Today is the first day of winter. Where I live winter lasts about 9 months. (a slight exaggeration) Personally, I do not do good with winter. If there were a poster for Seasonal Affective Disorder, it would have my picture on. This is made even more challenging as I write a motivational website. In my writings, I advocate giving yourself something to look forward to. This is why I normally plan a vacation around February. That is right around when cabin fever starts to set in and I am moments away from appearing on one of those crime shows. “Author goes crazy and commits terrible crime.” Knowing me it would be breaking into a puppy mill and setting all of the animals free or breaking into an adult toy store and filling all of the blow up dolls with helium and setting them free. I might want to save that last idea. This year, I bought a car and am saving for my wedding so there will be no vacation.
As I sit enjoying the day today, focus will be very important. Although this does begins months of gloom and cold, it is technically the shortest day of the year. That means it will begin to stay lighter longer each day after. My new car certainly takes a great deal of stress out of the equation and is always warm when I get it. This will make the season a little brighter. I will be working on my fourth book which should provide me a great distraction.
For my friends living in colder climates that do not enjoy such things, what secrets do you use to make it through the winter months? To me a white Christmas should involve a white sand beach. Curious as to what everyone does when the beach is not an option?
Boy what a week I have had! One of those weeks where you get to practice your character building skills. It is easy to be a positive motivating person when all is going well. It is when trouble shows up that positivity is put to the test. This week, there was both a large amount of snow followed by temperatures well below zero. For those of you who know me, these two elements alone would be enough to test my optimism resolve. Oh, but there was so much more.
On Saturday morning at 4am, when I am heading out to work the exhaust of my car was detached by driving over some snow. My mechanic is not open until Monday and so for the weekend I drove a vehicle that was loud enough to summon creatures from the underworld. Embarrassing, quite. What was worse was not being able to take it in. Alas, I did on Monday to discover it would be $653 to repair. Less than 24 hours later, my power steering decided to take a vacation somewhere warmer. Back to the mechanic and $250 later that was fixed. I was happy to have my car back. I drove to work without a concern. On the way home, however, there was another great warning light greeting me.
This, my friends, is the oil pressure light. It is not good news. Calling the mechanic as I drove, his response was, “That’s not good.” This was one bit of car knowledge I did already know. Today is Friday and the poor gent was on his way to a funeral. That means I will not be able to take my car in until Monday. This weekend, I had hope to run a few errands and just be able to transport myself from one place to another. I also work tomorrow and DJ on Sunday. These things are impossible to do without a vehicle.
As trying as this story may be, it is not the purpose of this post. In the middle of all of this chaos, I have still been able to go to work. My dear mother, bless her heart, picks me up at 4am and drops me off 30 minutes away. Keep in mind the temperature has been around zero degrees. Then she picks me up. We even had a 3 mile walk in the woods and a fun trip to the grocery store. Although the walk was a brisk one, as you can see in the photo below, it sure was some great exercise. This I am missing, as I have not been able to make it to the gym.
We go from colder than frozen, to really hot. You guessed it, I am talking about my lovely lady, Margie. This poor lady has had to put up with someone with Seasonal Affective Disorder, in the dead of winter, whose car keeps breaking down. She has done it all while making amazing warm meals to warm up my stomach and smiles and love to warm up my soul. Although we had plans to go out and enjoy each other’s company, we have had plenty of fun staying in. We watch a show on the Bahamas, which we plan on visiting next month. We also have read together and enjoyed each other.
In my life, there are people who have the ability to assist me a great deal who choose not to. Then, there are these two wonderful ladies who are super busy themselves, but give from their hearts. We often spend so much time trying to find ways to get even with those who have wronged us, or even those who have not helped us. This takes a lot of negative energy and leaves both parties drained. Can you imagine what life would be like if we only focused on getting even with those who have made our life better? We would be spreading love and appreciation to so many! I am so grateful to have so many souls that treat me so well. As I wait to decide how to proceed with my car, I will busy myself with getting even with these two wonderful ladies.
In life we all have many challenges. One of mine is the weather where I live. Especially in winter. It seems the older I get, the harder it is to deal with the cold and snow. This year, I vowed to make the best of it and try to maintain a more positive outlook. For a while, mother nature seemed on board with this. The weather was unseasonably warm, and the snow was slight. My attitude seemed to remained elevated. This was good news for my family and friends. I thought to myself, “Neil, you just might do it this year!” Then, mother nature had a wicked grin.
