When I saw this quote, it sure made me chuckle. It did get me thinking about how many groups we belong to. Whether we voluntarily join them, or in the case of Wally World, are forced to become a part of them. Here is the cool thing about it. The more groups we recognize that we belong to, the better off we are. When we only think about one group, say a political or religious affiliation, and define ourselves solely by that, we create division. “That person is X and I am a Y.” However, if we see that person stuck in the self-checkout waiting for a human to come fix their transaction, just like us, suddenly they become more familiar.
With the advent of the internet and other such technologies, the world is becoming smaller than ever. I can turn on my television in the United States and tune into a Ugandan television station. We can go on social media and chat with someone halfway around the globe. You often hear me mention my friend who reads this blog in Italy. He is an Italian, married to a Filipino woman. I am an American attached to a sweet French, English, Irish (among other things). We could point out many differences. You know what I notice? We are both gentleman with impeccable music tastes that are interested in bettering ourselves, exploring the natural world around us and creating a great relationship with our ladies.
In any situation, we can find many differences among us. We can also find many different souls in one of the groups we find ourselves in. It is ironic how foreign a person and their ideas may seem until we find that common ground. Even challenges, such as a medical condition, can bring us in the company of others we may not think about otherwise associating with. Next time you are tempted to discount another person based on their political beliefs, sexual orientation or religion, remember, they may be at the Walmart Self-checkout just like us.
The thought today is such an important one. It is my firm belief that everyone should share their story. With the options in media we have to choose from, there really is no excuse not to. You could do it in a podcast. You could write a blog like this one. You could write your own book. You could become a speaker and share your message that way. Whatever way you choose, it would benefit the world if you were to share it.
When I say this, people struggle with the fact that their message is one worth sharing. “I am just a house wife.” or “I am just a server/bartender/barista.” they say. How many other people fill that same role around the world? Do you think they would love to read about the challenges you face? Do you think they could benefit from shaking their head saying, “Yep, I’ve been there!” I think you know the answer is yes.
The other challenge people have when it comes to sharing their story is they think they are not a success. I have heard them say, “I haven’t done everything right. I am still a mess.” That’s great! Do you know how many of us are still learning? That would be all of us. Sometimes hearing everyone’s success stories can make us feel like even more of a failure. To hear that there is someone who is still has not figured it all out, may give them hope and assure them they are not alone. This is why it is so important to share your story.
Remember to share your story. Your ‘mess’ can be just the message someone needs to hear. You can share your message in so many different ways. Each one can touch a different soul. You, and your story could very well be the answer to someone’s prayer.
Last post we spoke of finding the miracles in our ordinary lives. It is a lesson that is too easy to forget. I must confess, I often fail to see these miracles. It is about this time that my mood seems to falter. As soon as I express gratitude for these miracles, my level of joy and inner peace begins to climb once again. When you recognize the truly miraculous events that have to take place for your life to move on as it does, you will really raise your vibration and be filled with more joy and inner peace than you have in your life up to that point.
Does this sound like a bunch of hype? Maybe your life at this moment seems far from a miracle? Here is the very important part about miracles. Pay attention now, I really don’t want anyone to miss this. Miracles are rarely, if ever, linear. What this means is that you often cannot witness the miracle in short-term. When you look back, do you know what you discover? Treasure beyond your wildest dreams. Here is another very important thing to remember. If you do not look for the treasure, you will never find it. Although right in front of you, it will remain hidden to you.
Allow me to explain this further by way of a personal example. Many of you know that I went through open-heart surgery and died, albeit briefly. When asked about what I gained out of that experience, many people go for the obvious. They assume, correctly I might add, that I gained a new appreciation for my mortality and how fleeting life is. There was so much more than that. When I look back on the experience, there are so many miracles that had to fall in line for me to be sharing this information with you today.
