This may be an analogy that has been repeated all too often in self-improvement circles, but it has value in repeating. As you are given a safety talk in an airplane, they tell you to secure your oxygen mask before helping other around you. Why? You are really unable to help anyone if you are unable to breathe yourself. How many of us forget to apply this common sense knowledge to the rest of our life? It is easy to put our own mental, and often physical, health at risk for the benefits of others. Done long enough and we could have a breakdown, either a mental or physical.
Here is something else to consider. A slightly different lesson to be had in all of this. Do you know what happens when everyone puts their own masks on? You have a bunch of people breathing. That is always good. What happens if you have a plane full of people who are more concerned how Bob puts on his mask, or how Betty’s hair looks when she places the mask over her face? Suddenly, they find themselves struggling with their own breathing.
In a quick recap, here are the two lessons to be had in our airplane service talk. First lesson. If you do not take care of your own mental and physical health, you will be ill-equipped to assist anyone in theirs. Dare I say, the better your mental and physical health, the better you will be able to help others. This being said, an investment in yourself is also an investment in the well-being of those you care about. Second lesson. Focusing on others lives instead of your own, only causes pain and suffering for yourself in the long run. Make sure your life is in order before spending too much time worrying about what Bob or Betty are doing in their lives. Sense our life is one never ending journey to improve ourselves…you guessed it…don’t worry about what others are doing. Just focus on being the best version of yourself and you will have an amazing life.
As I write this, we are in the middle of a wicked snow storm. My lovely lady and I stopped at the store to grab a few things last night. It was packed. People were shopping like the world was ending. Another reason I would love to become a best-selling author and move to San Diego, but I digress.
A thought came to me as I watched people with their carts full of supplies. Why do we not prepare, at least with the same enthusiasm, for the storms of life? We act as if self-care, and the things that go with it, are for when we need them. In essence, we wait for the storm to arrive before we act.
Why not act like all of the crazy shoppers and prepare for the storms of life? Compose a list of songs that lift your spirits and save them in a Playlist. Have a list of movies that make you laugh. Have a collection of inspiring books.Whatever other items will help you make it through the storms of life.
Here is what I know for sure. The storms of life can come during any season and often with less warning than any extreme weather. We need to have preparations for our mind and spirit just as we have for any storm.
Have you ever had a day where you feel like this? Not quite like a murdering doll, but where if how you felt on the inside could be seen, you might resemble this lovely character? I know I have. With many responsibilities, even enjoyable ones, comes much stress. When I have to fit in the day job, the gym and writing in one day , that can be rather stressful. I barely have enough energy to show my lovely lady how important she is to me. That only adds further stress.
What do you do when you feel burned out? Another reason why working on self-improvement and self-care is so important to start, and start now. If you get to the point of feeling burned out, the last thing you are going to want to do is spend mental energy on how to rid yourself of those feelings. What I can suggest is to start a self-care book. This is an activity that will be featured in my upcoming fourth book. In your self-care book, you can list everything that brings you feelings of peace, health and happiness. In other words, everything that refreshes your spirit. This can be songs that inspire you. Movies that make you laugh or energize you. It can be places you like to go, whether that is a park, a coffee shop or some place to eat. This self-care book can be updated as you discover new items to add. For me, who struggles during the long cold winter, this can be a life-saver. Place this book somewhere it can easily be accessed.
When you are feeling burned out, sad, uninspired or any of the other unpleasant emotions, pull out your self-care book and engage in one, or several, of the activities. When you find something that really brings joy, or inner peace, to your heart, pull out the book and add it. Having this resource available takes the thinking out of helping yourself. Composing the book is actually a fun activity. You can even ask your friends, family and spouse for ideas. You can do it together as a couple or as a family.
