The weekend is here! We have earned it. Just a word of caution, do not let the two days after Friday ruin all your effort from the five days before Friday. We might be able to relax a little more on the weekend, and we should, but stay committed to your goals!
What do you do to stay motivated and disciplined on the weekends? Please share in the comments below. I think we could all use a little extra help with motivation and dedication on the weekend!
Today, many of us are looking for the one trick, or hack, that will allow us to turn our life around. Here is the good and bad news. There is a hack that will allow you to accomplish all of your goals, in all the areas of your life. Here is the bad news for many of you. That hack is self-discipline. Consistent focused action is what will allow you to reach, and in many cases surpass, the goals you are now chasing.
This should make you breathe a sigh of relief. There is no wondering “Is this going to work?”. There will be ups and downs, but every day you will be getting closer to your goal. It may seem like you take three steps back for every step forward, but even then there are lessons to be learned. In this way, you are still moving closer to your goal, even if it does not feel like it.
If you want to succeed in life, if you want to accomplish any goal or achieve that dream, know that it is self-discipline that is the key to getting there. If you are looking for a bridge from where you are to where you want to be, it is the discipline of consistent action. Start that journey today.
Here is a concept that many of us seem unable to grasp. In fact, the number of people fleeing from this great opportunity. The opportunity I am speaking of, is to claim responsibility for every situation in your life. Many people think the opportunity is to find someone else to blame. This may seem like the easy way out, but the opposite is actually true. If it is “someone else’s fault” then it is easy to shrug our shoulders and believe there is nothing we can do about it. Do you know what happens to improve our life when we believe there is nothing we can do about what is challenging us? Do you know what changes when we constantly believe that we are the victim? Not. A. Damn. Thing.
This point was driven home by reading the great book above. Extreme Ownership is a book that will allow you to better understand the power that comes with taking responsibility for every situation in your life. Circumstances may be beyond your control, but how you deal with them is not. When we are constantly blaming others and pointing our fingers, we are putting the keys to our life in their pocket. If we find ourselves saying things such as, “They made me mad.” We are admitting ‘They’ have control over our emotional well-being. If we say, “I chose to get upset over their actions.” That puts the onus right where it belongs, on our own doorstep figuratively speaking.
This is also where it will do the most good. When we take responsibility for something, then we have the power to change it. The more we take ownership for in our life, the more we can control. When we transfer the responsibility to others, we are left feeling helpless in our own lives. An interesting thing happens when we begin taking responsibility, we gain respect from others. Consider you are having a disagreement with another party. This could be a friend, a coworker or even your spouse. If they say (because we know you are more enlightened now) “It is your fault!” or point out everything you did wrong, how will that make you feel? Will you hold them in high esteem for bringing your faults to your attention? I am guessing the answer will be a hard ‘no’. Now, what if that same person said, “This is my fault. I could have handled this better.” Maybe they even go further to list what they did to contribute to the problem and promise to work on those things for next time? What would your opinion be of them now? What if you knew you did at least a little something that may have contributed to the problem yourself? I am guessing that despite feeling a great deal of angst for them in the moment, you could not help but respect their ownership of the problem.
One of my favorite ways this comes in handy is when we make mistakes. This also happens to be one of the most difficult times to use this. When we make a mistake, we already feel bad. It can be very tempting to look for circumstances beyond our control to blame it on. What does this do to other’s opinions of us? Does it increase their trust in us? Probably not. What about someone who stands up and admits their mistakes? Who displays ownership for them? This is someone you are likely to trust more. You know they will own, and learn from, the things they do wrong.
In your own life I recommend taking ownership over as much as you can. This may be a difficult for many of us, but it will lead to massive growth and a better life in the long run. To get a jump start on this, pick up your own copy of Extreme Ownership.
