Who among us does not have a to-do list? There are things like taking out the garbage, doing the dishes and laundry. In all the craziness, how many of us add ourself on the list of things to take care of. This made sound cliche, but if you do not take care of yourself you will not be able to take care of anything else.
Think of when you have a schedule full of events. Kids soccer practice, dinner with friends getting an oil change or whatever it is you have planned. Suddenly, you get the flu. All your plans come to a crashing halt. You would think the one common denominator in all of our to-do activities (you) would be something we would put at the top of the list. Most of us, however, keep self-care as an item we will do if we have ‘extra time’. How many of us have any of that?
Today, make sure you take care of yourself so you can take care of everything you need.
Who does not like to receive gifts? I know I do. Just the other day, Margie got me this amazing book. It made me quite happy. Even thinking of it as I write this has put a smile on my face. Not everyone is lucky enough to have an amazing lady in their life like I have. You cannot always depend on people giving you gifts every day. That is unless they are the Amazon driver.
There are two amazing gifts that you can give to yourself daily that will not only make you happy, but unlike Amazon, they will actually add to your life! We are going to tackle these gifts one at a time. A little word of caution. Do not underestimate the power of these gifts. You may look at them and think, “Oh that’s cute.” Perhaps you might even think they sound a little cliche. I can promise you that if you make giving yourself these two gifts a habit, you will add so much peace and joy to your life it will seem like magic. As an added bonus, you will also reduce many of the negative stressors in your life as well. Like…well…stress. You will worry less. You will experience less anger. Are you ready to go shopping? I have great news! You do not have to go to a store. You do not have to go to a website. You do not even have to spend any money for these gifts. Perhaps that is why so many fail to see their value. You will be one of the few that do!
I can see some of you rolling your eyes at this one. “Another post about gratitude?” Yep! More than anything else in my life, gratitude has been so transformative. If you make it a focus and daily practice, the power it has to positively impact your life can seem like magic. Let us throw a little science in the mix. You think, on average, 60,000 thoughts a day. Some a little more. Some, it would appear, a lot less. 80% of those thoughts are negative. 90% are the same thoughts you had the day before. It is crazy how the human brain works. Here is how to change all of that. Begin by thinking with purpose and thinking with gratitude. I threw a lot of numbers at you but here is the important one. You can only think 1 thought at a time. Therefore, when you are thinking about what you are grateful for, you cannot be thinking about what you are worried about. When you are grateful, you cannot be angry at that very second. You can see where this is going. Less anger, less worry and more gratitude. Just think how that may affect your life.
When I mention the gift of forgiveness, people stop and say, “I thought you said this was about giving yourself gifts? Forgiveness is something you give to others?” This may seem so on the surface, but it really is the gift you give yourself. Forgiveness does mend relationships and that certainly helps. Before we get to far ahead of ourselves let us clear one thing up right away. Some people may think forgiveness is excusing the words or actions of another. It is not. What it is doing is preventing those very words and actions from hurting you over and over again. That is what happens when you keep hurt and anger inside yourself. Have you ever watched someone tell you a story about something they will not forgive? They often get upset just telling you about. Their blood pressure rises, their cortisol and adrenaline spike. Meanwhile, the person who did this to them is enjoying a latte and reading a book down the street without a care in the world.
There is a million reasons why people do hurtful and mean things. We can’t pretend to know everyone’s story. Truth is, it really doesn’t matter. Look at the quote from Buddha. We are only hurting ourselves. This is even trickier when the person that we are so upset with and cannot forgive looks back at us in the mirror. We hurt someone and never got the chance to apologize. We did something foolish. We self-sabotage. There are a million crazy reasons we get upset with ourselves. What do emotions like regret and guilt do? They can quite literally drive us to an early grave. It certainly does not change the past. It only steals joy from the present. That does not to much to help the future either. Just like when we are upset with someone else, hanging on to that pain only serves to hurt us over and over again. Do yourself a favor and let it go. Not for them. For your peace.
Can you see how focusing on these two gifts can radically transform your life? Imagine taking just a few moments of your day to pause in reflection on gratitude and forgiveness. How would that improve your life? I would love to hear your answers.
Last post to celebrate 1000 posts on this site, we discussed what actions would make the greatest difference. Two of the most important were fostering an attitude of gratitude and sowing the seeds of what you wish to reap. I have done my best to practice this is the last 1000 days. I do my best to make sure each post does a little bit to uplift, inspire and educate all of those who read it. We discussed how actions of kindness and compassion are great seeds to sow that will come back to fill your world with kindness. Little did I know that I was foretelling my future!
Margie had told me she was going to take me out to celebrate 1000 posts and my dedication to writing them everyday. Little did I know, her and my mother worked together to gather some of my closest friends to help me celebrate. I could not have been happier. Last post I discussed the importance of making sure you surround yourself with great people that will encourage you and lift you up. I certainly have! What a great blessing all of these friends are!
