I want to remind all of you the importance of putting a priority on yourself. This is not to say that you should disregard other people’s feelings. Quite the opposite. By being the best version of yourself that you can be, you are able to bring the best to those you interact with. What you should guard against, is sacrificing what is truly important to you to avoid upsetting others. If they truly value who you are, they will understand that you need to do certain things for your own physical and mental well-being.
If you face a situation like this, it is important to convey this information with tact. It is also important not to be persuaded by guilt, threats or anything else that will make you give up what is truly necessary to you and your well-being. By devoting your life to pleasing the masses, you wear yourself thin and will eventually break. You need to take time for yourself. You have a duty to make sure that you keep your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health up. Just as you can only change yourself, you should be the chief person responsible for yourself and your health.
Anyone of you reading a website about secrets to an amazing life are not ok with being mediocre. The simple truth to living an amazing life is focusing on what we can control and not being bogged down on that which we cannot. What we can control boils down to one thing and one thing only – ourselves. We are not happy with our health? It is up to us to change our diet and physical activity. Not happy with your job? Complaining about your boss or coworkers will not change a thing. Going back to school or pursuing your passion on nights and weekends while working that day job will. Not happy with your relationship? Blaming your partner for everything only puts the key to your happiness in their pocket. Working your butt off to improve every aspect of yourself and your relationship, that will make a difference. If it still does not, it may be time to take a hard look at that relationship to decide whether you are truly right for each other. That doesn’t involve blaming either party, just deciding your values may be different. Only do that after you have given 120% on your end, or you may end up living with regret for the rest of your life.
Learning to control and master ourselves will give us an amazing life. Realizing that there is nothing else we can control will make that a lot easier. If you are truly looking for an amazing life, and one that is far from mediocre, than look no further than the mirror. That is the person in charge of your life and the only thing you can, and should, have control over. Today, let us all work on gaining control over ourselves. Whether that is to say ‘no’ to that doughnut in the breakroom, or ‘yes’ to getting up and going to the gym, we must control ourselves. Can’t get control over an aspect of your life? It is your responsibility to seek out more knowledge or assistance to do just that. Today, begin the journey to an amazing life. Take control over yourself.
For those of you following this blog recently, you know that I have just returned from a week-long vacation to the sunny island country of Jamaica. What a fun time I had with my lovely lady, Margie. Today is my first full day back. Tomorrow I return to my day job at the Post Office. It was my first real vacation in 4 years and the first time I have taken a full week off of everything since…well…I can’t even remember when.
Ironically, when I was looking for things to write about, I came across this picture. It reminded me of something I think we could all benefit from. Stress, anxiety and overwhelm seem to be the status quo these days. Especially in “developed” countries. I put that word in quotes because we must ask ourselves what really is developed. Sure, our technology might be advanced. Does that make up for the lack of low-tech enjoyment? Our productivity might be at record levels, but what about the self-care that we all seem to sacrifice to get ahead? If our work output is developed, does that even matter when our spirit is not? It is time to change the focus.
Take the first item on this list. Humans were not meant to sit at a desk from 9 to 5. We really were not. We are meant to be physically active creatures. We were meant to move. Not only does physical exercise help reduce stress and release natural feel-good chemicals in the brain, it helps prevent and reverse many of the health conditions we all suffer from. You don’t have to slave in the gym for an hour, although I enjoy the feeling afterward. You can incorporate walks after dinner, bike rides with friends or even creating a dance routine to your favorite song when nobody is home. Moving helps us both mentally and physically.
The answer must be more relaxing right? The answer to that is both yes and no. While taking some time to unwind is something we should all invest in, how we do so becomes very important. Coming home to relax and watch a little television or a movie is not a bad thing. Bing watching for several hours every night is not healthy. Not only does it deprive us of the movement that is so valuable that we mentioned above, but it deprives us of time to accomplish things that will give us a feeling of pride and self-confidence. Again, this is not to say we should never relax with our favorite streaming service, just that we should do so with moderation. We should also mix in reading our favorite book, spending time with friends, taking a leisurely walk in nature and other relaxing options.
How about only exploring the world only 2 weeks a year? As discussed earlier, I am as guilty of this as anyone else. We need to get away and experience other cultures and people as often as we can. Not only will this broaden our knowledge of people and their circumstances, it may shed new light on our own lives. Look at this beautiful sunset picture I took over the ocean. A scene like that refreshes the soul. Talking with many of the Jamaican people, I learned that they were truly happy with a life that included a lot less than I was used to having. How did they do that? By focusing on being grateful for what they had. Seeing the poverty that many of the islands people lived in, reminded me to be grateful for all that I have. Even just hearing what is important to them and to their families allowed me to see life in a completely different light. Their friendly hospitality everywhere we went was amazing.
