Here is a word that I would like to put in all of our vocabularies. The ability to embrace things about us that are not perfect, especially in today’s world, can be quite difficult. To do so and still be able to understand that we are still beautiful, wonderful and amazing people can be next to impossible. One thing that may make that easier is having a word to describe just that. “Flawsome” is something we should all be. We all have flaws, yet we are all rock stars at something too.
Flaws are not always the curse we see them as. When viewed by others, flaws can make us relatable. Often, having flaws gives us credibility. How much would you trust someone who tells you they are perfect at everything? I know I wouldn’t. When you own your flaws, and understand they do not make you less of a person, you make it more difficult for others to use them against you.
If there are two things I know about the people I love in my life, it is the fact they have flaws, and they are still totally awesome! Those two facts hold true about you as well. Do not let things about you that need improvement convince you that you are anything less than the beautiful soul you are. You, me, and the rest of the world are all “Flawsome”.
How many of us have people in our lives that continue to let us down and put us in awkward situations? How many of us have people who do this over and over again? It can be hard to make the decision to cut someone off from our life. If we keep these people around us, it is like gripping a hot coal and complaining about it burning us. If we were to just let it go it would cease to burn us and we could begin our healing.
That is not to say that every time there is a misunderstanding or falling out between two parties that it is time to walk away. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has bad days. You have had them. I have had them. If there is someone who repeatedly hurts us and we keep inviting them back into our life, it is us to blame, not them. If someone stabs you in the back, it would be good to keep knives away from them. This is a lot of metaphors, but they all say the same thing, people who have no regard to you or your feelings should be shown the door.
Be on the lookout for circuses that you attend in your own life. If you find yourself routinely complaining about how someone treats you, ask yourself why they are still in your life. Yes, it is hard to cut someone off. That is a one-time hurt. What is worse is to keep someone in your life that hurts you over and over again. You are worth much more than that.
One of the most interesting things in my life has been regret. This emotion is certainly a tricky one. It can paralyze us. How many of us beat ourselves up over actions we took long ago that we can’t undo. I know I still do on occasion. I used to tell people that this was foolish. However, much like everything in life, I asked myself how I could use this feeling. The worse I felt, the more powerful the feeling was. That, in itself, was the answer. It was a very powerful emotion, albeit a negative one. How could I, and more to the point you, use this situation to our advantage?
Regret is one of the worst emotions. At funerals it even surpasses loss. Wishing you would have, or should have done or said this or that can torment you for the rest of your life. Here is what I have learned about regret – it can be something to be grateful for. This may sound crazy, but let me explain. In my own life there have been so many regrets. I think about the way I acted and treated certain people. Many of those words and actions cannot be undone. What those terrible feelings can do is drive me to treat everyone the best I can moving forward. I regret not taking better care of myself, but those feelings can help me focus on my physical and mental health moving forward.
A lot of people will tell you that you should get over regret. I am going to tell you to use it. Whenever those feelings crop up, find a way to do the opposite. Regret not telling someone you love them before they passed away? Reach out to a friend that is in your life currently and let them know how much you care. The best way to deal with regret is to put it to work for you creating an amazing life.
Next to gratitude, which we discussed last post, clarity in one of the most powerful forces to improve your life. When you are clear as to where you want to go in life, you can always tell if you are getting closer or further away. Not sure of where you want to go in life? That can leave you feeling confused and that your life has no direction. I don’t know if you have ever felt that way, but I have and it is not any fun. How crazy is it to be unsure if your life is getting better or worse?
A clear purpose for your life actually reduces stress. Why? It can help you to better design the next steps and actions to take. Goals become easier to reach because they are attached to a bigger life purpose. Here is an important distinction. Goals and life purpose are two entirely different things. When we talk about life purpose, we are speaking of legacy. Why are you here? How do you want to be remembered when you are gone? How can you make the world a better place while you are here? These are the important questions to ask while you are here. They will give you the clarity you seek. Your life purpose is not something you can finish. Say you are a chef. Your purpose may be to supply the world with delicious food that brings smiles to people’s faces and joy to their stomachs. You will continue to do that with every meal you create, every cookbook you write or every cooking video you post. Maybe you are a future best-selling author who wants to bring joy to the hearts of millions. You will continue to do so with every book you write, every blog you post or every podcast episode you appear on.
