TAKE A BITE OUT OF LIFE!

What is this a picture of? Some of you may say it is a picture of a sandwich with a bite out of it. True, but not exactly. It is much more than that. Let me tell you what this picture symbolizes. First, a little background on the picture. It is indeed a sandwich, in a plastic bag with a bite out of it. My lovely lady made me this sandwich to take to my day job which is with the United States Postal Service. She had it put in a bag along with a few other items.

Ok, so I know what must be on your mind at this point, why the bite? For those of you sensitive to romantic situations this would be a good time to stop reading. Although we have the great fortune of working together 4 nights a week and spending another working in the same building time apart happens far too often for our liking. This day we had a great morning working out at the gym together, we had went to a winter market a few days before and were just generally enjoying the time we were sharing. So my lady being as sweet as she is decided to help me save some time on my morning routine of getting ready. Which, I must confess often resembles the fury of activity and speed displayed by a Nascar pit crew, by packing me a lunch. That was a very sweet gesture and one that I did appreciate oh so much. Plus, it gave me a healthy alternative to the sugar filled junk in our lunch room.

So what on earth is with the bite already? Ok, here is the romantic thing. We both mentioned how we were having such an enjoyable time with each other that we found it particularly difficult to be apart that day. So after she made my lunch, she took a bite out of my sandwich so I would remember who made it. Ok, so yes it may seem mushy and overly romantic to some of you, but I found it rather cute. The point of all of this is that the littlest of things can mean the most. My mom used to pack me lunches on occasion when I was in school. It was very nice of them in both cases, but my lady went a little further. That little act of silliness and thoughtfulness stuck with me so much I not only took a picture, but I still think of it to this day.

So if you would like to increase the romance and little things in your relationship, feel free to share this with your partner and start thinking of little things you can do for them. You do not need to buy a new car or an expensive gift to have your partner fall in love with you (Although honey, if you are holding out on giving me a new car feel free) all you have to do is show them you thought about them and you care. Feel free to share this with anyone else you know, or on your social media page. Also feel free to leave romantic things that you and your partner do for each other in the comments below so other readers can try them as well.

LISTENING CAN BE YOUR SECRET WEAPON

Recently my amazing lady outdid herself by throwing me what you can see was one fun surprise birthday party. That by itself is sweet and impressive. In addition to writing this blog to express my sincere gratitude for her doing so, there is another reason. I am sure many of you have had parties thrown for you in your life and if not I sure hope you do. It is a great way to show those in your life that you care. Here is what I feel makes the lady in my life even more impressive. This party was thrown for me at my favorite place, the Wisconsin state fair. It actually happened while the fair was going on. She managed to speak to the owner of my favorite stand there which has a tropical theme with sand and a reggae band and rum. She even managed to get a hold of a lot of my close friends and family as you can see. She managed to go there and decorate without me knowing. This is hard to do because I am there every day. She did all of this without me knowing. Which, both of us working in the bar business is extremely hard to do.

Other than informing you what an amazing lady I have, what does any of this have to do with you? What is the lesson we can take away from all of this and apply to our lives? That is a great question. Here is what really impressed me about my lady and this party. She listened. She knew I loved the fair, which is not a great secret, but she also learned where my favorite place was at the fair. She listened to people I spoke about that I considered friends and made sure they received an invite. She put all of what she learned into action by reserving the both and decorating and even making very delicious cupcakes. All of these things made this a lifetime memory.

So here is my suggestion. If you want to have an amazing life, and if you want to blow your spouse, friends, boss or anyone else in your life away; listen. Not just before the event, but all of the time. That is what my wonderful woman did. She listens whenever I talk. Anyone who knows me can understand that is a lot of listening. By doing so she was able to discern a lot of information and used that to make me feel very special. So listen to everyone you come in contact with. You never know what you can learn and how you can use it to help them or make them feel good.

Once more, thank you Margie my love for an amazing party and a memory that will last a lifetime.

A TIME TO REFLECT AND GIVE THANKS

Today is one of the days of the year that presents more of a challenge than most. On the same day both the state fair, an event I look forward to all year comes to a close. In addition, my vacation from my day job is now over and summer which I so enjoy seems to be winding down. Every year this happens. I know it is coming and I try to find ways to make them not hit me all at once. One of the ways I have done this is to reflect on all the great memories I created at the fair this year. This year the lovely lady in my life threw me a surprise birthday party at the fair. A lot of my good friends and family were there. We had a blast. I saw a classic country artist with my sister, and a popular funk band with my beautiful lady and amazing friend. There were great new foods we tried and some fun things we have picked up.