It all began with my trip to the gym. I had been doing cross fit and was in arguably the best shape of my life. This particular day I was on a cross trainer machine and feeling good. I was full of energy. I just happened to look down and see the heart rate. It read 222. Normal for my age was 93-150. On past occasions, I would have just ignored that number and went on exercising. I am not always the smartest when it comes to listening to my body. This day I decided to call someone. The doctor? No. My lovely Margie. She immediately chastised me for continuing to exercise and insisted I did call the doctor. This I did on the drive home from the gym. Those in the medical profession, who were a lot smarter than yours truly, insisted I go directly to the hospital, but not drive myself. This was ironic as this conversation occurred while I was driving.
That trip in the hospital shed light on the fact I had a deformed heart valve. I was born with this, but nobody in the 43 years prior had shared such information with me. I was also enlightened to the fact that I had a aneurism. As I told the doctor, “This information has never come across my desk.” It was not large enough to require surgery, but needed monitoring. If it were to rupture, it could impact my life negatively, by…well…ending it. This was in 2018. For the next 3 years I had checkups twice a year. They all ended the same way. “You are messed up, but not any more messed up than you were when you were initially messed up.” This diagnosis was always followed with the requirement to pay a hefty $2000. Needless to say, I stopped going for these checkups.
Part of the treatment for the last 3 years was to put me on a ‘just in case’ medicine. This wonderful medicine made me have slightly more energy than a sloth after dinner. When picking up a refill, I happened to mention this to the pharmacist. She looked at the dose and suggested I ask the doctor to reduce it. I pulled out my phone right there and gave the good doctor a call. His response was in order to get a reduction in dose, I must return to receiving the checkups. I thought this was useless, but to avoid being cast as a sloth in the next Disney production, I agreed.
The test was the following week. I was informed the doctor would call me with the results in a few days. When the doctor did call, I happen to be leaving the gym once again. I was expecting the usual diagnosis of ‘no change’. What I heard next surprised me quite a bit. “I think it is time for surgery.” It would appear since my last examination, I had passed the threshold for surgery. By quite a margin I might add.
Going through that open-heart surgery, and all the challenges that went with it, had me feeling in pain more than grateful. Upon reflection, there were so many miracles that had taken place to get me where I am today. Being on a machine that took my heart rate. Deciding not to be a knucklehead and get that checked out. Having the pharmacist suggest I call my doctor to get my medicine reduced. Having the doctor insist to another exam before doing so. If any one of these things had not happened, my aneurism may have burst, and my trip to the great beyond would have been a permanent change of address.
How about in your own life? Can you think about cases where situations came together just right to allow everything to come together? These are life’s miracles. Let me assure you that all of our lives have them. It is up to us to notice them and be grateful for them. It is then that the treasure appears. It may not be gold and jewels, but it is a sense of inner peace, joy and gratitude that will radically transform your life more than mere money evercould.
Uplifting Wednesdays! My favorite day for this site. Every Wednesday we look to lift each other up. Today’s thought is so powerful. Often, a change in our life is no more complicated than a change in perception. This is not to say it is not challenging, but it is not all that complicated. A perfect example is the quote above. We often miss the miracles in life because they have become ordinary. As I write this, I am sitting in a local Starbucks, where I do most of my writing, and I can see countless things that could be considered miracles.
To many of you, this may sound like it is putting on a pair of rose-colored glasses. Maybe, but there is also a great deal of truth to it. Plus, ask yourself this, what does putting on a pair of rose-colored glasses do? It makes the world look rosy! What does that do? Make us feel good. Would you rather go through life feeling good or feeling bad? So how do we get fitted for a pair of these wonderful spectacles and start seeing the miracles that we are missing all around us? I have 2 suggestions to start!
My first suggestion is to indulge in a little bit of time travel. Don’t worry. You will not even have to leave your seat to do so. Take a look at the picture above. The top shows a man in a Ford Model T. Sometime during the early 1900s I would guess. Below is a Bugatti Divo, or as we will refer to it, my next car. Can you imagine taking the man from the top machine and putting him in the bottom car? He would think it was nothing short of a miracle. Even if you put me in the bottom car I would consider it a miracle. This holds true of so many of our modern conveniences. How about a device that would reheat food in mere minutes? Can you imagine how much a mother in the 1930s would have found this helpful? A device in your hand that contains a camera, a computer, a telephone, a pedometer and many other things yet only weighs a few ounces? How about the fabulous internet it runs on? These are all miracles! Look around you and notice how many things would have been unthinkable only a few years ago. As the pace of change in the world quickens, the number of things that will be ‘modern miracles’, as those in the advertising world like to say, will continue to increase.
