times. What a great lesson this is. We can apply it to our friends, our coworker and even our spouse. When people are disappointed in themselves, that is when they need to be loved the most. Next time you know someone has fallen short, let them know that you still “Like them just the way they are.” It will mean a lot to them and positively transform your relationship with them.

One of the most important people that we can practice this on is the person in the mirror. How many times have we done something that did not live up to our standards and then continued to punish ourselves for it long after the event? You might have been trying to eat better but caved in and had one of the free doughnuts in the break room. You meant to keep in touch with friends and relatives better, but life got busy and here it is a week later and you haven’t called. We can get down on ourselves and continue to put ourselves down for what was a step on becoming the best version of ourselves.

Nobody likes to feel the pain of regret and disappointment for an action they have taken. Here is a secret. That pain can often be a great driving force to improve our actions and attitude going forward. This I can speak to first hand. I have made many mistakes in my life, and will no doubt make many more. Do I feel disappointed in myself sometimes? Sure. I do my best to put those feelings of disappointment to work on motivating me to become the best version of myself. Even when I drop the ball and make mistakes, I know my intention is to improve and be more kind, compassionate and loving to those around me. Mistakes can be beneficial too. Knowing that even with my mistakes, I am still worthy of love and respect allows me to look in the mirror and say, “There’s no person in the world like you, and I like you just the way you are.” Does this take a while sometimes? Absolutely. Especially when I have made a big mistake. What I learned from Mr. Rogers is that it is important to be able to say this to both others and ourselves. That is the secret to compassion. That is the secret to love.

IT SAYS A LOT ABOUT YOU

Have you ever given much thought about how you make others feel? It is my mission in life to leave the world a better place than I found it. When Margie and I DJ together, I tell her my three goals with everyone who walks in the door is to have them laugh, feel a little bit better about themselves then when they walked in. If it is a couple, I want them to be just that little more in love with each other when they leave us. To me, making someone feel good is one of the best rewards in life. How about you?

In a world where it seems everyone is trying to be heard, how many of us are listening to each other? Sarcasm seems to be the order of the day. People try to get a laugh, often at the expense of other people’s feelings. Many people lack the basic refinement skills. Do you consider how what you are going to say may affect another person? If you do, is it to uplift, empower and encourage them? Can you imagine if we all made that our goal? Today, think of how your conversation will affect those you share it with. Do your best to lighten the load of all of those you encounter. I would love to hear a story about how someone made your day!

WHAT DO YOU SAY? 😟

Last post we talked about sending out messages of love and encouragement. Many people asked the same question, “Neil, I would love to send out a message, but what do I say?“ It seems we are not used to sending out messages like this. It may even seem awkward at first. With practice, it will become easier and your words will become more impactful.

Back to the original question. What do we say in a message of love and encouragement? A good start is to ask yourself what would make you happy to hear from a friend. A safe bet is always gratitude and appreciation. Telling someone how much they mean to you and why is one of the best messages you can deliver.

Above are some examples of inspiring messages you could send. These are just to get you thinking. They can be tailored to your specific person. Another fun idea is to reflect on a fun memory the two of you share. It could be a vacation you took together, a nice dinner you shared or simply a cup of coffee and conversation you enjoyed. Positively reflecting on that could be enjoyable for both of you.

How about you? Do you have any suggestions on good messages to send? By sharing our ideas with each other we inspire a revolution of love and encouragement!