As mentioned earlier, this also helps you come up with goals to accomplish. If you are a chef, maybe creating a cookbook would let people try creating your amazing recipes at home. If you make cooking videos, it will help them feel like you are in the kitchen with them. As long as you know it will help with your life mission to bring joy to the world through food. Gain clarity in your own life. It will bring you joy. It will bring the world joy.
This is one of those things that can be all too easily dismissed on the surface. It is so powerful, I do not want you to miss it. Not only is this an over-arching formula to live an amazing life, but it can be broken down to increase your joy and satisfaction in any aspect of your life. We constantly discuss the power of gratitude on this site, but it deserves another look. In fact, it is so powerful that every time you are feeling down, you should give it another look.
How easy it is to focus on what we lack. Society seems to have pushed this narrative. You always should want more. While it is true that you should always want more out of yourself and your life, in terms of bettering them, it should not be at the expense of appreciating what you have. Why is this so important? Forget the law of attraction, forget the spiritual reasons, let us look at this practically today. There are many important reasons that fit into the two previous mentioned categories, I assure you. Today, we are just going to look at how this impacts our everyday world and why it could be so powerful.
Let us begin by asking a question, “How does it feel when you stop and think about everything you want but do not have? Feel free to take a pause from reading this and try it for yourself. If you do not want to take the time to do that, I will let you in on a not-so-secret, it feels terrible. You feel poor. You feel like your life is not complete. You feel like you need more. Businesses like you to feel this way. It keeps you as a passionate consumer. That is why many commercials and ads give you the feeling that your life would not be complete without product x or y. That is nothing but nonsense.
Now let us flip the script here. How does it feel when you focus on everything you are fortunate enough to have in life, even though it may not be exactly what you want? Your car may not be that Bugatti you want, but you have a vehicle that gets you from point A to Point B. You may not be working in your dream job, but you have a way to make income and pay the bills. In the 1930s, this would have been a dream for many. Your relationship can be a great source of anger or frustration at times. Still, you must realize that is because you have someone you love and care for so deeply that they can affect your emotions in such a powerful way. When you focus on all you have, you start to feel prosperous and blessed. There is no greater feeling in the world. Here is the awesome part – no matter what shape your life is in, you can use this formula. There is always, and I mean always, something to be grateful for.
If you are still having problems getting into a state of gratitude, try looking at some of those who would give anything to trade places with you. Boss stressing you out? Talk to someone who is desperately trying to find a job. Your house seems to be experiencing one issue after another? Walk through a homeless camp. In today’s world we still have issues of war, famine and genocide. Trust me when I tell you that our lives are not that bad.
As you look to improve yourself and your lot in life, remember to focus on all that you already have. Having a heart filled with gratitude will decrease your stress and increase your joy quicker and more powerfully than anything else I know.
A few posts back we spoke about the dangers of letting comfort become an addiction. Many of you were asking, “Why seek discomfort?” This is a fair question. Why spend your life pushing and pursuing the difficult path. For one, it leads to greater destinations. The steeper the climb, the better the view. If you wish to become truly great in any field, there will be lots of work and sacrifice. Nobody has ever grown to greatness sitting on the couch.
Another reason is put forth to us in the quote above by the great Martin Luther King Jr. It is challenging times that give us the best opportunity to show our true character. In this quote he uses the term ‘man’ but it holds equally true no matter the gender. Challenges provide us an opportunity to stand up for others and for our principles. It is easy to stand up for what is right in a room full of people who agree with us. Will we still be willing to stand up for what we feel is right when it is unpopular? When it is difficult?
More important that the opportunity to prove ourselves to others, is the chance to prove ourselves to…well…ourselves. Will you still make it to the gym after a hard day at the office? (hint, that is the day it might be most beneficial) Will you still be able to be kind to others when your life is going through a rough patch? These are things that you can only find out for sure during the dark times.
Challenging times are never fun, and life can often seem too full of them. Still, they can provide opportunities that just cannot be found when life is easy. Next time a challenge comes into your life, ask yourself how you can put it to use for you. Before long you will become just as grateful for the challenges as you are for the good fortune.
Today in the United States, we celebrate this country’s independence. Our wonderful friends across the pond in England, I imagine not so much. Today’s post is about something a little more personal. Something that we should all be looking to celebrate – personal independence.
