It is estimated that we have 60,000 thoughts a day. It may be hard to imagine, but when you think of how much our brain jumps from one thought to the next, it really shouldn’t be. As an author, I think that number might even be double.
This year, let us focus on making a good percentage of those thoughts positive and empowering. According to the national science foundation, 80% of our thoughts are negative. Somehow, that is the human default. Scary part is, 95% of our thoughts are repetitive. If you are keeping score at home, 80% of what we think is negative and we repeat that 95% of the time. Is it any wonder our lives are not ones of overwhelming joy and fulfillment?
This year, take some time, even 5 minutes a day, to relax and focus on something positive. I would recommend starting with things you are grateful for. Then even try adding thingsyou are looking forward to. Let us make this year one where we defy the numbers and have more positive thoughts and repeat them!
Happy New Year to all of our family at secret2anamazinglife.com! As we all begin our journey into 2024, let us ignite a fire that will burn in our soul. Let us fan the flames of hope, love and resilience! Let us fill and strengthen both our spirit, and those around us.
Share what you are going to do to help you burn bright this year and show the wonderful light that is you.
Today we are celebrating! It is the first time in this site’s 11 year history that we have had a post every day for an entire year. It was a goal of mine to bring more inspiration and motivation to all who read this. As many of us look to create our own resolutions for the New Year, we should take a look at why and how we were successful in having a post daily for a year.
First, start where you are with what you have. Although we have been talking about having a post every day for a year, this is actually the 546 straight day we have had a post. When I decided that was my goal for the coming year, it was sometime in mid summer of last year. Why should I wait for the first of the year to start? Part of the reason I was successful was I had a strong enough ‘why’. In having a post daily, I knew the audience for this site would grow. We are now over 100,000 views in over 200 countries. I also knew I would reach and engage with more people the more content I would put out. The more people reached, the more people could get an assist in living an amazing life. The more people living amazing lives, the better our planet would be.
Were there days I struggled with posting? You bet. Being an author, speaker, DJ and full-time day job as well, time is crazy. Another one of my goals was to improve the quality and depth of my relationship with my lovely lady. That takes time and dedication. All of these things could have been legitimate reasons not to have a blog. Then, I needed to use negative motivation for my goals. What is negative motivation? I needed to consider what would happen if we did not have a post here. There may be someone who was in a dark emotional place that was looking forward to reading what we have to say here. What would happen if they came to discover there was nothing to read? Hearing all of the negativity that the world seems to bring to our attention daily, I knew that this site needed to be a balance to that. If people were not given another source for knowledge and inspiration, I was not doing my part to leave the world a better place than I found it. This is, after all, my life’s mission, or at least part of it.
In closing, this accomplishment leaves me feeling just one way…grateful. I consider it a blessing to be able to share with you everything I learn along my journey of life. I am thankful for all of the souls who join me on this journey. There is nothing but gratitude for the friends I have made and the input they have given. I look forward to hearing from more of you in the year to come. 2024 will bring you my fourth book, as well as many other surprises including new episodes of the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. In addition, we will continue to have great and valuable content here to share with you. We always welcome your feedback and look forward to living an amazing life with you in 2024.
John Wooden is one of my favorite persons that I have studied. His attention to detail and the importance he placed on character are some of the greatest lessons we can all learn. I am going to share two of them with you here, and then we are going to end by taking a hard look at the quote above.
One lesson I recall was his pregame approach. He told all of his players to check for wrinkles in their socks. His players, much like you might be doing right now, looked at him quizzically. What does worrying about a wrinkle in your sock have to do with winning basketball games? That seemingly minor inconvenience, left unattended to, would lead to irritation, and eventually a blister. This would leave the player unable to perform at their best.
In our own life, how many minor irritations do we let go until they are preventing us from performing at our best? Every morning, as I put on my socks and shoes, I am reminded of this simple lesson. To make sure even the smallest, seemingly unimportant, details are attended to. Paying attention to the small details before they become larger problems will allow our life to proceed in a far easier fashion. Can you imagine if you never changed the oil in your car until the engine started acting up? By then there would be far greater, and more expensive, problems to deal with. Think of this tomorrow as you put on your socks and shoes. As a bonus, this has saved me much pain when I have set out on hikes with my mother.
