Tag: Relationships

THIS IS WHERE THE POWER IS 🔋

Here is one of the secrets to an amazing life. This may seem like an obvious conclusion, and for the most part it is. Here is the tricky bit, try remembering it in an emotionally charged situation. Reacting, as easy as it is to do, makes you a slave to outside circumstances. They control your emotional state, they control you. This is true whether that is a rude driver or a flat tire. Mindful acting, as difficult as it can be, puts you back in control.

Would you like to control your life, or would you like others to? Again, that sounds like a foolish question, but one that could serve you when you are tempted to react. Here is another thing that reacting to outside circumstances steals from you, in addition to control, it steals a feeling of security. If your emotional state is determined by things outside of your control, you will never be certain how you will feel. Can you imagine trying to plan anything not knowing what kind of mood you will be in? This can be demonstrated at work the day before you leave for vacation. Nothing seems to bother you. Boss upset? It is alright old chap. Project you were working on fell apart? That is a problem for another day. You walk through life unfazed! What if I told you that you could go through life this way? It is true. Unless you are my boss reading this, in which case I do need to go on more vacations to demonstrate.

Gaining control over your emotional state not only provides you a feeling of security, it also helps add a great deal of inner peace. Knowing that you are not going to let outside circumstances influence your emotional well-being gives us a sense of calm and inner peace that those who react will never have. I have been on both sides, trust me on this one. You decide how you want to feel. Look at outside obstacles for what they are, challenges to test and strengthen your resolve. With each test, you will gain greater control over your emotions and gain a greater sense of inner peace and security. Try it this weekend!

ARE YOU BUYING OR SELLING? 💰

Ben Franklin said many interesting things in his lifetime. I think this might be one of the best. In today’s world, a lot of people are addicted to material bliss. You see packages from Amazon on their doorstep daily. They have to purchase the latest model of cell phone whenever one comes out. When we tie our happiness to the accumulation of material possessions, we cease to own them and they begin to own us.

This is not an anti-material post. I am not advocating selling all of your possessions and donating the money to a worthwhile cause. I like to purchase items here and there as well. The problem comes when we derive our main source of pleasure from accumulating material possessions. Ask yourself, is that me? It is good to purchase nice things for you and your family, but there is something better.

Another great quote! I love the first line, “You’ll never see a U-Haul behind a hearse…” If we spend our lives focused on obtaining material objects to the detriment of everything else, where will that leave us? Think of when you were a kid and had to have that new toy. When you finally got it, you were so excited. It was the best day ever. What happened two months later? It just became another object. You moved on to want the next greatest toy. In essence, your money, or in this case your parents, did not buy a toy, it bought two months of happiness. There is a better way to use your capital than always chasing the latest and greatest new thing, be that electronic gadget, fashion or social status.

To demonstrate what I am saying, let me refer to the pictures above. On top is Margie and I at the Wisconsin State Fair, one of my favorite places. I have purchased many things there. Can’t think of one off the top of my head. I can remember lots of silly times with my love. Then there is a picture of me, my uncle and my sister at a reenactment. Do you know what we bought there? Me neither. Do remember lots of interesting things I learned. Then there is Margie and I at an October Fest. I obviously purchased a large container of beer. Can’t tell you what kind, or even if I liked it. I am more of a rum guy. What I do remember is having fun and discovering new food and drink together. Lastly, there is a picture of Margie and my mother making bracelets. I can’t remember much about the bracelets. I do remember they were made on a soup crawl through the city we live in. It was in the middle of winter and very cold, but we all had fun.

Referring back to the Quote from Denzel Washington, look at the last line. “It’s not how much you have but what you do with what you have.” As you can see by the examples above, spending money to create memories goes a lot further than a material item. In fact, material items can become a burden. You have to find a place for them. You have to clean them. The more things you have, the more you have to put away and clean. When the fateful day comes that you must leave this world, think of what will become of the stuff you leave behind? In short, it becomes someone else’s burden.

Do not sell yourself to pleasure. Find that pleasure in the smile of the one you love. Find that joy in a beautiful sunny day. Feel the refreshing drops of rain. Create beautiful memories to leave with your children instead of the latest gadget.

