Tag: Relationships

NEVER STOP DOING THIS!😮

People ask me what things I do daily that makes a difference in my life. There are a few, but 2 of them I would like to share with you. I cannot urge you enough to add these to your own life. When you hear what they are, you might wonder if I, and more importantly you, have to do them every day. I would respond with a question of my own – Do you really want an amazing life? Do you want less stress and more joy and fulfillment? Do you want to love deeper and laugh more often? Then yes, than you should absolutely do these 2 things every day. You can even do them several times a day, if you are very driven and ambitious. That is not necessary, but will speed up any improvement you will experience.

Just like the picture at the start of this post says, these are small improvements. They are of the 1% variety. You may not think they will make much of an impact or difference. Again, like the picture above, 1% everyday over the course of a year really adds up. It is not, however, 365%. If you know about compounding interest, you are improving 1% on someone who is 1% better than yesterday, so it compounds. Over the course of a year, you will end up 37 times better! All from making small, almost imperceptible shifts once a day. That is a lot of return for not a lot of effort.

Secret number one to creating an amazing life is listen to or read a little something that will help you improve yourself everyday. This doesn’t have to be an entire book. It can be something as simple as a YouTube video. Keeping yourself inspired and motivated is not a one-time event. Zig Ziglar said it best, “People say motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” You can listen in your car. You can wake up 15 minutes before the rest of the house to read a few pages of something inspirational. You can listen to an audiobook on your morning commute. There is always time to sneak something in. I cannot convey in words strong enough what a difference this has made in my life. Do not take my word for it. Prove it to yourself. For just one month, listen or read something everyday that inspires or motivates you. I challenge you to prove this to yourself.

The second secret? You guessed it. Learn something, at least one thing, everyday. This can happen in so many different ways. The world and its experiences are teaching us something all of the time. What makes this even more powerful, is if you do some focused learning. Pick a subject that is very important to you and add to your base of knowledge about it. Today, I decided that I should listen to some videos that offered ways in which you could improve your intimate relationships. Now, I think I am a fairly good man to my beautiful Margie. I actually work very hard to be so. That does not change the fact that I do not know everything. If I could improve my wonderful loving relationship by 1% a day for 365 days, how loving would we be? You can spread this knowledge growing around to several subjects. One day it could be videos about improving your relationship. The next day, an audiobook on the way to work about how to increase your self-discipline. The following day? How about a book of parenting tips? The word is full of knowledge to be gained. Even a little bit everyday will make a huge impact.

People ask me if they really have to do this everyday. My answer? No, you have the gift of opportunity to do this everyday. You don’t even need to spend any money. There are resources online, not mention a library in almost every city with thousands of books. Can you imagine having the knowledge of just 1% of those books? Can you picture the positive impact that would have on your life? These are 2 things that I do, without fail, every day. The difference in my life cannot be understated. Do it today!

SCARCITY CAN BE YOUR POWER!😮

Scarcity is something I normally would not recommend focusing on. After all, where focus goes, energy flows. Today, we are going to have an exception for this. Today we are going to find out how to use Scarcity to help us live an amazing life.

The picture above, which would be a personal nightmare for me, shows when there is only one piece of pizza 🍕 left and several hungry people, it becomes more valuable. The same can be said of so many things in our life. A depreciating supply results in an increasing value. You should probably read that last line again.

Margie and I have conflicting feelings on several topics. That’s what keeps the spark in our relationship sometimes. One of those is the ticking sound of the clock. I find it soothing. Margie, on the other hand, says that it reminds her that her life is ticking away. That is literally true I suppose. Everyone of those ticks of the clock is a moment in time we shall never have back. She is also right about something else. Everyone of those ticks is also bringing us ever closer to our end.

Many people cannot bear this thought and do their best not to think about it. By doing so, it is my firm belief they are leaving one of the best motivators on the table. Yes, everyday the grim reaper gets one step closer. It is my hope for all of us that he is a very slow walker, but we never know. He could catch us in 20 years, one year, or tomorrow. Knowing that any day could be your last should motivate you to make it your best.

I’m hoping we are all taking care of our mind, bodies and spirits. Maybe we are not to concerned about our end approaching. There is one very important thing that Margie can remind us of. The most valuable asset we have in our life is a depreciating asset. That is time. In essence, our life is a depreciating asset. As we discussed earlier, this makes it ever more valuable. Like the pizza, every day we have one slice less.

