Tag: Relationships

10 THINGS TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE THAT REQUIRE ZERO TALENT 😀

Yesterday, we showed you something that would have a positive impact on your life and not require a single cent. If you missed that post, it would serve you to check it out. Today, we are going to look at some things that could radically improve your life and require zero talent. If you are keeping score at home, in two posts we will show you how to improve your life without spending any money and without the need for any talent! Can you see why subscribing to this blog can be so powerful?

We are not going to go through everyone of these, but I want to touch on a few to give you an idea. Let us start at the top, being on time. Why will being on time improve your life. Believe it or not, being on time says a lot more about you than the fact you are punctual. Being on time shows that you have respect for the event you are attending. If you are meeting someone for coffee, being on time shows that you have respect for both that individual as well as their time. Being on time for your job shows your boss that you respect the employment they have given you and the money they are paying you to do the job. Being on time also shows the world that you have self-discipline. It shows the world that you know how to control the events in your life and to adjust circumstances to achieve a certain goal.

A positive attitude is one of the most important tools in our toolbox. It doesn’t require any talent, but can propel you past people with talent! The quote above gives us good food for thought. Why is having a bad attitude so…well…bad? If we are negative, or pessimistic, it can often prevent us from seeing solutions and opportunities. This is not only true when life is going well, but even more so when we are facing a challenge. It will also help us with out social contacts. More people would be willing to, and likely to, help someone with a good attitude verses a bad attitude. Developing and maintaining a positive attitude will go a long way to improving every aspect of our life.

The final of the 10 things we will look at is being coachable. Socrates once said, “The only true wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing.” That is so true. To this day I am learning more in every field I am involved in. Writing, self-improvement and speaking. I am constantly learning more about relationships, work ethic and how to positively impact others. When you have the attitude that you know everything, you close your mind off to any possibility of improvement. We all want our lives to improve right? Sometimes that requires us to be humble enough to admit we do not know everything. Nobody does. Admitting that does not diminish you in anyone’s eyes, but demonstrates that you are a student of life that is eager to improve themselves.

There are so many other great things on this list. The point is that there are many things you can do to improve your life that do not require a degree, years of schooling or even any talent at all! I encourage you to look at the other items on the list and meditate on how you can incorporate them into your own life. I also invite you to think of additional items that could be on this list that would improve your life with zero effort and share them with the rest of us.

THE BEST THING YOU CAN FIND ON AMAZON… AND IT IS FREE! 😜

We are all looking to use our money wisely these days. With the price of groceries and gas on the increase, every dollar counts. Yet, self-care is more important than ever. Stress seems to come at us from every corner. Turn on the television or look at your phone and there seems to be one stressful situation after another. We need to invest in ourselves and our mental well-being to thrive in today’s world. Any money spent on your own mental and spiritual care should not be viewed as an expenditure, but rather an investment.

Wouldn’t it be nice to invest in your well-being and stress reduction and not have to spend anything at all? A lot of us are on Amazon.com quite often. Who can blame you. There are plenty of good deals, and as we mentioned, saving money is good for all of us. There is one thing you can find on Amazon that will not cost you a thing, but help you reduce your stress, increase your joy and help you become the best version of yourself. That is the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. All you have to do is search my name, Neil Panosian, on Amazon. You will see all three books of mine. Great investments in themselves. I promise you the value you will gain will far outweigh what you spend to get them. There is one item you can get today, no money out of pocket, that will bring you both entertainment as well as useful life strategies. That is my podcast. As you can see from the picture above, it is 100% free. You can be listening as soon as you finish reading this blog. Don’t worry, I won’t keep you much longer.

Here is a brief description of what you will find inside that podcast. I must add that it will also include items from my third book as well. You can improve your life starting today. You do not have to spend a single thing and all you have to do is push play and listen. You can get to this podcast, as mentioned, by searching Neil Panosian on Amazon.com. You can also click on the link below. I highly suggest subscribing to the podcast so you will be the first to hear the new episodes as they are released. I will leave a link you can click on at the bottom of this post as well. I look forward to being able to serve you and your life on my podcast and will look forward to your feedback. Subscribe now as season two is just about to begin!

CLICK HERE TO GET MY PODCAST 100%FREE! 😀

ARE YOU SORRY, OR ARE YOU SORRY YOU GOT CAUGHT?

Here is a situation that many of us find ourselves in. Someone does wrong by us. They then say they are sorry. Whether that was saying something hurtful, not fulfilling a promise to us that they had or a host of other things. We have also been the one apologizing. Here is a good question to ask, “Are you sorry, or are you sorry you got caught?” What do I mean be this? Let us take a look.

