Tag: self-improvement

DEAD PEOPLE RECEIVE MORE FLOWERS 💐

What a powerful thought for us courtesy of Anne Frank. In case you are ignorant to who Anne Frank was, she was a young Jewish girl who kept a diary while hiding in an attic from the Nazi invasion in Amsterdam. Her surviving diary gave us a great insight into what it was like during those dark times.

This particular thought is powerful because it is so true. We see people overcome with emotion at funerals. Flowers are everywhere. This is as it should be. Losing a person is the most difficult thing we go through in life. The worse emotion people experience at a funeral is seldom loss. No, worse is the emotion of regret. What we should have said, or the time we should have spent. Regret can haunt us for the rest of our lives. It can also serve as one of the best reminders and motivators to change our behavior in the future.

What should be just as, if not more, powerful is our gratitude for the people we have in our lives. Take one person that is really special in your life. Think about everything you are grateful for about that person. Do this for at the very least 30 minutes. How long do you think that list would be? Just in passing, as I write this, my list is quite long. When you focus solely on what you are grateful for about any special individual in your life, those feelings should begin to swell. When we realize how lucky we are to share life with these amazing souls, we would want to cover the room they are in with flowers!

Still not convinced? Try using the opposite end of the spectrum. Imagine everything you would lose and how much pain and lose you would feel should you lose this person tomorrow. Not very fun, I know. What it will do is help you appreciate the great gifts this person brings to your life. Combine them both and you will be surprised at how you are feeling. It may not make you want to buy them flowers, but it will overwhelm you with a feeling of gratitude for sharing life with them. When you are full of emotions such as this, can you imagine the impact it will have on your relationship with them?

Try doing this with a different person each week. You will see your relationships taken to an entirely different level. Don’t take my word for this. What takes us from the life we have to the life we love is action! Try this for yourself. Just a focused, uninterrupted 30 minutes of gratitude for one individual. Maybe do it for a week straight. They do not even have to know you are doing it. Watch what it does to your relationship with them. Not to ruin the secret, but there is an added benefit. You will be filled with more inner joy than you can imagine. Feeling gratitude is a great antidote to all of life’s trouble. The more we talk about this, the more I am excited to put this into action myself. How about you? Is there someone special in your life that you are extremely grateful for? Don’t you think they are worth 30 minutes a day of your time for a week? You owe it to them, and you owe it to yourself. Take your life, and your relationships, to the next level.

POWER TO CHANGE ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE! 🫡

Here is a concept that many of us seem unable to grasp. In fact, the number of people fleeing from this great opportunity. The opportunity I am speaking of, is to claim responsibility for every situation in your life. Many people think the opportunity is to find someone else to blame. This may seem like the easy way out, but the opposite is actually true. If it is “someone else’s fault” then it is easy to shrug our shoulders and believe there is nothing we can do about it. Do you know what happens to improve our life when we believe there is nothing we can do about what is challenging us? Do you know what changes when we constantly believe that we are the victim? Not. A. Damn. Thing.

This point was driven home by reading the great book above. Extreme Ownership is a book that will allow you to better understand the power that comes with taking responsibility for every situation in your life. Circumstances may be beyond your control, but how you deal with them is not. When we are constantly blaming others and pointing our fingers, we are putting the keys to our life in their pocket. If we find ourselves saying things such as, “They made me mad.” We are admitting ‘They’ have control over our emotional well-being. If we say, “I chose to get upset over their actions.” That puts the onus right where it belongs, on our own doorstep figuratively speaking.

This is also where it will do the most good. When we take responsibility for something, then we have the power to change it. The more we take ownership for in our life, the more we can control. When we transfer the responsibility to others, we are left feeling helpless in our own lives. An interesting thing happens when we begin taking responsibility, we gain respect from others. Consider you are having a disagreement with another party. This could be a friend, a coworker or even your spouse. If they say (because we know you are more enlightened now) “It is your fault!” or point out everything you did wrong, how will that make you feel? Will you hold them in high esteem for bringing your faults to your attention? I am guessing the answer will be a hard ‘no’. Now, what if that same person said, “This is my fault. I could have handled this better.” Maybe they even go further to list what they did to contribute to the problem and promise to work on those things for next time? What would your opinion be of them now? What if you knew you did at least a little something that may have contributed to the problem yourself? I am guessing that despite feeling a great deal of angst for them in the moment, you could not help but respect their ownership of the problem.

One of my favorite ways this comes in handy is when we make mistakes. This also happens to be one of the most difficult times to use this. When we make a mistake, we already feel bad. It can be very tempting to look for circumstances beyond our control to blame it on. What does this do to other’s opinions of us? Does it increase their trust in us? Probably not. What about someone who stands up and admits their mistakes? Who displays ownership for them? This is someone you are likely to trust more. You know they will own, and learn from, the things they do wrong.

