Tag: Secret

AMAZING LIFE-CHANGING TOOL!

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In my books as well as my seminars gratitude is first and foremost on my list of tools that can change your life for the better. Still developing a grateful mindset can prove to be far more difficult than it sounds. In todays world a lot of the sources we are exposed to point out what is wrong, or even what could go wrong. So focusing on what we have, and what we can be grateful for can prove to be a good challenge.

I recommend people keep a gratitude journal. Simply write down at least five things you are grateful for that day and why. Do this right before bed and read them again upon waking. It has your mind focusing on what is working both as you drift off to sleep and as you start your day. This also happens to be the two times the mind is most available to suggestion. This is a great practice and can change your life in a very short period of time. I know because I use it myself and have experienced the difference.

Still there are days when you find yourself looking for things to be grateful for. Sometimes I look at my list and my mind goes blank. I know I have had a great day. I know there were things that happened that I could be grateful for, but what they are slips my mind. Sometimes I find myself repeating things on my list every couple days, which is not bad in itself, but truly each day presents its own gifts.

In this picture above I have found what I believe to be a great solution. Each day has a little prompt to help you think of what to be grateful for. This is good for both people who are trying to begin to develop a grateful mind and those of us who could use a little refresher. So today is the first of the month, I suggest grabbing the first question and answering it. You could print this out if you like or just refer back to this post. I suggest keeping your answers in a notebook where you can add a ‘why’ to each of your answers. Knowing why we are grateful for something makes it that much more powerful for us. So try this for 30 days and please feel free to leave your results, or suggestions for making this even more fun and productive in the comments below. Also feel free to share this with friends. Having a group of people all writing what they are grateful for can be far more fun than doing it alone.

2 LESSONS FROM THE GROCERY STORE

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This is Mr Pig. The mascot of Piggly Wiggly grocery stores. What does a grocery store have to do with living an amazing life? Two things really. First of all, what do most of us bring with us to the grocery store? If you said shopping list you are right. Why do we bring a shopping list? So we remember what we are there for and can get it in an efficient manner. What happens if we forget? We have to go all the way back to the store, or worse yet make something else for dinner. It is no wonder grocery lists are as important as they are. It gives us focus and reminds us what we are there for. What does all of this have to do with life? The same people who never forget their grocery lists are the same people who tell me they are too busy or do not need to write down their goals in life. So to recap  making sure we pick up apples is more important than reminding us what our main goal in life is? We all need reminders  in black and white of where we want to take our lives and why. It keeps us focused and on track. So I encourage you to write down the ingredients you need to live the life you want.

The second thing we can take away from the grocery store is this, pay as much attention to what you put in your head as you do your body. Diet and nutrition are a multi billion dollar a year industry. There are new diets popping up daily. Yet people who are so vigilant about not eating anything they deem bad for them still watch the news, or violent things on TV. They are not careful at all about what they put in their heads. What is the use of a healthy body if you are sad or depressed? The mind and the body are connected. I admire people who take care of themselves physically, but let us not forget about a mental diet as well. So next time you find yourself debating about buying organic, think about what you choose to put in your mind as well.

Please feel free to share this post with others and remember “Savings are big when you shop the pig”

 

THE SECRET TO WINNING EVERYDAY

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I am always on the lookout for secrets to building an amazing life, thus the name of this blog. So i study some of the greatest achievers of all time. Learn what they did. How did they accomplish their dreams. One such man was John wooden. Men’s basketball coach at ucla. Coach wooden won 10 ncaa championships, including an unheard of 6 on a row! How did he do it? In college you have a whole new team every 4 years. So how did he consistently get his players to win? The answer may surprise you. He never talked about winning to his players. At least not in terms of the score.  This is what he told them, if you give your all on that court and still are outscored by a more talented team you won. If you do not give your all but still beat an inferior team, you did not win.
Coach wooden understood winning is an inside job. Ask yourself are you giving your best? Whether it is at your job, as a parent, or as a spouse or even a friend. If you give your best and things don’t work out you are still a winner. If you are not giving your best and things are still going ok you at not a winner. So how does this thinking affect your life? If John Wooden’s teams are any indication, focusing on effort instead of score will bring you more victories

