Tag: self-improvement

ASK A DIFFERENT QUESTION ❓️

It is Monday, let us do this week a little different. Normally, the reason we do things is for what we can get out of it. This is not always a monetary issue. We can get a feeling of accomplishment, such as when we clean the house. We can get a feeling of health and energy, like when we finish a good workout. It can even be more seemingly altruistic. Maybe we are doing it to get a good feeling, such as when we help another person. Depending on your motive, this can be a motivating way to move through life.

What I advocate we do this week, is ask ourselves this question, “Who is this going to help me become?” In the case of cleaning the house, will it help you become a more disciplined, less stressed, individual? Working out can leave you a healthier, more flexible and yes, less stressed, person. How about helping someone for no reason other than developing your character and becoming someone who can relate to others better?

This week, ask yourself “Who is this helping me become?” Even dragging yourself into work on a Monday morning when you really don’t feel like it can make you a person who is viewed as reliable. It can also make you someone you can be proud of. A person who takes care of their responsibilities even when they would rather not. It can also help you avoid things you shouldn’t do. Tempted by those doughnuts in the breakroom? Eating them will make you someone who gives into temptation and who does not put an accent on their health. What are your actions helping you become?

THE END, OR THE BEGINNING?🤔

The end of the weekend is fast approaching. Too fast for many of us. Before we pick out a black mourning outfit to wear to work on Monday, let us remember that although we have left our 48 hours of freedom behind, we are starting something new. No, I am not talking about 120 hours in which we are in work mode. Although looking at the numbers, I do feel it should be a little more balanced. What it could be is the beginning of the most wonderful week of our lives. We never know what might await us in the coming days.

As you can see in the photo above, I recently returned from vacation with this beautiful lady. As the days get further away from being in the sunny Bahamas, I have 2 choices. I could lament the fact that it has been even longer since I have been laying on a beach after a breakfast buffet, or I can think that it is the beginning (and one week closer) to planning the next escape with my lovely lady. You may think this is splitting hairs, so to speak, and you may be right. Here is another truth – although both facts may be true, looking at them in different ways will give you entirely different feelings. Why not pick the one that makes you feel good?

Take the words of wisdom from the great Mr. Rogers. Every end is also a new beginning. We should work on fostering feelings of excitement for what is next in our lives. It will have us viewing life as we should, as one big adventure.

DON’T LET IT HAPPEN TO YOU!

It has happened to all of us. Some less-than-thoughtful person says, or does, something to ruin our day. Maybe it is something particularly unnerving that sticks with us. I know that is something yours truly is working on. It can set the tone for your entire day. Here is a hard truth – it shouldn’t. Each person, each interaction, should be viewed as a clean slate. We should give each person a fresh opportunity. This is done not only to benefit those we interact with, but ourselves as well. If you let that bad experience fester, it can really drive you crazy. Trust me, it is something that I know all too well.

That creates the question, how do we start fresh with each person? By seeing them for what they are, a new adventure to discover and unfold. Even the same person who is always negative can transform through some life epiphany. The odds may play against that, but it can happen. I have a lady at my day job who is like that. Let us call her “Michelle”. Whenever I have cause to interact with this young lady, there are a few things I do. First, I guard my energy because she is an emotional vampire who can suck the joy out of you. Then, I remember it is an opportunity to try and influence her energy instead of the other way around. Then, I do my best to remember that anyone can change. Even those who have been the same for years.

Just like wearing garlic for regular vampires, you must protect your energy with emotional vampires as well. Use the steps above. If you are feeling a bit down, be that physically or emotionally, do your best to avoid them. When you do interact with them, remember to give them opportunities to change their ways. If they do, encourage them by reacting positively. If they do not, be grateful that you are not the same. I also find viewing it like an emotional day at the gym. When we work out physically, we encounter resistance. It is always work, and seldom fun. Yet, we leave the gym feeling stronger and as a slightly better version of ourselves.

Just remember these important things when encountering sunshine-challenged people. First, protect your own energy. You can do this in many different ways. Use the one that speaks to you. Do not forget to give them the benefit of the doubt. Anyone can change at any time. If they have not, view it as an emotional workout. Let it strengthen your ability to remain positive in the face of negativity.

BONUS DAY!!!

Everyone would love a bonus day in their lives, wouldn’t they? How many times do you look around at everything you have to do in life and wish you just had a few more hours in they day? For most of us, that is daily. Here is a trick question. If you did have a bonus day, what would you spend it focused on? Would it be accomplishing more? Would it be resting more? Would it be focused on just doing nothing? How about focusing on joy? On bliss?