In the world we live in, there are far too many people doing things for social media likes, click bait and to strive for their 15 minutes of fame. Here is what many of them fail to realize. If you are doing something for the approval or attention of others, you have become indebted to them. They rule you. Of course we do not want to look at it that way. This does not stop it from being true. What we need are individuals who are brave enough to declare their own independence. Free from the opinions of people on social media. Free from the approval of the masses.
Few things are more painful than when you hear about a young person doing something because they wanted to be cool. Most of the time these things are dangerous, harmful to others or just stupid. All because they did not have the independence to do what they knew was the right and honorable thing to do.
Today, let us declare our independence. Let us do what we know is right and not what will get us likes. You cannot be truly free until you are free from the concerns of the opinions of others. We must be free to take the actions that will allow us to become the best versions of ourselves, even if they prove to be unpopular. There may not be fireworks or a parade, but personal independence is something worth celebrating.
Today is Wednesday, the day we have uplifting posts. I love this day! Do you know what I enjoy even more? That is being able to uplift people in person. Helping someone see the beauty in themselves, others and the world around them fills my heart with joy. How about you? Have you had the great pleasure of helping someone believe in themselves until they are able to do so on their own? It is one of the greatest feelings.
If you are suffering from any kind of problem, if you are just feeling a little down, the best cure is to help someone else. Not only will it strengthen the bond between the two of you, even if it is a complete stranger, but it will leave both of you feeling better than before. As for your own problems? Not only will helping someone with their problems go a long way to putting yours in perspective, but you will no doubt gain someone who may be willing to assist you.
Uplift and inspire someone today. You will end up being one of the best things that happened to them. Who wouldn’t want to be that! Not to mention, it is way too rare. Can you imagine what the world would be like if it were filled with people working to inspire one another? This may seem like a dream, but we can make that dream come true one person at a time.
Another great stoic quote! You may be thinking that you are not currently sailing to any port. In life, a ‘port’ can be any worthwhile destination. The greatest failure of modern humans is their lack of clarity on what they want out of life. If you ask someone what their goals are, they give you answers like “I want to be healthy, happy and make more money.” Sure, we all do. Those goals are generic and pretty much go for everyone.
The ‘port’ to which we are referring to is the overall purpose of your life. What are you here for? Some people say they are waiting to discover their purpose. As if life were going to drop down out of the sky and hand them a big sign telling them what they should be working towards. That isn’t going to happen and that is not how it works. We must decide what our purpose is. What sets our heart on fire with passion and desire? Here is a clue, it has to be something greater than ourselves.
Without clarity and direction in our life, any amount of good fortune will be wasted. Not to mention, the more clear we become in our purpose for life, the more likely we will be able to use any wind in life to assist us. Even the ones that seem to be blowing against us. Without a destination in life, we are not very likely to get far. In fact, we are most likely to spend our days filled with confusion and frustration. It will seem as if life is going in circles and we are getting nowhere.
Invest some time today to get perfectly clear what you want out of your life. It will be one of the most profitable investments you could make. It will not only help you take advantage of any good fortune in your life, it will help you reduce stress along the way.
What a perfect post for a Monday! While it may be true that Marcus Aurelius was not privy to some of the wicked substances we have today, he is certainly on to something here. All of us, myself included, are guilty of becoming slaves to our comfort. There are things we know we should do, but we do not because they cause us some discomfort. Yes, we should meal prep, but that takes time and effort. We worked all day and it would be far easier to throw in a pizza. We know we should work out, but eating that pizza and watching a little television certainly sounds a lot more comfortable.
Once in a while it can certainly be to our benefit to take a little take to ourselves. Here is the tricky bit, it can lead to quite a bit of time. I find this true with the gym in my own life. I love going to the gym. It helps me a great deal with stress more than anything. I know after a great workout, I will not only be less stressed, but I will have more energy in the back end. I usually go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week. There are times when something crops up that I miss a day. Do you know what seems to happen after that? Something else crops up the next day…and the day after that. Before long, it has been a week or two and I haven’t returned to the gym. Comfort becomes…well…too comfortable. I know that I will feel better if I go, but my mind and body have become used to the sloth it is engaged in.
The ironic part about comfort, is that it slowly ruins our life. It is in discomfort that growth occurs. Think of any area that you wish to improve in your life. It will take some discomfort and effort. Comfort can become a habit…a dangerously destructive habit. Do not become addicted to comfort. Become addicted to success and improving yourself.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 