Today is Monday. It is a day of dread for many. Back to work after 2 days worth of freedom. The beginning of the workweek. Which, for many of us, includes spending a large amount of time at a place we don’t really enjoy, with people we also do not enjoy. Considering all of this, it is no wonder we start to get that feeling in the pit of our stomach on Sunday night, knowing what will happen once the sun rises. (or in my case, before the sun rises)
Here is the thing – Monday is no different than many other days. While it is true that it is the beginning of the workweek and having to wake up to an alarm, it is also the beginning of the opportunity to start earning money to put towards that vacation. It is also a chance for us to demonstrate our character and work ethic. When I say this, I am not talking about showing off, or sucking up to a boss or coworkers. No, I am talking about demonstrating our character to both ourselves and those whose opinions we value.
Every morning we overcome the temptation to throw the alarm clock across the room and bury ourselves further in the covers, we are demonstrating a certain amount of character and self-discipline. When we push ourselves to not only show up at work, but do a job that we are proud of, that gives us a self of pride. What does that pride do for us? It gives us a sense of self-confidence, which in turn will make the self-discipline easier in the future.
We would not be able to build our character, build our self-discipline and our sense of inner-pride without the challenge of Monday. It boils down to a change in perception. If we lived a life of sloth and convenience, which does sound tempting on occasion, we would be weak individuals unable to withstand the storms of life. Much like going to the gym to strengthen our bodies, waking up to Monday helps us to strengthen our mental and morale fiber.
Do not fear or dread Monday. Understand it is a chance to get better, to get stronger and to create the best version of you. It takes resistance to grow strength. That is as true when it comes to your character and self-discipline as it is for your body. Monday is not the scary villain, it is our personal trainer for our self-discipline and inner-strength. The payoff is not muscles, it is something more powerful. By using Monday, instead of letting it use us, we develop pride, self-confidence and the ability to rise above who we currently are.
This is not my review of the Michael J Fox movie that I enjoy. No, it is the actual secret that I use to succeed. Above is a not so flattering picture of yours truly. You may be wondering the reason I am sharing that. It shows me leaving the gym this past Saturday at about 7:15am after a one and a half hour workout. That’s right, I woke up at 5am on my off day to go to the gym. This begs another question to many. Why on earth would I do that? This is where the secret to success I use comes up.
I do not fancy myself the smartest, most energetic or have the most free time of anyone I know. Therefore, I have to make up for that in other ways. One of the main ways in which someone can make up for not being the top in these other categories is the self-discipline of hard work. I made a commitment to going to the gym three days a week. Those three are Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I could go, and often do, other days as well, but those three are a requirement. Do you know what would happen if I did not go? Do you know who would hold me accountable? Nobody. In fact, if I didn’t go to the gym one day and just decided to relax, a lot of people would not blame me. I work roughly 45 – 50 hours a week at the post office. I DJ Sunday nights and write these blogs daily. Add to that, working on my fourth book and things can get very busy. A day off would be totally understandable.
Back to the question of why I chose to do it before the sun even got up. Yes, it was still dark out when I got to the gym. Yes, it was cold. Yes, it was raining. Here is the thing. Margie and I were doing a craft fair and had to be there to set up at 8:30am. The fair itself went until 3pm. I knew after that I would really not feel like going to the gym. Still, I had my commitment. The only option was to get up early and go.
I mentioned that nobody would hold me accountable, or give me a hard time if I did not go. That is not entirely true. That little voice in the back of my head would have let me know that I did not keep my commitment to myself. We discussed the issues with this in the post Who is your master, last week. If you haven’t read that one, it might be a good time to do so. I knew that if I did not keep my word to myself that it would begin to erode my opinion of the person I see in the mirror. Was it fun getting up at 5am and going outside in the dark, cold and rain? Hell no. Do you know what was fun? Knowing for the rest of the day that I kept my commitment to myself and to my health. That self-discipline, holding yourself accountable, is what allows me to succeed. It will do the same for you.
I think discipline, especially self-discipline, is one of the most attractive qualities. Being able to do what you said you would do, long after the urge to do it has passed, is very admirable. It is not only keeping your word to those you told, but, and perhaps more importantly, it is keeping your word to yourself. How do you think people feel about you when you break your word to them? Not so good would be my guess. They start to trust you less and view you as less reliable. When you do not maintain your self-discipline, that is how you start viewing yourself. It begins to tear down your self-image. This, in turn, affects your self-confidence. Having a poor self-confidence and self-image can lead to a whole host of problems. The inability to put yourself out there. The reluctance to try new things. Missed opportunities.