I leave for my day job a little after 4am Monday to Saturday. This morning I woke up to over a foot of snow. As I trudged my way to where my car was parked, I saw it also was covered in snow. Upon reached my car, I discovered it was more ice than snow. Nothing starts the day off right like spending ten minutes chipping ice off your vehicle just to climb inside. Once inside, I began to defrost the windows. Once they were clear, I headed out. Trying to focus on the fact I was grateful to have a vehicle that ran. The plow that went through left a small ridge of snow in it’s path. I had to cross it to get out of the parking lot. As I did my car erupted in a chorus of sounds. None of them were very friendly. It would appear the snow had damaged some vital part of the exhaust. This happened on a Saturday. My mechanic is not open until Monday.
Driving around with a car loud enough to wake the dead is embarrassing enough, but now the temperature, which was doing just fine, is going to drop to ten degrees below zero. This makes my loud car, should it start, quite necessary. It would appear that my resolution to maintain a positive attitude is receiving quite the test. I must remember that is what the world does. I refuse to let it get the upper hand. This is not done alone. My friend CJ jokingly reminded me that some kids are trying to make their cars louder, in essence, I just gave myself a free upgrade. My friend Kurt offered his mechanic. Of course my lovely lady and her smile will keep me warm on the inside. There are my self-improvement skills I not only teach, but practice myself, that will keep me humming along.
All of this serves to remind me that tests are a part of life. They give our resolve strength. They require us to change our focus on what we do have to be grateful for in order to make it through them. It also gives us a platform to demonstrate to others, by our example, that they too can make it through their challenges. When we embrace life’s challenges and put them to work for us, we grow. When we let them get us down, we become less of who we could be. I am going to do my best to grow from this challenge and I invite you to do the same with the challenges in your life.
It is the holiday season. “The most wonderful time of the year” as the song says. To many, it is one of the most difficult times of the year. It could be due to the pain they are feeling because they lost a loved one. It could be feeling inadequate because they are unable to afford gifts for everyone they wish to buy for. Maybe it is the stress of planning, attending and getting to all of the social obligations that come with this time of year. Whatever the stress is, there are not many of us who make it through an entire holiday season without some.
That is why I am sharing these 10 tips for reducing stress during the holiday season. Everyone should be able to enjoy that love and peace that comes with celebrating with family and friends. The important things are gratitude for what we do have. One of those is the last tip – the ability to help others. Making the holidays brighter for someone who is also having a hard time is not only the right thing to do, it makes you a superhero in my mind. It will also help reduce any feelings of sadness and depression you may be feeling.
Remember to treat everyone with a little extra kindness this holiday season. There are so many who are fighting inner battles that we know nothing about. If you have any tips that we can use to help us deal with the holiday stress and blues we might be feeling, please list them in the comments below. We can never have too many.
Ever have one of those days you are just in a funk and have no idea why? That is me today. I am not even sure what emotion I am feeling. Is it sadness? Not exactly. Is it frustration? A little. For someone who writes a motivational/inspirational blog, this can feel like a double failure. Then, I recall something I always stress in my books and in my writing here. The goal is not to be happy all of the time. Not only is this unrealistic, it will set you up to experience the feelings of failure more often then not.
Frustration. It is a little of what I am feeling. I kind of feel like the kid in the picture above. In fact, he actually looks a little like me when I was young. That’s a little creepy, but moving on. Often, frustration can be a gift. When we are frustrated, it tends to force us to get off our ass and take action to change whatever aspect in our life that is not working. What if you are not sure what exactly is bothering your spirit? This is the dilemma I am currently facing. I began to look at possible culprits. With my commute, I have been working 55 hours a week, Monday through Saturday at my day job. The overtime is nice, but could it be burnout? It is not the most inspiring place, could that be it? My fourth book has reached a point where I am not sure where to go. Is that the source of my frustration? Due to the previously mentioned work hours, I haven’t been going to the gym as often. That affects your mood. I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder and it is the middle of February. That cannot be helping.
Here I sit trying to figure out why there is a disturbance in the force as they say in Star Wars. It can feel impossible to address the issue, when you do not know the root cause. Still, I know there are things to do that can feed your soul. Focusing on what I have to be grateful for. My home life is peaceful. It includes the most beautiful and amazing lady ever. I have my health, for the most part. I do have a job, although not the most inspiring. I have written three books and over 1800 blog posts. I am working on leaving the world a better place than when I got here. Really, this is a first world problem. I have enough to eat. I have a house to live in. Clean water to drink.