To many this could seem doom and gloom, but it shouldn’t. Let me share with you what I thought of when I heard this. My mind, as it often does, thought of Margie. I always remind myself that on any given day, it could be my last opportunity to tell her that I love her and remind her how beautiful she is. That is why not a day goes by where I do not do that. Hearing her thoughts on the clock and thinking about the disappearing pizza made me realize two things. One, that it is national pizza month and I could really go for a slice. Two, and more important, is that our time together is depreciating. That means with every second that ticks off the clock, there is one less opportunity to say “I love you” to each other. That also means, every time that we do so, each one becomes more valuable because there is less of them left! Think of that when hugs, kisses, and “I love you” begins to become taken for granted.

All these thoughts are not limited to romantic relationships. It could be one less second to teach your children valuable life lessons. One less second to share your gifts with the world. One less second to be mindful and take in that sunrise you are enjoying. Life, our life, is a depreciating asset and every second it becomes more and more valuable. Next time you hear a ticking of a clock, or watch a second hand moving around, or the minutes pass by on your cell phone, remember this. Use it to motivate you into making the most of your every more valuable life.

ARE YOU THIS KIND OF PERSON?🤔

I think it would be safe to say that most of us underestimate the effect we have on others around us. We hear a lot about emotional trauma people are still feeling from a hurtful act that someone did to them years ago. How many of us still carry around a hurtful memory of a cruel thing someone said to us? It seems painful emotions seem to leave more of a lasting impression. If we think long and hard enough, can’t we remember a teacher who believed in us? How about a meaningful compliment someone paid us that made our day? I do believe we need to put more emphasis on these for two very important reasons.

The first reason is that it helps us balance ourselves and realize that we can overlook a lot of positive experiences that occur in our lives. This can leave us feeling that life is far worse that it actually is. When we were young, when did we right in our diaries? Usually after a heartbreak or some very upsetting moment. As adults, we have to realize to record all of the peaks, as well as the valleys. This can leave us with a feeling of hope and optimisim.

The other reason we should put more attention on the positive inspiring moments should be obvious, but in case it is not, I shall explain it here. One of the most selfish things you can do is to do something for someone else. Why is it selfish? Because it leaves you with such a great feeling you often leave filled with even more joy than the person you helped. One of the greatest ways we can help is to just make as many people as we come in contact with a little happier. That could be through an act of courtesy, a genuine compliment, or another random act of kindness. If we did this for as many people as we can in a day, and each one gives us that feeling of joy, imagine how we would feel at the end of the day?

When you strive to bring light and joy to as many lives as you can every day, there are so many wonderful side-effects that occur. First, you find yourself more popular. People remember your name. Not because of what you did for them or said to them necessarily, but because of how you made them feel. When they do see you, chances are they will greet you with a smile and pleasant demeanor. Can you imagine if 90% of the people you encountered greeted you this way? If you strive to be the person who brings light and love to every situation, they will. Everyone likes someone who makes them feel good. Be that person.

GO BACK AND REMEMBER ❤️

This is one of the first pictures Margie and I took as a couple. It is also one of my favorites. This morning while I was relaxing and enjoying my morning coffee, I was scrolling through the pictures on my phone looking to eliminate some I did not need anymore. This is always a good practice to do every so often. There was an interesting side-effect to all of this. As Margie worked obsessively on a cake she is making for a contest, I was thinking how adorable I found her even when she is stressed out. Here is a little side note about the love of my life, she is one of those people who look adorable in every picture they take. This always fills me with a mix of pride and envy. I thought of this as I scrolled through my pictures.

As I scrolled through the pictures, I noticed all of the things we have been through and all the moments we have shared. I saw all of the wonderful people we had spent time with. I noticed how we changed (She got cuter, I got older) and the different ways that we showed our love for each other. It made me stop and be grateful for something that I might not always appreciate to the level I should. After all, I have a beautiful lady and have had the opportunity to create a beautiful life with her by each other’s side. This not only holds true for romantic relationships, but friendships as well. Family too. Think of all the years and events that people that have shared life with you. A trip down memory lane may very well strengthen the wonderful feelings you already have for them.

