Tag: self improvement

THE BEST DEFEAT, THE ONLY DEFEAT 💪

If we are to rally against anything in life, it should be the version of ourselves that is less than we know we could be. It is one of the greatest battles we will ever face, and one that never ends. This may sound overwhelming, but it really is not.

Yes, it is true we must be diligent every day to make sure we strive to be the best version of ourselves. Even when we achieve that goal, we must work hard to maintain it. If we conquer our temptations and fix our diet, we know that sugar craving is there hiding waiting to stage a sneak attack. If we go to the gym and get our body back in shape, we must fight to maintain that. There will be the temptation to take a day off, which will lead to another, then another.

This fight will go on for the rest of our lives. It is not that we can never claim victory. We can, in fact, claim victory every night that we know we did our best. Every time we live up to our standards. We can win the battles daily. When are days are winding down, we will know if we have one enough battles to win the war. That is to say, we have lived enough good days to have made it a good life.

One final note. Far too many of us meet sudden and unexpected ends. That is why it is so important to defeat the bad version of ourselves daily. We want to start stacking those victories as soon as we can. How about you? Can you declare victory today?

REMEMBER TO HAVE FUN 👍

Here is a reminder that in the midst of spring cleaning, working on getting that summer body back and wondering where our New Year resolutions went, that we should always have a little fun.

The quote in the picture above captures this perfectly. Feet dirty, hair messy and eyes sparkling. The first thing that came to mind was a charity race I did a few years with Margie’s daughter. It was 30 obstacles in about 5 miles. Raised money for children with cancer. At the end of it, we were covered in mud, scrapes and pride. Not only had we completed the challenge, we raised money for a great cause. Our eyes were sparkling.

The next thing I thought of was children. When we are young, every day is an adventure. We dive right into life. Our feet are usually dirty, our hair is usually messy, but our eyes are usually sparkling. I think we need more of that as adults. I would love to hear what you do to put the sparkle back into your eyes.

LET US CELEBRATE TOGETHER 🙌

Today is International Client Day. A celebration of all the people that make your business possible. If I am being honest, I think of the people that follow this site, or purchase my books, more as a family than clients. A like-minded community of individuals striving for a better life and to become the best version of themselves.

I am certainly grateful for every person who has ever read a word here. You are part of the family. Even more impactful are those who comment. Sharing your thoughts and opinions add quality and content to what we all share and learn here. Whether that is on this very site, in our Facebook group or anywhere else. In places such as Italy, Lebanon and England I have received great advice on books to read, people to listen to and thoughts to ponder.

All of our family, which some may call ‘clients’ I am eternally grateful! Thank you for sharing this journey with me!

DISCIPLINE BUILDS WHAT MOTIVATION CAN’T 💪

Being a big fan of motivation, this quote holds extra sway. Motivation can inspire action. It is like a match that lights a fire. The tricky bit about motivation is that it varies. It can be up one day and be quite hard to find on another day. If we only did things when we felt motivated to do so, our lives would be a lot worse off. Can you imagine what your bank account would look like if you only went to work when you felt like it? How about if you only paid the electric bill when you felt motivated to do so? The house would probably be pretty dark.

Motivation can lead us down the wrong path on occasion. Like in the picture above. You may be motivated to eat half a pizza because it tastes good. If you follow doing what feels pleasurable in the moment, you can be in for a lifetime of regret and consequences. If you have the discipline to eat things that fuel your body and not just your tastebuds, you may not have the momentary joy, but you will have a long-term reward of good health. Here is the unfortunate truth, people will often discourage you from making good choices making discipline even more difficult. You will hear things such as “One bad meal won’t make that much difference.” or “You went to the gym a couple days ago. You deserve some rest.” Momentary pleasure can lead to a lifetime of regret.

Another reason to choose discipline over motivation is that it is not dependent on the opinions of others. If doing the right action for you depends on the applause and encouragement of others, what do you do when you are alone? We should work on being able to do the right thing when nobody is applauding us. Often, we can find criticism coming in our direction when we are working on discipline. Hearing things such as, “He is not at fun as he used to be. Never goes to the club and is always at the gym.” Months and years later when you are healthy and enjoying life, and their liver is shot, suddenly they may not think ‘living for the moment’ is so fun.

I am not advocating doing away with anything fun in your life. We need escapes in this stressful world. What I am cautioning against is becoming a slave to pleasure or relying on motivation to take the actions you know you need to take. Motivation is great and I encourage you to get as much of it into your life as you can. I have many great ways to do so here on this site and in my 3 books. While you are looking for ways to keep you motivated, make sure to work on your self-discipline. It will take over when motivation is no place to be found.

