Tag: Self-Help

GO BACK AND REMEMBER ❤️

This is one of the first pictures Margie and I took as a couple. It is also one of my favorites. This morning while I was relaxing and enjoying my morning coffee, I was scrolling through the pictures on my phone looking to eliminate some I did not need anymore. This is always a good practice to do every so often. There was an interesting side-effect to all of this. As Margie worked obsessively on a cake she is making for a contest, I was thinking how adorable I found her even when she is stressed out. Here is a little side note about the love of my life, she is one of those people who look adorable in every picture they take. This always fills me with a mix of pride and envy. I thought of this as I scrolled through my pictures.

As I scrolled through the pictures, I noticed all of the things we have been through and all the moments we have shared. I saw all of the wonderful people we had spent time with. I noticed how we changed (She got cuter, I got older) and the different ways that we showed our love for each other. It made me stop and be grateful for something that I might not always appreciate to the level I should. After all, I have a beautiful lady and have had the opportunity to create a beautiful life with her by each other’s side. This not only holds true for romantic relationships, but friendships as well. Family too. Think of all the years and events that people that have shared life with you. A trip down memory lane may very well strengthen the wonderful feelings you already have for them.

This evening, why not take a moment and put together a group of pictures of someone who means the world to you. This could be a lover, a friend, a parent or a child. You could put a special album of pictures in your phone, you can have a photo album made or make one yourself. Look through it every once in a while and appreciate how much they have added to your life and how different life would be without them. As a bonus, you can do this for yourself. Capture some of your greatest moments throughout the years. Think of not only all you have accomplished, but all you have made it through. This will only make you love your life, and the people in it, more than ever. I am going to leave you with another one of my favorite pictures of the love of my life. It was the first time she ever made me a cup of coffee and was so proud. Proof she is as beautiful as an angel, even first thing in the morning!

FORGET AFFIRMATIONS, DO THESE INSTEAD!💡

Here we are, Monday morning! We have a great and powerful idea to not only discuss, but to put to work this week. The title of this post may shock you. A site dedicated to self-improvement tell you to forget affirmations. After all, affirmations have been suggested in almost every success book published, including mine. They help keep your goal front and center and keep you focused on the positive. They have also been suggested in many Law of Attraction books and even the movie, The Secret. With all of these sources mentioning affirmations, why would we be telling you to forget them in favor of trying something else?

Affirmations do a lot of great things and they certainly have a place in self-improvement. They do have one little problem, our own mind. Have you ever tried repeating “I am wealthy and drive the car of my dreams.” While you climb into your 2005 Ford escape? I mean hypothetically? Your reasoning logical mind can’t help but use your 5 senses to point out that this indeed is not your dream car. Affirmations are most powerful when they have a corresponding feeling to back them up. You can repeat “I have the lover of my dreams.” but if the other side of the bed is empty, that wicked conscious mind will let you know that you are one person light of a great relationship.

So, how do we manage to get a feeling of where we want to be, when our mind keeps pointing out where we currently are. Even those of us with the best imagination can find it difficult to imagine they are in the Maldives when they are shoveling snow in below zero weather. There is a way to turn the tables on your mind and make it work for you instead of against you. This can be summed up in one line – ask it a question.

When we ask our mind a question, it doesn’t rest until it comes up with an answer. Unfortunately, we often use this against ourselves by asking disempowering questions such as, “Why does this always happen to me?” or “How come I can never lose weight?” What if we used this power to help us reach our goals? How can we do this? By phrasing our affirmation in the form of a question. Precluding our affirmation by asking our mind “What would it feel like if ____” This causes our mind to use all of our senses to visualize our goal. When shoveling if you asked yourself “What would it feel like if I was in the Maldives?” Your brain would come up with answers such as, “I would be warm.” and “I would feel light instead of having six layers on.” Your mind will come up with the scent of the ocean, the feel of the sun, the smell of the tropical food, the taste of the cold cocktail and the sound of all the people playing in the pool.