TALKING TO YOURSELF

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Take a look at the above phrases. Which do you use most often? Try starting at the 0% “i won’t” and say each phrase out loud. Notice how each makes you feel. Does one make you feel like you have no control while another makes you feel strong? Notice if your posture changes as the phrases do.
Now, take this exercise one step further. Say them out loud again, but this time pick a goal you are aspiring to achieve and put it after each phrase. Note how you feel about your goal after each one.
This should show you the power of your inner dialog.
So how can we put this to use for us?  Pick the phrase that makes you feel the most positive and powerful about your goal. Write it down. Now carry it with you and repeat it to yourself as often as you can. Try to do at least some of them out loud. Say it with conviction. It is very difficult to account for the often negative inner conversation we may have, but this goes a long way to counteract it. Try this for a week and notice how much better and in control you feel

IT IS WORSE THAN WASTING TIME

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I am a firm believer in the terrible effects of worry. Many things have been said about the practice of worry and I would like to share some with you now. Early on one of my favorite things I heard about worry is that it is like riding an exercise bike, you get really tired but do not go anywhere. Think of the productive aspect of worry, is there any? Another thing I have heard that I thought powerful was worry not only disturbs our present, but steals our future. It is true. If you spend your time in worry, you are taking time away from productive things you could be doing. The final two things I would like to share with you are this. According to Bob Marley, Complaining and worry are prayers to the devil. Also, worry is mentally rehearsing what we don’t want to happen. If you know anything about the law of attraction it is that thoughts become things, and if your thoughts are focused on that which you do not wish to happen you are giving that all of your energy.

Studies have proved that a full 90% of what we worry about are things we should not be. Things in the past that cannot be changed, useless petty worries and things of the like. So do yourself a favor, use worry to take all the action you can to prepare or address a situation and then let it go. You will lose that knot in your stomach. That feeling of dread and weight you carry around on your shoulders. Try to eliminate worry as much as you can this coming week and see how you feel.

HOW TO BE A SUCCESS EVERY DAY!

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I love this quote because it reminds me of something I often forget. A lot of us, myself included, are focused on becoming a success. Personally, I am always focused on reaching more people. This could be how can I have more people attend my seminars, how can I get my book in the hands of more people. Even while I am DJing or bartending I am focused on how to reach more people and inspire them and bring them joy.

This in itself is not a bad thing, but we must remember that true success, like abundance should be felt in every area of our lives. We need to pay as much attention to our personal goals as well as our professional goals. Are you wanting to be the best parent? The best spouse? Perhaps you are looking to become healthier? A better listener? A better communicator? Success takes work in a lot of areas in life.

This may seem like a lot to work on, but that is only half true. What do I mean by this? There are so many opportunities to achieve success. How does that translate to an effective life strategy? Simple, every day you have a chance to be a success. Maybe you were not number one on the bestseller list, but you really made your wife feel loved. You are a success. Maybe you ruined the diet you have been doing good on, but you taught your children a very important lesson.

What this all means is every day there are so many ways to succeed and so many things to feel grateful for. So let us all notice what we can improve on, but let us focus on what we succeed at. It will not only keep us wanting to do more of that, but also make us feel very good about ourselves and what we do for the world.

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!

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Who the hell are you? Chances are you had to stop a second and think of the answer to that. What did you come up with? Was your identity attached to your occupation? Was it defined by your family life? Perhaps you chose your faith to define who you are. It is amazing how little focus we spend on who we are. Even less on who we desire to become. Here is a great secret, you have power over that. What do I mean by this? Let me share with you a simple exercise I learned that can help us become the type of person we desire to be. First ask yourself who you wish to be. Keep it simple. One word answers. Come up with three. Once you get started it can be easy to keep going, but pick the 3 most powerful ones for you. By most powerful I mean the ones you really wish to be defined by. Perhaps you wish to be a driven person, but all you seem to drive is other people crazy. write it down. Maybe you want to be energetic, but the only energy you use is the batteries in the remote? write it down. Maybe you would just like to be a happy joyous person, but life always seems to knock you down. write it down.

