This is one of those post that do not seem like should have to be written. For most of you reading a site like this, they don’t. Not that long ago a coworker was lamenting to me the difference between two religious groups. “Why can’t the one just understand their religion is the wrong one?” he asked. You may already guess which group his beliefs line up with. I inquired if it had ever occurred to him that the other group may just as fairly ask the same question. “No, of course not because their beliefs are wrong.” He made this statement while looking at me as if I was being willfully ignorant. When I encountered as to why his beliefs were correct and they other group was not, he said because his religion said so.
I would imagine whatever faith you belong to, they have a vested interest in convincing you that it is the one true religion. It is certainly ok for someone to think and have a strong conviction that is the case. What is not fair is to go around judging others who feel the same about their beliefs. If we do our research, I am sure there are belief systems that are older than ours. There are ones that may be followed by more people. Our faith is largely determined by our geographic location and that of our ancestors. It would make sense that people who live in a different part of the world may have different beliefs. Do you know what? That is ok. As long as we teach our children, both by words and actions, that treating all people with dignity and respect is what matters most.
Do not be blind to the fact that others have an equal right to have a belief and conviction in their faith as do we. It very well might be different and that is ok as well. What is not ok is to treat each other harshly or even violently over those differences. You can have respectful differences and still love your neighbor. That is part of what being the best version of yourself is all about.
How simple would this change be? Smiling more. Working to the see the good verses seeing the bad in people. Doing random acts of kindness. It would not be that difficult at all. Something everyone could do. It doesn’t take any money. It really wouldn’t require anymore effort than it takes to see the negative.
Can you imagine if just half of the 8 billion people on the planet did that? How about if all 8 billion people did it just half of the time? It is not a difficult concept.
Think of some examples. Sports. Can you imagine opponents giving compliments instead of trash talking or putting each other down? Even just half of the time. How about politicians?What if they attempted to see the good in each other just 50% of the time? That may inspire their followers to do the same. Here is one we might not think of –religion. Can you imagine if faiths preached acceptance and compassion for those of different faiths? Again, just half of the time. Imagine the difference that would make in the minds of their followers?
This doesn’t have to be some crazy fantasy. It can happen. If you are an athlete, politician or person of faith, use your position to put forth these ideas. Tell those in power you would like them to do so. Most importantly, be an example of it in your own life!
If the world can be summed up in one word right now, that word might be division. It is no wonder as there are many people who would benefit by having us working against each other and not paying close attention to what they are doing. People working together and having meaningful dialogue can pretty much solve most problems without the interference of some form of leadership. So, to keep their positions of power, they do their best to convince us that we are all evil. That is simply not so. While it is true there are people whose intent and motives are of the more questionable nature, I think if you look hard enough you will find them in all groups.
The picture above demonstrates a very important point when it comes to the faith we follow. There are many examples where I am hearing people belittle other faiths. These comments come not only from the congregation, but from behind the pulpit as well. As you can see by glancing the picture above, we all have some pretty basic things in common. One day I may very well write and entire book on the subject. Sure, some of the finer points we disagree on, but that should not stop us from pursuing peace and compassion in a world so bereft of it.
How many more problems could we solve if we focused more on what we had in common and were more accepting of what makes us different? People are good and people are not so good. Being a member of a certain group, faith or ethnicity does not make that so. It is what is in their heart, the words they speak and the actions they take.
In some of the most divisive areas of life, this is the rule of law. Think politics, religion and social norms. More focus needs to be put on the nine. That is the solution. In math it is to see that there are multiple solutions to the same problem. In life, our beliefs can cloud us from understanding that other courses of actions have their merit as well.
Take the current political landscape. No matter what side you fall on, there is a rather “Us against them” mentality. Even if the goals are the same, which they often are, there is still extreme resistance to any opinion other than the one we hold. There are no solution oriented discussions. Think public safety. Everyone would like the world to be a safer place. Instead of focusing on solutions, they just spend energy and effort arguing that their method is not only the best, but the only way in which to accomplish this. By making the other side look like a villain, it prevents any merging of ideas, which could offer the best solution.
Religion is another area in which it is ‘my way or the highway’. Considering most of the faiths preach love, compassion and acceptance, it always seems ironic that most are filled with judgement, anger and exclusion. Faith is supposed to be our rock in difficult times, our way to inner peace and our guide in how to treat each other. Let us focus on that instead of the differences in how we go about that. We can all pray, if we do it differently who cares? We all preach love, let us all demonstrate it as well.