SUPPORT LOCAL BUSINESS WITHOUT SPENDING A THING 💰

Who out there would like to support local businesses and artists? I would hope the majority of you are raising your hands. Feel free to put them down and read on. One of the toughest parts about supporting local business is that it can tend to be a bit more expensive. With money being tight all over, it can be hard to do. Supporting local business can be easier than you think and does not have to cost a thing. The picture above gives us many examples of simple steps we can take to make a big difference in the life of a small business without affecting our budget at all.

Let’s take a look at a few of them. Writing a review. This is a big one. When people purchase products or services, they generally look at the experience of others. Did they have a good experience? Were they satisfied with the product? Let people know! Many are quick to give negative reviews, but what about supportive and positive reviews? They will make a huge difference. Share their content. For me, this is a big one. We all have our own social circles and can reach people others can’t. Helping spread the world for someone working hard locally can extend that reach much better than they could on their own. Engage with their posts. I cannot tell you how much of a difference maker this can be. It can seem discouraging, especially for artists, to think their work is not only unappreciated, but not even noticed. To take just a few seconds to comment and engage with them can help them understand the message and effect they are having.

My favorite two are give them a shoutout and cheer them on. Recognition for the work they do can make all the difference to a local business. It can help them make it through the challenges often faced by local businesses. For some people, staying up until midnight, or as I have seem Margie do, not sleep at all, can keep them going. This is better for motivation than caffeine or an energy drink.

All of the above examples make a HUGE impact on local businesses, and they cost nothing except our time and a little bit of effort. 64% of all new jobs in the United States are created through small businesses. By helping them, we are not only helping the owners, but everyone they employ and their families. If you are interested in helping this future best-selling author, feel free to share this blog or click the link below to leave a review for, and if you like purchase, any of my books. Support local business. It doesn’t have to cost you anything, but it can be priceless to them.

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE A REVIEW ON MY AMAZON AUTHOR PAGE😀

WORK ON YOUR SUPER POWER TODAY!🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️

Do you ever find yourself getting discouraged at the state of the world today? I think we all can. With the wars, civil unrest, violence and general discord we see and hear about, it can be a bit difficult to remain positive. Yet, the more negative the world becomes, the easier it is for us to make a difference. Traits like love, kindness, compassion and encouragement become more special the less they appear. Some days, using them at all makes you a super power. Sharing a smile with a stranger is not only unexpected these days, it is shocking to many. A kind and encouraging word to someone working in a busy retail environment? Nothing short of a miracle!

You may be asking yourself how much of a difference you are really making. That is understandable. If we are putting forth effort to make everyone’s day a little brighter and we seem to be outnumbered by those who are determined to complain and bring everyone down, it can seem like we are not making a difference at all. The opposite is true. To illustrate how powerful being kind and loving to the world can be, please allow me to use an analogy. If you think of all the positivity you attempt to bring to the world as light, which is pretty close to accurate, this example will ring true with you. If you are in a bright room, or it is the middle of the day, and you turn on a lamp, how much of an impact does it have? Not much generally. Sometimes, you can’t even tell you turned a light on. Now, imagine being trapped in a cave, unless of course you are Closter phobic, then a dark bedroom would do. What happens if you even turn on a flashlight in that situation? It transforms the entire room! That is how kindness and compassion work in a negative world.

Next time you feel like your kindness is not making a difference, think of this example. When you feel like the world is becoming a very dark place, know that being a light will make an even greater impact. Here is one more thing to consider. How many dark rooms do you encounter? Meaning, how many negative environments do you find yourself in? It could be the gossip at work. It could be the stress of a busy retail location. How about a stressful situation at home? The darker the room, the greater impact your light will have. Kindness, love, compassion and encouragement are not only powerful, they are super powers! Develop yours today!

SECRET TO MORE HAPPINESS 😊

It is Friday. Wouldn’t it be nice to just be able to relax a little after a week of work? That is exactly what this post is not only about, but advising! The quote from Nathaniel Hawthorne above says it best. When you chase happiness, it always remains just beyond your grasp. Do you know why that is? It is because happiness is an inside job! When you chase happiness is some thing, or every someone, there are many times when you will end up disappointed. You are putting the key to your happiness in their pocket. Sometimes, they are too busy to take that key out of there pocket.