In your own life I recommend taking ownership over as much as you can. This may be a difficult for many of us, but it will lead to massive growth and a better life in the long run. To get a jump start on this, pick up your own copy of Extreme Ownership.

WHY YOU SHOULD MAKE YOUR MESS YOUR MESSAGE ✉️

The thought today is such an important one. It is my firm belief that everyone should share their story. With the options in media we have to choose from, there really is no excuse not to. You could do it in a podcast. You could write a blog like this one. You could write your own book. You could become a speaker and share your message that way. Whatever way you choose, it would benefit the world if you were to share it.

When I say this, people struggle with the fact that their message is one worth sharing. “I am just a house wife.” or “I am just a server/bartender/barista.” they say. How many other people fill that same role around the world? Do you think they would love to read about the challenges you face? Do you think they could benefit from shaking their head saying, “Yep, I’ve been there!” I think you know the answer is yes.

The other challenge people have when it comes to sharing their story is they think they are not a success. I have heard them say, “I haven’t done everything right. I am still a mess.” That’s great! Do you know how many of us are still learning? That would be all of us. Sometimes hearing everyone’s success stories can make us feel like even more of a failure. To hear that there is someone who is still has not figured it all out, may give them hope and assure them they are not alone. This is why it is so important to share your story.

Remember to share your story. Your ‘mess’ can be just the message someone needs to hear. You can share your message in so many different ways. Each one can touch a different soul. You, and your story could very well be the answer to someone’s prayer.

DOING THIS RUINS YOUR PRODUCTIVITY 👷‍♂️

When I was growing up, multi-tasking was the ‘in’ thing to do. Sadly, there is nothing that ruins productivity more. Firstly, you can’t truly work on multiple tasks at the same time. Our brains are not wired for that. Even if I had 2 computers going at the same time, I could not write both my books and my blogs at the same time. They would end up coming out in a language that does not even exist. If I were to write a book for 5 minutes, then switch to my blog writing computer and let us throw in running over to my microphone to add an episode to the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. What kind of quality content do you think I would be putting out? It would be garbage. I would be chasing 2, or in this case 3, rabbits and end up catching none.

A far better course of action is to become laser-focused on one activity, finish it and become focused on the next. Do you know how long it takes the brain, on average, to regain focus? The answer is 23 minutes. Now, if we are constantly switching from one task to another we are never fully in focus on any one of them. In the end, this will cost us both time and productivity. Just at the point where we are getting in focus and our brains are adjusting to the task we are working on, we switch gears. This makes little to no sense. Let us look at an even better example.

I like trees, and I hope none are harmed in the reading of this post, but the point should be pretty clear. When we are multi-tasking, we are hitting that tree in a 1000 different places. When we are focusing our efforts and hitting that tree 1000 times in the same spot, we will accomplish our goal in a far quicker time. Think of this next time you want to work on a million projects at the same time.

Let us begin to train our focus to work on one thing at a time. We will not only use our brains to their greatest potential, we will accomplish a lot more and do it in a far shorter amount of time. By developing this habit, we will make the coming year the most productive, and a lot less stressful, year that we have had in a long time.

LET US CLOSE IT OUT RIGHT! 🏁

I have to confess something. When I first began this journey of self-improvement, saying like this drove me crazy. “You have to be something before you can have it.” “You have to feel abundant, before you can be abundant.” None of this made sense to me. How can you feel abundant, when you are not? How can you feel fit when you are not? It is really about being on the same frequency as that which you desire. Another saying that made little sense to me when I started out, so let me break it down a little further for you. When you identify as someone who is ‘healthy’ but your body says that you could be a spokesperson for a value meal, how does that compute? Simple, you have to start somewhere. When you are beginning to be something new, you are still starting from where you were.

Here are a few more terms to confuse us. Energy, frequency and vibration, what do they all mean? Nikola Tesla was a genius, and I am sure he could explain it far better than I could. We could look into how at its core, everything is energy and the way of measuring an objects frequency is cycles per second or how often an object vibrates in a repetitive motion. Anyone up for that discussion? Me neither. I would much rather refer to these three in terms of ‘identity’. When you identify as a healthy person, you have that frequency, vibration and energy. Here is the tricky part, when shifting energies, the old energy does not give up very easily. However, if you truly want to identify as a healthy person, that is powerful. There are few things as powerful to a person as their sense of identity.

If you begin telling others, and more importantly yourself, that you are now a healthy person, you will act and think in a certain way. You will begin to eat to fuel your body and not just to entertain your taste buds. You will look at fitness as something you get to do and not something you have to do. If, you find yourself in the drive thru at McDonalds, it may occur to you this is not something a healthy person would do…several times a week. That is the problem with the “6 -minute abs” way of thinking. Diets and fitness fads do little to change the identity of the person involved. Therefore, their success will be both limited in terms of success and duration.