Asking yourself a question causes the brain to come up with an answer instead of arguing with reality. It will help capture the feeling of the goal being accomplished instead of preventing it. This will help you accomplish your goal within a very short time. Why not try this for the week and see how it goes. At the very least, you will give yourself a mental vacation.

YOUR GARDEN SAYS A LOT ABOUT YOU 🌻

What can your garden possibly reveal about your life? A lot. For those of you that are like me and have a thumb that tends to be a little more brown than green, fear not, it is more than your garden. If you have a garden, or just a yard around your house would you want it to look good and be doing well? I think most of us, especially those that read this blog, would answer in the affirmative. If, for some reason, your garden is not looking so good what would you do? Would you give up and just let it go? Would you spend extra time pulling up weeds and watering it? Would you call someone who knows better than you? In my case that would be my good soul friend Shannon. Maybe you would read up and study the different plants.

These may all seem like logical answers, but how you treat your garden has a lot to do with how other aspects of you life will turn out as well. What would you do if your relationship was not looking so good? Would you just let it run its course? Would you perhaps leave and go to a different relationship? That is like tilling a new field with the same gardening skills. You are likely to get the same result. Would you get in there and start working on pulling weeds (addressing problems) and watering (adding love wherever you can)? Would you read a book that can tell you more about how to have a successful relationship? Would you call a friend who has a great relationship?

You may think that this isn’t so. You may think you can put forth great effort in one area, such as a relationship, but slack off at your job. You may think that being a great father or mother and a great husband or wife take two separate traits. That is not really so. Consistent action, admitting to ourselves and others that we do not know everything and seeking the wise counsel of others, whether that be in person or through some other medium. Develop successful habits in one area and it will be a lot easier to do in others. The danger here is that it is a double edge sword. Develop lazy and unproductive habits and they will carry over to other aspects of your life, no matter how hard you try.

As Aristotle said, we are what we repeatedly do. What do you repeatedly do everyday? Is it successful habits? Are there areas which you could improve? If you are human, I would imagine the answer to the second question is a resounding “Yes!” This is good news, because it means there is room for both you and your life to get even better than it is now!

Here is a suggestion that I found worked in my own life. Start by putting habits in place in areas you are confident in first. If you are looking to be more self-disciplined, would it be easier to keep to a schedule at the gym, or getting up without hitting the snooze button? Start there and develop the habit. Once you have discipline in the area of life you are confident in, it will be easier to apply it to other areas of your life. Also, be on the look out for areas in which you are starting to develop bad habits. Are you slipping at the gym? Are you showing up for work late? It will only be a matter of time before this starts affecting other areas of your life. Make sure you address them as soon as you can.

THE KEY TO SUCCESS🔑

This is a notification that I received a few days ago. At the time you are reading this, I believe we will be up to 103 days in a row. That is 103 days where I have written something to share with you, my wonderful reader and friend. I can say that because we are kindred spirits. You are reading posts on a site about living an amazing life. You are eager to learn tools and strategies that can improve the quality of your life. That is what I did over 20 years ago. That has allowed me to write over 1700 blog post, 3 books, and to date, 7 podcast episodes(found at living the dream with Neil Panosian) along with over 100 YouTube videos. (found at the channel ‘Neil Panosian’).

By doing this, I have reached people in over 187 countries. This is a feat that I could not imagine when I sat down at my computer to begin this blog in 2012. My books have been sold and read in multiple countries. There are still goals to reach, such as my good friends in Greenland, but every post helps me reach even more. In these 100 days of posting I believe I added a few new countries to those who have read my writing. More importantly, it has allowed me to share what I have both learned from others and discovered on my own to make our lives and the world at large a far more positive place.

That is the key to success – consistent action. It is like the old adage about chopping down a tree, was it the last swing of the axe that felled the tree or all of those swings before it? The answer is ‘yes’. It is both that final swing, as well as all of the ones that proceeded it. We may not think we are getting very far or making a great deal of progress as we begin. It may be hard to even see the result in our heads. Think of the tree metaphor. Could the tree have been chopped down if we skipped the first few deflating swings and went straight to the final swing? Most of you will realize what a foolish question this is. We could not even have the final swing if it were not for the many that proceeded it, including the first few that seemed like we were getting nowhere.