When you sit down in a calm and focused manner, happiness, much like the butterfly, will find you. This is shown in pictures of one on my mom’s shoulder and in the hair of my beautiful lady. The key is being calm and focused. What should you be focused on? What you can be happy about in the moment. It is easiest to try this on a good, or even neutral day. Another way of looking at this, is what you could be grateful or thankful for. Try this right now. You could feel joy that you have access to the internet on which to read this. The internet not only allows you to read this inspiring blog, but material on every other subject you choose. Think about this. You have access to more information that even the greatest leaders in the world had only 50 years ago. You can be grateful you have health, to whatever degree you do.

This works great to give ourselves a lift to brighten our day. This works good when things are going well, or even neutral, as we mentioned earlier. It can work even better when we are having a tough day. If you have practice doing this on the good days, which I cannot urge enough to do, then it will make it easier when times are tough. Just had a tough day at work? Be grateful you have a job. Furnace went out at home? You have a place to live. You got a flat tire? Well, you get the idea. Every bad situation could always be worse. Even losing someone we love, which to me is probably the worst situation to have happen, leaves us grateful for having love for that person while they were in our life. Many people live a life devoid of any real connection. It may be cliché, but it is indeed better to have lost in love, than never to have loved at all.

Begin today to make a habit of sitting down and noticing what you can be happy for in your life. It only takes roughly 5 minutes of your time, but can transform your whole day. Not to mention, it puts control of your personal joy and inner peace right where in belongs – with you! I would love to hear what practices you have for developing a feeling of joy and gratitude and what you are thankful and happy for today.

YOU ARE WELCOME TO JOIN US! 🙏 😀

I would like to share two things with you in this quick post. I would like to begin by sharing something that makes me happy and that I am very grateful for. I will follow that by giving you a personal invitation.

I want to begin with something that really makes my heart soar and fills it with gratitude. This blog now has followers in over 200 countries. Some of you who are regular followers that stop by rather often. I consider you friends and companions on the road to living an amazing life. Eduardo in Italy, Elena in Romania, Grace in both Tanzania and Kenya. Thank you for not only reading what I write, but for also offering your amazing feedback and insight. I feel like I have a friend in almost every country around the world. The exceptions being ones who cannot access what we share here for political reasons, and Greenland for their own reasons. If you have a second after you read this post, I would love to meet all of you. Until I become a rich and famous author and can fly to you in person to shake your hand, it would mean a great deal if you would take just a few seconds to introduce yourself and say where you read this blog.

I love hearing stories from every corner of the globe. There is a gentleman in Lebanon who prints out posts to hang in his office to share with his coworkers. My good friend in Italy I mentioned earlier, shares them on his social media. To a woman who reads them to her Grandmother in Peru because she is not online. This I am so grateful for as well. I can hope to reach everyone, but without your help in sharing, I could not imagine succeeding. A big thank you to all of you who share our inspiring content.

Now for that personal invitation I promised you. I want to invite you, the wonderful individual who is reading this, to join our global community. You can subscribe to this blog at secret2anamazinglife.com, join the Facebook page of the same name, or even follow our podcast at Living the Dream with Neil Panosian. In any of those cases, you will be a part of a positive-minded community that spans over 200 nations. In our online family, there is every race, creed and culture. We encourage and inspire each other. When you do subscribe, you can drop in whenever you have a need for a little motivation and inspiration, or even better, when you have a little extra to share.

I want to again thank all of you in our global, online family. 200 nations strong and only growing. Every time you hit “like” or leave your feedback in the comments, you bring a smile to my face and joy to my heart. Whenever you share our content, you do the same to so many across the globe. So, once again, I want to express my deepest gratitude and invite you to join us on our journey to live a more positive and rewarding life.

SECRET TO MY CALM 😌

When asked to describe me, I always find it interesting to hear what words people choose. I am always hoping for dashing, handsome, charming. Instead, I often hear words like calm, laid back and relaxed. Not the description of the gent on the cover of a romance novel, but not bad either. Usually, after giving such a review, I am asked the same question. It is usually some version of, “How do you remain that calm?” The answer is a simple one – I only give my emotions to that which is truly important to me. This is easy to understand, but to many, almost impossible to do.

This usually generates the follow up question, “How can you do that?” One of the ways I do that is to remind myself of how I used to be. Those who let other people and situations control them are putting control of their life at the mercy of others. You must ask yourself, “Do you want to control your life, or do you want others to?” If you are reading a blog dedicated to living an amazing life, my guess is you want to be in control over your own life. When we live in reaction, that is the opposite of what we are doing. I know. I used to live that way. It can leave you feeling like a ship in the ocean without a rudder. There is no way to steer your life and you are at the mercy of the wind and the waves.

