Remember to exercise this freedom. Our circumstances may be beyond our control. Our spouse, our boss or the person driving next to us may not act as we wish them to. Trying to control that is a waste of time. What would serve us better is to work on controlling our response to their actions. There is a big difference between giving someone the finger and laughing at their lack of consideration and saying, “thanks for helping me practice controlling my anger and growing my patience.”
In case this sounds like something that is only possible to people is easy situations, let’s look at the man who gave us this quote. Victor Frankl was a Jewish psychologist who was imprisoned in a concentration camp. He had his entire family killed, yet still found a way to give himself the motivation to continue. Knowing by surviving, he would be able to tell the story of what happened to him and help prevent it in the future, he was able to endure. His book, Man’s Search for Meaning is a must read.
Next time we think controlling our reaction is beyond our control, remember a man sentenced to death in a concentration camp could manage, so can we.
Friday, we made it through another week! In all of our lives we have those monsters. It could be a demanding boss. It could be that relative that looks down on us. Anyone in our lives looking for us to fail. Those who are jealous of us. Those who are just unhappy with their own lives. Maybe it is just our inner demons, telling us we can’t succeed.
Like Frank Sinatra said, “The best revenge is massive success.” Of blue eyes was on to something there. Smiling in the face of any monster, be it internal or external, is the greatest victory. You might be asking, “Neil, what if my week was not a success?” Great question. Even if your week has been a total dumpster fire, you are still here. You made it through and there is still the potential for success.
Earl Nightingale gave us this definition of success, “success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” The key word is progressive. As long as you are still working towards your goal, YOU are a success. Enjoy your Friday. Smile at the monster.
Here is a simple strategy I highly suggest all of us should do. It takes one of the more difficult decisions we have to make and turns it into a fun activity. What is this decision? Better yet, what is this activity? Let us take a look.
Have you ever felt stuck at your job? Have you ever found yourself asking, “Isn’t there something better for me?” Maybe you are one of the lucky people who really enjoy your job. Still, you feel there is something that could be more fulfilling? Something that is more in line with your life’s purpose. What then?
I often find myself sitting in my car outside of work asking these very questions. That actually is a picture of me sitting in my car. Here is what I suggest we do. Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle so you create two columns. On the top of one, write “things I really enjoy” or something like that. On top the other write “things that suck my soul” or something like that.
Now simply list everything that you do that really brings a smile to your face and heart. In my case, drinking coffee, listening to classic jazz, taking to people about themselves and encouraging them. List as many as you can think of. They don’t have to make sense to anyone but you.
Now, on the other side, list all of the things that seem to drain the very life from your soul. For me, it is being around drunk people, negativity, and being outside in the cold. Again, they don’t have to relate to each other. Just any thing that you really don’t enjoy.
Take a look at your list. The agragete of which should hint as to what kind of occupation may serve you well. Even if you want to keep the job you have now, it may give you an idea of a hobby or side hustle that could give you more emotional fulfillment. In my case, drinking coffee while talking to, and encouraging, others has me thinking talk show host would be the perfect job. Sadly, I can’t walk into a major network and get my own talk show. What I could do, is start my own podcast! I created the Living The Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. I highly recommend checking it out wherever you stream content.
The second list will give you an idea of what to minimize in your daily experience. Reducing these can increase your feelings of vitality and life satisfaction. Writing it down is the key. If we try bouncing this around in our noggin, we will just end up creating more stress for ourselves.
I’ll be interested in hearing what some of the things on your lists are, and what career, side hustle or hobby you come up with. Please feel free to share yours in the comments!
Do you like to argue? I am guessing if you are reading a site like this, the answer would be ‘no’. Generating more stress in your life is a very poor waste of energy. That is energy that you can spend in laughter, gratitude and inner peace. This seems pretty logical, and it really should be. Ask yourself, how many people get upset over things people like that they do not? Take the Pumpkin Spice craze. There is pumpkin spice lattes of course. There is also pumpkin spice creamer, ice cream, Little Debbie cakes and a million other items. I think pumpkin spice tastes awful. Most of the time it tastes fake and artificial to me. Do you know what I do when someone I am out with orders one? Do I feel compelled to tell them how much I dislike it? No. Why? if it brings them joy why would I ruin it?
