Currently, I am working on my fourth book. It will discuss the tools and strategies that I used to go from a life of surviving, to one of thriving. Many of us, for a wide variety of reasons, are just focusing on living paycheck to paycheck. We show up at a job that does not feed our soul, and often not even our wallet. So sad is this, that the highlight of many people’s day is to go to the bathroom, sit down and look at their phones. This is not how our lives are supposed to be!
What can we do? We have to work to pay the bills. In my next book we will look at several methods to change our perspective, our emotions, and in doing so, our life. Today, I am going to give you a very basic and powerful tool to start with as you wait for your favorite author to complete his next book. Using this one tool can change mornings from something you dread, to something you can’t wait for. If this sounds a little crazy, trust me when I tell you I can understand that. I wake up for work at 4am Monday – Saturday.
What is this one activity? Finding a project that feeds your passion and makes your soul start on fire. The thought of adding one more thing to your already busy plate may seem like the last thing you would want to do, but it will actually give you energy and not drain it from you. This could be taking up a sport like bike riding or pickle ball, which seems to be all the rage at the moment. It could be planting a garden. Maybe working on that book you always wanted to write?
Having something to look forward to doing, either before or after work, will give you reason to make it through the day. It can also serve as a great mental escape when you find yourself at a job that is slowly draining your soul. You know that your passion project will help fill it back up again. It is vital that we have something to give us that inner peace and joy that allows us to make it through all that life has to throw at us. I would love to hear what passion projects you work on to feed your soul in the comments below.
For my younger readers, this here is Robert Plant. He sang for a rock band you may have heard of – Led Zeppelin. I am not sure if he really said the quote above or not. It doesn’t really matter. It is great advice we should put into action this weekend. Monday through Friday we are so inundated with news of the world. This can come from coworkers, family, friends and is even sent directly to our phones. There is war between Russia and the Ukraine. There is one now in the middle east. There are politicians fighting to outdo each other in looking asinine. It is never quite clear who is winning. I suppose it changes depending on the day. Do you know what being up to date on all of this information gets us? Not much. We can carry on a conversation in the office. It also seems to foster a feeling of hopelessness for the human race and a feeling of disgrace for humanity. Sounds fun, right? Not hardly.
This weekend, turn off the news and turn up the music. Do you know what you will lose by not being up to date on the world’s conflicts and the fools often put in charge of them? You will lose stress and a disturbance to your inner peace. Instead, do what Bob Marley advocates, and let the music take the pain away. In my first two books, A Happy Life for Busy People and Living the Dream, I advocate creating a ‘happy playlist’. Songs that lift your spirit and fill you with good vibes. It is my firm belief we should expose ourselves to positive influences at least 51% of the time. Far more than that if you would like an amazing life. Since you are reading a website titled “Secret2anamazinglife” I would surmise this to be the case.
The more we balance out the negative influences we are exposed to with positive ones of our choosing, the more inner peace we will experience. In today’s crazy world, being able to exist in peace is nothing short of a super power. Turn off the news and put on some Led Zeppelin, Bob Marley or music of your choosing. Let the music carry you away to somewhere happy. I know I will be as I celebrate my lovely lady’s birthday. How about you?
What a powerful thought for us courtesy of Anne Frank. In case you are ignorant to who Anne Frank was, she was a young Jewish girl who kept a diary while hiding in an attic from the Nazi invasion in Amsterdam. Her surviving diary gave us a great insight into what it was like during those dark times.
This particular thought is powerful because it is so true. We see people overcome with emotion at funerals. Flowers are everywhere. This is as it should be. Losing a person is the most difficult thing we go through in life. The worse emotion people experience at a funeral is seldom loss. No, worse is the emotion of regret. What we should have said, or the time we should have spent. Regret can haunt us for the rest of our lives. It can also serve as one of the best reminders and motivators to change our behavior in the future.
What should be just as, if not more, powerful is our gratitude for the people we have in our lives. Take one person that is really special in your life. Think about everything you are grateful for about that person. Do this for at the very least 30 minutes. How long do you think that list would be? Just in passing, as I write this, my list is quite long. When you focus solely on what you are grateful for about any special individual in your life, those feelings should begin to swell. When we realize how lucky we are to share life with these amazing souls, we would want to cover the room they are in with flowers!