These are but two examples in a world full of possible situations. Think of the math equation that started this post next time you are ready to judge someone else. Just because they are different than you does not mean they are incorrect.
It is Sunday, so we will not have you read too much. Plus, the picture above pretty much says it all. We do not need a specific belief or dogma to be good people. We need to simply live with compassion and a respect for other’s human dignity. I would extend that to other living things as well, but that is a subject for a different post. That is not to say you should not follow a faith. If you have one that helps foster these basic characteristics, that is fabulous! If someone else has a different faith that helps then foster these same traits, that is fabulous too!
I think as humans we have a tendency to over complicate things. This includes our faiths. We also seem to like conflict. If someone has different dogma or rituals than us, but that person is a good human, that’s great! We should not care if they worship in a different way or on a different day. The question we need to know is, “Are you a good human?” If the answer is yes, the rest is really none of our business. Treat others how you wish to be treated. Even if they don’t do the same.
When I saw this quote, it sure made me chuckle. It did get me thinking about how many groups we belong to. Whether we voluntarily join them, or in the case of Wally World, are forced to become a part of them. Here is the cool thing about it. The more groups we recognize that we belong to, the better off we are. When we only think about one group, say a political or religious affiliation, and define ourselves solely by that, we create division. “That person is X and I am a Y.” However, if we see that person stuck in the self-checkout waiting for a human to come fix their transaction, just like us, suddenly they become more familiar.
With the advent of the internet and other such technologies, the world is becoming smaller than ever. I can turn on my television in the United States and tune into a Ugandan television station. We can go on social media and chat with someone halfway around the globe. You often hear me mention my friend who reads this blog in Italy. He is an Italian, married to a Filipino woman. I am an American attached to a sweet French, English, Irish (among other things). We could point out many differences. You know what I notice? We are both gentleman with impeccable music tastes that are interested in bettering ourselves, exploring the natural world around us and creating a great relationship with our ladies.
In any situation, we can find many differences among us. We can also find many different souls in one of the groups we find ourselves in. It is ironic how foreign a person and their ideas may seem until we find that common ground. Even challenges, such as a medical condition, can bring us in the company of others we may not think about otherwise associating with. Next time you are tempted to discount another person based on their political beliefs, sexual orientation or religion, remember, they may be at the Walmart Self-checkout just like us.
I love this quote by Leo Tolstoy. So often we are tempted to complain about the world and the state that it is in. Whether we are foolishly blaming a political party or race of people for the world’s trouble, or just venting out loud, we are missing the point. *spoiler alert* no political party, no matter how much we dislike them, gets together to figure out how to destroy the world. *spoiler alert 2* No race, culture or religion is filled with evil people whose soul focus is to destroy your way of life* These are just brainwashing techniques used to keep you in fear so your mind and emotions can be controlled.
If there is no specific “us against them” to rally against, how can we change the world? He is a short answer – we can’t. Here is a second short answer – we should not. Here is what I mean. In any relationship, you should never Focus on changing the other person. This is why many marriages fail.They have the right to live as they see fit and so do you. Expanding that to our global community, people have the right, so long as they are not directly harming others, to live, love and worship as they see fit. It is not on job, nor our responsibility to change them just because we do not agree with them. Just as we should not have to conform to their ways either.
If we can’t, nor should, change others, how can we change the world? Take advice from Mr. Tolstoy. We change ourselves. That is all we have complete control over. This works to change the world in 2 ways.
First, we lead by example. Parents, this especially true for you. Children may rarely listen to what you say, but they will always watch what you do. It is not just Parents that have this responsibility. We are all being watched everyday. Especially in this world of social media and everyone walking around with cameras in their pockets. Make sure your actions positively inspire others. A great question to ask yourself is, “Would I be happy if everyone acted like me?” Before you are quick to think of how great that would be, stop and consider your faults. Would we like everyone to judge and insult based on religious or political affiliation? Would we want everyone to be quick tempered? To drive without using their turn signals?
The other way changing ourselves works to change the world is even more powerful, in my opinion. That is the law of reciprocation. You may have heard it stated as “whatever you sow, you reap” or “what you do comes back to you” However you word it, what we put out into the world becomes part of the world. If we are judgemental of others, the world becomes more judgemental. If we are harsh with our words, the world becomes a colder harsher place. This is the key to positively transforming the world.