This holds true with everything else in this list as well. Unlike pumpkin spice, I love avocado toast. Would I really want to hear about how ordering it is not a good value? Would I want to hear that it is not as healthy as some people say? How about how someone doesn’t like the taste of it? No. I just want to enjoy my damn avocado toast. This is really crazy when it comes to things people are fans of. Like teams, television shows or whatever else. If it is not the same as us, we usually tell them how ours is better and theirs is not. Oddly enough, this seems to happen in religion too. Have you ever heard someone say, “I know your team lost to my team today, but they played a great game?” If so, it doesn’t happen that often. How about this, “I know you belong to a different religion than me, but I admire how dedicated to your faith you are?” It doesn’t have to be that intense. Do you know what most of us would be better off saying when we come across someone who likes something we don’t? Not a damn thing. If it does not harm them or someone else, and it brings them joy, let them have it.
This also makes you a lot more pleasant to be around. If you wish to be a better liked friend, here is a two-fold secret to becoming one. First, when someone voices their admiration for something you don’t like, fight the urge to inform them of your distaste for it. Just try saying nothing. If they happen to mention liking something you do like, enthusiastically add to it. If you are keeping score at home, let us recap. Do not put down what you don’t like and be enthusiastic about what you do like.
Imagine the difference in being around someone who is constantly telling you how much your team sucks, or the television show you like sucks. How awful that flavor of ice cream you just ordered is. This would not be very enjoyable. Now, what if this person only spoke up to tell you how much they liked that movie that is your favorite or how they always dreamt about going to Fiji as well? (Ok, that last one is a personal favorite) How much more enjoyable would hanging out with this person be? Which one are you most of the time?
Anyone who knows me, knows I love coffee. As I write this, I am sitting in a coffee shop. My computer has 2 local coffee shops advertised on it. Coffee, like life is very customizable. If your coffee is too strong, you can add cream. Too bitter? Throw a sugar or honey in there. Too weak? Use more grounds. Too thick? Use less grounds. Coffee comes in a range of different quality as well. You can get a can of store brand coffee for less than ten dollars. My favorite coffee is Jamaican Blue Mountain. This, will cost you around fifty dollars a pound. Life is like that. We can be blessed with a Blue Mountain coffee kind of life. Maybe our parents are rich. We have our health and a great circle of friends. That life may seem to taste great. We may also be given a ‘Chuck Full o’Nuts’ life. In case you are not familiar, that is a coffee that can be found on the more economical end of the spectrum. It also happens to be really fun to say. In the case of life, this can be a life where we grow up in a single home. Maybe our family struggles to pay the bills? Maybe you grow up with some health challenges? This life can seem to taste bitter and not so good.
Why did I use the word ‘seem’ in my mentioning of how life tastes? Let us refer back to our coffee analogy to better understand. If I have some Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee, which should happen more often, it does not guarantee that I will have a great cup of coffee. What if I left that coffee sitting open on the counter for several weeks? What if I decided that since I liked it so much, I was going to double the amount of grounds that I was going to use? Maybe I made the coffee with distilled water? In these cases, the coffee would not taste great. Same with a Blue Mountain kind of life. How many kids, who seemed to have it all end up with a terrible life? You may have a lot of money and decide to indulge in recreational drug use. You may have your health, but throw it away by partying every weekend, or more. You may simply focus on the material aspect of life and live an unfulfilled existence.
Just as having some Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee does not guarantee a great cup of coffee, Chuck Full o’Nuts does not mean you will have a terrible cup of coffee. If you use just the right amount of grounds, if you store them correctly, if you use some great spring water, the coffee will taste really good. Do you know what else makes the coffee taste good? Being grateful for the fact you have some coffee. I grew up in what may be described as a Chuck Full o’Nuts life. My parents were divorced. My mom was a single mom with 2 kids which meant we never really had a lot of money. I had bad allergies and asthma growing up. This meant I often had to avoid certain sports and social activities. Does that mean I now live a bitter and bad tasting life? Not at all!
Just like our coffee example, I could have continued to drink the bitter coffee, but I did my best to make it taste good. My life was a little bitter, so I added the sweetness of my beautiful Margie. The obstacles were a little too strong at times with the allergies and asthma. I added the ‘cream’ of eating healthier and taking charge of my health. Now, my ‘Chuck Full o’Nuts life’ tastes better than many Jamaican Blue Mountain lives. It is cliché, but life really is 10% what you are given and 90% what you do with it.