Still, it is over now. I am full of memories, but soon it will be back to work. Soon the leaves will change, snow will fall and winter will be here. This is always a great challenge to my ability to remain positive and I am grateful for that. I am also grateful to the love of my life. Finding out quirky things about the ones we love is one of the more unique aspects of being in a relationship. If you have read my blog for any amount of time you are probably well aware there is lots of quirkiness to be had in this gentleman. My addiction and focus on attending a summer festival for 11 days straight is certainly one of them. We lost some time together and at times my focus was on watching a bird show and what new foods to try more than on ways to be romantic and loving.

So now that it is over how does this wonderful woman respond? A sigh of relief? A feel screams of “Amen!”? Those would certainly be understandable. Even “I am glad to have my man back” would make sense. She did none of those. The picture above is of a card she gave me when I came in to work late at a business we do together. She let me stay late because she knew it was the last day of the fair and wanted me to enjoy myself. So instead of being happy for all that will be better for her now that my fair addiction is over she gave me a get well card. I won’t share all of the details and heartfelt things she wrote inside. Briefly she let me know how much she understood how challenging this time period may be and how much she was there to love and support me through it. Trust me there was a lot more, but that is the general idea.

Here is what my lovely lady taught me in all of this. In times when things seem so overwhelmingly bad, when it seems like every little thing is going in the wrong direction that is the greatest chance to stand up and be loving. We, and by we I am including myself, can be guilty of the urge to run the other direction when our partners are in a funk or bad mood. My love reminds me that can be one of the greatest opportunities to show you care. In addition, for me it was one of the greatest moments I could feel loved and notice what an amazing life partner I had. So I just am going to take the next few days to reflect and be grateful. Of course pass along what comes to me here.

AN IMPORTANT ADDITION

Back to the discussion of my lady and I, seen in the picture above and what makes us such a strong and great couple. There is one essential element all good relationships need, and that is humor. Now whether your partner is more Jim Carey or Steven Wright does not matter. We all have our own version of humor and so does our partner. Understanding and appreciating that humor can be a great gain in any relationship, but especially in romantic ones. Quite often a humorous memory can soften the blow, or even help bring you back to love when a challenge or misunderstanding arises. So build humorous memories with your friends and loved ones. Taking pictures of them can add something special and help the memory last.
My only warning here is never to use humor at the expense of your partner. This can lead to resentment and a bad memory. Also avoid humor at the expense of others. Your partner may start to wonder what you say about them when they are not around. It also puts you in a negative light and opens the door to gossip which we discussed in the previous post.
So today’s homework, find ways to make your partner laugh and smile that will also bring you closer. Capture that humor anyway you can to use when needed.

WHAT TO WEAR

Those who know me in person know that I am not the definition of high fashion. Some may even say I am not the definition of low fashion. Yes, my clothing generally follows the axiom of ‘function over form’. That being said I did most recently even wear a dress shirt and tie to impress a lovely young lady. So why I am writing a relationship blog entitled ‘What to wear’ if I know little to nothing about fashion? Simple, the article I am going to tell you to put on is not an article of clothing at all, but will do far more for your appearance than the finest ball gown or Italian tie. So what is this thing that can so improve our appearance? Diamonds? Fancy jewelry? Expensive cologne? Actually no to all of those. In fact this item will not cost you anything. Enough teasing, let me tell you the answer, or more to the point let me use this quote to explain what I am trying to say.

“Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society” – William Thackeray

Is humor really that important? Yes. A good loving sense of humor can fill a relationship with many amazing things. Humor can take away the sting of a disagreement. Humor can lessen the pain of an accidental hurt. Humor can intensify love and half sorrow. So I implore of you to develop humor with your partner. Not humor of the biting sarcastic nature, but one of the fun and childish nature. Can you share a children’s joke like “What do you call a fish with no eye? fsh” Or even make up a silly word that only the two of you know that brings a smile to both of your faces? Recall moments that made you both laugh as often as you can. Always look for the joy and humor in life and in your relationship. A good sense of humor was in the top 3 of most desired traits of both men and women. Nobody likes to be with someone who doesn’t smile. So find some good jokes and always look for ways to make your partner laugh. Laughter and Love always make a good pair.