As we close the year out, let us work on a more powerful sense of identity for ourselves. At the end of the day, it is something we determine for ourselves. This, is one of the main stepping stones for a lot of people in this social media world. We pay far too much attention to other people’s opinions. Les Brown has a saying, “Never let someone’s opinion of you become your reality.” This is especially true when starting something new. When you are beginning a new journey, people are all too happy to point out where you were or how far you have to go. “You are going to be healthy? The guy who ate an entire pizza at the holiday party?” That is who you were, not who you are going to become.

One way to help change our identity, is to change our perspective. Like the quote that began this post. As we look to increase our abundance this coming year, let us start with gratitude for all we have. Take money, which is only a portion of abundance. Do you know the average global income is $12,235? I didn’t either. Most of you reading this make more than that. Therefore, you are closer to being wealthy than poor. You have access, in some form or fashion, to the internet. That is better than 35% of people. Do you have clean water to drink and bathe in? Better than 25% of the world’s population. Do you have all 3? You are abundant my friends. Start looking up how many people have laptops, how many people have 3 meals a day. The list can go on. By the time you are done, you will discover how truly abundant you are. Then, you will be on that frequency, vibration and energy. You will identify as an abundant individual. This puts into play your subconscious mind and your reticular activating system in your brain. More science that I make simple in my book, Living the Dream. Until you read that great book, just know if we change our identity, we change our reality. Read that last line again and think how you can put it to work for you.

DO IT OR DIE! 😳

What a title! What could possibly be so important that if we did not do it we would die? Is there really such a thing? The short answer is ‘Yes.’ Do not worry, this is not like one of those social media posts that claim if you don’t share it with all of your friends, coworkers and the neighbor’s dog that you will be cursed with 10 years bad luck. In fact, this is actually backed by science. You will not fall over dead when you walk out the door tomorrow if you do not do this either. What you will do, sadly, is you will call it quits several years before those we do put this simple tool to work for them will. Keep reading to find out how you can not only add more years to your life, but ultimately more life to your years.

According to Equifax, most people live 10-20 years after they retire. That is a pretty good margin. How can we be more likely to lean towards the 20 year side and not the 10 year side? I was having this very discussion with my coworker, Rob, the other day. According to neuropsychologists, having a sense of purpose is one of the greatest predictors of health and wellness in old age. Let that soak in for a while. For those of us who are picturing just laying on the beach everyday sipping cocktails (certainly something to do when retired) there must be more to life. Those who wake up with a purpose after retiring, have reduced stress levels, are in better physical health and age more successfully. Think of it. Less stress, a stronger immune system and a greater sense of happiness. Isn’t that what we all want when we retire?

Work, as trying as it can be, gives us a reason that we must get out of bed in the morning. We have to pay the bills. We have to earn money to go on vacation or to take the lady out for dinner. Whatever it is you are working towards. Sometimes it is working towards retirement. A lot of people are shocked when they get there. It is as if they worked their whole life towards something, and now that they have it, they are not sure what to do with it. If you are thinking that you do not need a purpose, consider this fact. According to a recent study of retirees, having a purpose lowered their risk of death by 15.2%. This held true across different races, religions and ethnicity.

We have discovered that having a purpose not only increases the length of your life, but the quality of it as well. This does not mean you have to work until you die. We ended the last post with a quote from the great Howard Thurman. We included two more from him in this post. I think they give us the answer to living a long and fulfilling life. That is finding what sets our soul on fire and doing more of that. It could be working in the garden. It could be joining a book club and discovering great new books, as well as friends. For me, I know retirement will consist of continuing this blog, writing books and producing episodes of the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. How about you? What will your grand purpose be when you retire?

Added bonus here. You do not have to wait until retirement to reap all of these benefits. Find something that sets your soul on fire now! At the very least, start looking for that. Once you find it, and start enjoying it, you will experience the wonderful benefits we mentioned in this blog. I know after a hard day working my day job, writing is as much of a release as it is anything else. I love exploring nature and going to the gym as well. Coffee with friends provides interesting conversations. Time spent chasing dreams with the love of my life never fails to be exciting. When I retire, it will be more a transition than an end.

1% TODAY

It is the weekend and the last thing you want to do is hear about work. I completely get it. It is, however, what separates the good from the great. Even doing 1% more, as the photo above suggests, can make a huge difference over the course of a year. Take any aspect you are working on improving and imagine what that would look like with a 1% daily improvement. It would be amazing, and so are you. Now get out there and get that 1%!