I like my coffee, and my life, delicious. Therefore, I take the time to make them that way. What about you?
Here is an idea I heard from Dr. Livingood, whose coffee I really enjoy! What is shelf-improvement? You might ask. Is it making sure a shelf is sturdy and properly hung? No. Is it improving a shelf with a little bit of paint or stain? Again, no. This is what happens when you buy a book, CD, course or any other item with the intent of improving yourself, only to read a small portion, if any, of it and place it on a shelf. I am guilty of this myself. You have heard the saying, “Knowledge is power.” That is not true. Knowledge is only potential power. With out assimilation and action, it has little, if any, effect on our lives.
My books, especially the first two, are of little good to anyone if the tools and strategies inside are not put into action. The first one might help cheer you up with the smiley face on the cover. The second one has a great tropical theme, but neither one will radically transform your life without putting to use what is inside. There are even people who read a book, try something for one or two days, and declare it doesn’t work. If you are going to invest money in purchasing something, time in reading it, do yourself a favor and invest the energy and discipline in actually doing what is inside.
Here is a book that I have picked up, read a little and designated to the ‘shelf-improvement’ file. I am sure Mr. Mandino would not be thrilled with that. You can see, I am as guilty as anyone of this. What is the solution? Realizing that NOTHING will work if we do not. I like to compare self-improvement with a fitness journey. You could spend a lifetime researching the best trainers, the best diets, the best gyms or you could just get outside and start walking. You will eventually learn what works for you and how to make it better. You will learn a lot quicker by doing, than by reading, thinking and planning.
What self-improvement items have become shelf-improvement items in your life? Aren’t you worth the effort to put these things into action? It can be difficult to maintain the discipline, but that is what will make it worth it. I would love to hear what books, courses or other items are shelf-improvement items in your life and how you plan to put them into action! If you are interested in picking up any of my books, just click the link below. Just remember to use them when they arrive!
I can’t help but really enjoy this quote. It reminds us that although we have made mistakes, we can still create a masterpiece. We may be broken in some, or even many, ways. This does not prevent us from creating a life that is a work of art. In fact, it just might help us do it even better! People who have broken, not only have an added aspect of credibility, they also have that real-life experience. They know what works. Not just in theory, but it real world application.
Would you rather get advice from someone who has read a book on a subject, or lived it? That is why I make a point to try out all of the suggestions we share here at Secret2anamazinglife. Often, what sounds good on paper, does not work in the real world. Remember, when you are feeling broken, that may very well be where your true beauty comes from!
For those of you who might not be aware, I also have a podcast! It is called Living The Dream with Neil Panosian. You can find it wherever you stream content. Free on Audible, Amazon Prime, Apple Podcasts and of course Spotify.
I’ll give the Spotify link below, but feel free to follow me wherever you stream! I look forward to hearing your feedback!
So many books, movies and philosophies are concerned with the meaning of life. I guess it is good to ponder the direction one’s life is going. Do you know what is infinitely better? Creating it!
This weekend, if you haven’t already, take some time to get clear as to what the meaning of your life is going to be. This doesn’t matter if you are 18 or 80. As the saying goes, “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today. ”
Getting clear, for the first time perhaps, as to what the purpose of your life is, will have amazing benefits! Stress will be reduced. Energy will be increased. Indecision will be a thing of the past. You will have a definite idea of what is right and wrong for your life. Most importantly, you will be able to decipher if you are going in the right direction or not. If not, you will be able to take corrective actions.
With all of these benefits, and more, isn’t spending some time deciding what the purpose of your life worth it? In fact, it is worth its weight in gold!
Everyone knows this time of year is tough for me. The Wisconsin State Fair, one of my favorite events, has ended. This also means my yearly 2 week vacation is also over. Cold weather is on its way. Every year I do my best to find inspiration.
This quote is very helpful. In life we all have those times when it feels like we are losing everything. It doesn’t have to be the end of summer. It can be when you need to go to both the dentist and the mechanic in the same week. Your relationship and your job could be falling apart at the same time.
Regardless of what the situation is, looking at the trees as they start to lose their leaves can remind us that although things can look bleak and dead, it can just be a phase of life. Just like a tree continues to grow in the winter, we can continue to grow in the winters of our life. Remember how the trees boom again and come back to life in spring. Often, we just need to hang on and make it through the season.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 