Whenever we love others, we make the world more loving. When we stand up for the repressed and abused, the world becomes less tolerant of those behaviors. Whenever we allow those we disagree with to live as they see fit, the world becomes more loving and accepting. The only way we can truly do this is one person at a time, and that person is us. The only way we can change the hearts of the masses, is to first change our own. As Leo Tolstoy said, the only way we can change the world is by changing ourselves.
Running in packs sure can have its advantages. Just ask wolves. Their cooperative hunting strategies have allowed them to flourish and be more successful. They same can be said for those of us working on team projects. It certainly can come in handy in our spiritual faith. When we feel that faith faltering, it can be our ‘pack’ that can lift us up. How about our friends and family? That can be an amazing pack! They can check on us and have us feeling loved and cared about. They can also be a great source to lean on when we are down.
Where packs can turn from an asset to a detriment, is when we allow the pack to do our thinking for us. This seems especially true in both politics and faith. As we described earlier, the latter can help us a great deal. I am not sure about the former, but I digress. I have seen, in my own family, people leave their own family behind for no other reason than their faith was different. It is important to be able to step back from the pack, on occasion, and think for ourselves. If your pack is asking you to believe, and act in a certain way, it is ok to question that way. It does not make you a ‘bad’ member of the pack. In fact, you could be the one to lead the pack in an entirely different direction. You can still make good use of the pack, and be able to think and act on your own.
It can certainly be tempting to allow our thoughts and actions to be influenced by the pack. It is something we must stand guard against. If your pack infers, or outright says, that people of a certain group should be avoided, or worse looked down upon, because they are different, ask yourself if that is what you truly believe. In a word that seems to be growing more divided by the day, it is our pack of humanity that must learn to work together. Just like the wolves, we will survive and be more successful if we do.
Daily we are greeted with messages of division. Some days they seem to be downright violent in their nature. It is messages of extremes delivered by one side or another. It gives us three very false impressions. The first is that you have to choose “One side or the other” You can’t be a little of this, or a little of that. With just a few seconds of logical thought, we can realize this is not true. In today’s world, which thanks to technology is growing more mixed and smaller than ever, people are a mix of a whole bunch of different things.
That brings us to the second false claim these stories and groups are putting out there. That most people belong to one of these “2 sides”. It is if people are made to feel guilty for having feelings that can understand and see and issue from both points of view. Here is a news flash for some of you – you can agree with parts of one side of and issue and parts of another side. In fact, if you do, that is a sign of open-mindedness and critical thinking. Seldom, if ever, is an issue black and white. Despite what you hear, you do not have to be on one side of an issue or another. You can choose the space in between and not only understand, but give respect to both sides.
That brings us to the last bit of misinformation those in certain circles would like us to believe – that if you disagree with someone you have to hate them or at the very least view them as if they were the enemy. This is not only obviously untrue, but ask yourself what we stand to gain by thinking this way. By making enemies of those who could have been friends with just a little bit of compassion and understanding. Ask yourself another important question, who stands to benefit by us being divided and working against each other? It brings more stress into our lives and reduces the amount of people we can share with. So, who does benefit from us being divided?
From now on I challenge you to stop being a sheep and believing that we must remain divided. We are far more powerful when we work together. How can we accomplish this? I will give you a few examples and I would love to hear more from you. In something as simple as sports we can try this. If you meet up with friends who cheer for a different team than you do (yes this is actually allowed in life) If your team wins, be gracious enough to say “Your team played a good game.” Maybe even mention a few things that they did well and wish them better luck next time. This works a lot better than mocking them and gloating about how good your team is. If your team loses, remember it is just a game. Congratulate them on their teams victory. In that contest, they were obviously the better team. Keep in mind this is just a game. It should be a chance to gather together and not say mean or hurtful things. Once again, nobody wins in that scenario.
Politics is an area that people are really getting after each other lately. To me, this is one of the most foolish. Do you know who benefits when we label each other as “Crazy” or “Evil” because our politics differ? Those politicians that seek to push their agendas by dividing us. The problem is not that neighbor Bill voted for someone different than you and has a different view of the world. The problem is that instead of seeking a middle ground and a solution that will benefit all people, we are told we have to be divided and only one side can win. When we do this we lose. We lose friends, we lose a good amount of peace and joy in our lives. We may even have families torn apart. As a parent or teacher we would never tell children that they should call the other kids they disagree with nasty names, but that is exactly what grown adults in the political arena are doing. What do we teach children? That is ok to be different and that we all have to find ways to play nice together, This is a message that we should deliver to those in power.