So now you have a list. In our example it would be driven, energetic and happy Here is all you do, much like the questions from yesterdays post, in fact you can have them on the same sheet of paper, read these three words three times a day. upon waking, before retiring and at least once a day. In addition, read them whenever you seem to be off track. Feeling to lazy to change a channel and find yourself feeling like spending the day on the sofa? Read your list. The boss have you so mad you are seeing red? read the list. It is like reminding yourself of who you are. Not who you want to be, but who you are. It may seem like you are lying to yourself, but deciding who you want to be is a new practice for most of us and our brain may need a gentle reminder.

Again I encourage you to try this for 30 days. If you pair it with the questions from yesterdays post your life is on the fast track to positive change. In a month you will not even recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror! Please stop back and share your results

THREE QUESTIONS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

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I have three magic questions that will change your life in one month! That is a pretty bold claim I know. Here is how this works, if you answer these three questions three times a day your life will not be the same. Try it once when you wake up, once before you fall asleep and once…well whenever you want. answer three questions three times a day. How long will that take you? Five minutes? Maybe even less? What do you get by dedicating this little time? You will wake up more positive. You will be more focused during the day. Challenges will be easier to overcome. You won’t lose sight of what is really important.

Ok, so you are probably screaming at your computer or cell phone, wherever you read this fabulous blog. I would guess you are screaming “Neil, I want to change my life in the ways you describe. Tell me the damn questions already!” Fair enough. what are these magical questions? In short, I don’t know. Now, before you hit the delete button or become dismayed let me tell you who does know these questions…you. What craziness am I talking? Here is the simple plan. Pick 3 positive questions. Something like “How can I feel grateful in my life today?” “What can I be excited about today?” “What can I do to improve my future today?” You pick, whatever speaks to you. just make sure they are worded in the positive. Now ask yourself these questions in the method we described above, and do your best to come up with an answer or at the very least be on the lookout for one. Do this first thing in the morning and last thing at night plus one other time in between. Do this for 30 days and I promise you that your life will be dramatically different. Again, I challenge you to prove me wrong. Follow these directions to the letter and feel free to stop back here and share how it affected you.

IN OUR DARKEST DAYS

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Quite often we find ourselves in a situation we cannot see the good in. Why did this happen? Try as we might we are unable to see the light in the darkness. What to do then? Just accept the fact that life sucks at the moment? If you know anything about me personally I believe feeling what we perceive as negative emotions can be a great learning experience as long as we choose not to live there. So after some head scratching and maybe even a few colorful words what should we do? Take a look around. See what we still have in our lives that haven’t left us. Maybe it is our faith? Maybe it is even our job obligations? Sounds weird, but when we feel on the outside of life looking in, knowing that our job needs and expects us to be there can go from a burden to a blessing.

Here is another great thing to look at. Who is still there. We have all had moments in our lives when things are not going our way. The worst times I can think of is when we don’t live up to our own standard and let those we care about down. Take a look around and see who is still there. They always say you can only see the stars when it is the darkest. Ask yourself, who are the stars in my life? Who shines the brightest when I am at my darkest. be thankful for them. Use the down periods to be grateful for what is left, then focus on reclaiming what you want to be.

THE MAN IN THE MIRROR

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Here is a picture of me from my latest seminar. Why am I holding a mirror? I am discussing the most important person in your quest to reduce stress and increase joy in your life. Yes, it is the person in the mirror. The one your greet every morning. Some of you may think this sounds selfish, or even wrong. I have heard statements like “but Neil, I have children at home who need me, I can’t think of myself” or “I have to make sure my spouse is happy” I have even heard “I have to think of paying my bills before I can focus on making myself happy”

Really? Here is a secret, bills will always be there. Here is another thing to ponder, how can you fill a cup from an empty pitcher? Increasing your joy and reducing your stress will not only able you to increase the Quantity, but the quality of joy you give to others as well. It is very hard to lend a shoulder to a friend to cry on when yours are weighted down with the burdens of a stress filled life. In fact, taking care of number one, can quite often be the best way to take care of number two. When you invest in yourself and learn how to improve your own life you can pass that information on to others. So today let us spend sometime thinking about the person in the mirror and how we can improve their life.