Apologizing is a necessary and important first step. It is not an entire step. Let us take a really simple analogy. If I were to kick you in the shin because I am mad at you, that would be a very bad thing. I apologize, as I should. Does your leg feel any better at this point? Probably not. If I were truly sorry for your actions, I would want to do something to help. Maybe I would get you some ice to put on your leg, or some pain pills? I could help you lay down and put your leg up to rest. I would also have to develop a plan as to what to do in the future with my anger, so we do not find ourselves in the same situation. This is good conflict resolution. Apologize for the wrong. Take what immediate action you can to help repair and correct the wrong. Finally, develop a plan so that in the future you will not have the same situation come up.

We all know some people who seem to be forever apologizing. What is worse, they seem to be doing so for the same reasons. If you apologize for something, and then continue to do that very thing, are you really sorry? You might be, just not for why you think you are. You are not sorry for the thing you did, you are sorry you got caught. If you were truly sorry for your actions, you would do your best to correct them and improve them. That is not to say you would not make another mistake, just not the same mistake. Growing and evolving includes making new mistakes. We are human after all. If, however, you are continuing to make the same mistakes, you are not growing and evolving.

Pay attention not only to the people in your life, but to yourself as well. Are you following the formula for conflict resolution, or are you just saying you are sorry and hoping that fixes everything? A good rule to follow is to not just say you are sorry, but to show that you are sorry. We do so but taking actions to correct the wrong we have done and to put in place plans that will stop us from doing that same wrong in the future. That is how we grow and evolve.

ARE YOU A ZERO?

This idea may seem very basic to many of you, but it is still very valuable and has a great deal of truth. This is a simple scale. As you can see it goes from negative four, to positive four. This is a great metaphor for our lives. If we think that by eliminating the negative, it will give us a positive life, we can see that is not so. If you think, “I don’t beat my spouse. I don’t smoke. I don’t say anything bad about others. That makes you a positive person.” As you can see by the graph above, that is not exactly so. If you are not doing anything negative, that puts you at zero.

To get to the positive, we must add positive things. We must work hard to make our spouse feel loved and appreciated. That is a positive. Ok, now we are at one. Don’t smoke? that is great. Staying active and eating a healthy diet, that is a positive. That puts us at two. It is good to not say anything negative about others or spread gossip. That means you do not get a negative. Want another positive? Try speaking empowering and kind things about as many people as you can.

The secret to an amazing life is to blend eliminating as many negatives from your life as you can. You also have to add as many positives as you can. Doing both of these at the same time will lead to the biggest improvements. Just make sure you are not making yourself feel overwhelmed. How many negatives can you think of to eliminate in your life? What are some positives you can add?

FAILURE IS NOT FINAL, IT IS FORMATIVE

Last post, I shared with you that fact that I had decided to throw away the months of work and writing I had been doing for my fourth book. It was, in some sense, a failure. It did not meet the expectation that I had for what I wanted to share with the world. Does this make me a failure? I really do not feel like it. The project was. I will still write a fourth book. It will be different than the one I was writing. It will be better.

Think of any great accomplishment we have had in life. Learning to walk. Learning to speak. Getting in shape. Starting a relationship. Finding the love of our lives. Which one of those was a linear process? Which one did we accomplish flawlessly? I am not sure about you, but my total is something slightly less than one. I fell a million times learning to walk. Some days I feel that I am still learning to communicate with those in my life. Getting in shape? That is a life-long journey. My relationship is something that took a lot of work on both of our ends and continues to do so as we navigate the challenge of two different people living one life.

Society’s definition of failure is wholly inaccurate. If it were, no babies would ever learn to walk without a terrible self-image. People would give up on each other before their love had a chance to fully blossom. To, of course, authors would never complete their next book. Failure is not an outcome unless we choose to make it so. It is, more accurately stated, a stepping stone. Next time you feel like a failure, ask yourself if you were failing, or merely learning. Are you going to give up, or begin again more intelligently?

REMEMBER THIS!😮

It is important to remember not to let outside influences override or inner character. Yes, this is easier said than done. We must remember that if we respond emotionally to every person and situation, we are in effect, allowing those people and situations to control us. Are you the type of person who wants to be controlled by everything and everyone around you? That does not lend itself to an amazing life.

This week, when some less-enlightened person does something to aggravate your emotions, remember to respond from who you are and not who they are. One secret to an amazing life is not letting ourselves be controlled.