Next, I thought about ways to help my own brain. The first thing that came to mind is that I stopped journaling. Getting your thoughts down on paper can be a great form of therapy. It can also clear out some space in your head. It may even help me discover the source of these unpleasant feelings I am having. Listening to, and doing more meditation can also assist you in clearing out your head. Need to do more of that. Perhaps using my ‘happy lamp’ can help chase away a little of the winter blues? Even writing about it has me feeling a little better. Planning time with the love of my life to do something fun couldn’t hurt either.
So, I am asking for your help. What do you do when you feel yourself in a funk? Especially, when you just can’t put your finger on what is causing it. Thank you all in advance for any suggestions you might have.
Where I live, there has not been a sunny day in weeks. For someone with Seasonal Affective Disorder, this can be a serious challenge. I am sure a lot of you in the northern hemisphere feel the same way. Those of you in the southern hemisphere…care to host a book signing?😉
Considering we cannot change the weather (trust me I’ve tried) I thought about what we can do to keep our spirits up during the cloudy weather 🤔. We have to not only bring our own sunshine, we have to be sunshine for others! That is what I am encouraging you all to do this week. Find ways you can be the sunshine for your friends family and even complete strangers!
How can we be sunshine for others? The possibilities are endless! We can post positive comments on other’s social media pages. We can send someone a card in the mail. Remember those? How about surprising someone with an inexpensive, yet thoughtful gift? Paying a sincere compliment to someone helping you in a retail environment?
I would love to hear any suggestions you may have to bring sunshine to others. The more we share here, the more we can make the world a sunny place! 🌞
For those of you has been following this blog for any time, or those who know me, realize winter is a tough time for me. I drive to work in the dark, drive home in the dark. For someone who loves the sun, this is tricky. Not to mention, we have not had a sunny day here in several weeks.
One thing I’m working on this year, is to find as many positive things as possible. Even though I write these blogs, trust me when I tell you there are many issues I’m working on too. Staying positive in winter is one of them. Today, while checking the weather on my phone, as you can see in the picture above, I noticed the sun had set a minute later! That means, the days will start to lengthen from here until June!
One minute certainly isn’t much, and you can see Friday it will be -2, but it is something. That’s kind of the secret to remaining positive. Finding the little light in the darkness. It is the flower growing in the crack in the pavement. It is the smile from a stranger on a tough day. Look for all the good you can in your own life. Remembering, quite often, the little things are the big things. ☺️
Anyone who knows me even a little, and most of you who read this, are aware that I do not like winter, the cold or anything associated with it. In my neck of the woods, everything looks dead and brown. As winter progresses, the snow turns grey and black with pollution and dirt. This means, everywhere you drive, you see dead brown trees. Dirty snow with brown grass underneath. These are not the most inspiring sights.
Any indication these things are on the way tends to dim my enthusiasm. So, when on November 1st, I see people putting up Christmas decorations I mumble to myself as I am driving by. That is until I read this picture above. It made me think how much putting up decorations may improve the mood of those doing it. In addition, their efforts bring light and a sense of joy to the afore-mentioned dark and gloomy atmosphere. I always saw winter decorations as a sort of harbinger of doom. I know, not very cheery for a motivational author. Living with Seasonal Affective Disorder in a state with 9 months of winter will do that to you. Now, however, I see them in an entirely different light. Pun intended. These decorations, while alerting me to the frosty temps and snow about to come, add a splash of color and cheer to a bleak environment. Some of them are even rather humorous.
I once heard Tony Robbins list in his grateful journal going to the movies. Some people grumble at the price of a ticket, which could be understandable. He told us to focus on something else. There were people who spent days, months and often years, not to mention millions (sometimes hundreds of millions) of dollars to create 2 hours worth of entertainment for you. Actors studied and practiced their lines. They spent countless hours on set, in make up chairs and more. Directors searched and tried countless camera angles and dialogue. Make up artists worked to get looks just right. Set designers. People in the computer graphics department. Writers and story board creators. Audio people. Lawyers. There are so many people involved it is crazy. Sit through the credits once and look at the people involved. Those are just the ones listed. There are countless others whose names did not make it on the big screen. The janitors who cleaned up after. The security who guarded the set. All of this so we could laugh, cry, scream or be held in suspense for a few hours. I had my own television show for a while. Trust me when I tell you, there is so much more that goes into creating content than you can imagine.