His other advice he gave his players was not to pay attention to the score board. This may not seem like something you would hear a coach say, but he had good reason. If the players saw that they were up by a lot of points, they may relax a little and get sloppy. If they saw they were down by a lot of points, they may give up and quit playing hard. Even if they saw the game was close, they may get nervous and make mistakes. Instead, coach Wooden told them to focus on playing the best they could each and every play. If they did that, when they looked up at the score at the end of the game, they would like what they saw. How about you? How much of your effort in life is influenced by the circumstance you find yourself in? If we all just focused on being the best version of ourselves that we could be each and every day, I think when we look at the scoreboard of our life, we would like what we see.
Lastly, we will talk about the quote we started this post with. “Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.” This really is one of the great keys to life. There will be ups and downs. It is not our circumstances that decide if we will be successful, but our mindset. Therefore, you stand a better chance at success if you work on improving your mindset over your circumstances.
Can you imagine walking everywhere leading with your butt? Just picture that for a second, walking into a room butt first. How ridiculous would that be? Some people seem to lead into every conversation talking out of this, but that is a matter for a different post. It is obvious that you would not want to lead with your butt in life. It would really make it difficult to see where you are going. It would also create several obstacles where there should be none. Think about trying to open a door butt first. This would be difficult, if not impossible. How about driving butt first? Not only very dangerous, but could be fatal. All of these, and more, would be so much easier if we would just leave the butt where it belongs – behind us.
Not recommended
Other than highlighting things that would be comical or dangerous to be done being led byyour posterior, and providing some comic relief in your day, what does all of this have to do with living an amazing life? Before I answer that question, let me share that looking up “Images of a butt” to write this blog is not something you would want to do in a public space…say like Starbucks. The reason we are discussing this today is far too many of us to go through life leading with our butt. Before you stop me and say although you have seen people driving who resemble a butt, they are usually facing the right way, we are not talking about the body part.
Today we are talking about people who are led by the word, and worse the thought, ‘but’. You know the people I am talking about. The ones who say, “I could have a better job, BUT” or “I would take better care of my health BUT” They are leaving room for their excuses. I understand that in life there are plenty of obstacles. It can be easy to through out a ‘but’ here and there to excuse our lack of progress, or even sometimes lack of effort.
When it comes to any project or goal we are pursuing, if we lead with a ‘but’ we are no likely to succeed than that poor individual trying to open the door with the seat given to them by mother nature. When we begin with a ‘but’ we are highlighting our obstacles and short-circuiting our success. Yes, there will be challenges along the way. However, using them as an excuse will have us looking like the young man on the toilet in the picture above. Do not lead with your butt. Much like the physical example, doing so in word and thought will create obstacles where there was none and make every situation more difficult.
Get the ‘buts’ out of your life. If you find yourself uttering this phrase, or thinking this way, too often, realize that you cannot lead with your butt. Picture our friend trying to open the door, people facing the wrong way behind the wheel or even our toddler confused in the restroom. They all look really silly, and so will you. Do not let ‘but’ ruin your chance for success. Just like when you are walking through life, make sure the ‘buts’ stay where they belong – behind you.
Just a reminder, no matter how tough life seems, it is not as tough as you!It won’t be easy, it may be rough, but if you just keep going you will get through. Feel free to read through the over 2000+posts on secret2anamazinglife.com to fill you with inspiration and motivation. We are always here to help. If there is a subject you would like us to discuss, leave it in the comments or send us a message.
We are here to believe in you and support you in your dreams!
After a season of gift giving, let us not forget about the person in the mirror. One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is to take charge of our own happiness. Too many times we hear people say things like this – “I was having a great day until —-” or “How can I be happy when traffic is bad, my boss is a jerk and the bills keep growing?”
My response to any of this is to ask if you know of anyone who has faced any of these circumstances, often worse ones, and managed to keep a positivedisposition? My second book, Living the Dream, has a collection of stories of people who faced much worse than you and I probably will and are some of the most positive people I know.