Today begins the month of October. Many of us spend this month watching scary movies and putting up decorations of ghosts, goblins and such. We read scary stories and dress up for Halloween. Here is a scary thought that I would like to share with you today. The quote above says it all. Do not forget this month, while you are thinking about what type of candy would bring a smile to the faces of the children that come to your door, to think about what would bring a smile to your face as well
The truly scary part in life is that many of us do not make ourselves, and by default our happiness, a priority. We worry about what we must do at work to keep the boss happy. We worry about what we have to do at home to keep the spouse and/or the family happy. We worry about our friends, our relatives and those we care about. This is all good, but without keeping our own well-being in mind, it can lead to disaster. It can have us feeling like we have a drained battery. It can have us trying to fill someone’s cup from our empty pitcher. Whatever analogy works for you. The fact is that the better we take care of ourselves, the better we can take care of those around us.
This is so true. Even those who love us and really want the best for us, can often have a bad day. They can be preoccupied with their own life challenges. We must remember to spend some time each day dedicated to making sure our own happiness and inner peace are intact. Doing so will provide us the best opportunity to serve others and do so in a way that feels good, not draining. In fact, feeling drained or overwhelmed is often the way the body is signaling to us that we need to spend a little more time on self-care. That is not to say we should become self-absorbed, but that we should spend some of our life making ourselves a priority. This will not only allow us to serve others better, but increase the quality of our life as we do so.
Mark Twain was an unusual character. He did,however, have some good wisdom. In the quote above he touches on something very important. Most of the things we worry about never happen. This is actually very harmful.
Above you will see the physical effects of stress and worry on the body. As you can see, this affects more than just the butterflies in the stomach. Done for a prolonged period, it can cause problems with your heart,immune system, digestive tract, cause joint pain and even decrease your sexual performance!
Worry can spur us to take precautions that do help us. If you have a history of heart problems in your family, that worry may keep you following a healthy diet and exercise regimen. This is good. If you lay awake in bed every night fearing that you might fall over with a heart attack, this will not only keep you awake, but as we saw earlier, it may actually lead to a heart attack!
Indulging in worry is like drinking poison for your body. What is the cure? There is no “one size fits all” action to take. Generally, meditation 🧘♂️ and exercise are two things that can help everyone improve their anxiety level. Diet, who you surround yourself with as well as considering talking to atherapist can be helpful. If you find yourself full of worry, you may doing yourself more harm than you realize. Take some self-care to help reduce your worry and anxiety today. Your body and life will thank you.
Here is something very important I have learned by having followers in, and talking to, people in over 200 countries – we all have basically the same issues. Sure, there might be slight differences in the nuances, but the core issues tend to be the same. We are going to take a quick look at the six listed above and how they can dramatically improve our life. Who wants to make their life a lot less stressful while making it a lot more productive? I can safely assume we all have our hands up for that one if we are reading from a blog called Secret2anamazinglife.
We are going to go through these quickly for the sake of keeping this post short. You are welcome to research a little more on your own, or just incorporate them into your life and reap the benefits. Exercise is a word many people either fear or think they don’t have time for. Exercise does not have to mean hours in the gym several days a week. It can be a walk after dinner. It can be zumba class, a pick up basketball game or even water aerobics if your joints are sore. Whatever you enjoy and are likely to stick to. One thing I promise you will discover is not only the feel-good chemicals that are scientifically proven to be released in your body with physical exertion, but also a sense of pride in your accomplishment and the improvements in your body. Do whatever you enjoy.
Meditation. Another word that has far too much baggage attached to it. Meditation does not mean sitting in the lotus position (something my body is not capable of at the moment) on a beach, like the lady in the picture above. No, meditation can take so many forms. Essentially, meditation is being present. This may sound easy, and in essence it is. What is tricky is how many distractions we face in the world today. That is why I suggest a walk in nature leaving your phone in the car or at the very least, turning it off. Walking in nature has its own benefits, but being fully present is something that is missing in today’s world. Even taking a few moments, closing our eyes and paying attention to our breath for a few minutes can do wonders. Throw an inspiring word like ‘peace’ or ‘relax’ in the exhale is even better. Find whatever type of meditation works for you. Done a few days in a row and stress will begin to melt away.