Still not convinced? Try using the opposite end of the spectrum. Imagine everything you would lose and how much pain and lose you would feel should you lose this person tomorrow. Not very fun, I know. What it will do is help you appreciate the great gifts this person brings to your life. Combine them both and you will be surprised at how you are feeling. It may not make you want to buy them flowers, but it will overwhelm you with a feeling of gratitude for sharing life with them. When you are full of emotions such as this, can you imagine the impact it will have on your relationship with them?
Try doing this with a different person each week. You will see your relationships taken to an entirely different level. Don’t take my word for this. What takes us from the life we have to the life we love is action! Try this for yourself. Just a focused, uninterrupted 30 minutes of gratitude for one individual. Maybe do it for a week straight. They do not even have to know you are doing it. Watch what it does to your relationship with them. Not to ruin the secret, but there is an added benefit. You will be filled with more inner joy than you can imagine. Feeling gratitude is a great antidote to all of life’s trouble. The more we talk about this, the more I am excited to put this into action myself. How about you? Is there someone special in your life that you are extremely grateful for? Don’t you think they are worth 30 minutes a day of your time for a week? You owe it to them, and you owe it to yourself. Take your life, and your relationships, to the next level.
Here is a concept that many of us seem unable to grasp. In fact, the number of people fleeing from this great opportunity. The opportunity I am speaking of, is to claim responsibility for every situation in your life. Many people think the opportunity is to find someone else to blame. This may seem like the easy way out, but the opposite is actually true. If it is “someone else’s fault” then it is easy to shrug our shoulders and believe there is nothing we can do about it. Do you know what happens to improve our life when we believe there is nothing we can do about what is challenging us? Do you know what changes when we constantly believe that we are the victim? Not. A. Damn. Thing.
This point was driven home by reading the great book above. Extreme Ownership is a book that will allow you to better understand the power that comes with taking responsibility for every situation in your life. Circumstances may be beyond your control, but how you deal with them is not. When we are constantly blaming others and pointing our fingers, we are putting the keys to our life in their pocket. If we find ourselves saying things such as, “They made me mad.” We are admitting ‘They’ have control over our emotional well-being. If we say, “I chose to get upset over their actions.” That puts the onus right where it belongs, on our own doorstep figuratively speaking.
This is also where it will do the most good. When we take responsibility for something, then we have the power to change it. The more we take ownership for in our life, the more we can control. When we transfer the responsibility to others, we are left feeling helpless in our own lives. An interesting thing happens when we begin taking responsibility, we gain respect from others. Consider you are having a disagreement with another party. This could be a friend, a coworker or even your spouse. If they say (because we know you are more enlightened now) “It is your fault!” or point out everything you did wrong, how will that make you feel? Will you hold them in high esteem for bringing your faults to your attention? I am guessing the answer will be a hard ‘no’. Now, what if that same person said, “This is my fault. I could have handled this better.” Maybe they even go further to list what they did to contribute to the problem and promise to work on those things for next time? What would your opinion be of them now? What if you knew you did at least a little something that may have contributed to the problem yourself? I am guessing that despite feeling a great deal of angst for them in the moment, you could not help but respect their ownership of the problem.
One of my favorite ways this comes in handy is when we make mistakes. This also happens to be one of the most difficult times to use this. When we make a mistake, we already feel bad. It can be very tempting to look for circumstances beyond our control to blame it on. What does this do to other’s opinions of us? Does it increase their trust in us? Probably not. What about someone who stands up and admits their mistakes? Who displays ownership for them? This is someone you are likely to trust more. You know they will own, and learn from, the things they do wrong.
In your own life I recommend taking ownership over as much as you can. This may be a difficult for many of us, but it will lead to massive growth and a better life in the long run. To get a jump start on this, pick up your own copy of Extreme Ownership.
This past week we have been talking a lot about miracles. Today, I had an example of just such a thing. I would love to share it with you because, although it caused me a good deal of stress at the moment, it really pointed out a great example of how we can miss miracles. We talked about how miracles can often be overlooked because they seem like ordinary things. Today, served an example of how we can lose them in a sea of stress and chaos.