This same situation is true for any goal you are chasing in your life. At first it may not seem like you are getting anywhere. If you keep up with consistent action, you will look up one day to find that your goal is in sight! You will smile thinking of all the work you put in to get where you are today. You will be proud of yourself for not quitting when it looked as if you may never reach the destination you had set for yourself.

I would like to mention I am in no way promoting chopping down trees and to reassure everyone, no trees were harmed in the writing of this post.

HOW DO I DO IT?🤔

My schedule is one that is quite full. I spend roughly 46 hours commuting and working at my day job at the post office. On top of that, I spend about one to two hours at the gym three days a week. I record three podcast episodes a week. I am currently working on my fourth book. People are always asking me, “How can you still spend time doing blogs everyday?” This is compounded by the fact that they bring me very little, if any, financial gain. The picture above can help us answer that question. It is a partial list of countries that had logged on to read my blog during a particular week.

The last country on the list is Ukraine. This country is facing one of the toughest times in its history. People are being forced from their homes. If they are staying, they often have to do so without power, running water and under the threat of violence and destruction. To know that a person in this country took the time to log on to secret2anamazinglife.com, is not only a great honor, but a great responsibility. How many of us have thought to ourselves, “I sure wish I could say something encouraging to all of the people in the Ukraine.”? In this case, I get that chance. When you are living in a country that is at war, you need all of the inspiration you can get. It is difficult to keep your head above water, not to mention deal with all of the death and destruction. A voice of inspiration, encouragement and motivation from afar could be, at the very least, a welcome escape.

If you look a little further up on the list, you will see Puerto Rico. This view happened shortly after the island was devastated by a hurricane. There was almost no power on the entire island. Yet, someone still managed to log on to this blog to read what was written here. Very likely, their valuables were washed away. It is probable that their house was damaged in some form. They may have even lost some loved ones. These people came to read what I have written. Again, quite an honor, but an even greater responsibility. What could I possibly say to someone in that situation?

It does not have to be people in countries who are both ravaged by war and natural disasters. Take a look at any of the other countries. Any one of the people in Ecuador or Ethiopia could be facing one of the darkest days of their lives. Maybe they have lost a job. They could be experiencing the grief of losing a loved one. It is thoughts like this that are in my mind as I write these words. How can I write these blogs? To me the question is more accurately, “How could I not write these blogs?” If my words could improve the life of a neighbor down the street, or halfway across the globe, I owe it to them to share both the knowledge I know, as well as the love in my heart with them.

You may be thinking to yourself, “That is great Neil, but I don’t have a blog.” It is not just the online community that needs our love and encouragement. In todays social media world, where many people can forget the power of their words, we must remember what a positive impact ours can have. It could be someone who is in our social media network. It could also be a coworker or even the guy sitting at Starbucks with no shoes on. That last one is a personal observation I made while writing this. Any of those people could be facing some of the challenges we mentioned earlier. You may never know the impact your positive words or actions may have, but know they do make a difference.

STARFISH STORY ⭐️

Listen to an inspirational story that helped me when I felt I wasn’t making a difference. It may help you realize what an important effect you have in the lives of others.

CLICK HERE TO HEAR THIS INSPIRATIONAL STORY 👏

TRY NOT TO FREAK OUT😮

I have heard a lot of people expressing how crazy the world seems lately. I put that word in italics for a great reason. A lot of our world is based on our perception. We have all heard the cliché ‘Perception is reality’ The reason that it is a cliché, is because there is a great deal of truth to it. The world does seem to be filled with dramatic and rapid change. The same was probably true during the industrial revolution. Also during the dark ages, when any day you could be killed if your neighbor said you were a witch. That must have been some stress to live under. I honestly believe that the amount of stress doesn’t change, just the name and form of stress.