If we stop to think about it, self-discipline is really self-love. When we keep our world to others and to ourselves, we can hold our heads up high. We have a sense of pride. Not to mention, we do not have the stress that comes with not getting the things we planned on getting done just because we didn’t feel like it. If we only work when we feel like it, we will only go so far. I heard a saying that went something like this, “Motivation gets you started, discipline allows you to finish.”
Next time you feel like ‘giving yourself a break’ and not finishing what you said you would do, realize you are doing yourself a great disservice. You will diminish your standing in both the eyes of others and in the eyes staring back at you in the mirror. Keep your word to yourself. Here is what I have found, the more you act with self-discipline, the easier it becomes. If you take control of your mind, instead of it controlling you, the muscle of self-discipline will only grow stronger.
Many of us concern ourselves with being powerful. We try to control situations as much as we are able. Some of us even try to control others. Those are fools endeavors. You will never be able to fully control any situation. There are just too many variables and doing so will only add stress to it. Controlling others is not only morally incorrect, but it leads to resentment and loss of respect. If we wish to be truly powerful, we should focus solely on controlling ourselves.
When we allow someone to affect our emotional state, they in turn become our master. If we put the key to our happiness in someone else’s pocket, true happiness will be a door that forever remains locked. Our emotions are powerful. Our mind is beyond powerful. It is up to us to control and direct that power to a worthwhile end. If we do not, it will be at the whim of outside circumstances. Our live will feel out of control, and worse than that, it actually will be.
This is not a state secret. The mind is a very powerful force. The constant conversation existing there can either be encouraging, or limiting. We can be filled with confidence, or with doubt. The difference is having control of our mind. How do we get control of our mind? There are many ways. Meditation is one. Learning to harness all of our runaway thoughts. To strengthen the mind/body connection so that we may use it for healing instead of sickness. Another way to control our minds is developing discipline. Many people think this is just for overachievers. Not so. Your mind will forever convince you that you have earned that binge watching session on the couch. Maybe you have. Delaying immediate gratification for accomplishment of long-term goals means you will not be a slave to your desires.
You may be asking yourself what the big deal is in all of this. Who cares if I take an extra break? Would not life be more enjoyable spending extra time in pleasure activities? It would be…if we earn them. To know that our paper isn’t written, or our housework is not done will be a constant source of stress no matter how hard we work to ignore it. Think you are pulling one over on the boss by taking an extra break? For several reasons this is not so. The obvious one is that you will be one of the first employees to go when the company hits hard times. Even worse is the knowledge that you are getting paid for more than you are doing. Your coworkers could see it. Your boss certainly might notice. Even if you manage to fool all of them, the loss of pride and self-realization that you are not being the best version of yourself at whatever endeavor you are engaged in, will haunt you when you are alone.
Today, do not give in to the voices in your head. Become the master and not the mastered. You deserve to bring the best of you, not only to the world, but to whatever you are doing. Put off immediate gratification. Remember the long term goal. It may not seem as ‘fun’ but it will leave you with a sense of pride in yourself that will feel better than any binge watching session or high-calorie indulgence you may be considering. You can do this. You got this!
There are many times when I hear such things as “Monday is hard.” Yes, it sure is. Having to leave one’s family and go to work can be a difficult decision. It can be a struggle. Especially if the weather is poor and we have not had enough sleep. How can we stay dedicated to our goals when it would be a lot easier to call in to work and stay in bed? How can we stay committed to our fitness goals when it is so easier to just eat that delicious pizza or tacos? We could do both, and anything else we are trying to accomplish by understanding one principle.
Not to ruin it for you, but the answer is in the quote from Jim Rohn up above. Hard work is well, by definition, hard. Saying no to staying in bed and sleeping is hard. Do you know what else is hard? Being fired for not working hard or not showing up. That is hard. Not having enough money to pay our bills is hard. Being embarrassed to seek help from family and friends just to get by. That’s hard. Having people think we are a loser because we can’t get out of bed. Thinking the same thing about ourselves. Those are hard.
Same holds true in our diet and fitness realm. Saying no to the free doughnuts in the breakroom, that is hard. Going to the gym in freezing weather when we could be tucked under the blanket? Quite hard. Doing it when you have a beautiful blonde to snuggle up to? Very hard. Trust me on that one. Do you know what else is hard? Having elevated blood sugar and cholesterol. Being at greater risk for heart attack and death. That is hard. Having more aches and pains and running out of breath. Hard. Possibly leaving your loved ones behind at an early age? That is not only hard for you, but for them as well.
We may think staying in bed or eating that doughnut is the ‘easy’ or ‘painless’ solution. It might be at the time. What we must realize is that everything has a cost. What may seem difficult in the moment, the pain of discipline, will make our life easier in the long run. What seems like ‘giving in’ or the easy solution, will cost us much more in the end. That is the pain of regret. As Mr. Rohn pointed out, discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons. Think of what pain you are suffering.
Here is an example why choosing the right partner in life is so important. Recently, Margie and I had a text exchange the revealed an interesting truth that many of us might be struggling with. Margie has been doing an amazing job of living a healthier lifestyle. I am beyond proud of the amazing job she is doing. In doing so, she discovered one of the greatest obstacles to her success. The irony of this obstacle is it was the very thing that enabled her to persevere in many other areas of life. It was, indeed, a double-edged sword.
What was this double-edged sword that my lady both fought with and could also slay any chance she had at being successful with adopting a lifestyle that would allow her to reduce her stress, live longer with her children and grandchildren and have more energy? Her independent mindset. As she so eloquently stated, she never had anyone in her life telling her, “No you should not do that.” This served her in many ways. It helped her to develop the belief in herself she needed to start her own DJ and cake business. When people told her that she might not be able to learn the skills necessary her inner response (and often outer response because that is how my lady works) was, “Nobody can tell me what to do.” This works great for many situations, such as starting your own business. Without it, she might have fell victim to other people’s doubts, limitations and superstitions. It also helped her develop a belief in herself and a sense of independence.
Like many things in life, this independent spirit can be a double-edged sword. If used improperly, it can close our minds to considering and learning anything outside of what we believe to be true. I will also prevent us from changing behaviors that we know deep down are not serving us for fear we will look wrong. Not only to others, but more importantly, to ourselves. Telling ourselves and others, “Nobody is going to tell me what to eat.” or “Nobody is going to make me exercise!” may make us feel powerful. We may even resist doing something we know would be healthier. Why on earth would we do that? If you are using the independent spirit improperly you may worry about doing something they told you to. You may also fear something bigger. The fact that the way you chose to live your life was not the best way. This can be hard for any of us.
To admit our personal identity is flawed, may seem like a failure. I disagree. In my humble opinion, I view as “I am awesome and I just found a way to level up!” As great as any of us are, we cannot know everything about everything. Being stubborn and inflexible may seem powerful, like a mountain. What can wear away a mountain? The most flexible material on earth – water. We must grow and develop. Many times that means accepting the fact that we did not make the best choices in the past. Does that mean you are a failure? No. It means you are getting better.
In many cases of self-improvement, our own worst enemy can be between our own two ears. It can be difficult to overcome a certain mindset. Especially if that same mindset has allowed us to achieve many of our accomplishments. It is a struggle, as my lady will attest to. It involves developing a great deal of self-discipline. This is true freedom. Not letting others master us may seem like the ultimate power. Mastering ourselves, growing and evolving, that is the ultimate power. My lady is doing it. You can too!
Our mind has such great power! The trick is that power can either work for us or against us. Either way it is very strong. If you had a strong friend that followed you everywhere, wouldn’t you want to make sure they were working for you? How about your mind?
If we fill our mind with fear, worry and anxiety, it will paralyze us into a life of inactivity and darkness. If, however, we learn to put our mind to work for us, we can have everything we dreamed of.
Invest today in discovering different ways of making your mind work for You. Whether that is meditation 🧘♂️, self-discipline or any other aspect. The time and money you put in will give returns many times above.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 