The Secret they use, and we can too, is to not let our circumstances dictate our happiness. Be determined not to let others, or even life in general, tell you how to feel. Do not give anyone, or anything, that much control over your life! Make happiness an inside job.
This holiday season, the best gift you can give is to be the best gift! As we talked about last post, by expressing gratitude and genuine appreciation? Who would not want to hear why people think they are an awesome part of their life? The true gifts of the holiday are the times we share and the people we spend them with. Another great idea is to share happy memories you have while you are creating new ones. Maybe start a new enjoyable holiday tradition that will bring joy to all of those attending?
These are ways in which we can bring amazing gifts while being the best gift at the party. Make this holiday the best by giving others inner joy to carry with them not only during the holiday season, but all year long! This is what holidays should be all about. If you have any suggestions for adding joy and happiness to our holiday season, or fun holiday traditions you celebrate, please share them with us in the comments. In this way, you will be adding joy to those who read this blog in over 200 countries, celebrating a wide array of holidays. Here at secret2anamazinglife, we wish you and yours a safe, healthy and happy holiday season.
Tomorrow, a good portion of the earth’s population, as well as a good number of our readers, will be celebrating Christmas. Many will do it for religious reasons. Some, for more secular reasons. For many the holidays can be a difficult time and celebrating is the last thing they want to do. Much like anything in life, there are so many variables that it no one person feels the same about the holiday season. Today, we are going to look at a few tips that can make your holiday a lot more enjoyable. This holds true no matter what holiday you celebrate, or how and why you do so. Let us jump right in!
Just like the 14 different holidays that are celebrated this time of year, there are so many ways to celebrate them. Are you celebrating at home with your immediate family? Perhaps you are traveling to gather with a larger selection of family. Maybe you are having family travel to you. Perhaps you are college student celebrating with friends. Maybe you find yourself celebrating alone this year? Whatever the situation might be, and even if it is a different holiday you are celebrating, these tips will help you enjoy it more!
First tip, holiday stress – don’t do it. Easier said than done right? Trust me, my beautiful lady gets anxious if the toilet paper doesn’t match the napkins, or something like that. Sure, do what you can to make your guest have an enjoyable time, or to be an enjoyable guest, but don’t stress about it. What happens if the power goes out and you are unable to cook dinner? You light some candles, order a pizza and have a great funny story for the future. Just adapt and overcome. Nothing is as serious as we often view it. There was one holiday where one of my relatives walked right through someone’s screen door. They were horrified and thought they ruined the whole night. Now? We laugh about it and use it as an ice-breaker. Remember the point is to have fun, not to be perfect.
Gifts, another great source of stress. Have you ever found yourself in this situation? You don’t know what to get someone and decide on the Winnie-the-Pooh coffee mug. They didn’t know what to get you either and they decided on an engraved diamond necklace. Now you feel like a cheapskate and might have been better off buying nothing. How about the other way around? You spend the time, money and mental effort picking out the perfect gift. What do you receive from them? A stuffed poop emoji that squeaks. You are left wondering why you stressed at all and how that money could have went in your Fiji vacation fund. This is not at all what holidays should be like. It really is the thought that counts. I am guessing at some point, during some holiday, you will find yourself in one of the above situations. It happens. Shrug it off and move on. Do not stress. If someone judges you based on your gift, that is on them, not you.
Lastly, something that can both reduce stress and be the perfect gift! Maybe we should’ve started with this one? The perfect gift and something that can bring joy and reduce stress at the same time…gratitude! Expressing genuine gratitude to those around you and telling everyone what you appreciate about them can lighten the mood of any party. How great would you holiday be if several people come up and genuinely tell you why you, in their eyes, are totally awesome? Let us all give each other the gift of gratitude and encouragement this year. Follow these 3 tips and your holiday celebration will be a lot more enjoyable! If you have any holiday tips, feel free to share them in the comments below!
This post is a little deep for a Saturday. We will do our best to keep it brief as well. In so much as we can. This occurred to me as I was on my way to the gym today. I was listening to a motivational video to pump me up a little, as this was following a 9 hour work day. In the video the speaker advocated recalling the worst emotional pain you have ever felt. In my life, there have been many, so I decided to pick a recent one. This is where it gets interesting.