I also had a separate section to say how grateful I was for Margie and how much she has added to my life. This is one example where I was overwhelmed with love and appreciation. Not only did she have me feeling these emotions, but her, along with our friends and family, have me excited to bring my fourth book to publication. Last post was advice to plant seeds of kindness and compassion. It was a reminder to surround yourself with amazing people. Today is evidence and proof that it does indeed come back to you. With abundance at that. I am so grateful for everyone that came out, or sent their thoughts and wishes last night!
Today is a big day here at Secret2anamazinglife.com! We are celebrating posting inspiring and useful content for 1000 days in a row. It took a second to decide what I was going to post on this momentous day. After all, it is one of the biggest milestones we have celebrated since reaching 10 years of content back in 2022. The idea came to me while thinking about one of my favorite inspirations, Earl Nightingale. In his autobiography, he discusses what inspired him to write The Strangest Secret, his most famous work. His thought train was, “What if I only had a short time to live? What words of advice would I give my children?”It is with this mindset that I put forth these words today.
I began to think what words would I share if I only had a short time to live. Having actually gone through that helps a little. Sitting down with a nice cup of coffee, I began to toss that thought around in my head. This is what Earl did as well before he wrote that powerful work mentioned earlier. What came to my mind is the first quote attributed to Gandhi. It is my favorite quote and one I would want the world to focus on. It would seem a thought we are drifting further away from. Rather than focus on who is to blame for all the ills of the world, or complain about them, we should be focused on the solution. I have never found blame and complaining to be part of any worthwhile solution. What is the solution? It is a simple and easy formula we have heard a million times but seldom do we really ponder it’s power in changing our world. “As you sow, so shall you reap.”
This idea was the main motivation for starting this website. Firmly believing that if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. My lament back in 2012, when I started this site, was that there was too much negativity in the world. It seemed everywhere I looked negativity was there. Little did I know by 2025, you didn’t even have to look, it finds you! Delivered to our phones, our laptops, and our mailboxes. It comes through our email, our coworkers and often through the mouths of family and friends. Do you know what complaining about all of this negativity does? Add one more negative thing to the pile! The following year, while pursing writing my first book, I was introduced to the quote, “Better to light a single candle than curse the darkness.” What you are reading is my candle. We had lit 1000 in a row!
The key to all of this was taking action. Recently, I have really come to admire the philosophy of Stoicism. The above quote is an example why. It is simple, to the point and action driven. I have seen people argue about what the right course of action is for hours. It is far wiser to set an example with our actions. Do you want the world to be full of good humans? (which is what I am sure Marcus Aurelius meant) The only 100% guaranteed way to make sure the world begins to have better humans is to be one. Want to help the environment? You best be recycling yourself. Let us waste no more time arguing with each other what should be done. Let us pick up the shovel of our struggle and begin to dig. People may not always listen to what you say, but they will always notice your example.
In this rather long quote from Mahatma Gandhi, he is basically saying the same thing. The part of the quote that states, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies of the world would also change.” In other words, if you find your world a little too negative for your liking, be as positive as you can. What you will find happening is the world returning your positivity in kind. Does that mean you will not face the occasional negative moment? Of course not. It will, however, become the exception instead of the rule. When you sow kindness and compassion, guess what you will reap? That’s right. You will reap kindness and compassion. You cannot plant an apple seed and expect a watermelon to grow from it. No more than you can expect the world to change for the better unless you change for the better. It is the simple equation of “What you sow, you shall reap.”
Today let us all work to be the change we wish to see in the world. Let us plant the seeds of change we wish to reap in the world around us. Seeds of compassion. Seeds of love. Seeds of positivity. Are you planting seeds or are you complaining and sending prayers to the devil, as Mr. Bob Marley so accurately put it?
As we here at Secret2anamazinglife.com chart our next horizon, be that 3000 total posts published, 3 years in a row posting or whatever else we come up with, We encourage you to be the change you wish to see in the world. Begin to plant those seeds that you wish to reap. Thank you for being part of our journey so far. We invite you to stick with us as we continue our work in helping the world be a better place than it was yesterday.
Many of us, dare I say most, do not like having their picture taken. When I look at my picture, it usually resembles some kind of mutant from a B-movie. It doesn’t help the case that the lady in my life, whom I am usually lucky enough to be standing by, is one of those fortunate souls that looks amazing no matter what.
If we put our egos and vanity aside, we must ask ourselves what the purpose of pictures is even for. It is usually to capture a moment or a memory. Sadly, lately Margie and I seem to be attending quite a few funerals. One of the things you see at most of them is picture boards featuring memories of the deceased. When you see people looking at them, it is one of the few moments people are smiling. For a brief moment they are taken back to a moment they shared with the person they are now missing so much.
Wouldn’t it be a shame if there were few, or none, of these memories available? Sure we may be caught making a silly face, or scratching our butt, but that is what makes life amusing. Having those memories will serve as little treasuresof joy when the pain of loss seems unbearable.
This year, feel free to capture as many memories as you can. Even little videos where you have the sound of someone’s voice. Make your appearance in them, even if you think you look like you came from a B-movie set or are scratching your backside. It would be a shame to be left with no memories and then it’s too late.