Although my mother does not enjoy me bringing up the subject, a few years ago I underwent open-heart surgery. In the course of this, I briefly expired and then returned. The whole story is available in my book, The Beat Goes On. Above is a picture of me recovering from such an ordeal. Having tubes stuck everywhere, including in my neck, was not the joyous experience you might imagine it to be. What a gift is was though! Why? It allowed me to really change my perspective on a lot of things. In fact, the whole process occurred due to a string of miracles. Had they not occurred, I might not be here to write this. Steve Jobs said, “You can never connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking back.” This can often be true about discovering the miracles in life.
There are so many events that can help us see the miracles all around us. I recall news stories of hostages being released. When they return to their native lands, they often kiss the ground at the airport. Why? Because the freedom they thought they had lost forever was suddenly returned. Do you think they would kiss the ground at that airport when say going on vacation? Probably not. The freedom was still there, but they did not notice it until it was taken away. Same when the Berlin wall was taken down. People rejoiced, deservedly so, at the new-found freedom they had acquired. Do you think many of those people are dancing in the street for that freedom now? No, it has been taken for granted.
Lastly, loss is a powerful way of helping us see the miracles in our life. There is a line from the song “Life is Beautiful” by the band Sixx A.M. that I think illustrates the point quite well. The line reads “There is nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive.” As dark as this may sound, it is uncomfortably true. How many times have you walked away from a funeral with a new appreciation for how fleeting life is and what a miracle it is to be alive. It also helps us appreciate the miracle of those we share life with. When I learned I was to undergo my surgery, and how risky it was, I was at the movies with the love of my life. I recall looking over to appreciate the miracle of her smile. The way her eyes light up when she is happy. The way her cheeks get rosy. These things are miracles. On any given day, I find it a miracle that such a beautiful and amazing woman loves me. Does that mean I never take that for granted? Although I do my best, I am human. All it takes is some time away from each other or reflection on what we have been through to refresh that miraculous feeling.
How about your life? Have you been letting miracles pass you by? I don’t even know you, but I can assure you that you have. There are so many miracles, disguised as ordinary things, that we can’t possibly notice them all. My suggestion for you? Spend some time each day where you stop, put on a pair of the old rose-colored glasses, and look anew at all the miracles around you. It will refresh your soul and may even help heal some of the pain you have. Feel free to share any of the miracles you are celebrating in your life with us.
In today’s world, this is a very powerful message! If you are foolish enough to turn on the news, you will hear countless stories of conflict, much of it leading to violent and deadly consequences. This could be crime you see in your nation or even your town. On a grander scale, the events in Ukraine and Israel are broader examples of this.
It does not even have to be such extreme cases. There was a man at one of my books signings that told me about how he would always get so mad on his drive to work listening to talk radio. He was angered with the actions of those “idiots”. Those people, in this case, were people who differed from him politically. I don’t even recall which side of the fence he tended to lean. Not that matters much as the anger and hate is the same on both. You could see his blood pressure start to rise just telling me about it. All of this happened at a book signing for my book titled Living the Dream. I asked him what I thought was an obvious question. “Why don’t you just change the station to something you find enjoyable?” He looked at me as if I was being willfully ignorant. “How will I know what they are up to?” he asked. “What would happen if you didn’t?” I countered. He walked away shaking his head at the foolish author. It is my sincere hope he cracks open the great book he purchased and applies a few of its principles.
It doesn’t even have to be some outside source getting our blood pressure up. Many of us do this to ourselves. How many times have you seen something divisive that someone has posted online followed by an endless string of comments. As you read down the comments, they become more heated and lascivious. It doesn’t even have to be something controversial. No. Even people celebrating victories or sharing something that brought them joy can be subjected to scathing comments. Why people go through the trouble of sharing something negative when none is needed is beyond me. Here is something even more confounding – why do we even respond to these?