The moment I was reflecting on this time was a twofold situation I found myself in almost 2 years ago. It was the day of my open-heart surgery. This happened to be taking place during the second wave of the Covid scare. I was to have no visitors while I was in the hospital. This was only explained to me the day before surgery. When I relayed this information to both my mother who was to drive me that day, as well as my lovely lady, Margie, it did not go over as well as I am sure the hospital had hoped. They immediately launched into a plan to sneak into the hospital with me. Although I advised against this course of action, they were not to be dissuaded.
They thought they were being as crafty as two spies, it probably resembled 2 comedy actresses. To their credit, we all made to the operating floor. I recall a long line of plastic chairs we all sat it. If memory serves, they were orange. At that moment, I knew we were to be discovered any second and they would be escorted out. There was so much I wanted to say to both of them before what was a possibly life or death surgery. Instead, we all sat in silence. Before long a nurse informed them they had to go. I watched the elevator doors close, knowing It would be more than a week before I would see either one of them again.
Surprising enough, although sad, it was not this moment that was the worse. I took my seat back on the orange plastic waiting chairs. Soon enough they called me back to a preparatory room. I was instructed to strip down and wash myself with some adult-sized baby wipes. Not my finest moment. As I finished and dressed myself in the fashionable hospital gown, I knew surgery would be quick in coming. I picked up my phone and snapped a selfie of the charming author so dapperly attired. I sent it to the love of my life. Just then a thought crossed my mind. “Could this be the last message I ever sent her?” As I placed the phone in the bag with the rest of my belongings, I felt a pang of loneliness that was stronger than any I can remember. I knew when I woke up after surgery, that is if I woke up, there would be nobody there. I knew I would not see the faces of those I loved for many days. It was as if I had been transported to a different world without the chance to say goodbye. Soon, there would be humiliating moments such as two twenty-something young ladies shaving my body from head to toe. The whole story can be found in my book, The Beat Goes On. I will leave a link at the end of this post if you care to purchase that, or any of my other books.
Left once again in a world devoid of contact with anyone I loved, I was just left to wait for them to open my chest and slice and dice the organ that gives us life. Now without my phone which presumably would be taken to my recovery room for after the surgery. The loneliness returned with a vengeance. This remained up until the sedatives kicked in for the surgery. Even after being brought back to life after a brief flirtation with death (Again, complete story in the book) the feelings remained.
Although this memory was painful to relive, I had questions. Why was that one of the worst feelings of my life? Was I afraid of dying? Not at all, actually. Death is a lot harder for those left behind than for the one doing the dying. Leading up to the surgery, as I was in what they delicately referred to as “The holding pen”, I had been focusing on all that I had to be grateful for. I specifically recall thinking of all the silly faces my lady makes in the pictures she sends me. I was filled with appreciation for the amazing life I had lived up to that point. Death, although a possibility, was not a fear. What was it then?
The answer hit me! It was loss of connection. Could that be the case? I began to ponder some of my best moments in life. I recall the book signing I held at a local, now defunct, brewery. So many people attended and I was able to greet and speak with them. I had a large dose of connection. I thought of some of the best moments that I have had with my mother, my lovely lady and others in my life. The best moments were when I felt the greatest connection! Up until this very thought, I never realized how important connection is to me. With this knowledge, I can certainly set my life up to have a lot more feelings of joy and a lot less stress!
Here is the other cool thing that came out of this inner conversation I had with the soon-to-be best-selling author – I had gained a new lesson from reliving an old experience. Proof that we can learn so much by looking at our past with a fresh perspective. It is no secret that we learn more, a lot more, during challenging times that we do during times of celebration. It may be tempting to avoid reliving those times where we hurt the greatest, but then we will be leaving gold in that mine. My surgery was just shy of 2 years ago. I learned that lesson a little over 4 hours ago. How about you? Are there moments in your past you can go back and look at with a fresh perspective? Maybe there is more gold for you to dig out of that mine. How many mines do you have?
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 