Whatever form stress may take, there is one thing we can say about being stressed out – it sucks. Feeling overwhelmed or out of control of our own life never feels good. There are a lot of new tools to help us deal with this stress. There are meditation apps. I even saw an app where celebrities can read you bed time stories. These are great, but I believe there is a tool that has been around for centuries that can do a better job. In addition to helping us get a handle on our stress, it can do so much more. It can give us a greater sense of mental clarity. It can also give us a great insight into our thinking patterns, acting as a cheap and readily accessible therapist. That way when life is getting at you, or like our poor chap in the picture above, you get a bad phone call, you can use this tool and help avoid overwhelm and burn out.

You might think a tool that can do all of this would be expensive. You will be pleased to know you can get this tool as cheap as a couple of dollars. I wrote about this tool in my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People. I also wrote about it a total of three times on this blog in 2013. Oddly enough, we haven’t spoken about it since then. I think it is long overdue that we bring up the topic again. This amazing tool is the journal. Before you are tempted to dismiss this idea because of its simplicity, let me caution you against doing so.

I am going to share with you some of the reasons this tool is so effective. First of all, a handwritten journal forces us to slow down and record our thoughts. Second, we are…umm… well…recording our thoughts. Trying to keep all of our thoughts in our head can be equated to plugging more and more things into an outlet. Eventually, the circuit will blow. This could be a feeling of anxiety, a panic attack or a full-blown nervous breakdown. These are expensive physically, mentally and with the cost of healthcare, financially as well. The cost of a journal can be as cheap as a pen and a spiral notebook. This takes some of the load off that circuit. It also gives us a record to thoughts we have and what may trigger them. Often, when we write down how we are feeling and read it back later, we can feel a little foolish for how we may have reacted to a certain situation. It is good to have that record.

A journal can be a safe place to share our feelings, even if it is only with the paper. It can be a place of emotional release. A journal can be the cheapest therapist we can hire. Beautiful thing is, this therapist doesn’t have office hours and is always available. In order to keep life from becoming overwhelming for you, might I suggest picking up a journal and just begin recording your day. Getting things out will take the burden off of your mind and will help you from having a melt down, or just blowing a circuit. I would love to hear your stories about how journaling helped you. If you want to learn more about journaling, feel free to check out my book, A Happy Life for Busy People, available on Amazon or wherever fine books are sold. You can also go back and read the posts from 2013 or listen to the episode on my podcast at the link below. Whatever you choose, I would love your feedback!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE AMAZING CONTENT ON MY PODCAST 😀

HOW TO FEEL GOOD EVERYDAY 😀

Two thoughts came to my mind when I read this quote. The first thought was, “Why on earth do we not do this more often?” Sure, when someone comes to you with some bit of good news, we do say “Hey, that’s great. Congratulations.” How often do we really go all out and celebrate? We do not have to wait for the big events either. How fun would it be to have a great time and maybe lunch to celebrate your friend getting a new set of tires on their car? How about offering to take your spouse out for dinner after making it through a tough day at work? I am sure they would love that.

The second thought that came to my mind shortly after the first was “If we did this enough, we would be living in a state of celebration!” No matter who we are, we have enough friends and enough reasons to be celebrating every single day! Your friend just completed their first marathon? Doesn’t matter if you can’t even run to the bathroom, go ahead and celebrate with them. There is also an endless stream of ways to celebrate. You can take them out for lunch or dinner as we already discussed. You can also send a card. Send a fun email. Post something lavish on their social media. Pick up a small token of celebration or even offer to do a small service. I am sure you can think of more and I would love to hear about them!

Today, begin to think about and look for people and things you can celebrate. Not only will you feel good and have fun, but by showing how important others accomplishments are, you will strengthen your relationships. Your friends, coworkers and spouses will feel more important than they have in a while and you will feel good because your actions have made them happy. Everyone wins! Who can you celebrate today?