In our example of the string of comments, I can promise you that none of those people got anything beneficial out of them. In fact, most of them probably got an increase in blood pressure with a side of cortisol, the stress hormone. Quite harmless in and of itself, but I am guessing that was not the only “discussion” they had that day. Many of them probably continued to think about, and maybe even talk about, how wrong this person was. This only served to get them more upset and experience negative emotions while they were thinking and talking about it.
The crazy thing about all of this is that it is completely unnecessary. Is it that important that you have to be right? Here is another thought to ponder. Do you think it might be possible that due to different life experiences and circumstances a person can have a different, yet equally valid, opinion on an issue than you? Is there a chance that both you and that person could be right? Their opinion being right for them and yours being right for you? Do you think there is room to be friends with someone who doesn’t think and feel exactly like you? Hell, that even happens in my house. Of course we know the answer to all of these is yes.
One more question. If you finally ‘prove’ to the other person that your opinion is ‘right’ or ‘better’ than theirs, was it worth the stress and loss of inner peace to get there? What happens if you do win an argument? Do you get a trophy? A cash prize? No. I will tell you what you get. You get get stress, high blood pressure, a weakened immune system as well as a weakened friendship. For what? Are all of these arguments and needing to be right worth the loss of peace? How difficult would it be to say, “Although I disagree with your opinion, I respect your right to feel that way.” and then move on to a more agreeable topic? Next time we feel the urge to argue a point, or prove we are ‘right’, let us slow down and ask ourselves if it is worth our inner peace.
Last post we discussed the importance of finding tools and strategies that we can customize to us and our particular journey. You are reading a website about living an amazing life, but what defines an amazing life? The answer will be different for each one of us reading this. First of all, this site is followed in over 200 countries with many different cultures, values and beliefs. Even in the same country, town and even family, people have different goals and ambitions. There is one thing that will make any goal you are chasing more likely to succeed. It doesn’t matter if that goal is a health goal, a financial goal or a spiritual goal, there is one element that people often miss when pursuing their ambition. That missing key to your success is to enjoy the journey.
Finding ways to enjoy the journey is not some added bonus you should look for, it is a necessity! No matter how much it may further our aspirations, if we cannot find something in the journey that could bring us joy, it will not be sustainable. We often use the example of physical fitness to illustrate points, so let us go with that. Many people absolutely dread fitness. Especially when you begin, it is important to find an activity that brings you joy. If gyms are intimidating, try going for a walk in nature. Maybe after years of sloth, your body is not able to do walking just yet. That’s ok. Try biking, swimming or even dancing vigorously around the house! Whatever you choose, have fun with it.
A great way to have fun is to look at your progress. That is why having goals that are measurable is so important. Look, it is no fun to wrap the measuring tape around your belly after years of pizza and beer, but know that the starting line and get excited for the progress. Make a point to stop and appreciate yourself, and your efforts once a month, or once a week. Whatever you need to do to keep yourself motivated. What happens when the scale hasn’t budged or the inches haven’t moved along despite your best effort? Celebrate the fact that you have shown the effort. Perhaps look at discovering a new, and fun activity to add to your efforts?
Whatever goal you are pursuing in life, make sure to add this question to your list. When writing the steps to accomplishing your goal down, ask yourself, “How can I enjoy this process.” Do not quit until you find, at the very least, one answer. When I go to work, every day I know I am putting aside money for both my retirement and my next vacation. That makes my day a little more enjoyable. I look forward to finding ways to make my coworkers happy and improve their days. This brings me joy. How about you? What are you working on? How are you going to make it enjoyable?
When I was growing up, multi-tasking was the ‘in’ thing to do. Sadly, there is nothing that ruins productivity more. Firstly, you can’t truly work on multiple tasks at the same time. Our brains are not wired for that. Even if I had 2 computers going at the same time, I could not write both my books and my blogs at the same time. They would end up coming out in a language that does not even exist. If I were to write a book for 5 minutes, then switch to my blog writing computer and let us throw in running over to my microphone to add an episode to the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. What kind of quality content do you think I would be putting out? It would be garbage. I would be chasing 2, or in this case 3, rabbits and end up catching none.
A far better course of action is to become laser-focused on one activity, finish it and become focused on the next. Do you know how long it takes the brain, on average, to regain focus? The answer is 23 minutes. Now, if we are constantly switching from one task to another we are never fully in focus on any one of them. In the end, this will cost us both time and productivity. Just at the point where we are getting in focus and our brains are adjusting to the task we are working on, we switch gears. This makes little to no sense. Let us look at an even better example.
I like trees, and I hope none are harmed in the reading of this post, but the point should be pretty clear. When we are multi-tasking, we are hitting that tree in a 1000 different places. When we are focusing our efforts and hitting that tree 1000 times in the same spot, we will accomplish our goal in a far quicker time. Think of this next time you want to work on a million projects at the same time.
Let us begin to train our focus to work on one thing at a time. We will not only use our brains to their greatest potential, we will accomplish a lot more and do it in a far shorter amount of time. By developing this habit, we will make the coming year the most productive, and a lot less stressful, year that we have had in a long time.
I have to confess something. When I first began this journey of self-improvement, saying like this drove me crazy. “You have to be something before you can have it.” “You have to feel abundant, before you can be abundant.” None of this made sense to me. How can you feel abundant, when you are not? How can you feel fit when you are not? It is really about being on the same frequency as that which you desire. Another saying that made little sense to me when I started out, so let me break it down a little further for you. When you identify as someone who is ‘healthy’ but your body says that you could be a spokesperson for a value meal, how does that compute? Simple, you have to start somewhere. When you are beginning to be something new, you are still starting from where you were.
Here are a few more terms to confuse us. Energy, frequency and vibration, what do they all mean? Nikola Tesla was a genius, and I am sure he could explain it far better than I could. We could look into how at its core, everything is energy and the way of measuring an objects frequency is cycles per second or how often an object vibrates in a repetitive motion. Anyone up for that discussion? Me neither. I would much rather refer to these three in terms of ‘identity’. When you identify as a healthy person, you have that frequency, vibration and energy. Here is the tricky part, when shifting energies, the old energy does not give up very easily. However, if you truly want to identify as a healthy person, that is powerful. There are few things as powerful to a person as their sense of identity.
If you begin telling others, and more importantly yourself, that you are now a healthy person, you will act and think in a certain way. You will begin to eat to fuel your body and not just to entertain your taste buds. You will look at fitness as something you get to do and not something you have to do. If, you find yourself in the drive thru at McDonalds, it may occur to you this is not something a healthy person would do…several times a week. That is the problem with the “6 -minute abs” way of thinking. Diets and fitness fads do little to change the identity of the person involved. Therefore, their success will be both limited in terms of success and duration.
As we close the year out, let us work on a more powerful sense of identity for ourselves. At the end of the day, it is something we determine for ourselves. This, is one of the main stepping stones for a lot of people in this social media world. We pay far too much attention to other people’s opinions. Les Brown has a saying, “Never let someone’s opinion of you become your reality.” This is especially true when starting something new. When you are beginning a new journey, people are all too happy to point out where you were or how far you have to go. “You are going to be healthy? The guy who ate an entire pizza at the holiday party?” That is who you were, not who you are going to become.
One way to help change our identity, is to change our perspective. Like the quote that began this post. As we look to increase our abundance this coming year, let us start with gratitude for all we have. Take money, which is only a portion of abundance. Do you know the average global income is $12,235? I didn’t either. Most of you reading this make more than that. Therefore, you are closer to being wealthy than poor. You have access, in some form or fashion, to the internet. That is better than 35% of people. Do you have clean water to drink and bathe in? Better than 25% of the world’s population. Do you have all 3? You are abundant my friends. Start looking up how many people have laptops, how many people have 3 meals a day. The list can go on. By the time you are done, you will discover how truly abundant you are. Then, you will be on that frequency, vibration and energy. You will identify as an abundant individual. This puts into play your subconscious mind and your reticular activating system in your brain. More science that I make simple in my book, Living the Dream. Until you read that great book, just know if we change our identity, we change our reality. Read that last line again and think how you can put it to work for you.
Confused by today’s title? It really is as simple as the quote above. Let us be honest with each other here. The week is ending. The month is drawing to a close. Even the year is almost over. Many people think that with a month left to go, it is a little late to make any grand improvements. Here is the truth about improvements, especially self-improvements, they all start with a single moment. Yes, the may take days, months or even years to complete, but they all start with a single decision. It all starts to change when we finally say “Enough!” or “Now is the time!” The end of our rope is the location for many of our best beginnings.
One of the most profound changes we can make is our own attitude. It is our attitude at the onset of a project that most determines its outcome, as William James mentioned. We can think of how this may be true. If we begin a project with the belief that it will not work, how hard will we look for solutions to the challenges that may arrive along the way? Not very hard I would imagine. If we are determined to get in better shape, how many options will we be willing to explore? The net worth of the weight loss industry is estimated to be 72.6 billion. That is people trying a lot of options. How well any will succeed depends a great deal on the attitude of the person attempting them.
With one month left in the year, there is no greater area we can work on improving than our own attitude. We will have bad days. Many circumstances are out of our control. What is completely in our control is our attitude. The better our attitude, the better our chances of success in life. The worse our attitude, the worse our chances for success will be. This is not limited to just one area of our life either. Our attitude crosses over and touches every aspect of our life. This makes it one of the most important areas of study and improvement we can make. Why not work on entering the new year with a new, and improved, attitude?
What a title! What could possibly be so important that if we did not do it we would die? Is there really such a thing? The short answer is ‘Yes.’ Do not worry, this is not like one of those social media posts that claim if you don’t share it with all of your friends, coworkers and the neighbor’s dog that you will be cursed with 10 years bad luck. In fact, this is actually backed by science. You will not fall over dead when you walk out the door tomorrow if you do not do this either. What you will do, sadly, is you will call it quits several years before those we do put this simple tool to work for them will. Keep reading to find out how you can not only add more years to your life, but ultimately more life to your years.
According to Equifax, most people live 10-20 years after they retire. That is a pretty good margin. How can we be more likely to lean towards the 20 year side and not the 10 year side? I was having this very discussion with my coworker, Rob, the other day. According to neuropsychologists, having a sense of purpose is one of the greatest predictors of health and wellness in old age. Let that soak in for a while. For those of us who are picturing just laying on the beach everyday sipping cocktails (certainly something to do when retired) there must be more to life. Those who wake up with a purpose after retiring, have reduced stress levels, are in better physical health and age more successfully. Think of it. Less stress, a stronger immune system and a greater sense of happiness. Isn’t that what we all want when we retire?
Work, as trying as it can be, gives us a reason that we must get out of bed in the morning. We have to pay the bills. We have to earn money to go on vacation or to take the lady out for dinner. Whatever it is you are working towards. Sometimes it is working towards retirement. A lot of people are shocked when they get there. It is as if they worked their whole life towards something, and now that they have it, they are not sure what to do with it. If you are thinking that you do not need a purpose, consider this fact. According to a recent study of retirees, having a purpose lowered their risk of death by 15.2%. This held true across different races, religions and ethnicity.
We have discovered that having a purpose not only increases the length of your life, but the quality of it as well. This does not mean you have to work until you die. We ended the last post with a quote from the great Howard Thurman. We included two more from him in this post. I think they give us the answer to living a long and fulfilling life. That is finding what sets our soul on fire and doing more of that. It could be working in the garden. It could be joining a book club and discovering great new books, as well as friends. For me, I know retirement will consist of continuing this blog, writing books and producing episodes of the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. How about you? What will your grand purpose be when you retire?
Added bonus here. You do not have to wait until retirement to reap all of these benefits. Find something that sets your soul on fire now! At the very least, start looking for that. Once you find it, and start enjoying it, you will experience the wonderful benefits we mentioned in this blog. I know after a hard day working my day job, writing is as much of a release as it is anything else. I love exploring nature and going to the gym as well. Coffee with friends provides interesting conversations. Time spent chasing dreams with the love of my life never fails to be exciting. When I retire, it will be more a transition than an end.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 