This evening, why not take a moment and put together a group of pictures of someone who means the world to you. This could be a lover, a friend, a parent or a child. You could put a special album of pictures in your phone, you can have a photo album made or make one yourself. Look through it every once in a while and appreciate how much they have added to your life and how different life would be without them. As a bonus, you can do this for yourself. Capture some of your greatest moments throughout the years. Think of not only all you have accomplished, but all you have made it through. This will only make you love your life, and the people in it, more than ever. I am going to leave you with another one of my favorite pictures of the love of my life. It was the first time she ever made me a cup of coffee and was so proud. Proof she is as beautiful as an angel, even first thing in the morning!

YOUR GARDEN SAYS A LOT ABOUT YOU 🌻

What can your garden possibly reveal about your life? A lot. For those of you that are like me and have a thumb that tends to be a little more brown than green, fear not, it is more than your garden. If you have a garden, or just a yard around your house would you want it to look good and be doing well? I think most of us, especially those that read this blog, would answer in the affirmative. If, for some reason, your garden is not looking so good what would you do? Would you give up and just let it go? Would you spend extra time pulling up weeds and watering it? Would you call someone who knows better than you? In my case that would be my good soul friend Shannon. Maybe you would read up and study the different plants.

These may all seem like logical answers, but how you treat your garden has a lot to do with how other aspects of you life will turn out as well. What would you do if your relationship was not looking so good? Would you just let it run its course? Would you perhaps leave and go to a different relationship? That is like tilling a new field with the same gardening skills. You are likely to get the same result. Would you get in there and start working on pulling weeds (addressing problems) and watering (adding love wherever you can)? Would you read a book that can tell you more about how to have a successful relationship? Would you call a friend who has a great relationship?

You may think that this isn’t so. You may think you can put forth great effort in one area, such as a relationship, but slack off at your job. You may think that being a great father or mother and a great husband or wife take two separate traits. That is not really so. Consistent action, admitting to ourselves and others that we do not know everything and seeking the wise counsel of others, whether that be in person or through some other medium. Develop successful habits in one area and it will be a lot easier to do in others. The danger here is that it is a double edge sword. Develop lazy and unproductive habits and they will carry over to other aspects of your life, no matter how hard you try.

As Aristotle said, we are what we repeatedly do. What do you repeatedly do everyday? Is it successful habits? Are there areas which you could improve? If you are human, I would imagine the answer to the second question is a resounding “Yes!” This is good news, because it means there is room for both you and your life to get even better than it is now!

Here is a suggestion that I found worked in my own life. Start by putting habits in place in areas you are confident in first. If you are looking to be more self-disciplined, would it be easier to keep to a schedule at the gym, or getting up without hitting the snooze button? Start there and develop the habit. Once you have discipline in the area of life you are confident in, it will be easier to apply it to other areas of your life. Also, be on the look out for areas in which you are starting to develop bad habits. Are you slipping at the gym? Are you showing up for work late? It will only be a matter of time before this starts affecting other areas of your life. Make sure you address them as soon as you can.

HOW YOU SHOULD END IT☕️

This is not a post about breaking up with a lover. It is not a post about quitting your job or any other act of finality. It is about an act that we all do at least once, sometimes several times a day. Changing how we end this act can have a very positive impact on our life and those we share it with. Today we will be learning how to end this act so that both parties leave with a smile and a desire to get together again. Doesn’t this sound like something that could be useful in your own life? This ending we are speaking about is the end of a conversation.

This is something we often give little or no thought to. Most of the time, we just let conversations end themselves. Here is a somewhat morbid, but never-the-less true statement. At some point, the conversation you are going to have with someone will be the last. What would you say and how would you like them to feel if that were the case? It might not be this week, it might not be today, but then again…it might be. That is part of the craziness of the world; we never know.

While you are keeping that sobering thought in mind, I encourage you to ask yourself a question as well. This may seem like a lot of work, but stick with me. Not only will this pay off with both better conversations as well as better relationships. Ask yourself, “How do I want this person to feel when they leave me?” Have you ever encountered people who after you are done talking with them you want to take a shower to wash off the negativity? I have. Have you also left someone and just felt inspired and like their company was a real breath of fresh air? I think it would be safe to say we have all had our share of both of those situations. Now, think of how many times you have consciously acted to affect a conversation you are having? You have that power!

I would love to give you a personal example. The other day my mother and I met for coffee. Both of our schedules are usually pretty busy and walks or coffee are welcome escapes. They always come with great conversation. On this evening as our time together was drawing to a close, we found ourselves discussing the somewhat absurd nature of political ads. The fact that they spend great amounts of money to tell you how terrible their opponent is without actually telling you what they will do for you or any solution they may have. If you don’t believe me, feel free to check your mail or turn on the television. As with any conversation to do with politics, this started to leave us feeling drained and frustrated. The thought occurred to me, “Is this how I want us to go home feeling?” The obvious answer was “No”. I began to make a conscious effort to steer the conversation to a more inspiring and positive tone.