This quote from Alice In Wonderland applies as much to the real world as to the world of Wonderland. How many times throughout the day do you encounter someone and say to yourself “That person must be mad!“Usually it might be something a little more verbally intense, but in the same vein.
This is the interesting thing about this whole situation. You could really benefit by thinking of the real world as some kind of Wonderland! That grumpy coworker is just a character in the story. It may even help to imagine them looking the part. Challenges at the office turn into situations you have to overcome to get home. Just like Alice did when she was stuck in Wonderland!
This shift in the way you look at the world may not seem like such a big thing. It may even seem a little silly, but that’s the point. If you can go from stressed and angry to amused and silly, that is a win for you and your life! Imagine your life as some kind of fantastical fairytale world and all of the people in it characters. It will lessen the stress and increase the amusement.
This picture was taken during a nighttime walk with my mother at a local park. We walk here a lot during the day. Despite my best efforts against it, she will often walk alone at night. This evening, I joined her, and it was truly a much different experience than during the day. We were not able to see as far as we normally were. Things we could make out during the day appeared as black silhouettes.
You may think this would make it a lesser experience. Not so. Our senses of hearing were more developed and we noticed sounds we may miss during the day. The photo above is of the local water tower.During the day it is just a water tower, but at night it looked almost mystical. Something we could only appreciate at night.
This walk was a great reminder to get a shift in perspective on what you normally see. It can help you appreciate things you may miss. We walk this park countless times during the day, but the evening made it an entirely different experience. Have you ever had such an experience?
A few months ago I hired a personal trainer at my gym. About a month ago, she quit. Hopefully that is no reflection on me as a client. A new trainer, Mia, was assigned to me. Being very thorough, she sat down with me to better understand me and my fitness goals. One of the questions she asked was what my favorite piece of equipment was at the gym. After some deep reflection, I answered her honestly and said “The massage bed is great.”
After a chuckle between us, I answered with a few machines. Here is the lesson in this. The massage bed is great. Helps you relax and feel good. This is true of so many things in life. The help us feel comfortable. The other machines at the gym wear you out and can leave you sore for days. Just like challenges in life. Many things we do will be uncomfortable and could even hurt mentally, emotionally, or even physically long after the event is over.
Why even bother with any of that? Why not stick to only things that are easy and comfortable? In one word, growth. What kind of shape would I be in if the only machine I used at the gym was the massage bed?Sure I would be comfortable at the time, but when the time came to do anything physical, I would be no better off and may even be worse. Using the machines that cause momentary discomfort will allow our muscles to grow and be better in the future.
This is also the way it works in life. If we only stick to things that make us comfortable we will be no stronger of a person when challenges come. In fact, we may even be weaker. It is not fun to have that difficult conversation or make those tough decisions. It is easier to stay in bed than get up to go to work or clean the house. Still, it makes our life easier in the long term. Think of this next time you have to decide on your favorite discomfort.
I’m not sure how your New Year started, but I decided to set mine up for a great start. Margie and I are usually so busy it feels we only see each other in passing. To this end, I booked a hotel getaway for us. Just one night, but that way we could relax without a care and enjoy each other. There was a nice restaurant we went to. The server was quite friendly and helpful. We went back to the hotel to enjoy the swimming pool and hot tub.
Seems like a nice end to the evening. At roughly 11:30 pm, Margie was in the hot tub and I was swimming in the deep end of the cold pool. If you know anything about us, this is opposite of what you should expect. I saw a quarter at the bottom of the pool and dove down for it. As I move my arm to swim, I heard a terrible sound that can only be described asmeat being ripped off the bone. I knew exactly what it was. My shoulder had been ripped out of itssocket.
After what Margie called “blood-curdling scream”, i made it out of the pool. We went up to the room so I could dry off and change as I didn’t want to go in wet swim trunks. I also gave myself a shot of cologne so I wouldn’t offend. I’ll spare you the events of trip other than it was painful. Throughout this, however, I was given several great gifts.
The first was the paramedics in the ambulance. Cyrus was the man helping me. I knew they were away from their families that night and I really appreciated their efforts to assist me. You might be thinking, “that’s their job Neil.” You would be right, but without them, it wouldhave been a long trip to the hospital.
The nurses and doctor made sure to get me what I needed and knocked me out to put my shoulder back in place. My mother came in the wee hours of the morning to take us back to the hotel. Throughout that night, and the following morning at the breakfast buffet at the hotel, my beautiful lady was so helpful.
The point of this is that even though I was in some intense pain, and it rather ruined our calm getaway for the new year, there were so many gifts around me. The amazing medical staff, my mother and of course my beautiful lady who continues to be such a great help. In our darkest hours,it always helps to focus on the light. There will be weeks of rehab ahead and I’m going to do my best to show appreciation to those who are there for me!
Let me begin this by saying that I FIRMLY believe cauliflower cannot become pizza. In fact, I feel it is not good for much at all. Personal opinion part now over, let’s get on with the post.
Often you may think you are not cut out for your dreams. Perhaps you may think you just don’t fit in the role you are striving for.I think today’s technology where they make plasticout of plants, and a million other things, it should be evident that you can make anything out of yourself as well.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 