Tag: Self-Help

WHY ARE THEY LIKE THAT? 🤨

Do you have people in your life that treat you harshly and you cannot figure out why? Let me give you two fine examples from my own life. At my day job, I do my best to bring joy and show appreciation to everyone. There is a couple I work with who seem bent on bringing drama into the work place. We looked at the best way to deal with these people last post. The funny thing is that initially, only the man worked there and we got along great. When he lady started there, everything changed. They make up lies about me to the boss. They even will spend extra energy to do things they feel make my job more difficult. This is not only sad and petty, but a complete waste of energy on their part. Not only do I not waste my time or energy on doing anything to make their workday miserable, I honestly never give them a thought. Unless, of course, it will help me come up with an example for a blog.

Another fun example is this blog. Recently, I shared it on a local social media site. I am in over 200 countries around the world, but it is always good to take care of your own neighborhood. Most of the responses were positive, but like in any crowd, there were a few detractors. It started with a gentleman who accused me on telling him what to think. Informing him that is not what this site is about, he told me that I was an online influencer making money off people for doing nothing. I informed him my site is completely free and is just for leaving the world a better place than I found it. He called me a liar.

What makes these people so cynical and miserable? I do not know their stories, but I am sure there is one. Somewhere they must have picked up on the idea that life is a negative experience. As to why that anger comes out directed at me? To me, that is not really a big deal. It serves two very important functions. First, it reminds me of the need to put positivity out into the world. Second, if they are focused on me, for that time they are not directing their misery at someone else. I am grateful for the example as to what it can be like if you do not keep a positive outlook as well. These folks, despite their best efforts, have given me no less than three things to be grateful for. When you do your best to be positive and bring light to the world, know there will be others who are offended by that. Perhaps they do not like seeing others happy when they are not. Maybe they are jealous that you have found the secret to an amazing life? Whatever the cause, do not take it personal. Send them some good vibes and move on. It is not worth your energy.

THE BEST WAY TO WIN THE WAR 🪖

This thought comes from the book, The Art of War. It is a great book not only for military conflict, but for life as well. This quote is a prime example. Many people wish to start wars with us. They could be an ex lover, a jealous coworker, or a boss that likes to put us down. Some of them just enjoy bringing chaos into our lives. Have you ever heard the saying ‘misery loves company’? It is true. There are folks whose only joy in life is to see people as miserable as they are. Baffles me as why this is better than working on their own life, but ours is not to wonder why.

Often, the only result these folks want is for us to engage them in this misery. Remember that you do not have to attend every argument you are invited to. What you should do instead is what Frank Sinatra reminded us to do in the quote above. Focus on our success. Nothing will drive a miserable person crazy than to see the person they are trying to bring down experiencing joy and success. Do not engage them. Do not fight them and you will win the war!

Next time someone does their best to start drama in your life, instead of engaging with them, focus on your own success. At the end of the day you will be further ahead while they will be in the same place disgusted they could not force you into joining them in their misery. That is a win for you.

WHAT DEFINES OUR CHARACTER 🤔

Many people shy away from the fires of life. That is to be understood. Nobody really enjoys discomfort. What you must consider is what discomfort and challenges do in our life. They provide us opportunities that comfort and ease simply cannot. You grow exponentially more during difficult times than you do when life is easy. You also display to others your true character.

Everyone can be patient, helpful and happy when the sun is shinning and all of the bills are paid. Can you still have that kindness and compassion when life is not going so well? Can you still treat others as you would want them to treat you when life is beating you down? If you can, it speaks volumes about you and your character. This is something that you could never display unless you face challenges and adversity. Next time life seems to descend into chaos, ask yourself one very important question, “How am I going to walk through this fire?” If you are really brave, you can ask a follow up question, “What will that say about me?”

Be grateful for the challenges. They help us to grow and to demonstrate to the world the strength of our character. You can dislike the challenge and still be grateful for the opportunity.

THE SUN IS COMING! 🌞

Here is a quick reminder that whatever you are going through will pass. The night always gives way to the dawn

Some nights may seem like they last forever, but the sun always rises. Hang in there. You can outlast the night!

QUIT THE RACE 🏁

Did you ever wonder why they call it a rat race? Who really wants to be a rat? I certainly don’t. Today, whatever day you are reading this, take some time out of the race. Focus on winning what is really important. That would be your health, your family and your friends. Take some time for self-care and you will win the race.