BE THE PERSON 😃

Anyone who knows me, or has followed this blog for any length of time, knows that I am a big fan of Mr. Rogers. I refer to him as one of my favorite modern-day philosophers. Many people think that his teachings were just for children. I could not disagree more. In today’s world, how many times have we seen adults acting out and think to ourselves, “They should have watched Mr. Roger’s episode on what to do when you feel angry.” Basic human decency and handling our own emotions are skills many of us could use a little refresher on from time to time.

There is something else that Mr. Rogers did for us that does not get enough attention. He was always one of our biggest fans. Even though he did not know many people personally, through the medium of television, he conveyed a genuine message of respect and appreciation for all of his ‘neighbors’ watching at home. We were reminded that there was something special inside each one of us. How many people in our lives speak to us this way? How many people tell us that they like us just the way we are? I am guessing not too many.

We may fall short of this belief in our character. We may speak to, or treat someone harshly. We may not do as good of job as we are able. We may not live up to our ability. Here is the thing, Mr. Rogers explained that it is important to love someone a little bit extra during those times. What a great lesson this is. We can apply it to our friends, our coworker and even our spouse. When people are disappointed in themselves, that is when they need to be loved the most. Next time you know someone has fallen short, let them know that you still “Like them just the way they are.” It will mean a lot to them and positively transform your relationship with them.

One of the most important people that we can practice this on is the person in the mirror. How many times have we done something that did not live up to our standards and then continued to punish ourselves for it long after the event? You might have been trying to eat better but caved in and had one of the free doughnuts in the break room. You meant to keep in touch with friends and relatives better, but life got busy and here it is a week later and you haven’t called. We can get down on ourselves and continue to put ourselves down for what was a step on becoming the best version of ourselves.

Nobody likes to feel the pain of regret and disappointment for an action they have taken. Here is a secret. That pain can often be a great driving force to improve our actions and attitude going forward. This I can speak to first hand. I have made many mistakes in my life, and will no doubt make many more. Do I feel disappointed in myself sometimes? Sure. I do my best to put those feelings of disappointment to work on motivating me to become the best version of myself. Even when I drop the ball and make mistakes, I know my intention is to improve and be more kind, compassionate and loving to those around me. Mistakes can be beneficial too. Knowing that even with my mistakes, I am still worthy of love and respect allows me to look in the mirror and say, “There’s no person in the world like you, and I like you just the way you are.” Does this take a while sometimes? Absolutely. Especially when I have made a big mistake. What I learned from Mr. Rogers is that it is important to be able to say this to both others and ourselves. That is the secret to compassion. That is the secret to love.

IT SAYS A LOT ABOUT YOU

Have you ever given much thought about how you make others feel? It is my mission in life to leave the world a better place than I found it. When Margie and I DJ together, I tell her my three goals with everyone who walks in the door is to have them laugh, feel a little bit better about themselves then when they walked in. If it is a couple, I want them to be just that little more in love with each other when they leave us. To me, making someone feel good is one of the best rewards in life. How about you?

In a world where it seems everyone is trying to be heard, how many of us are listening to each other? Sarcasm seems to be the order of the day. People try to get a laugh, often at the expense of other people’s feelings. Many people lack the basic refinement skills. Do you consider how what you are going to say may affect another person? If you do, is it to uplift, empower and encourage them? Can you imagine if we all made that our goal? Today, think of how your conversation will affect those you share it with. Do your best to lighten the load of all of those you encounter. I would love to hear a story about how someone made your day!

WHAT DO YOU SAY? 😟

Last post we talked about sending out messages of love and encouragement. Many people asked the same question, “Neil, I would love to send out a message, but what do I say?“ It seems we are not used to sending out messages like this. It may even seem awkward at first. With practice, it will become easier and your words will become more impactful.

Back to the original question. What do we say in a message of love and encouragement? A good start is to ask yourself what would make you happy to hear from a friend. A safe bet is always gratitude and appreciation. Telling someone how much they mean to you and why is one of the best messages you can deliver.

Above are some examples of inspiring messages you could send. These are just to get you thinking. They can be tailored to your specific person. Another fun idea is to reflect on a fun memory the two of you share. It could be a vacation you took together, a nice dinner you shared or simply a cup of coffee and conversation you enjoyed. Positively reflecting on that could be enjoyable for both of you.

How about you? Do you have any suggestions on good messages to send? By sharing our ideas with each other we inspire a revolution of love and encouragement!

YOU ARE TRYING TO WIN AT THE WRONG GAME! 🎮

How many hours do you spend on video games in a week? How much time playing solitaire or doing crossword puzzles? What do you achieve by getting better at these? How about increasing your income? How about spending time to look better in comparison to others or for society at large? When you think about it, most of our lives are spent in one or more of these endeavors. While I am sure all of them have their redeeming qualities, we should be focused on winning a different game – the inner game.

