If we want a truly successful life we must focus on one thing. That is mastering ourselves. If we can manage to control our own emotions, actions and thoughts, there is nothing we cannot do. Can you imagine being able to control our own inner conversation to one of an encouraging and empowering one? Can you imagine taking control of your thoughts and being able to focus on opportunities instead of obstacles? How about controlling your actions and only taking those that live up to your standard and align with your goals? How would just these three things change your life?
So many of us look to control the outside circumstances in our life. We try desperately to control many things that are beyond our control. Instead of focusing on controlling circumstances in our life, how much better off would we be focusing our efforts on controlling our resilience to them? That we have complete control over. It will take effort and consistency, but we do have control over our reactions whether we wish to admit that or not,
This week focus on improving yourself. How can you take better control over you thoughts, emotions and actions? How will doing this improve your life? By focusing on these two questions we will get further than worrying about outside circumstances over which we have very little control.
These are 3 items that will change your life. Putting them to use in any area that you are working to improve will help immensely. We will break them down one by one and take a look at why it is important to learn and use each one in life. The picture alludes to a physical benefit, but it holds true in any area of your life. Let us take a look at some personal examples and how we can put it to work for us.
Discipline. This is one of the most powerful skills you can develop. Mike Tyson once famously said, “Discipline is doing what you hate to do, but doing it like you love it.” Perhaps ‘hate’ is a strong word, but working out after a long day or when you are still sore from your last workout can come close to something you hate to do. If we reserved action for when we felt like it or when we felt motivated to do so, how often would we act? Not nearly enough to make any useful progress towards our goal. When you learn to be disciplined, you are on your way to being able to accomplish any goal.
Routine. When you can develop a routine of action, it can make it easier to stick with your discipline. Personally, I go to the gym every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. My family knows this. My lady knows this. It keeps me from having to think too much. When we get stuck in our head with planning and other aspects of success, it can prevent us from taking action. Setting up a routine allows you to schedule success. This makes the likelihood of success that much greater. This is the same with meal prepping. Having a routine of scheduling healthy meals ahead of time takes a lot of the guess work out of progress.
Consistency. This last one can be the most difficult for many of us. Sticking with something and trusting the process even when you don’t see quick results. We expect years of unhealthy behavior to be erased in a month of diet and exercise. No, lifestyle change is what we need. Sticking with a behavior and celebrating small wins is the key to success. Going hard for a short period of time is not as good as steady consistent effort. Running 20 miles one day will not help our health as much as running one mile for 20 days straight. The same holds true for diet, self-care and anything else you are doing to improve your life. Be consistent and trust the process. Even when the results are not coming as fast as you would like. If you quit, you will never win. Do not give up!
Why is it so important to develop these three skills? In doing so, as the picture above states, we will become the asset! All of our material possessions, and positions of power, can be taken from us in the blink of an eye. The skills we develop in our mind, heart and spirit stick with us forever. If you develop these three skills and everything is taken from you, even unfairly, you have the foundation to build it back again. What is more important to focus on, things that can be taken from us, or skills we will keep forever? I think we all know the answer to that question.
Last post we discussed how self-discipline can help us start our day with a winning attitude. Many people struggle with self-discipline. In a world where almost everything can be a push of a button away, it can be hard to understand the importance of delayed gratification. What is even more difficult for many to understand is why we must do something that we deem uncomfortable or undesirable even if it leads to success later on. A friend of mine once told me, “Why would I want to work out? It makes me sore and I feel fine sitting on the couch watching movies.” That may be true in the moment, but which behavior will we wish we would have acted on ten years down the line?
The answer to that question should be fairly obvious. We would be a lot better off taking care of our health, even if it means a little discomfort in the present. A less-than-enlightened coworker of mine was remarked, “Why should I care about improving my life? We are all going to die. Just like lemmings jumping off a cliff.” Not only is that statement a very depressing outlook on life, it overlooks one important point. We are all lemmings jumping off that cliff. This is metaphorical. I do not believe any lemmings read the post. If we are all going to die what is the point of living? How about to have the most fun we can on the way down that cliff? We should work to squeeze as much out of our life as we can.
Reminding ourself the importance of why we must work to become the best version of ourselves is key to self-discipline. When I think about not wanting to work out after a long day at work or not wanting to write, I think about my beautiful lady and how she deserves to have the best version of me. I think about all of you who read these blogs. There have been several people who have told me how much they impact their day and their life. Would I rather sit in the park and watch the birds on a lovely day? Absolutely. Could I do that after writing for an hour? Yes indeed. When I look back on my life I want to be proud of the life I lived. I can only do that if I exercise my discipline.
This seems like a pretty obvious thing to do. Who would not want to start their day with some positive thoughts? We can all agree that thinking of healing, big dreams, thinking of things that make us happy and picturing our own success would start our day in a good fashion. How come more of us do not do that? Did you do it this morning? I woke up at 4am for work and I can tell you that I made coffee, brushed my teeth, got dressed and got out the door with just enough time to make it to work on time. Why did I not spend at least a few minutes thinking these thoughts?
The reason more of us do not begin our days in a deliberate way is twofold. First, in today’s world most people tend to be reactionary. We wake up and look at our phones. We wake up and listen to the news. We let outside circumstances determine the trajectory of our day. Many of us do not realize there is any other way to live. This is how our parents lived and more than likely their parents too. Is there anything stopping from taking time to decide how to live our life? The answer to that question brings us to the second reason that most of us do not begin our lives in the way the photo above would advocate.
The second reason is the same reason that I did not begin my day with thoughts that would set me up for a happier and more successful day. Looking at the fact that I get up at 4am, have a 35 minute commute and have to be at work at 5am, you may think the reason is time. No, that is the excuse. Yes, I do have to hurry to make sure I get everything done and out the door in time. What is preventing me from spending 5 minutes thinking some positive and productive thoughts? A lack of self-discipline. Could I wake up at 3:55 instead of 4? Sure. Would 5 minutes less of sleep make that great of a difference? Could I have some mantras written out so I could read them to get my mind right? How about a vision board with pictures of my goals or things that I am grateful for? Could I put all of these things in a little binder and have it sitting by the coffee maker to grab and spend a few minutes looking at?
The answer to all of these questions would be ‘yes’. It would not take much to make such a binder. Even to put a few inspiring affirmations on some sticky notes on the bathroom mirror. All it takes is a little self-discipline. Once these items are done, having a morning that begins with empowering thoughts is almost on autopilot. The notes, binder or whatever method you choose to use are right there for you to look at. It becomes part of your morning. Just like making a cup of coffee or brushing your teeth.
It is time for us to stop waking up in neutral and letting the world determine what kind of day we are going to have. It is time to take control of our own destiny and determine our own level of happiness. No phone, no news until we take time for ourselves and our emotional well-being. Are you with me?
Many of us have a negative association with the word ‘discipline’. It starts from childhood where we are disciplined for perceived bad behavior. This can be standing in the corner, a spanking or any other sort of punishment. In fact, it is here where we see discipline and punishment as the same. Then we move to school. Not much better here. We can be disciplined for acting up in class. Maybe even leading the class on an impromptu field trip while the teacher is out of the room. Say to the park…down the street. Who knew that was against the rules? Obviously not me in pre-school.
This is where another negative association to discipline begins. If our grades are not up to standards, we are told we have to be disciplined in our studies. This can result in long hours of pouring over the books and missing much of the fun our friends are enjoying. As an adult, things to not get much better. We have to be disciplined in our eating if we want to be healthy. This can mean missing out on many of our favorite foods. It can be forcing ourselves to eat many things we do not enjoy. We have to be disciplined about going to work. That sure is fun isn’t it? Roughly 87% of us do not like our current occupation. So that discipline is not enjoyable for most of us.Even as we leave work we have to remain disciplined in doctor visits and taking medication. Not much fun there.