Today is leap year. It has many of us thinking of a bonus day. That is not exactly how it is, but you get the idea. Here is a fact that we often overlook. Every day is a bonus day. There are so many things that could go sideways in life and in the world that every day we enjoy with those we love is a bonus day. This may sound metaphorical, but it is not. Who is to say who will be here tomorrow and who will not. Today we are, let us make the most of it. This will mean different things to different people. Maybe completing that household chore you have been working on forever will give you joy? Then, put some time in. Maybe you need to slow down and just enjoy a little time for yourself. Don’t feel guilty, just do that.

Let leap year serve as a reminder to us that every day is a bonus day. We are not promised tomorrow, but we have been given today. Let us make the most of this beautiful bonus day!

HELP A MAN CLIMB A MOUNTAIN ⛰️

It is Thursday, how is the week treating you? Often, it is at this point, we really could use the weekend to come a day earlier. No matter the day, life can have its tough times. What can we do when we feel overwhelmed? My advice, when facing a problem that either seems insurmountable or that you have no control over, is to help someone else with their problems. This was brought home to me in my own life. The story is relayed in my second book, Living the Dream. In short, when facing one of the darkest periods of my life, I was inspired and found my purpose while serving the under-privileged at a meal program.

I often found this a difficult concept to articulate. How can adding someone else’s problems to your already overwhelmed life do you any good? It seems counterintuitive. Like many things in life, it seems that way, but really is the key to success. I think the quote above about helping someone climb a mountain is a great illustration. Not only will you arrive at the top of the mountain as well. After all, how could you help someone climb a mountain, if you were not there with them? It will also allow you both to get there quicker and with a far greater chance at success than if either of you did it alone.

There are so many examples I see in my own life. I enjoy helping other authors and invariably learn something from them. Also, working together, we seem to reach a far greater audience. At the gym, I see people helping each other out with both workout and diet tips. One of the greatest ways to help one another is to share a smile. There can be so much negativity that we are exposed to in today’s world that having someone share a genuine smile with you can make a huge difference. Just like the mountain example, the more people you share smiles with, the more likely you are to get smiles thrown back your way. Can you imagine a day where everyone went around smiling at each other? Such a simple thing, but it would make such a huge difference.

This week, today, go out and help someone climb that mountain! Share that inspiration. Lend a helping hand where you can. Not only will you help so many people reach the top of the mountains they are striving to climb, but you will enjoy the view from so many different peaks as well!

DO NOT TRUST THE EXPERTS! 🚫

It is amazing to me how many people turn their lives over to people who consider themselves experts. I have a problem trusting the important issues in my life to the experts. Take my health for example. If you ask my doctor, he will be the first to tell you, I ask a lot of questions. This should not surprise anyone who knows me personally. It is not that I do not value his years of study and experience in the field of health, I certainly do. Still, all of us can have bias and be tainted by our experiences. No single person can know everything.

The reason that I am bringing this up today, is that I was reminded of it listening to an interview with Kobe Bryant. If, for some reason, you are unaware who Kobe Bryant is, allow me to give you the briefest of recaps. He was a professional basketball player that played 20 years for the Los Angeles Lakers. He won five championships and had many amazing performances along the way. Can you guess what his high school guidance counselor told him? “Give up that basketball dream. It will never work out for you.” This was somebody who was an ‘expert’ in guiding children. To the counselor’s credit, the year before, Kobe had played an entire season of basketball and did not score one single point. Here is a player who hold hold the record for most points scored in a single NBA game (81) and he played an entire season without scoring a single point. Fortunately, Kobe did not listen to the experts.

In my own life, I had a similar story. My senior year in high school I almost did not pass English class. It was of no interest to me. What kind of verb is this? I really did not care. I loved history and science. I was good at math. Socializing, that is what I really excelled at in high school. English class? Not so much. The last day of school my fabulous teacher leaned over my desk and stated in no uncertain terms, “I pray to God you will never have a career in writing.” Several years later, here we are working on book number 4! At the time, like Kobe and his scoreless season, I would not have argued with her. Although I am not the Kobe Bryant of authors…yet, I still use my craft to both educate and entertain many.

In your life, I urge you not to blindly trust the experts. Sure, take what they say with the weight it deserves, but do your own research and ask your own questions. Nobody should care more about your health, your happiness and your success than you. Act accordingly.

MY NEW TITLE COULD BE YOURS AS WELL 👏

This charming fellow is a sherpa. If you do not know what they do, they help you carry your stuff up a mountain, so you can worry about doing other things, like say, climbing a mountain. They go with you on your journey. They help carry the supplies you might need at any given time. Sherpas usually have a good deal of knowledge when it comes to the trails and journeys that they travel. Can you imagine how great it would be to have a sherpa throughout your life? They would carry all of the supplies and you would just have to focus on making it through the journey.