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS 🎞

Who hasn’t had the occasional stray thought? If we are to believe what science tells us, that would be nobody. It is said that we have roughly 60,000 thoughts a day and that roughly 80% of them are negative. Both of those numbers really depend on the person. I know several people who manage to maintain a positive disposition in the face of the most challenging odds. I also know people who somehow manage to keep the number of thoughts they have well below the 60,000 mark. Some I wonder if they ever get to the double digits. Most of us fall into the numbers that science puts out.

It may be next to impossible to fight off the arrival of negative thoughts. Doing so can often make them push harder to arrive. What are we to do? Adjust how we view negative thoughts. We can ask ourselves what these thoughts may be trying to teach us. We can ask ourselves why we are reacting so negatively to them. There are a million lessons we can learn from our negative thoughts. It can also be helpful to turn it into a game of sorts. Noticing and adjusting to negative thoughts can be a challenge, but it does not have to be a negative one. Start timing how long it takes you to overcome a negative thought. Start keeping track of the time between negative thoughts and see if you can’t go just a little bit longer next time. When you do, celebrate!

Negative thoughts are a part of life and they can serve a good purpose. Let us put them to use for us. Have fun with the journey. Be calm in the knowledge that your life is improving with each positive thought you have. Let us know any tools and strategies you have for dealing with negative thoughts.

A VULGAR MISTAKE 🙅‍♀️

Mr. Emerson uses a great term, in my opinion. It is a ‘vulgar mistake’ when we confuse being contradicted with being persecuted. There are far too many people who perceive any difference of opinion as a personal attack on them. This is simply not so. We can differ, and others can differ with us, without it being an attack. This can be hard to keep straight emotionally when we are in the heat of the situation. It may be good to practice asking the question, “Is this person just expressing a difference of opinion, or are they personally attacking me?” If I were to guess, 90% of the time the answer would be the former.

How about in your life? Do you have people who every time you disagree with them they perceive it as a personal attack? You might work on a gentle way to remind them that you are not attacking them, you are just disagreeing with them. How about yourself? Have you been guilty of this in the past? Start asking yourself the question now.

A GOOD WEDNESDAY 👍

Today, instead of focusing on doing a lot,  let us focus on doing a few things well. Putting attention into detail instead of putting a million things on our to do list. It will increase our satisfaction and decrease our stress.

DROP IT! 🫳

It is Tuesday! Instead of adding on to what we have to do or worrying about what we didn’t do on Monday, let’s shed a few things. Let us look for things that are negative in our life and work to limit or eliminate them all together! It could be little annoying things, people or places. If we can’t find a way to change them, can we find a way to change how we view them?

These are good things to consider the second day of the week. Let us find things we can shed from our life to make us lighter and happier. Most important, let us have fun doing it!

YOU CAN MAKE IT SO! 🤔

This is another one of those big secrets to an amazing life. Old Willy Shakespeare hit this one on the head. The happiest people in life, and often the most productive, have a great way of looking at their world. They see the opportunity in every challenge. The realists of the world will be quick to point out that this will not change the situation. I beg to differ. It may not change the past, and the circumstances leading up to the current situation. It will, however, change the present and the future. How you view circumstances will dictate the actions you take in the face of any situation. If you leave this up to chance, you are doing the same with your life.

It is all too easy to view certain events as good and view others as bad. That would mean sometimes you feel good, sometimes you feel bad. What happens when you can view everything through the lens of gratitude and hope? Your life becomes more enjoyable. You lose less time to melancholy. You are more likely to take advantage of the opportunities hidden in challenges.

One of the greatest examples I have heard of in recent times is Inky Johnson. He was an athlete ready to turn professional and bring his family out of generations of poverty. Right before this was going to happen, he suffered a career-ending injury. This is bad right? When asked if he could go back in time and undo that tackle that ended his hopes, he is quick to say he would not. Why would someone not want to undo an injury that not only cost him and his family millions of dollars, but altered his life completely? Simple, through that his father was able to come to spiritual enlightenment. He was able to serve as an example to members of his faith and inspire countless others. None of this would have happened if he had become a professional athlete. While the injury was certainly a very trying turn of events in his life, he views it as a blessing.

How about you? Are there situations in your life that you view as terrible? I am sure there are in all of our lives. The challenge is to find the good in those. This is not denying the challenge, but choosing to see the opportunity in it. It will not change the past or what occurred, but will change the feeling in the present and the trajectory of the future. How you think of and view the world makes all of the difference.