THIS IS YOUR DUTY✊️

I want to remind all of you the importance of putting a priority on yourself. This is not to say that you should disregard other people’s feelings. Quite the opposite. By being the best version of yourself that you can be, you are able to bring the best to those you interact with. What you should guard against, is sacrificing what is truly important to you to avoid upsetting others. If they truly value who you are, they will understand that you need to do certain things for your own physical and mental well-being.

If you face a situation like this, it is important to convey this information with tact. It is also important not to be persuaded by guilt, threats or anything else that will make you give up what is truly necessary to you and your well-being. By devoting your life to pleasing the masses, you wear yourself thin and will eventually break. You need to take time for yourself. You have a duty to make sure that you keep your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health up. Just as you can only change yourself, you should be the chief person responsible for yourself and your health.

ARE YOU OK WITH BEING MEDIOCRE?🤔

Anyone of you reading a website about secrets to an amazing life are not ok with being mediocre. The simple truth to living an amazing life is focusing on what we can control and not being bogged down on that which we cannot. What we can control boils down to one thing and one thing only – ourselves. We are not happy with our health? It is up to us to change our diet and physical activity. Not happy with your job? Complaining about your boss or coworkers will not change a thing. Going back to school or pursuing your passion on nights and weekends while working that day job will. Not happy with your relationship? Blaming your partner for everything only puts the key to your happiness in their pocket. Working your butt off to improve every aspect of yourself and your relationship, that will make a difference. If it still does not, it may be time to take a hard look at that relationship to decide whether you are truly right for each other. That doesn’t involve blaming either party, just deciding your values may be different. Only do that after you have given 120% on your end, or you may end up living with regret for the rest of your life.

Learning to control and master ourselves will give us an amazing life. Realizing that there is nothing else we can control will make that a lot easier. If you are truly looking for an amazing life, and one that is far from mediocre, than look no further than the mirror. That is the person in charge of your life and the only thing you can, and should, have control over. Today, let us all work on gaining control over ourselves. Whether that is to say ‘no’ to that doughnut in the breakroom, or ‘yes’ to getting up and going to the gym, we must control ourselves. Can’t get control over an aspect of your life? It is your responsibility to seek out more knowledge or assistance to do just that. Today, begin the journey to an amazing life. Take control over yourself.

YOU WERE NOT MADE TO🚫

For those of you following this blog recently, you know that I have just returned from a week-long vacation to the sunny island country of Jamaica. What a fun time I had with my lovely lady, Margie. Today is my first full day back. Tomorrow I return to my day job at the Post Office. It was my first real vacation in 4 years and the first time I have taken a full week off of everything since…well…I can’t even remember when.

Ironically, when I was looking for things to write about, I came across this picture. It reminded me of something I think we could all benefit from. Stress, anxiety and overwhelm seem to be the status quo these days. Especially in “developed” countries. I put that word in quotes because we must ask ourselves what really is developed. Sure, our technology might be advanced. Does that make up for the lack of low-tech enjoyment? Our productivity might be at record levels, but what about the self-care that we all seem to sacrifice to get ahead? If our work output is developed, does that even matter when our spirit is not? It is time to change the focus.

Take the first item on this list. Humans were not meant to sit at a desk from 9 to 5. We really were not. We are meant to be physically active creatures. We were meant to move. Not only does physical exercise help reduce stress and release natural feel-good chemicals in the brain, it helps prevent and reverse many of the health conditions we all suffer from. You don’t have to slave in the gym for an hour, although I enjoy the feeling afterward. You can incorporate walks after dinner, bike rides with friends or even creating a dance routine to your favorite song when nobody is home. Moving helps us both mentally and physically.

The answer must be more relaxing right? The answer to that is both yes and no. While taking some time to unwind is something we should all invest in, how we do so becomes very important. Coming home to relax and watch a little television or a movie is not a bad thing. Bing watching for several hours every night is not healthy. Not only does it deprive us of the movement that is so valuable that we mentioned above, but it deprives us of time to accomplish things that will give us a feeling of pride and self-confidence. Again, this is not to say we should never relax with our favorite streaming service, just that we should do so with moderation. We should also mix in reading our favorite book, spending time with friends, taking a leisurely walk in nature and other relaxing options.