How about creativity? Adults seldom, if ever, spend time on creative pursuits. I believe this is for one of two reasons. First, they view such endeavors as wasted time. What does coloring a picture accomplish? I will tell you what it accomplishes. It helps save your brain from a meltdown! That is why I am happy to see the popularity of ‘adult coloring books’. Why do more people not do this? I think another reason is that adults are afraid of not doing things perfectly. If they look worse than their neighbor, they think they have failed. Not true. Picasso had people with square noses and he was considered a great success. The point is to just have fun and let lose. Keep that right side of your brain healthy. If I had to worry about being better than my neighbor, I would never do much. Margie is a very accomplished artist and can do almost any art thing better than I can. Still, I understand that we all have our own unique talents and shine in our own way. Speaking of Margie, she provides another clue to maintaining a creative outlet – surround yourself with creative people. The other night at dinner she stared at her blank placemat and exclaimed, “I need crayons!” She was serious. You need someone like that.
This plays into our last point. Not to have all your aspirations beaten out of you. In a world of online critics, this can be more difficult than ever. Remember this, someone who is truly happy with themselves will never criticize others. One of the most difficult critics to defeat is the one between your own ears. I remember when I thought about starting a blog, writing my first book, starting a YouTube channel or starting a podcast, I did my best to talk myself out of it. Luckily for me, I also had people in my life that pushed the issue. You want to write a book? Give it a shot! You want to become a fashion designer? Try putting together a few outfits. We function best when we are pursuing a dream. Never give up on yours!
As you read this, I’m heading back to Wisconsin from Jamaica 🇯🇲. It is a sad day for me as I love the warmth, sun and people of this island. We made many good friends here. We had a few adventures. We ate lots of good food. Most importantly, we made lots of good memories.
The important thing is trying to figure out how to take all of this back home with us. We made friends with another couple who live not far from us and I am going to send them one of my books when I return. We took lots of pictures that will help us recall the fun we had. Margie even bought me a fun matching hat and shirt that I will wear and recall this fun trip.
Like the first picture says, it is what is in your heart that matters most. That is why I feel it is important to have a plan forany major event. Know what you want to take away in your heart. The romantic drawing in the sand has been erased by the tide, but the feeling I had when I saw it coming out of the ocean is fresh in my heart. It is these sort of memories one should include as often as you can in life.
As I write this, I am in vacation in Negril Jamaica. Above is a Latte made by one of the employees here at the resort. It was one of the best I have ever had. As I sat in the large lobby enjoying it, the thought occurred to me that for me, being in the tropics, enjoying a great coffee with the lady I love was close enough to perfect. For a few minutes I sat and just soaked it all in.
This is the view from where we ate lunch. Another moment of soaking itall in. You never know when life, or even your vacation, can go sideways. You need to have these moments of peace and perfection to fall back on. Make sure you soak in the beauty of as many moments in life as you can. Until next time my friends, keep Living your amazing life. 😀
Yesterday was April Fools Day. Often, this day can leave people feeling belittled or, as the name of the holiday suggests, foolish. I think we should make April second, Random Kindness Day.Not just for those who might be suffering from an April Fools joke that might have hit a little deeper than intended, but from all of those carrying a burden.
We rarely, if ever, know the complete story behind someone’s tears or their smile. We should not have to. There is no such thing as a struggle free life for any of us. There is also no such thing as a person who couldn’t use a little more encouragement. This day, be a little extra kind to everyone you meet. You never know which one of us could use it the most.
On a side note, I’m currently in the country of Jamaica. A lot of people here live at or below the poverty level. If nothing else,I can offer them respect and encouragement. I want to leave each person I meet with a little more joy in their heart than before I came. Shouldn’t that be the goal for everyone of us?
Today is April Fools Day. Traditionally, people play jokes on others on this day. I’m not really a fan, but to each their own. One thing we must caution against is fooling ourselves. We do this by the way we talk to ourselves.
90 to 95% of your life is controlled by your subconscious mind. It really is a miraculous thing. It heals your wounds. It keeps your heart beating without you having to think about it. The one thing about the subconscious mind is that it can’t think for itself. For that it trusts the conscious mind. That would be your normal thinking mind.
How does your conscious mind communicate with your subconscious mind? By the words you say to yourself. Your subconscious mind accepts whatever you say to yourself as true. It then proceeds to act on that information. If what you say is mostly negative, such as “I am always so stupid.” Not only will you be more likely to make stupid decisions, you will be far more likely to notice when you do.