Lastly, there is religion and faith. This is so important in the lives of many. Our faith can be what gets us through the toughest times. Yet, just like politicians, certain religious leaders would prefer we view those who differ in their form of worship as “The enemy” or “Sinners”. Turning people we love, or those that we see do a lot of compassionate and loving things for the world as ‘the bad guys’. In mind mind, this is nothing short of stupid. When I hear of someone who enjoys a ritual that is different than what I may do, this is what I say. “Oh, that’s cool.” It doesn’t mean my beliefs are wrong or that theirs are better or worse than mine. It is just that they have found a different way to deepen their faith which will ultimately make them a better person.
Don’t be a sheep and follow what certain members of the media and those in power are telling you. We do not have to be divided. Those who are different than us can still be right and so can we. Be a lion. Show what love and compassion can do. Show what working together we can make the world a far better place than working against each other. Realize that in your own life, love and compassion for those who differ than you can bring you more peace and less stress. Awaken the lion within you.
This site does not often touch on different spiritual beliefs. I believe that living an amazing life includes a spiritual aspect, but that aspect is a personal decision. As long as your path does not involve bringing harm to anyone else and includes becoming the best version of yourself it should not matter to me or to anyone else what that path is. Here is a great secret – the same holds true for the beliefs of others. There are some of us who feel that anyone who does not adhere to the exact same spiritual beliefs that we do is someone who is wrong or in the worst cases, an enemy. This creates not only undo stress, both in the party receiving the angst, but in the life of the people who carry these beliefs. Imagine going through life thinking everyone is wrong or your enemy? Very stressful. It also limits the opportunities for growth and collaboration. When you think someone is wrong on any level, it can be hard to include them as much, even in another level.
Today’s post is to remind you that people can be different without being wrong. Judgement drains a lot of energy and focus from our lives. On the contrary, acceptance and understanding can free up energy and create new and exciting opportunities for growth and collaboration. Accepting someone does not mean we agree with them or that we are even going to join them in their endeavors. If we focus on how we are alike instead of how we are different, we can do great things. It may be hard to both understand and accept someone who is different, but if we focus on the things we have in common it can do a lot to both bring us closer and to learn from each other. When I go out with my friends who are different faiths, they may dress different, eat different things and have different views, but they have many things in common.
The other day, I had lunch with two friends. One is Christian and one is Muslim. At one point, the topic turned to faith. I was interested to see how this might play out. They discussed their different ways of offering prayers and why they do what they do. They also came to the conclusion that they both do it for the same reason, to become more spiritually enlightened and to become closer to the God they follow. One said to the other, “Funny how a conversation can bring us so much understanding when according to the outside world we are supposed to hate each other.” They chuckled, as they had been friends for years. I thought of the sad truth of that statement. The media, politicians and even some religious leaders, keep our differences as talking points and what is most important. I think we can learn a great deal from each other if we only open our hearts and our minds.
One of the things that all spiritual paths have in common, that we can focus on today and share with each other, is the power of gratitude. All spiritual paths focus a great deal on being grateful. There are prayers of thanksgiving in any faith. I think beginning a practice of including one of those before we retire for the evening can work miracles in our lives. If we can also add being grateful for those who may be different than us, it can go a long way to opening our hearts and minds when we are awake. What is right for us, does not necessarily have to be right for everyone else. Last night, my mom, Margie and I were discussing our dream cars. Guess what? they were all different. None of us argued that the others should switch their car to ours. They liked their car for their reasons as we did for ours, and that was ok. We could listen unattached to why someone might like the car they did and even appreciate why without feeling as though they should change their minds and agree with us. Why can’t this be done with more personal things such as politics and religion? I do understand that there has been, and in some cases remains, persecution of individuals based on these categories. This is completely unacceptable. The truth is, this can only be changed by learning to accept, understand and love each other with open hearts and open minds.
Learning to accept and enjoy those who are different than us will not only create a more amazing life on the outside for all of us, it will create a more amazing life inside of our hearts. We will live life with a far greater peace of heart and mind than if we viewed everyone who is different as wrong or as our enemy. Let us all work on opening our hearts and minds and let us all end our day with a grateful heart. Not only for all that we have in our life, but for those who are different than us who can teach us so much and bring color and contrast to our world.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 