AN AMAZING LOVE

One area of our lives that has a great deal in deciding whether or not our lives are amazing is our relationships with others. This can be friends, family, coworkers or even strangers that we meet on the street. The relationship that has the most power to control our emotional well-being is that of our romantic relationships. So this week we are going to take a look at some inspiring quotes about love, of which there are plenty. Why are there so many quotes about the subject? The answer is rather obvious. There is nothing to keep a smile on our face and a song in our heart than new-found love. Of course nothing can bring us down quicker or sour our whole outlook on life than a disagreement with the one we love. Maybe you find yourself saying “My relationship is great I guess there is no point in me reading any of these posts”. Let me tell you a secret. In life everything is in one of two states, it is either growing or dying. If your relationship is not constantly improving it is slowly slipping away whether you realize it or not. I have had the unfortunate pleasure of experiencing this first hand. A relationship I had been in for quite a while had slowly turned into more of a friendship and roommate situation. By the time I realized how bad it had become all my efforts and study of successful relationships were not enough to save it. I am thankful we are still friends, but even more so I am thankful for the important lessons it has taught me going forward and for my next relationship.

Like many of us when I saw a part of my life going down the drain I panicked. Out of that panic came something great, however. I threw myself into studying every method on how to save and create a loving relationship. Everything from Tony Robbins, to Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus programs. While it was too late to save the relationship I was in I managed to pull some terrific bits of information that can help any relationship no matter what state it is in. If your situation is on ‘life support’ you have no time to lose. Start following these tips right away. If your relationship is doing well, it is time to take it to another level. Experience the love fairy tales are made of. If your somewhere in between it is time to add some love and joy to your relationship with your romantic partner.

A special word to my male readers. This will not be all about flowers and chocolates, although those two items seldom go unappreciated. It is also not all about turning you into a man who spends all day reading romance novels and watching a chic flicks. These tips will actually make you more of a man by increasing the love and commitment you have from the lady in your life. So let us all look forward to the journey ahead. For the ‘secret to an amazing life’ must certainly include an amazing love life as well!

WHO? WHAT? WHERE? WHY?

“It matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love, or how you love, it matters only that you love”

-John Lennon

A few months ago I had written about a class reunion I attended. I’ll spare all my friends and myself the year for purposes of imagining I am still young. After that a group of us wished to continue to get together. I invited a few people and one in particular was greeted with much chagrin. “Why did you ask him along? He is always such a jerk to everyone?” was pretty much the general consensus. I admit this gent was not the most enduring fellow and I could understand why people may feel as they do. Then I began to think, should we only show love and kindness to those whom we feel have earned it? True a seed grows the best in fertile soil, but is a garden not most appreciated in the city? I once heard a saying that I am about to totally screw up but the idea went something like this “If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours they need it more than you do” In an earlier post I had written about two of my friends Kim and Stephanie who do so much for others I am often compelled to let them know that they are truly angels without wings. They usually accept these compliments as well as the ones they receive from others with modesty and grace befitting the wonderful people they are. Their kindness comes naturally and so quite often is taken for granted, so I find it important to stop and appreciate it. I know my life would be a lot less without them in it. Still I have a few people on the opposite end of the spectrum. They do not seem to do much for others, or show much concern for anything that does not serve them. As a general rule I do not have many of these people in my life, but I have learned a new an interesting thing about these people. Sometimes they have some of the greatest response to compliments out of anyone. Just the other day I was having breakfast with one of these people and had mentioned I was really happy to hear of a nice thing he had done for a mutual friend of ours. Just the mere act of being recognized as a kind person seemed to improve his disposition and foster a new sort of altruistic side of him as soon I discovered he had done the same favor for 3 other of our friends. My point is this, we all have a wide array of different people in our lives. Some kind and deserving of our love, some not so much and several in between. Show them all a little love. The ones who deserve it are often taken for granted for all the amazing things they do and a little appreciation and love will let them know it makes a difference and will make it easier to continue being the people who bring so much to our lives. Those who seem not to be deserving of any love, perhaps just a little will soften their hearts and bring the biggest change. So like the famous singer of the Beatles said “It matters only that you love” I encourage you to pick at least one person from each group this weekend and show them a little love. You always benefit by brining more love into the world.