I was returning from one of my many hikes in nature with my mother. Traffic was heavy because it was about rush hour. We were turning from one busy street onto another. As I was turning onto the street, a young man on a bicycle went through the red light and I had to slam on my brakes to miss running him over by mere inches. I honked my horn. The young man, blissfully lacking in care or concern for any accidents he may have caused as well as his own life, did not even turn to look in our direction. My mother and I, on the other hand, had a rather unexpected trip closer to the dashboard and steering wheel than expected. The contents from a craft fair my lovely lady was in shifted greatly.
The rest of the drive to drop my mother off at her house and take me to mine was stressful. For anyone who has almost been in an accident, you know that you get shakes and your adrenaline spikes. My mother was questioning how the young man could be so careless, even after the incident. What we both decided, that it was a miracle that nobody was injured or worse. It would have been his fault, but I cannot imagine the knowledge that I injured or killed someone on my conscious. It was upsetting, and many people would have continued their anger, and rightfully so. That would only serve to continue our stress. We chose to focus on the gratitude that everything turned out for the best.
All of this does not mean we were ignorant to what could have happened. Quite the contrary. By realizing how this could have impacted so many lives and families negatively, only made us realize how much we had to be grateful for. What this did was take us from an emotional state of stress and anger, to one of relief and gratitude. This only helped make our day better. Finding the gratitude in such a crazy situation is a miracle in itself. Focusing on gratitude in a stressful situation is far better for your mental and physical well-being. Stress can drain us and deplete our immune system.
Next time you find yourself in a stressful situation, do your best to find something to be grateful for. It may be difficult at first, but it will save your day and might end up saving your life. Prolonged exposure to stress is the cause of many of our most severe health issues. Anytime you can take actions to reduce stress, or better yet replace it with gratitude, you are doing yourself a favor.
Here is a book I cannot recommend enough. Not only because it was written by a very good friend of mine, but because of what it can do for you, and even more, why it was written. You will not only enjoy reading the funny stories contained within, you will be learning as you do so. It will not take you long as it is a quick read, but you will walk away with a greater understanding of your own life by reading about the authors.
Within each chapter, Kurt, the author, shares a story from his life. They are all entertaining, and many stir up emotion. After the story, he shares the lesson he learned. It may remind you of something similar that happened in your own life. It may even start the gears in your brain turning and thinking about how many lessons you could pull from your own life experiences! What if that happens? Do not worry, Kurt has you covered. After the lesson, there is a space you can jot down notes that have occurred to you while reading the proceeding chapter. You don’t have to even have a separate notebook handy. How great is that?
Last week, the author stopped by to help Margie and I with a technical issue. He, and his wonderful lady, shared a meal with my lovely lady and I. We talked as friends do and he shared with us a very gripping story. I would have normally supported this book because the author is my friend and it really will positively impact a lot of lives, but the why behind how it was finally brought to market makes me want to do so even more. Kurt and his mother were very close. He shared many of the fun activities they would do together. I can relate to that as my mother and I often go hiking and get coffee, among other such things. Sadly, Kurt’s mother was diagnosed with cancer. When that happened, they still spent time together by watching movies together. One evening after doing so, he got her a bowl of ice cream and told her he loved her before leaving. She told him, “I love you more.” and he left. The next day she had a doctor’s appointment but tragically did not make it to that appointment. She passed away.
Before she had passed, she made her son promise to publish his book. To honor his mother, he did just that. It is my firm belief, she would not only be proud of her son, but of the amazing book he created. I know she will be looking down and be filled with joy at all the lives her son will have impacted with his thoughtful book. Won’t you honor both him and her by allowing his book to touch your life? You will walk away a more introspective and thoughtful individual, and you will help a young man who kept his promise to his mother. I have included the link to order the book below. You can also search Nothing is Everything by Kurtis W Perkins on Amazon yourself. I would love to hear how this wonderful book has impacted your life, as would Kurt. Feel free to leave a positive review on Amazon to let others know as well.
Pick any great virtue in life and one thing holds true. It is not a destination but a journey. Want to be courageous? You can’t be brave one time and give yourself the title. You must be brave every day. You also cannot be brave in one area of your life and a coward in the rest. If so, you are not brave my friend.
There is no virtue this holds more true in than that of greatness. You want to be great? Do not focus on accomplishments of great deeds, but focus exclusively on becoming a great person. What is the difference? If you are to be great, you would not strive to be abundant and treat others poorly. You would not focus on acquiring great knowledge to the detriment of your health. You would not even be considered a knowledgeable person, as your lack of knowledge about staying healthy would be evident.
Here, ladies and gentlemen, is the secret to greatness. Doing a lot of small things well. If you drop trash on the ground, you pick it up because it is your name attached to it. Not because someone may be watching, but because you are watching you. Greatness is doing your best at everything you do. That is becoming great. Greatness is as much a habit as it is anything else. How you do one thing is how you end up doing everything. You cannot act and be poor in one area and expect to be great in another. This may work for a while, but the truth will be revealed.
We do fall to the level of our training. This is especially true when we are under pressure. This is both good and bad news. It is bad news if we can expect to be disciplined in one area of our life and not in any others. We should not strive to be a disciplined _____, but strive to be a disciplined person. If we do work on training our mind and our actions for greatness and to strive to be the best version of ourselves, when we fall back to the level of our training, it will be greatness. Here is one way in which we can accomplish this.
It is here that I must slightly disagree with Mother Teresa. Doing small things with great love is, by our definition here, greatness. Love is a great motivator. How much you love the idea of greatness and becoming a great human being. Thinking about those you love and why you are doing it. In my journey to become a great man, a good deal of that is for the woman I love. She deserves a great man. Every time I am tempted to act in a way that falls below the standards of what I think a great man should be, I think of how much I love her and what she deserves. That love keeps me dedicated to the task of being a great gentleman.
Greatness, my friends, is not a place to be reached. It is a course of action to be pursued every day. It must be done in everything we do. We must remember that greatness is not so much a trait as it is a habit. We must train our minds to operate with a level of greatness. We must set high standards for ourselves. Only by raising our own standards can we hope to grow as individuals. All of this may sound like hard work, and at times it is, but it is attainable. We all have the power to change our habits and act more in according to a way that raises us closer to the level of greatness.
When I saw this quote, it sure made me chuckle. It did get me thinking about how many groups we belong to. Whether we voluntarily join them, or in the case of Wally World, are forced to become a part of them. Here is the cool thing about it. The more groups we recognize that we belong to, the better off we are. When we only think about one group, say a political or religious affiliation, and define ourselves solely by that, we create division. “That person is X and I am a Y.” However, if we see that person stuck in the self-checkout waiting for a human to come fix their transaction, just like us, suddenly they become more familiar.
With the advent of the internet and other such technologies, the world is becoming smaller than ever. I can turn on my television in the United States and tune into a Ugandan television station. We can go on social media and chat with someone halfway around the globe. You often hear me mention my friend who reads this blog in Italy. He is an Italian, married to a Filipino woman. I am an American attached to a sweet French, English, Irish (among other things). We could point out many differences. You know what I notice? We are both gentleman with impeccable music tastes that are interested in bettering ourselves, exploring the natural world around us and creating a great relationship with our ladies.
In any situation, we can find many differences among us. We can also find many different souls in one of the groups we find ourselves in. It is ironic how foreign a person and their ideas may seem until we find that common ground. Even challenges, such as a medical condition, can bring us in the company of others we may not think about otherwise associating with. Next time you are tempted to discount another person based on their political beliefs, sexual orientation or religion, remember, they may be at the Walmart Self-checkout just like us.
The thought today is such an important one. It is my firm belief that everyone should share their story. With the options in media we have to choose from, there really is no excuse not to. You could do it in a podcast. You could write a blog like this one. You could write your own book. You could become a speaker and share your message that way. Whatever way you choose, it would benefit the world if you were to share it.
When I say this, people struggle with the fact that their message is one worth sharing. “I am just a house wife.” or “I am just a server/bartender/barista.” they say. How many other people fill that same role around the world? Do you think they would love to read about the challenges you face? Do you think they could benefit from shaking their head saying, “Yep, I’ve been there!” I think you know the answer is yes.
The other challenge people have when it comes to sharing their story is they think they are not a success. I have heard them say, “I haven’t done everything right. I am still a mess.” That’s great! Do you know how many of us are still learning? That would be all of us. Sometimes hearing everyone’s success stories can make us feel like even more of a failure. To hear that there is someone who is still has not figured it all out, may give them hope and assure them they are not alone. This is why it is so important to share your story.
Remember to share your story. Your ‘mess’ can be just the message someone needs to hear. You can share your message in so many different ways. Each one can touch a different soul. You, and your story could very well be the answer to someone’s prayer.
Last post we spoke of finding the miracles in our ordinary lives. It is a lesson that is too easy to forget. I must confess, I often fail to see these miracles. It is about this time that my mood seems to falter. As soon as I express gratitude for these miracles, my level of joy and inner peace begins to climb once again. When you recognize the truly miraculous events that have to take place for your life to move on as it does, you will really raise your vibration and be filled with more joy and inner peace than you have in your life up to that point.
Does this sound like a bunch of hype? Maybe your life at this moment seems far from a miracle? Here is the very important part about miracles. Pay attention now, I really don’t want anyone to miss this. Miracles are rarely, if ever, linear. What this means is that you often cannot witness the miracle in short-term. When you look back, do you know what you discover? Treasure beyond your wildest dreams. Here is another very important thing to remember. If you do not look for the treasure, you will never find it. Although right in front of you, it will remain hidden to you.
Allow me to explain this further by way of a personal example. Many of you know that I went through open-heart surgery and died, albeit briefly. When asked about what I gained out of that experience, many people go for the obvious. They assume, correctly I might add, that I gained a new appreciation for my mortality and how fleeting life is. There was so much more than that. When I look back on the experience, there are so many miracles that had to fall in line for me to be sharing this information with you today.
It all began with my trip to the gym. I had been doing cross fit and was in arguably the best shape of my life. This particular day I was on a cross trainer machine and feeling good. I was full of energy. I just happened to look down and see the heart rate. It read 222. Normal for my age was 93-150. On past occasions, I would have just ignored that number and went on exercising. I am not always the smartest when it comes to listening to my body. This day I decided to call someone. The doctor? No. My lovely Margie. She immediately chastised me for continuing to exercise and insisted I did call the doctor. This I did on the drive home from the gym. Those in the medical profession, who were a lot smarter than yours truly, insisted I go directly to the hospital, but not drive myself. This was ironic as this conversation occurred while I was driving.
That trip in the hospital shed light on the fact I had a deformed heart valve. I was born with this, but nobody in the 43 years prior had shared such information with me. I was also enlightened to the fact that I had a aneurism. As I told the doctor, “This information has never come across my desk.” It was not large enough to require surgery, but needed monitoring. If it were to rupture, it could impact my life negatively, by…well…ending it. This was in 2018. For the next 3 years I had checkups twice a year. They all ended the same way. “You are messed up, but not any more messed up than you were when you were initially messed up.” This diagnosis was always followed with the requirement to pay a hefty $2000. Needless to say, I stopped going for these checkups.
Part of the treatment for the last 3 years was to put me on a ‘just in case’ medicine. This wonderful medicine made me have slightly more energy than a sloth after dinner. When picking up a refill, I happened to mention this to the pharmacist. She looked at the dose and suggested I ask the doctor to reduce it. I pulled out my phone right there and gave the good doctor a call. His response was in order to get a reduction in dose, I must return to receiving the checkups. I thought this was useless, but to avoid being cast as a sloth in the next Disney production, I agreed.
The test was the following week. I was informed the doctor would call me with the results in a few days. When the doctor did call, I happen to be leaving the gym once again. I was expecting the usual diagnosis of ‘no change’. What I heard next surprised me quite a bit. “I think it is time for surgery.” It would appear since my last examination, I had passed the threshold for surgery. By quite a margin I might add.
Going through that open-heart surgery, and all the challenges that went with it, had me feeling in pain more than grateful. Upon reflection, there were so many miracles that had taken place to get me where I am today. Being on a machine that took my heart rate. Deciding not to be a knucklehead and get that checked out. Having the pharmacist suggest I call my doctor to get my medicine reduced. Having the doctor insist to another exam before doing so. If any one of these things had not happened, my aneurism may have burst, and my trip to the great beyond would have been a permanent change of address.
How about in your own life? Can you think about cases where situations came together just right to allow everything to come together? These are life’s miracles. Let me assure you that all of our lives have them. It is up to us to notice them and be grateful for them. It is then that the treasure appears. It may not be gold and jewels, but it is a sense of inner peace, joy and gratitude that will radically transform your life more than mere money evercould.