This past Tuesday, I had the honor of being a guest on the Mind, Body, Abundance Show. One of the hosts, Charlene, said a phrase I really enjoyed. She referred to herself as a ‘shift sherpa’. Many of us in the self-improvement field could apply this title. We follow you on your journey via a book, website or YouTube video. We share tools and strategies that you can use as you navigate your journey. That is what we do here. You can take Secret2anamazinglife with you as you journey through life. We will offer tools and carry them for you as you need them.

How about you? Are you a sherpa? Before you think that you have to help climb Mount Everest, or even be involved in the self-improvement field, let me assure you that you do not. All of us could use a sherpa in our lives. It doesn’t have to be the tools of self-improvement. It can be to help carry the burdens of life for family and friends. It can be to share our stories and experiences to help others survive, and even thrive, in their journey. A sherpa doesn’t have to stay for the whole journey. They are there to help along some of the toughest paths. How valuable do you think that would be?

In life, let us all be sherpas for those we care about. Let us help carry the burdens we all go through. Eventually, we will need a sherpa in our life when the journey seems too hard and our load seems too heavy. If we all help each other carry the load of life, it will be a lot lighter for all of us.

GET RICH QUICK! 💵

These days it seems everyone is working to get rich and famous. From side hustles, to an attempt to go viral, it would seem that we are all chasing the brass ring. To this end, many people wish to use the Law of Attraction, or as it has become known, the secret. One of the most important aspects of this law is that you must be what you wish to attract. This gives many people, including myself, a headache trying to figure out.

When thinking about gaining wealth and fame, the question becomes, “How can I be and/or feel wealthy, when my circumstances would have me feeling the opposite.” With the price of everything from heat to groceries going up, that is certainly understandable. The ‘secret’ is contained in something we touched on a few posts ago. Our control is not in bending outside circumstances to our will, but working on the circumstances that exist between our own ears.

How can you feel wealthy with all of the bills coming in and the paycheck not getting larger? By focusing on all that you do have. This may sound cliche or positive thinking to many of you. In a way I suppose it is. That does not change that fact that it works. A brief glance at the world around us will remind us of how much we all have to be thankful for. Take our health for example. Even if it is not perfect at the moment, it certainly could be worse. Our friends are another source of wealth. We may wish we had more, or saw the ones we have more often, but the fact is having friends is a great form of wealth.

There are a million things from a roof over our heads, running water to access to the internet to read something like this, that we should be grateful for. Our lives are filled with so many blessings that often go overlooked. Spending as little as five minutes a day focusing on all we have to be grateful for can transform our lives. It can take us to living a life of lack, to living one of abundance. Don’t trust me, prove it to yourself by trying this today.

LIVE IMMEDIATELY! 😊

How many times do we hear people say things such as, “When ____ happens, then I will be happy.” Sure, the accomplishment of certain goals may bring us satisfaction. I know that being able to spend time in the Bahamas with the woman I love will bring me a great amount of joy. Here is a question, what if these things don’t happen? Life can be crazy. Corona virus showed us that. Who would have thought the world would shut down in a matter of weeks? I didn’t have that on my calendar. My trip could be canceled or postponed due to a hurricane or problems with the airplane. As the quote above eludes to, the future is uncertain.

The best assurance we have of an amazing life is not to plan our future, although that is a good idea. No, the best way to guarantee an amazing life is to live as fully as we are able in the present. Love those we love to the best of our ability. Try that new food, go on that trip, have coffee with that friend. The one torture that the uncertainty of the future can convey is the feeling of regret. We only have one life and it is forever growing shorter. We should do our best to get ever drop of joy out of it that we can.

Live your life today! Do not tie your happiness to an event. Find ways to celebrate today while looking forward to tomorrow. Enjoy the journey while getting closer to the destination. That is the secret to an amazing life.

WHERE YOUR POWER IS ✊️

How many of us have took a hit from life and have been left feeling totally helpless? I know I have. We can hear ourselves saying, “Look what happened to me. It is not my fault!” You would be right. Getting knocked down is not our fault. It is also usually beyond our control to some extent. What is in our control is whether we stay down or not. Events may be beyond our control, but how we respond to them is 100% in our control.

Realize that we have control over our mind and not outside events. If we use our energy to try and control outside events, that is a fool’s errand. If, however, we put that same time and energy towards strengthening our mind, which we have control over, than we are making a solid investment with our time and energy. Work on improving your ability to respond intelligently. Work on practicing patience and objectivity. These are where your strength is and it is also where your best chance to impact outside events occurs.

Today, make an investment in your inner world and cease being so concerned with controlling your outside world. This is often beyond our control. We can control our minds. It is in this endeavor that we should put all of our efforts toward.