ONE SECRET KEY…

In life there are many tips and tricks we can employ to assist us in living a better life. Among these there are the few secret keys that can have a radical effect on several areas of our life, but changing just one thing. Today we are going to discuss one of these. The funny thing about these keys is they are often deceptively simple. How would you like a trick that could make every business meeting more productive? Every moment with a friend or loved one more enjoyable? Every difficult situation go a little more smoothly? Of course you would. Who wouldn’t? not anyone reading a blog like this one I am sure. Here is this key, simple and to the point – a sense of purpose – Now what do I mean by a sense of purpose? Decide ahead of time what you want out of any situation. Perhaps you have to make a call to apologize to a friend you may have upset. Before you dial the number take a second to decide what it is you want to solve in this phone call. Do you wish to convey that fact that you feel terrible about hurting this person’s feelings? Do you wish to find a plan for the future so this doesn’t happen again? Or is your goal to just repair the friendship at all costs? Repeat your goal over and over in your mind for several minutes before you actually call. Perhaps you may even wish to write it down so you can have it in front of you? Then while you are in the middle of the conversation you thoughts and words are directed to your desired outcome. If the conversation starts to get off track, think of your goal and how you can steer it back.

Now this does not only have to be a ‘problem solving’ issue like stated above. It can work wonders in almost every other area of your life as well. On your way home from work, decide what you desire out of the evening with your spouse or family. Is it to convey your gratefulness for their love and support? Is it to show them that they are loved? Or is it simply to avoid screaming at them in frustration? The last one is kind of a joke, as you know from former posts I am always insistent on stating things in the positive. Especially goals! Now think of instead of dreading going into that boring work meeting you say to yourself, “What do I wish to get out of this meeting?” decide on that and the meeting may take on a whole new look. Say you are meeting your friend for coffee or dinner just to be social. Think of what you may wish to discuss with this friend. Do you wish to inquire on the health of their family? Let them know how grateful you are that you are friends? Perhaps even encourage them to finish that book they have been writing. That last one may have been a hint for my friends. now, the point here is if we enter any situation with a clearly defined desired outcome it may make fun times that much more enjoyable and the hard times a little more bearable. The point here is not to obsess. you do not have to have a goal for going to the bathroom other than the obvious, or for enjoying a rum and coke, which for me is rather obvious as well. Just try to add a few more into your life and you will notice how quickly your life can improve!

SMILE

“Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love”

Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa has always been a great source of inspiration to me personally. Her service to people most of the world would rather ignore is to me the definition of compassion. Like other aspects of her life, this quote gives us a great way to bring light and love to the world. A lot of people ask me “what’s the big deal with a smile?” I always tell them, if you feel a smile is no big deal then why not share one with everyone? Let’s be honest, can’t you remember at least one time when you received a smile at a most unexpected time? Maybe from a stranger? I must confess to being guilty of not sharing my smile as often as I should, but when I do, it never fails to amaze what doors it opens. I have made more new friends with a smile, then with most anything else I can imagine.

A HAPPY CD

This little project takes a few minutes, but to be honest can offer years of rewards. Everyone, no matter how positive or enlightened has a bad day. Just the other day I was informed my job may be eliminated. It happens, sometimes outside circumstances throw us for a loop. What to do then? There are steps we can take to ‘soften the blow’ of these less than cheery days. Working with either your gratitude journal, or vision board is far more effective when you are in a positive state of mind. So I strongly suggest in being proactive and having several tools ready for days when we are just not on top of our game, for whatever reason.

Music has a strong influence over how we think and feel. Everyone has different tastes. In fact, my sister and I regularly debate the merits of different musical artists. Weather you like rock or country, jazz or hip-hop, there are songs we all enjoy dancing to and that make us feel happy and alive. Now I’m not talking about just songs like “Don’t worry, be happy” although if that works for you, use it. One of my favorite is “Toes” by Zac Brown as it makes me think of a tropical vacation. Whatever your taste, take time to compile a list of all the songs that inspire you. This can be done in an afternoon or over several days. Then either burn them all onto a cd, or add a playlist to your favorite mp3 player. My only caution is to avoid songs that contain angry or negative lyrics. Not to say that music does not have merit, I certainly find some to be great for working out to, but in this case keep it happy and uplifting. Then when sad, angry or anxious feelings come knocking, as they do for us all, you have an hour or so of music that can alter your state. Now I am not saying this will fix or even change whatever is the cause of your feelings, but it can but you into a better state to deal with them. Combine this with some of the other tools we have listed or that are yet to come and you will conquer whatever life will throw at you! Stay strong, stay positive my friends!

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: