Today is an event that happens but once a year. I run a 5k. Let it be known that in no way am I a runner. Yes, I do go to the gym 3 days a week, but I look far more like the second picture than the first. My goal is always to run the 3.2 miles in less than 30 minutes. Depending on your fitness level, this could seem like nothing or an impossibility. With my asthma and over indulgence in pizza, it is at the edge of my ability. What it does do is give me a goal to push towards. I have yet to achieve it, but always try.
Here is the great thing about having this goal, and even about not achieving it. Forever am I realizing there are ways in which I can improve. Eat better, train better and find ways to improve my breathing. Still, pushing yourself can have such amazing benefits. I encourage all of us to try this. It does not have to even be something physical. It can be pushing ourselves to write 1000 words a day towards our new book. It can be forcing ourselves to clean for 30 minutes a day. Maybe reading a couple of pages every night.
Whatever seems at the edge of our ability to do, we should try to do that. It is the only way to expand and improve our life. If we constantly stay in our comfort zone, our life will not only fail to expand, but we will also never feel the pride that comes with accomplishing something we never thought we could.
We have been advocating staying present on this site so much lately it runs the risk of becoming too familiar. Before you are tempted to dismiss this as just another post about living in the moment, I encourage you to read on. In sales, they tell you to speak about the benefits of a product before the features or the price. In other words, you paint a picture of how life will be better for your prospect before you tell them what they are getting. That is what we are doing with today’s post.
Have you ever had a day where despite challenges, you still seem to be feeling amazing and able to make it through the day with a smile? I am sure most of us have had a day like that. We have also had the opposite. Where even if things seem to be turning out well, we still don’t feel the amount of joy we should. How many of us stop and ask ourselves why this happens? Figuring out the question to this will help make our lives infinitely more full of joy, but how many of us actually do this? When we feel sick to our stomach we will spend the rest of the day analyzing what we ate to the smallest ingredient. Should we not to the same to what brings us joy?
It can be impossible to note every single detail that is occurring in our lives on the days we feel amazing. Not to mention, that would probably take a good deal of joy out of it. Instead, I will ask you to pay attention to just one detail – who you are around. They say you are the total of the 5 people you spend the most time with. If your life is not filled with as much joy as it could be, this might be a good spot to investigate. That is not saying it excuses our own behavior, but surrounding yourself with good people who appreciate your worth will make all of the difference.
This week, take a moment to notice how the people around you have you feeling. Are there people who just put a smile on your face being around them? There are people in my life that can have me smiling just thinking about them. That is why my screensaver is my lovely lady. Just thinking about her can bring a smile on my face. How about you? Who are the people in your life who make your life amazing just by being in it?
We discussed a few posts ago how chasing happiness is a fool’s errand. The comparison was of chasing a butterfly. It will only fly away. If you create an environment where a butterfly would like to be you will attract one to you. Same with happiness. It isn’t about finding it somewhere outside of you. It is not in the new car, the new house or even the new relationship. How many people do we hear of who have all of these and are still not happy. Instead of chasing these things, we would be better off creating and cultivating an environment where happiness flourishes.
How do we create our own ‘happiness garden’ to stick with the metaphor? Above are 5 great ideas to start with. Freeing our hearts of hatred we are holding on to certainly helps. It is impossible to feel both hatred and happiness at the same time. Not to mention, hatred is extremely bad for our health. The same can be said for worry. There was a study showing that 98% of everything we worry about is beyond our control or completely unnecessary. Why not spend that moment focused on gratitude? Live simply is another great way to create happiness. The less we require to be happy, the more likely we are to be so. A pretty simple equation. Give more. Giving really can be a secret to happiness. Giving not only brightens the day of the person you are giving to, but yours as well. That is a win/win situation. Those kinds of situations certainly create happiness. Expecting less, much like living simply, increases our chances of being happy.
Stop chasing happiness and focus on creating an environment where happiness flourishes. Try these 5 items to start. If you have any other suggestions, please share them in the comments below. Any ‘gardening tips’ for happiness will be appreciated by all.
We touched on this a little last post. The one thing we must battle to overcome is the desire to quit. It can be so strong. When we face one thing after another that seems to go wrong it can seem impossible to keep going. One thing you must know is that all of us have felt it. Eric Thomas says something that has really helped me and I would like to share it with you. I am paraphrasing, but he says you have already been hurt, why not get a reward for it. I could not agree more. At the very least, give purpose to your pain.
It is a sick twist of irony that the closest we are to accomplishment is after we have made it through the greatest amount of pain and struggle. Sadly, that is also when our urge to quit becomes the greatest. Know that if you quit, it becomes a habit. That is the bad news. Once you start quitting, your resolve begins to decline. The good news is that the opposite is true. Once you persevere, you will and determination become stronger in all fields. If you quit every time you feel the urge to do so, your life will not amount to much. If you get up just one more time and conquer that urge to quit, your life will become the life of your dreams. When you have suffered and it feels like you are staring into the abyss, just remember if you give up then, your pain was for nothing. As Eric Thomas told us earlier, “You are already in pain. Get a reward for it.”
If there is one thing in life you should not give up on, that is yourself and your dreams. Your pain has come to strengthen you, not to defeat you.
When it comes to our goals, proper mindset is a great deal of the challenge. Having the proper outlook can mean the difference between success and failure. I think having this simple quote printed out will assist us in persevering to the accomplishment of our goals. Giving ourselves two options – we will either find a way or make one. Did you notice that does not include giving up, throwing in the towel or any option other than success.
One of the greatest challenges in life can be our relationships. When they are not going well, the life can seem to be sucked out of us. Conversely, they are also the source of our biggest reward. When we are in love, nothing can bring us down. That is why giving ourselves these two options in relationships can be so beneficial. Do not even consider not being able to craft a loving, healthy and growth oriented relationship. Instead, say to yourself “I am going to find a way to get through this relationship challenge, or I will make one.” When you do not give yourself any other option than success, than success becomes your only option.
We looked at the example of relationships because they are one of the more powerful forces in our life. Imagine how many different areas of your life you can apply this to? Your health and fitness. You can apply it to your career. Give yourself these two options when it comes to your finances. Speak power and encouragement into all areas of your life and see what a difference it will make. I would keep this quote on a card that you can keep with you and look at it throughout the day. When it comes to being the best version of yourself, you will either find a way or you will make one.
This could not ring more true. Our time is far more valuable than our money. They say that you can always earn more money, but you can never earn more time. What makes life so precious is the fact that it ends. Far too many of us spend time stressing about the past. Mistakes we made, things we could have done better, things we should have done. This is rather crazy. Get the lesson from it and move on. The past is over with and cannot be changed with all the regret in the world. On the opposite side of the spectrum, many of us spend a great deal of time worried about the future. There is one, and only one way to affect the future, and that is by making the most of today. Worried you will not have enough money in the future? Start by saving and starting a retirement plan today. Worried about your health in the future? Start a fitness and healthy eating program today.
The best way to fully make use of your time is to be fully present today. How do we do that? Put down the phone, the remote and the laptop. Pick up a cup of coffee with a friend or with the birds in the park. A great exercise is to sit still somewhere and pay attention to each of your senses in turn. Think of sitting in a coffee shop. You could smell the fresh ground coffee, maybe some caramel. You would hear the roaring of the espresso machine. You could touch the wooden table, feel the warmth of your coffee mug. Taking a sip of that coffee, you could really focus on the taste. Try to discover as many flavor notes as you can. Look around and take note of what you see. What is the most common expression people have on their faces? How is the sun coming through the window, or did some heartless soul close all the blinds so the room is dark and resembles a tomb?
Another one of my favorite places to do this is in nature. To really make the most of it, you should be stationary. Find a nice bench in a park and grab a seat. Look around and notice the different songbirds you see. Maybe the sun reflecting off the pond. Close you eyes and listen. Do you hear the songs of the birds? Perhaps you hear the sound of the leaves blowing in the wind? Keeping your eyes closed, you can feel the wind blowing on your skin. Smell the oxygen in the air from all of the trees. Wait…is someone grilling in the picnic area? You could always try to convince them you need a hamburger to do the taste portion of this exercise.
I cannot emphasize enough how many of us lack the ability to be present. It is a difficult thing to do in today’s world. Distractions are everywhere. The phone is beeping. There are flashing electric signs everywhere. All too often, we only appreciate the moment in a memory. Those memories will be a lot richer, as will our lives, if we take time to be present. Try the activity mentioned above. Pick somewhere and notice as many of your senses as you can. You will be surprised at how much you are missing. If you like, share your experiences in the comments below.
It is Friday the 31st. That means it is both the end of the week, and the end of the month. It is time to reset for both a new week and a new month ahead. Even if you happen upon this post on a day other than the one on which it is released, it is still a great time to take a step back and reset. Here in the United States where I live, summer is about to begin. People are busy working to make their summer body ready for the beach. That is good. Focusing on health and taking care of our appearance can be very beneficial. When we look good, we tend to feel good about ourselves as well.
An even more important thing to focus on is our inner beauty. Yes, having friends or a partner that is eye candy can be fun, but what really makes you attractive is being soul food for someone. I can speak for this as I am lucky to have both. My lady is not only extremely beautiful, and makes me so proud when we are out together, but she is even more than that. When we are home alone we have some of the most fun and silly conversations. We read together. We laugh together. We learn together. Recently, we even began exploring the world together by going on vacations.
It is important to look and feel our best, but why not develop our inner beauty and character? That is where true attraction is. Having friends that nourish our soul and help us believe in ourselves, that is priceless. While you are working on your six pack, or just reducing the size of your keg, why not work on your listening skills? How about developing your compassion while developing your biceps? Working on lifting your backside? That is great, but what about the ability to lift others up?
Ask yourself, would you rather have someone around you who just looks good, or someone who makes you feel good? Someone who is good for your ego or someone who is good for your soul? When I think about people that I would like to spend time with, it is their soul that makes me want to include them in my life. Focus more on being soul food and less on being eye candy.
This post comes to you on a Monday. This can be one of the toughest days of the week for many. In actuality, every day should be a challenge. Why? We should be challenging ourselves. This idea of never ending improvement is a good one. We can always be healthier, smarter and most importantly, kinder. Tony Robbins has a term he uses called ‘C.A.N.I.’ standing for “Constant and never-ending improvement”. Many of us are living life focused on a achieving or obtaining a certain goal. That is all well and good, but then what?
Whether you are 18 or 80, we should be working to be the best version of ourselves. It not only helps in our relationships with others, but with the world at large. The better version of ourselves we become, the more we can enjoy the world around us. Ask yourself how you can improve today. Even if it is just one percent.
It is Sunday, so we will not have you read too much. Plus, the picture above pretty much says it all. We do not need a specific belief or dogma to be good people. We need to simply live with compassion and a respect for other’s human dignity. I would extend that to other living things as well, but that is a subject for a different post. That is not to say you should not follow a faith. If you have one that helps foster these basic characteristics, that is fabulous! If someone else has a different faith that helps then foster these same traits, that is fabulous too!
I think as humans we have a tendency to over complicate things. This includes our faiths. We also seem to like conflict. If someone has different dogma or rituals than us, but that person is a good human, that’s great! We should not care if they worship in a different way or on a different day. The question we need to know is, “Are you a good human?” If the answer is yes, the rest is really none of our business. Treat others how you wish to be treated. Even if they don’t do the same.
Here is a fresh reminder to do your best to keep things in perspective. We often suffer dreading an upcoming event long before the event occurs. This only extends the time we spent in suffering. This may seem like something only a fool would do. To that end, I would like to ask you if you can recall the days leading up to your last dental appointment? How about your last proctology exam? Hopefully they were two different doctors. We can get ourselves all worked up, and end up have a nearly painless experience. Then again, it may not be painless, but what has worrying and suffering before the experience done other than to serve us up an additional helping of suffering?
Instead, I would encourage you to focus on the best possible outcomes of any situation. Not only will this help reduce the stress before hand, but may also help manifest a better outcome. You can always focus on the long-term result. Such as the dentist. It may hurt in the short term, but you will end up feeling better, and usually looking better, in the long term.
Do not suffer the needless in your mind. Focus on both the long-term results as well as the best possible outcome. This is one of many ways to reduce stress in our lives.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 