WANT MORE GREAT CONTENT? CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT MY PODCAST!😀

VISUALIZATION SECRET 🤫

There is plenty of talk about visualization these days. For good reason. It is one of the greatest tools you can use to help you reach and accomplish your goals. I know to a lot of you this may seem a little too “New Age”, but there is plenty of science behind it. In the simplest terms, if your brain is used to seeing certain items, people or situations, it is more likely to notice them when they happen in real life. Think about when you were going to buy a certain car and suddenly it seemed you saw them everywhere. Did everyone run out and buy one because you were thinking of getting one? As awesome as you are, I think we can all agree that is not a very likely scenario. Especially, because many of the people you did not even know.

There are some examples that we really can’t 100% explain with science, although quantum physics seems to be getting close. For example, when you are thinking of a friend you haven’t spoken to in a long time and suddenly that friend calls you. How does that happen? Some science behind that in terms of thoughts being waves of energy and traveling, but what we are going to talk about is a simple secret to get past one of the greatest hurdles in being able to put the power of visualization to work in your own life.

One of the greatest powers that visualization puts to work in your life is the power of your mind. Unfortunately, one of the greatest obstacles to this power working miracles in your life is the power of your mind. This can be explained by realizing there are two very distinct parts to the mind. There is the subconscious mind, which controls roughly 95% of what we do on a daily basis. It controls our bodily functions, our habits and our habitual thinking. Then there is the conscious or reasoning mind. This is the part that we have direct control over, although the degree in which we use this control varies from person to person. The only way we can communicate with our subconscious mind is indirectly, through the conscious mind. We can do this through tools such as repeating mantras or affirmations. One of the more powerful ways we can influence the subconscious is through visualization.

Here is where things get a little tricky. At least they used to for me. As great as my imagination and self-discipline are, I kept running into the same challenge. That obstacle was my conscious mind. See if this sounds familiar. I would have a mantra of “I am a wealthy best-selling author” and repeat that over and over. Maybe I would even visualize talking about one of my books on Oprah or seeing my name on top of the best-seller list. As soon as the words left my lips or the image came to mind, I would hear a voice say something like, “Not so!” or “That is a bunch of B.S.” This upset me. Who would have the nerve to shoot down my quest at influencing my subconscious mind? I was ready to correct that person until I realized it was me! My conscious and reasoning mind would object to any belief that was not yet supported by the five senses.

After years of frustration, I came across a solution in a book by Neville Goddard. I am going to share it with you in case any of you are facing the same challenge I was. Even if you are not, this can make visualization a lot easier and enjoyable. Instead of telling yourself “I am wealthy.” or “I am healthy.” Ask yourself how that would feel. This way, you still visualize yourself in the end result and your conscious mind does not object. In fact, it may go so far as to help you imagine. Asking yourself “How would it feel to have a million dollars in my bank account?” Brings up that situation. You can start to engage all of your senses. You can imagine how you would act. Where would you go and what would you be doing? You can make a game of it.

Next time you find yourself having difficulty visualizing an outcome you desire, simply ask yourself what it would feel like if that outcome was realized. Your mind will not object and will begin to go to work to find you an answer.

FOR MORE INSIGHT, CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT MY PODCAST!😀

AN EVENING OF GRATITUDE 🥰

This past Friday, I celebrated the release of my third book, The Beat Goes On, which is also available on Amazon. I was fortunate enough to host this event at an amazing place called Urbal Tea. The owner, Nick, was kind enough to offer me the space. There was enough room for everyone in a very pleasant atmosphere. As you can see, I had all three of my books available and was able to share and meet many new friends.

In addition to all of the new friends that I met, there were plenty of familiar faces. I had friends, family and coworkers. Margie made cupcakes that were so delicious, I think a few people came just for them. I am hoping this new book will help people understand the importance of self-improvement. By reading it, you will be able to witness how it affected one of the scariest and intense moments of my life. In this book it shows the tools and strategies that I personally used and that worked for me. There are moments of laughter, drama, tears and triumph.

I can’t thank everyone who came to share this amazing evening with me enough. There was so much to be thankful for and I hope I did my part to serve those who attended. In a world that can so often seem crazy, it is great to have an evening like this to look back and be grateful for.