What I mean by the inner game, is mastering our thoughts and our attitude. When you stop and think about it, life is truly an inner game. The quality of our life, is the quality of our thoughts and emotions. If you are someone who sees what is wrong in life and generally feels angry towards the world and you win the lottery what will happen? You will be rich and…angry. If you can maintain a positive attitude despite outside circumstances, you have true power. Life, or other people and circumstances, will not be able to bring you down.

As you can see, this is not a new thought. Controlling your mind means that you are taking back control of your life. Not being subject to the whim of outside circumstances. Life has it’s ups and downs. Your mind and emotions do not have to. This is a lifelong journey. Much like physical fitness, mental fitness requires daily maintenance. Unfortunately, you do not workout one time and stay in shape forever. Same with gaining control over your mind and emotions. We slip up and act and say things when we are angry that we later regret. Can you see how even doing that less would make your life better?

How can we improve the quality of our thoughts, and thus the quality of our life? There are many options. I am still learning some myself. One of them is to develop an attitude of gratitude. Finding reasons to be grateful even when it seems impossible to do so will make your life amazing. Finding the opportunities in challenges. Some people just see a pile of manure, some people see fertilizer. Next time your life seems like a pile of the stuff that comes out the backside of an animal, ask yourself, “How can I use this to grow from?” Countless musicians, authors and artists have used the worst pain in their lives to create some of their best work. Why can’t you do the same? Also, look for other meanings in life. We can find ourself looking for the worst on occasion. Begin to train your mind to look for the best!

All of these suggestions can dramatically improve the quality of your thoughts and your life. If you would like more ideas to improve your life, feel free to pick up one, or all, of my books! Just search “Neil Panosian” on Amazon. Feel free to share what makes the difference for you in your thoughts and emotions in the comments below.

TRY JUST ONE ☝️

Everyone seems to be looking for the magic secret to their best life. Even the name of this website is Secret2anamazinglife.com. This may sound rather cliche, but success is really an inner game. The most powerful thing you can do is control your mind and control your emotions. That may sound simple on the surface, but it is far from easy. Most of us were not told this was even an option growing up. We were taught we were at the mercy of both our thoughts and emotions. That may be the case, but it is because we gave up that control to them.

A powerful and successful life is one were we can put our thoughts and emotions to work for us. The million dollar question is how do we get control over our thoughts and emotions? It is the small habits we do daily. It takes time. You have lived your whole life believing that outside circumstances determine how you feel and what you think. This does not have to be the case. Look at the items listed in the photo above. Doing any one of these can help you regain control over your life. Being present is something that is truly missing. We either are worried about the future, regretting the past, or just have our heads buried in our phones being distracted. Then we wake up one day wondering where all the time has went.

Try using the items as a daily checklist. See how many you can get in one day. Do not stress over getting them all, but try to see how many you can get. Being grateful is one of the ones I would suggest starting with. It makes a huge difference. It is impossible to experience a negative emotion while being grateful at the same time. That is a version of ‘addition by subtraction’. The more time you spend being grateful, the less time you will spend in a negative emotional state. One way you can start to take control over your emotional state.

I would love to know how you take control over your thoughts and feelings. Can you see the power in remaining calm when everything else is in chaos? Share your answers in the comments below.

TWO FUN THINGS TO DO TODAY! 😃

Today is world compliment day! Leaving  whether you live in Greenland, Zimbabwe or any wonderful country that follows us, we invite you to join in celebrating with us today? How are we going to do that? By doing 2 very simple and fun things.

First one should seem rather obvious. Compliment someone. We are talking about genuine, heartfelt compliment. Not some fake flattery. Bonus points if you do it somewhere public. Like if you post a random compliment on someone’s social media page, or even in the comments below. Mine would be for the love of my life. Even when she thinks that she is not having her best day, I think she outshines everyone else in the room. Her natural beauty is better than most women could hope to achieve with anyone amount of makeup or hairstyle.

That part is not only fun, but rather easy as well. Feel free to do more than one. It is world compliment day after all. The second thing? Give yourself one genuine compliment. Positive self-talk can be very difficult for many of us. Especially if we were raised to be humble. That doesn’t mean there is not greatness inside each and every one of you. At the very least, you have great choice in what you are reading online! In all seriousness, Positive self-talk can empower us to push on when we may feel like quitting.

That brings me to my compliment for myself. I am proud of the way I show up. Last night I got only 3.5 hours of sleep. Yet, I was up at 4am on my off day to come in and work. This is also the 972nd day in the row we have a post here. That is almost 3 years straight. Despite sickness, vacation and a crazy busy life, we have had something for you everyday.

How about you? What is something wonderful about someone in your life? What is awesome about you? Feel free to let us know in the comments below, but just make sure you let the world know!