We all have the power to do this. Even with people that enjoy each other’s company, such as my mother and I in the example above, the conversation can take an occasional downturn. The more we make an effort to keep our conversations uplifting and encouraging, the more people will want to have them with us. That is not to say we should be ignorant or fake, but to find ways to see the positive side of even the darkest subjects we discuss. We should also make a point to end our conversations in such a way that both parties leave with joy in their hearts and a smile on their face. How do you end your conversation to make sure everyone leaves with a smile?

HOW DO I DO IT?🤔

My schedule is one that is quite full. I spend roughly 46 hours commuting and working at my day job at the post office. On top of that, I spend about one to two hours at the gym three days a week. I record three podcast episodes a week. I am currently working on my fourth book. People are always asking me, “How can you still spend time doing blogs everyday?” This is compounded by the fact that they bring me very little, if any, financial gain. The picture above can help us answer that question. It is a partial list of countries that had logged on to read my blog during a particular week.

The last country on the list is Ukraine. This country is facing one of the toughest times in its history. People are being forced from their homes. If they are staying, they often have to do so without power, running water and under the threat of violence and destruction. To know that a person in this country took the time to log on to secret2anamazinglife.com, is not only a great honor, but a great responsibility. How many of us have thought to ourselves, “I sure wish I could say something encouraging to all of the people in the Ukraine.”? In this case, I get that chance. When you are living in a country that is at war, you need all of the inspiration you can get. It is difficult to keep your head above water, not to mention deal with all of the death and destruction. A voice of inspiration, encouragement and motivation from afar could be, at the very least, a welcome escape.

If you look a little further up on the list, you will see Puerto Rico. This view happened shortly after the island was devastated by a hurricane. There was almost no power on the entire island. Yet, someone still managed to log on to this blog to read what was written here. Very likely, their valuables were washed away. It is probable that their house was damaged in some form. They may have even lost some loved ones. These people came to read what I have written. Again, quite an honor, but an even greater responsibility. What could I possibly say to someone in that situation?

It does not have to be people in countries who are both ravaged by war and natural disasters. Take a look at any of the other countries. Any one of the people in Ecuador or Ethiopia could be facing one of the darkest days of their lives. Maybe they have lost a job. They could be experiencing the grief of losing a loved one. It is thoughts like this that are in my mind as I write these words. How can I write these blogs? To me the question is more accurately, “How could I not write these blogs?” If my words could improve the life of a neighbor down the street, or halfway across the globe, I owe it to them to share both the knowledge I know, as well as the love in my heart with them.

You may be thinking to yourself, “That is great Neil, but I don’t have a blog.” It is not just the online community that needs our love and encouragement. In todays social media world, where many people can forget the power of their words, we must remember what a positive impact ours can have. It could be someone who is in our social media network. It could also be a coworker or even the guy sitting at Starbucks with no shoes on. That last one is a personal observation I made while writing this. Any of those people could be facing some of the challenges we mentioned earlier. You may never know the impact your positive words or actions may have, but know they do make a difference.

HOW TO FEEL GOOD EVERYDAY 😀

Two thoughts came to my mind when I read this quote. The first thought was, “Why on earth do we not do this more often?” Sure, when someone comes to you with some bit of good news, we do say “Hey, that’s great. Congratulations.” How often do we really go all out and celebrate? We do not have to wait for the big events either. How fun would it be to have a great time and maybe lunch to celebrate your friend getting a new set of tires on their car? How about offering to take your spouse out for dinner after making it through a tough day at work? I am sure they would love that.

The second thought that came to my mind shortly after the first was “If we did this enough, we would be living in a state of celebration!” No matter who we are, we have enough friends and enough reasons to be celebrating every single day! Your friend just completed their first marathon? Doesn’t matter if you can’t even run to the bathroom, go ahead and celebrate with them. There is also an endless stream of ways to celebrate. You can take them out for lunch or dinner as we already discussed. You can also send a card. Send a fun email. Post something lavish on their social media. Pick up a small token of celebration or even offer to do a small service. I am sure you can think of more and I would love to hear about them!