Keep in mind the power of your words and use them in a positive manner. Let today remind you not to make a fool out of yourself!
I love this reminder. Words you hear all over social media and in a lot of self-improvement sectors are words like ‘hustle’ and ‘grind’. Sure, working hard is important. It is what allows us to rise above the crowd and become the best version of ourselves. What makes no sense is working so hard that we sacrifice the enjoyment of life. It is true that we have to make choices in regards to our priorities. We might have to skip thatshopping trip that sounds fun to make sure what we need to do around the house gets done. It may not be as enjoyable, but we will feel better long term. The key is to find a way to enjoy cleaning the house.
Whatever your goal in life is, make sure to add “enjoy the process” to the list. Not only will you enjoy chasing that goal more, but you will enjoy that part of your life more. After all, isn’t that the goal? To enjoy as much of our life as possible.
Here is one of those lessons in life that seem contrary, but they are not. As you read this, I will be on a beach in sunny Jamaica 🇯🇲. Sounds like a pretty fun time does it not? I am assuming it will be. We were, however, supposed to be in the Bahamas. Due to a better deal, and more convenient departure, we chose Jamaica.
If we were to focus on how much we wish we were in one tropical paradise, we would be unable to enjoy the one we are currently in. What a great problem to have, but people do this regularly. There are so many beautiful and amazing things in life, if we are always focused on what we lack, we will miss those things. Conversely, if we keep our focus on what we have to enjoy, we will go through life from one beautiful experience to another!
The same is true for waiting to arrive at our destination. My love and I are going to enjoy the process of getting there. We are going to create memories on the way to the resort as well as the time we are there. I’ve said this many times, we spend most of our lives on the journey of life. That is what we need to find a way to enjoy.
Even in hard times, look for what you can enjoy. This is not always the easiest thing to do, but it is possible. It is a lot easier if you have the habit of doing so in the good times. Maybe the good thing is just having someone to stand beside you while you are going through whatever it is that is trying your soul? There is always some beauty to be found if we look hard enough.
When something is scarce, it becomes valuable. The less there is of it, the more valuable it becomes. Coffee, for example, used to be extremely expensive. Now, with better international shipping, a cup of coffee can be had almost anywhere. This is great news as a blog writer and future best-selling author. In the modern world, many things have become more available and thus, more economical. There is one thing that has become extremely rare. It may be something that many of us think has little or no value. The truth could not be more different.
What is this thing that has become more rare and is often overlooked for its extreme value? The answer is this – down time. In today’s world, we are so busy trying to accomplish as much as we can that taking a break can have many of us feeling guilty. We are so well connected that being ‘disconnected’ feels wrong. The other day I drove by a high school on my way home from work and what did I see at the bus stop? Roughly 5 kids all staring at their phones. I won’t get into the online verses personal connection, that is for another post. What is sad, is that we are always busy doing something.
I love to go for walks in nature. I see people walking, jogging or riding their bikes. If they are alone, they usually have headphones in or a phone in their hands. What is the cost of all of this business? Lack of connection with the most important person in our lives – ourselves. We spend so little time in our own heads, we often have no idea what is going on there. I hear so many people say “I just feel down and I don’t know why.” Maybe it is because we are not paying attention to the thoughts and emotions we are feeling? We are busy watching, reading, and listening to things that we drown out the voice coming from within. You know, the one that might have warned us something was bothering us before it became overwhelming!
How do I know this to be true? Because one of the people I have heard say these things more often lately is the man writing this blog. On more than one occasion feelings of dread or sadness have overcome me and I have had no idea why. Not only is this a negative feeling, but it is frustrating as hell. How can you fix something when you don’t even know what is wrong? How indeed! What we need to do is spend some time doing nothing. Just relaxing and being present. It will not only be good for our mental health, which is worth its weight in gold, but good for our productivity. How can doing nothing be good for productivity? We all have hundreds of million dollar ideas in our wonderful brains. The reason we usually never realize them, and act on them, is because it is too loud for us to even hear them.
I am not just talking at you, I am talking to the man at the keyboard. Today I leave for my first real vacation in over 4 years. I will be gone for a whole week. Do you know when the last time I took a week away from everything? Here is the sad part, neither do I. These blogs will be written and scheduled ahead of time. My fourth book that is due out in the next few months? It will have to wait. What will be true is my mind will be clearer and better able to complete that book and bring you insightful thoughts in future blogs after this week. I encourage all of you to schedule some downtime and do so soon. It will not only help you be more productive, it will be a goldmine for your mental health!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 