SUNDAY PONDERING 🤔

You see it everywhere, people taking selfies. This past weekend, Margie and I saw a little grandma at the diner we were at trying to capture herself in the best light. It can be tricky taking a picture of yourself. Finding just the right light and just the right angle. You want to both highlight your positives and hide your negatives. Margie informs me she takes dozens to find one she likes enough to send to me. I have given up on that a long time ago. After I send my picture, a message about being stuck with me usually follows.

That is why, when I saw this quote, I had to share it with all of you. In a world where we are obsessed with our image, how many of us invest in what really counts? You can make the outside look as good as you want, but if the inside is unattractive, you will be too. On this site we certainly recommend taking care of your physical appearance. Liking what you see in the mirror will have you feeling more confident and willing to try new things. Just as, actually more, important is taking care of the inside. Have you ever met someone who might not fit your usual definition of attraction, but because of their energy and personality, you can’t help but want to be around them? Happened to me when I first met this lady with bright pink hair. Ten years later, I find her the most beautiful person in the world.

How about you? If you could take a selfie of your soul, would you want to post it online? Would it be attractive? Are you compassionate towards others? How is your temper? Do you often do random acts of kindness? How is your level of inner peace? Next time you are trying to capture that perfect likeness of yourself, take a moment to think about how the inside looks.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THESE PEOPLE. 🫂

I had the pleasure of taking my beautiful lady out to lunch the other day and she inspired an interesting thought I would like to share with you. Right now, she is on a health and fitness journey. She has really been working hard changing her diet and making physical fitness a regular part of her life. Recently, her gym had her fill out a goal sheet for her immediate future. We were discussing what she wrote down, when she paused, took a deep breath, sighed and confessed, “I just do not want to be the least fit person in a group of people anymore.”

I admired her bravery and really getting in touch with her ‘why’. This, I am sure, will allow her to reach the goals she has set for herself. It reminded me of a joke. “If you want to look thinner, hang around people who are less thin than you.” Although this joke is old, and quite dated as you can see, it made me think how many of us do this. We tend to surround ourselves with people who are in our comfort zone. This is good for keeping the stress level low, but does not really push us to grow to a better version of ourselves, and can even stunt the growth when we do attempt it.

When you start to work on improving yourself, I notice there are people who get intimidated. There are many reasons for why this might be. If you suddenly go back to school, or start studying a certain subject you may hear things such as “Oh, trying to show off now?” If your friends like to binge watch Netflicks and eat pizza everyday and you start getting in shape, they may either tell you that you are spending too much time and the gym, or even make you feel guilty for being so. I think they do this because your improvement makes them uncomfortable about their own lack of improvement. There are also those who worry that if you improve too much, you might end up leaving them behind. This leaves them two choices. They can either level up their life, or try to pull you back to level down yours. I don’t have to tell you which choice most people make, even if it is subconsciously.

It is like the boiling crabs in a bucket story. If one crab is about to escape, the others pull them back in. does it help them? No. It certainly does not help our friendly crustation who almost had their freedom. Instead, you want to be part of a group that is constantly lifting each other up and helping each other reach new levels. Sometimes you might be the one doing the lifting, sometimes you might be the one being lifted. This includes both the emotional aspect, like in the first picture. As well as physically. Remember our example of getting in shape? As ironic as it sounds, our haters can often be of more help than our friends. If one of them see you slipping on your diet or workout routine, they will not only make sure to let you know about it, but everyone else as well. That is a good motivation to stay on track. It is also a good way to put your haters to work for you. Our well-meaning friends, on the other hand, might be more reassuring. Telling us things like, “It is ok if you just missed one workout.” or “Don’t be so hard on yourself for eating badly today.”

Take some time and think about the people you surround yourself with. Are they helping you become the best version of yourself? This can be supportive or motivating. We need both. Just make sure they are not holding you back from growing into the amazing person you know you can be. Look, self-improvement can occasionally be tough journey. We need all the help we can get. We certainly cannot have anyone making our journey more difficult.

YOU SHOULD BE CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE 📴

I love this picture! I stole it from my friend Caroline’s social media page. I think it is one that we should save to use ourselves. Shutting ourselves down to work on our own spiritual maintenance is not only helpful, it is essential. If our spirit is tired or hurting, it will affect every other aspect of our lives. This includes our energy level, the way we treat others, our productivity, and a million other areas of our lives. Seeing how much neglecting our spirit affects our life, imagine what shutting things down to do a little maintenance on it would do? It would positively affect all of the areas we just mentioned above.

This week shut yourself down for a while. Put in that effort to help yourself heal from whatever challenges you are facing. Your life and your spirit will thank you. Feel free to save this picture to put on your social media profile. Heck, print it out and hang it on the front door. Bring one to the office to let people know what is going on. You don’t really need a sign, but you do need to maintain the spirit of yours.