How about only exploring the world only 2 weeks a year? As discussed earlier, I am as guilty of this as anyone else. We need to get away and experience other cultures and people as often as we can. Not only will this broaden our knowledge of people and their circumstances, it may shed new light on our own lives. Look at this beautiful sunset picture I took over the ocean. A scene like that refreshes the soul. Talking with many of the Jamaican people, I learned that they were truly happy with a life that included a lot less than I was used to having. How did they do that? By focusing on being grateful for what they had. Seeing the poverty that many of the islands people lived in, reminded me to be grateful for all that I have. Even just hearing what is important to them and to their families allowed me to see life in a completely different light. Their friendly hospitality everywhere we went was amazing.

How about creativity? Adults seldom, if ever, spend time on creative pursuits. I believe this is for one of two reasons. First, they view such endeavors as wasted time. What does coloring a picture accomplish? I will tell you what it accomplishes. It helps save your brain from a meltdown! That is why I am happy to see the popularity of ‘adult coloring books’. Why do more people not do this? I think another reason is that adults are afraid of not doing things perfectly. If they look worse than their neighbor, they think they have failed. Not true. Picasso had people with square noses and he was considered a great success. The point is to just have fun and let lose. Keep that right side of your brain healthy. If I had to worry about being better than my neighbor, I would never do much. Margie is a very accomplished artist and can do almost any art thing better than I can. Still, I understand that we all have our own unique talents and shine in our own way. Speaking of Margie, she provides another clue to maintaining a creative outlet – surround yourself with creative people. The other night at dinner she stared at her blank placemat and exclaimed, “I need crayons!” She was serious. You need someone like that.

This plays into our last point. Not to have all your aspirations beaten out of you. In a world of online critics, this can be more difficult than ever. Remember this, someone who is truly happy with themselves will never criticize others. One of the most difficult critics to defeat is the one between your own ears. I remember when I thought about starting a blog, writing my first book, starting a YouTube channel or starting a podcast, I did my best to talk myself out of it. Luckily for me, I also had people in my life that pushed the issue. You want to write a book? Give it a shot! You want to become a fashion designer? Try putting together a few outfits. We function best when we are pursuing a dream. Never give up on yours!

THE MOST PRODUCTIVE TIME IS WHEN YOU ARE DOING NOTHING 😌

When something is scarce, it becomes valuable. The less there is of it, the more valuable it becomes. Coffee, for example, used to be extremely expensive. Now, with better international shipping, a cup of coffee can be had almost anywhere. This is great news as a blog writer and future best-selling author. In the modern world, many things have become more available and thus, more economical. There is one thing that has become extremely rare. It may be something that many of us think has little or no value. The truth could not be more different.

What is this thing that has become more rare and is often overlooked for its extreme value? The answer is this – down time. In today’s world, we are so busy trying to accomplish as much as we can that taking a break can have many of us feeling guilty. We are so well connected that being ‘disconnected’ feels wrong. The other day I drove by a high school on my way home from work and what did I see at the bus stop? Roughly 5 kids all staring at their phones. I won’t get into the online verses personal connection, that is for another post. What is sad, is that we are always busy doing something.

I love to go for walks in nature. I see people walking, jogging or riding their bikes. If they are alone, they usually have headphones in or a phone in their hands. What is the cost of all of this business? Lack of connection with the most important person in our lives – ourselves. We spend so little time in our own heads, we often have no idea what is going on there. I hear so many people say “I just feel down and I don’t know why.” Maybe it is because we are not paying attention to the thoughts and emotions we are feeling? We are busy watching, reading, and listening to things that we drown out the voice coming from within. You know, the one that might have warned us something was bothering us before it became overwhelming!

How do I know this to be true? Because one of the people I have heard say these things more often lately is the man writing this blog. On more than one occasion feelings of dread or sadness have overcome me and I have had no idea why. Not only is this a negative feeling, but it is frustrating as hell. How can you fix something when you don’t even know what is wrong? How indeed! What we need to do is spend some time doing nothing. Just relaxing and being present. It will not only be good for our mental health, which is worth its weight in gold, but good for our productivity. How can doing nothing be good for productivity? We all have hundreds of million dollar ideas in our wonderful brains. The reason we usually never realize them, and act on them, is because it is too loud for us to even hear them.

I am not just talking at you, I am talking to the man at the keyboard. Today I leave for my first real vacation in over 4 years. I will be gone for a whole week. Do you know when the last time I took a week away from everything? Here is the sad part, neither do I. These blogs will be written and scheduled ahead of time. My fourth book that is due out in the next few months? It will have to wait. What will be true is my mind will be clearer and better able to complete that book and bring you insightful thoughts in future blogs after this week. I encourage all of you to schedule some downtime and do so soon. It will not only help you be more productive, it will be a goldmine for your mental health!