Here is what nobody tells us. Discipline is the key to freedom. In each of the examples above, with maybe the exception of my pre-school adventures, the discipline was helping us gain some freedom. Learning how to properly behave in society allows us to have the freedom to get along once we are out on our own. Being disciplined in our studies not only helps us learn skills we will need in the real world, but shows us the value of committing focused time and effort to developing a skill. As far as being disciplined with our health, that gives us the freedom to enjoy a life with less sickness and injury. Life is no fun when you are constantly at home with the latest illness going around. Being disciplined with coming into work will keep us employed and earning a paycheck. As far as remembering to go to the doctor and take our meds, well that keeps us…alive! Freedom there!
We are taught to view discipline as what we have to go through, or even as a punishment. What many of us are not made aware of is what that discipline will result in. This change in mindset can transform our lives. Not only will it assist us in sticking to our discipline, it will make it more enjoyable. All of that will lead to a more successful life. If you will like to learn more about the power of this mindset change, join us tomorrow when we dive deeper into it.
In our journey to become the best version of ourselves we encounter what we consider a lot of competition. Today’s post comes with a little mix of good and bad news. First the bad, because we love to finish on a positive note. None of what we perceive as our competition matters as much as we believe it does. Most people are too involved in their own lives to worry much about ours. Those who are not are really not competition. Anyone who is more concerned about what is going on with the lives of others rather than their own is not going very far in life. As the picture above reminds us, what stands in our way is often what lays inside of us. If you want to become an improved version of yourself as rapidly as possible, work on what is inside you. The secret to an amazing life is that it starts with becoming an amazing version of yourself.
That is the ‘bad’ news. In reality, it is also the good news too. If our greatest challenges to becoming the best we can be are the characteristics that lay inside us, than they are completely under our control to change. We can improve our bad habits, we can eliminate our distractions. When we hear people say things like “I would get more done but I always end up binge watching Netflix.” Ask ourselves, is the problem Netflix, or the individuals inability to stay focused and limit their television time?
Sticking with this example, people would spend more time trying to change Netflix instead addressing their own inability to save television viewing until they have completed the tasks they need to. It is not Netflix fault you sit down and watch 3 hours of programing in a row. Oh, they do things that make that very easy. That is definitely true. We still have the power to discipline ourselves not to pick up the remote until our days work is done. If we work really hard, we can develop the strength to pick it up and push ‘off’ after one episode.
If you want to beat your most intense competition, do not look in the cubicle or house next to you. Your greatest competition looks back at you in the mirror every day!
It is Friday and the last thing most of us want to hear about is any type of work to be done. That is understandable. In this quote, however, lies the key to any kind of progress we wish to make. Many of us seek the mystical path. We are looking for the latest life hacks. We read all of the metaphysical books and do all of the meditations. There is nothing wrong with any of that. I do many of those things myself.
Here is the truth about how to make progress in any endeavor. I warn you, it is not sexy or exciting. There are no complicated formulas to master or spells to cast. You do not have to wonder in the woods naked during a full moon. Consequently, you will not have to apply anti-itch medicine to your body the day after the full moon, but I digress. The secret is that progress comes from daily, consistent action. Common sense huh? It may be, yet how many of us search for a fad diet instead of eating healthy daily or taking daily physical exercise?
Before I lose you all together with the diet and exercise thing, let me assure you that it is ok to look for shortcuts or life hacks. Here is the caveat to that. Look for those shortcuts while you are putting in the daily effort. You may be shocked to find the level of improvement that can be mastered by daily action. Most people underestimate the change they can achieve by doing this. We are not talking about spending the entire day in the gym every day. We are not talking about living on brown rice and chicken breast. What we are saying is that you put in some effort, daily, towards your goal. Take this blog for example. Some days I write several posts. Like I am doing today. Some days I just share ones that I have written the day before. Some are devoted to marketing this site to new people and markets. There is daily effort towards putting out the best product. What goals are you working on that could be moved along with daily effort? Are you putting it in?
It seems like only yesterday that I was posting about my goal of 1000 days in a row of content. My beautiful lady even threw me a surprise party for the event. It was attended by dear friends and had me feeling so sky high. Can you believe that was 100 days ago? Just like that, we are at 1100 days in a row of content. In some ways this has become easier. Posting insightful content has went from becoming something I do into more of something I am.
Like many things in life, this change has unlocked a secret to an amazing life. That is when your actions become your identity, life becomes less stressful. We can apply this to any area of life. Trying to get in the habit of going to the gym? Start referring to yourself as ‘a gym person’. This works by activating both inner and outer reinforcements. On the outer side of things, the people you inform, “I have decided to become a gym person.” or however you wish to word it, will be more than happy to remind you that gym people go to the gym. On the inner side of things, it starts to work on your subconscious mind. That is what drives 95% of our behavior. Repetition of a statement, as well as attaching it to our identity, will make doing the actions that much easier.
Think of how this works. If you start taking the actions and thinking the thoughts of the person you wish to be, before long, you will be that person. Take our fitness example. If you start declaring you are a fitness person, even if currently that means ‘fitting this doughnut in my mouth’, you will start thinking and talking like a fitness person. When your subconscious hears you say “I have decided to become a fit person.” Then you find yourself making the most of an all-you-can-eat taco bar, it feels wrong. Your mind begins to tell you “This does not align with our identity.” Soon you will find yourself adjusting your actions to fit your new identity.
It has worked for me and my writing. It will work for you and whatever goal you are aspiring to. Decide who you wish to become and then become that person. Declare it and your mind and body will follow.
In a world filled with distractions, it can seem almost impossible to stay disciplined and motivated. What is the secret of those who can? There are books, seminars and endless conversations dedicated to this question. The quote above is the simple answer. It is your why. Does going to work seem like an impossible challenge? Try looking at a picture of your spouse or children whom you are earning money for. Think of how they would be impacted if you lost your job, or just stop showing up for work. That should put a little spring in your step.
The amazing thing about a why is that it can be positive or negative. Take getting in shape for example. On the positive side of things, you can imagine fitting into your favorite clothes and looking amazing as you walk into a party. That could motivate you so far. Negative motivation can be equally, and in some cases, even more powerful. Did you have to pass on a fun trip with your friends because you were too embarrassed to show up in a bathing suit to go swimming? Perhaps you did show up and felt mortified when people saw you? Feeling that sting of self-consciousness can help you do that extra rep that is needed. It is not about all about appearance. Everyone is beautiful in their own skin. What can be more powerful is feeling happy with yourself.
Speaking of feelings, how you impact others can be a strong why. Can you recall when you said something hurtful that broke someone’s heart? Remember how that felt? It can keep you from saying the first thing that comes to mind in a heated situation. How about the time you paid someone a genuine compliment and watch them light up? Isn’t that a great feeling? That feeling, and hit of feel good chemicals it triggers, can be a powerful why when it comes to being a good human to others.
The point of this post is to say that if you are having a hard time staying consistent with your self-improvement journeys, maybe it is time to take a hard look at your why. For something to be a priority in your life, there has to be a reason why it is. That reason must be stronger than distractions or temptations. If you are finding it difficult to stay on track, spend some moments focused on why it is important to you to take that action and stay disciplined. I would further suggest to get your thoughts down on paper. Use the carrot and the stick. Why is it important for you to take that action? What would be the result if you didn’t? Be honest with yourself. Seeing that in black and white could be the motivation you need to stay the course.
We are all worthy of a good life. Me, you, even the guy who cut you off in traffic. OK, we might not want to wish him a good life at the moment, but I’m sure he deserves one too.
When we convince ourselves that we are worthy of a good life we act differently. We set boundaries and practice self-care. We take better care of our health and focus on the long-term goal instead of the short-term pleasure. We are also far more likely to treat others with respect and compassion.
How do we convince ourselves we are worthy of a good life? We earn it. How do we earn it? By keeping our word to others, and even more importantly, keeping our word to ourselves. When we say what we are going to do and then follow that up by doing what we say, we earn well-deserved pride. Self-discipline is the greatest source of self-love.
Convince yourself that you are worthy of a good life today! Keep your word. Stay disciplined. Treat others with compassion and kindness. That good life will be yours in no time at all!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 