The one thing that changed my whole experience with both of these situations, and thus my level of joy and happiness, was a change in perception. When it comes to living an amazing life, is not joy and happiness what matters? Wayne Dyer once said, “When we change the way we look at things; the things we look at change.” I think this is true in both of these occasions. Next time you see a feature film, or your neighbors Holiday decorations, send them a thought of gratitude for their efforts to bring you joy. They are making our world a better and brighter place.
What a crazy week it has been! November in Wisconsin, the state I live in, can be one of the hardest months for me. To say that I am not a fan of cold weather is one severe understatement. My good fortune is that up until recently, the weather has been mild for this time of year. In fact, last Thursday the high temperature was 75 F. By the next day, the high temperature was only 40F. If you are keeping score at home, that is a drop of 35 degrees in one day. On top of that, I get home from work at roughly 2:40pm and today the sun set at 4:29pm. Not much light to enjoy which causes the energy levels to plummet. I even started wearing my winter coat.
All of this can really cause my mood to go south as well. This year, I am determined to keep my spirits up. I am going to really put into practice a lot of the things I teach in my first two books, A Happy Life for Busy People and Living the Dream. I am also exploring some new things such as daily use of a ‘Happy Lamp’ for artificial sunlight and creating a list of things that lift my spirits. This should help a great deal. Those of us in the Northern hemisphere could use a little lift and I am suggesting you approach it as a challenge. That is what I plan to do. I can’t change the weather, but I can find more and unique ways of adapting. If you have any other additional tips and tools to help keep my mood up as the sun stays down I would LOVE to hear them.
Above is a picture of the Mitchell Park Domes. They are 3 giant green houses, for lack of a better description. They are only a few miles from my house. They are an important part of today’s post. Before we get to what the 3 giant glass domes have to do with living an amazing life, let me share a personal fact with you. I strongly dislike the winters here in Wisconsin. It gets so cold some animals sleep through it, many leave the state entirely. Unfortunately, at this time, I am not an animal that fits into either category. Therefore, I must make certain adjustments. This post will focus around that. Just like a lot of what we learn here, it can be adapted to your situation.
The winters here also lack sunshine and things that are…well…alive. The trees look like dead sticks, all the plant life is brown and shriveled up. I don’t mean to sound negative, especially after last post about the power of positive thinking. These are facts and they can make it difficult for someone, like myself, that has Seasonal Affective Disorder. That is where the lack of sun and such throws your hormones all out of wack and can cause feelings of depression. This used to pose quite a challenge for someone who writes blogs and books about living an amazing life. Especially since winter seems to last roughly 9 months here. Then I began to put into action many of the things I learned and began to teach. I would love to share with you what I came up with for my situation, in hopes you can apply it to your own.
I realized one of the most dangerous things about Seasonal Affective Disorder, or any condition, is the feeling of hopelessness you can fall into. Although I am not able to move south for the winter just yet, I realized there are other things I can do. Plan a vacation to the sunny Bahamas with my beautiful Margie, like I am this winter. That helps. Let us face it a tropical vacation is not always in the cards. That is where The Domes, as they are locally known, fit into the picture. As you can see in the picture above, they have living plants all year! They must also have some kind of light that allows them to grow in the gloomy Wisconsin winter. Spending time in these places are like a mini vacation. We also have an amazing museum that has displays of places like Bali, Fiji and other tropical locations I would like to visit. I can at least escape mentally for the time I am inside the building.
Add to this things like coconut scented oils, shirts with the Jamaican flag, pictures of past vacations and many other ways to at least take me away mentally. I also was given a ‘Happy light’ that mimics the sun by Margie. I often use that when I write. Even a little time in front of it, helps my spirits stay up. Plus, I read and research on other things that might help. Taking Vitamin D, listening to ocean waves. There are many options to employ and more I am learning every day.
I encourage you to take the same approach to whatever life challenge you are facing. I realize that I am not able to change the weather and make the sunshine at will. What I can do is some of the things that I mentioned in the paragraphs above. I also use this ‘winter dread’ to motivate me to save for a vacation. Having things to look forward to makes challenges a lot more bearable. I would love to hear how you approach and prepare for the challenges you are facing. Oh, and if you happen to have more suggestions to make winter bearable for me, I am all ears!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 