Today, begin to think about and look for people and things you can celebrate. Not only will you feel good and have fun, but by showing how important others accomplishments are, you will strengthen your relationships. Your friends, coworkers and spouses will feel more important than they have in a while and you will feel good because your actions have made them happy. Everyone wins! Who can you celebrate today?

WANT MORE GREAT CONTENT? CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT MY PODCAST!😀

VISUALIZATION SECRET 🤫

There is plenty of talk about visualization these days. For good reason. It is one of the greatest tools you can use to help you reach and accomplish your goals. I know to a lot of you this may seem a little too “New Age”, but there is plenty of science behind it. In the simplest terms, if your brain is used to seeing certain items, people or situations, it is more likely to notice them when they happen in real life. Think about when you were going to buy a certain car and suddenly it seemed you saw them everywhere. Did everyone run out and buy one because you were thinking of getting one? As awesome as you are, I think we can all agree that is not a very likely scenario. Especially, because many of the people you did not even know.

There are some examples that we really can’t 100% explain with science, although quantum physics seems to be getting close. For example, when you are thinking of a friend you haven’t spoken to in a long time and suddenly that friend calls you. How does that happen? Some science behind that in terms of thoughts being waves of energy and traveling, but what we are going to talk about is a simple secret to get past one of the greatest hurdles in being able to put the power of visualization to work in your own life.

One of the greatest powers that visualization puts to work in your life is the power of your mind. Unfortunately, one of the greatest obstacles to this power working miracles in your life is the power of your mind. This can be explained by realizing there are two very distinct parts to the mind. There is the subconscious mind, which controls roughly 95% of what we do on a daily basis. It controls our bodily functions, our habits and our habitual thinking. Then there is the conscious or reasoning mind. This is the part that we have direct control over, although the degree in which we use this control varies from person to person. The only way we can communicate with our subconscious mind is indirectly, through the conscious mind. We can do this through tools such as repeating mantras or affirmations. One of the more powerful ways we can influence the subconscious is through visualization.

Here is where things get a little tricky. At least they used to for me. As great as my imagination and self-discipline are, I kept running into the same challenge. That obstacle was my conscious mind. See if this sounds familiar. I would have a mantra of “I am a wealthy best-selling author” and repeat that over and over. Maybe I would even visualize talking about one of my books on Oprah or seeing my name on top of the best-seller list. As soon as the words left my lips or the image came to mind, I would hear a voice say something like, “Not so!” or “That is a bunch of B.S.” This upset me. Who would have the nerve to shoot down my quest at influencing my subconscious mind? I was ready to correct that person until I realized it was me! My conscious and reasoning mind would object to any belief that was not yet supported by the five senses.

After years of frustration, I came across a solution in a book by Neville Goddard. I am going to share it with you in case any of you are facing the same challenge I was. Even if you are not, this can make visualization a lot easier and enjoyable. Instead of telling yourself “I am wealthy.” or “I am healthy.” Ask yourself how that would feel. This way, you still visualize yourself in the end result and your conscious mind does not object. In fact, it may go so far as to help you imagine. Asking yourself “How would it feel to have a million dollars in my bank account?” Brings up that situation. You can start to engage all of your senses. You can imagine how you would act. Where would you go and what would you be doing? You can make a game of it.

Next time you find yourself having difficulty visualizing an outcome you desire, simply ask yourself what it would feel like if that outcome was realized. Your mind will not object and will begin to go to work to find you an answer.

FOR MORE INSIGHT, CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT MY PODCAST!😀

AN EVENING OF GRATITUDE 🥰

This past Friday, I celebrated the release of my third book, The Beat Goes On, which is also available on Amazon. I was fortunate enough to host this event at an amazing place called Urbal Tea. The owner, Nick, was kind enough to offer me the space. There was enough room for everyone in a very pleasant atmosphere. As you can see, I had all three of my books available and was able to share and meet many new friends.

In addition to all of the new friends that I met, there were plenty of familiar faces. I had friends, family and coworkers. Margie made cupcakes that were so delicious, I think a few people came just for them. I am hoping this new book will help people understand the importance of self-improvement. By reading it, you will be able to witness how it affected one of the scariest and intense moments of my life. In this book it shows the tools and strategies that I personally used and that worked for me. There are moments of laughter, drama, tears and triumph.

I can’t thank everyone who came to share this amazing evening with me enough. There was so much to be thankful for and I hope I did my part to serve those who attended. In a world that can so often seem crazy, it is great to have an evening like this to look back and be grateful for.