Reading. This is something not a lot of us do in today’s world. Yet, there is more information, on more subjects, available today than every before! Want to become more attractive? There are things to read on that. Want to learn more about your job and increase your chances of a promotion? Yep, there are things to read on that subject. Do you want to increase the joy and reduce the stress in your life? You can read the book the wonderful lady is reading in the picture above. It can be a paperback, an ebook, articles online or any other source. Sitting down reading will allow us to learn a host of information we desire. It also helps us to slow down and be more present.
Reading is great for learning about others and the world around us, but what about learning about ourself? Why do we do the foolish things we do? Why do we always date the people who seem so wrong for us? How come we don’t take actions that will get us ahead? If you want to learn the answers to these questions, hire the greatest therapist of all time – a journal. You can learn so much about yourself just by writing down your thoughts. In addition, it clears space in your head when you are feeling overwhelmed. Often, just writing things down will allow you to gain some clarity and see patterns in your life you may have missed by attempting to keep everything in your head.
We have done entire posts about the importance of self-care. If you want to bring the best to others, you have to be the best version of yourself. The only way to accomplish this is to care for yourself and make sure you are 100%. The better shape you are in, the more you can help others. Self-care may seem selfish on the surface, but it is often the best thing that you can do to serve others. Which, is why we are here in the first place, to serve our fellow humans. (and animals.) Make sure you take the time to practice some self care. If doing so comes with any feelings of guilt, remember that the better you are, the better you can help others.
To accomplish any of these items quicker, and to make sure they stick as habits in your life, make sure you are having fun. That is the whole point in life. If you are not enjoying your life, you are wasting your life. You can have fun exercising, as we pointed out in that section. Find ways to look forward to meditation and journaling. Make self-care something to treat yourself with. Pick a good book, like Living the Dream, to look forward to reading a little bit of every day. The more enjoyable you make any of the items we have listed, the more likely they are to be effective. Coming up with ways to make them fun is enjoyable as well!
Put the six items in this blog into action and there is no way you will not be living a more amazing life. I would love to hear about actions you take in any or all of the categories! All of us are looking for new ideas to make our life more positive and rewarding. Sharing how you do, could give us that idea! In everything you do, remember to have fun!
When I saw this quote, I had to pause and give it some thought. In my second book, Living the Dream, I have an entire section on the 3 levels in which we live our lives and how they effect each other. Certainly a good read. When I wrote that, I was just beginning to learn about that aspect of life. Years later, as I write this post, I can see it in operation. That is why I would like to take a moment to talk about these STDs – spiritually transmitted diseases. They are even more harmful than we might think.
In today’s society, it seems there is very little mention or discussion of the spirit. This is a shame, because in my opinion, it is not only what makes us human, but is one third of who we are. When our spirit is sick, it affects every aspect of our lives. When we are feeling spiritually drained, our ability to concentrate and think clearly is all but nonexistent. When our heart is hurting our energy levels plummet, our immune system tanks and physically we are no good. In other words, when we have a STD, spiritually transmitted disease, it affects our physical and mental well-being too.
Last post we discussed the importance of self-care and what it can help you bring to others. If you missed that post, I encourage you to go back and give it a look. It is obvious that we really need to practice some spiritual self-care. We need to keep our spirit healthy and make sure we do not catch an STD. Try to eliminate or limit your exposure to those things that contaminate your spirit. Make sure to take time to do those things that strengthen your spirit and fill your soul. Take time to practice your faith, whatever that may be. Help others. That always makes the soul feel good. Try some of the items listed above. What are some of the things that you do to strengthen your spiritual well-being? Please share with the rest of us so that we may all have a strong spirit and be STD free.
It is shocking that even in this day and age, self-care is considered selfish by many. This could not be further from the truth. There are many reasons why this is so, but we are going to look at two that I think we should consider. The first should be rather obvious. When you work on healing yourself, be that from a personal trauma, or just from the stress of daily life, you allow your best self to shine through. Why is this so important? You then become the best version of yourself. This is one of the greatest gifts you can give to others. Showing up to meet your friend for coffee when you are lacking sleep, barely able to concentrate on what they are saying and falling asleep when they are talking is not that great of a gift. Sure, it is great that you are spending time with them, but it is not quality time. Now, saying, “I am sorry I need to get some rest. How about meeting next week?” may seem selfish. If you show up next week and are able to not only to stay awake for their story about sick aunt Agnes, but offer valuable insight on their story as well, that is a far greater gift.
Bringing your best self to any situation is a great gift. It means you are being the best parent, the best friend and the best lover. Taking the time to heal and make sure you are able to share your gifts with those around you is not selfish at all. In fact, by taking the time to bring your best self, you are giving them a gift. You are giving them the best of you that you can.
The second reason that self-care is not selfish may be even more important. The knowledge you gain and are able to share. When you discover ways to heal yourself, you can pass those ways on to others. Maybe you are really busy and live a stressful life. You find ways to balance that stress and not get overwhelmed. How do you do that? Do you think there are other people who would like to know how to do that as well? I bet there are. Have you found a way to heal your soul after losing someone very close to you? Taking that time, and engaging in those practices, will allow you to help someone else heal too. That is one of the best things we can put out into the universe, to help others heal. If you rush through life, do not take time to heal yourself, it will not only cost you, but it will cost others. You will show up as only a shell of yourself. You will not learn any healing methods that work for you and may help others. To me, this is far more selfish than taking time for yourself.
Take time for that meditation or yoga retreat. If you need to say “No”, than do it. Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It is actually one of the greatest gifts you can give to those around you and the world itself. Taking care of ourselves will allow us to share the best of who we are and every healing modality we learn. Self-care is not only care for ourselves, but it is one of the best things we can do to care for others.
I want to remind all of you the importance of putting a priority on yourself. This is not to say that you should disregard other people’s feelings. Quite the opposite. By being the best version of yourself that you can be, you are able to bring the best to those you interact with. What you should guard against, is sacrificing what is truly important to you to avoid upsetting others. If they truly value who you are, they will understand that you need to do certain things for your own physical and mental well-being.
If you face a situation like this, it is important to convey this information with tact. It is also important not to be persuaded by guilt, threats or anything else that will make you give up what is truly necessary to you and your well-being. By devoting your life to pleasing the masses, you wear yourself thin and will eventually break. You need to take time for yourself. You have a duty to make sure that you keep your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health up. Just as you can only change yourself, you should be the chief person responsible for yourself and your health.
Here we are at the start of a new week. We can already feel overwhelmed with our ‘to do lists’ and obligations for the coming days. How many of us have self-care items on our ‘to do lists’? All too often, our self-care gets pushed down to the bottom of the list. We really must understand the importance of taking care of ourselves and the benefit to others.
Look at so many other things in our life. Take our cars for example. We get their tires rotated, we change the oil. Why do we do these things? We do them so our car will be able to get us from point A to point B. How about our cell phones? We keep them charged and updated. Why? So they will run at optimal speed and we can put them to full use.
When it comes to inanimate objects, we understand that taking care of them will help them serve us better. In the case of the car, the better we maintain it, the longer it will last and the more efficient it will operate. If we keep our phone fully charged and updated it will have a better connection and speed in use.
How come when it comes to ourselves we somehow think these rules don’t apply? If, like the car, we maintain our bodies with good food and fitness, won’t we last longer and be more efficient? Like the phone, of we allow ourselves to recharge, won’t we have a better connection with the world around us, and those in it? Won’t we have more energy and be able to operate in a faster rate than if we are living off 2 hours of sleep and 3 large coffees?
This week, stop viewing self-care as something selfish. See it for what it is; a necessary step to bringing the best version of ourselves to the world at large and to those in our life we care about. Next time you get in your car, or pick up your cell phone, remember how much better they operate when we take care of them. The truth is we operate a lot better when we stop and take care of ourselves as well.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 