It is important to understand that the same holds true of your own emotions. When you let yourself react to life and those in it, you are a slave to your emotions. They own you. People often tell me things like, “Neil, I can’t help if that is how things/people make me feel.” I get it. Life, and the people in it, are often less than ideal. That is an eloquent way of saying they can sometimes suck. While they have the freedom to act as awful as they please, what they don’t have the power to do is to make you feel any way other than how you choose to let them. This may sound difficult, but it really isn’t. Controlling our emotions can be done by understanding how they are formulated in the first place. What you feel is determined primarily by 2 factors. What you focus on, and what you decide it means.

Yes that person may have called you a racial slur or some insulting name. Are you going to focus on their ignorance or your truth? What does it mean to you? Does it mean the world is full of hatred? Does it mean you are less than? Does it mean that you have an opportunity to demonstrate a positive example for your race and make this person look foolish? Does it mean this person is serving as an emotional trainer to help you strengthen your compassion for the less-enlightened? That is also an eloquent way of saying having pity for the ignorant and stupid. There is nothing that infuriates someone trying to upset you than not allowing it. Not to mention, not getting upset about that which does not matter greatly reduces your own stress.

You will certainly be faced with situations in which you need to be emotionally involved. There are situations that disrupt your spirit and upset you. I was once told that the most important decision in fighting a battle, is whether it is worth fighting in the first place. You must ask yourself the same thing when you find yourself at the mercy of your own emotions. It is a fool who wastes his time trying to master others. The true power is learning to master yourself and your own emotions. That is the secret to my calm. That is a secret to an amazing life.

EMERGE FROM THE DARKNESS 🧟‍♂️

A few posts back, we discussed the importance of self-care. If you missed it, I highly suggest giving it a quick read. One of the two reasons we gave for healing yourself was the ability to pass the knowledge of what worked onto others. This is priceless information. Often, when we are going through pain, we can compound the emotional struggle by feeling alone. It can seem as if nobody in recorded history has had the problem we are facing. We may know that is not true intellectually, but it can still feel that way from an emotional standpoint.

Imagine, if you will, how healing it would be to hear from someone who has faced similar challenges to what we are now facing? If they could share with us how they overcame it? How valuable would both of those things be? Speaking for myself, they could make all of the difference in whether or not I make it through a situation. I often wonder why more people do not realize the power of sharing not only their successes, but their struggles. On social media, it would seem everyone wants to appear perfect. Being imperfect is where it is at, if you ask me. It makes you more relatable. Who can relate to someone who has a perfect life? Certainly not me.

The most interesting thing happens when I tell people that they are a healer or a hero. Whether it is out of modesty or maybe even ignorance, they just blush and say, “Not me. I am nothing special.” That could not be further from the truth. Every struggle you have made it through and lived to fight another day is a victory. “It was messy and a screwed a lot of things up.” they say. Great! You don’t think someone hearing that despite doing seemingly everything wrong, you still overcame and later thrived could be valuable? “What if what worked for me doesn’t work for them?” they ask. That’s fine. Knowing something can work in that situation can give them courage to try their own solution.

Please understand that having a life that is not perfect does not make you less than. What it does make you is a healer and someone who could help and inspire others. As long as you had to suffer the pain, put it to good use helping others. You never know when your struggle could save someone else.

TACOS. 🌮THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS?

Before we get to the title of this post, let me give you the backstory. Life for a motivational author/blog writer/pod cast host is a 24/7 job. I cannot even go to the movies without my brain looking for what I can use to teach and inspire. This post, is another one of those examples.

The other morning, Margie and I found ourselves with some unexpected, and rare, free time. We both agreed going out for breakfast with each other would be fun. It is an activity we love. Something about sitting across the table from that adorable face early in the morning really makes me happy. We chose one of our favorite places, First Watch, to go eat. If you have one in your town, I suggest giving it a try. The have amazing choices and leave a pot of coffee on your table. Good stuff.

As we walked in, we were greeted with the smell of breakfast. You know what I am talking about. The smell of eggs frying, bacon sizzling and toast…well…toasting. As we sat down they gave us a menu of the specials. Some sounded really delicious and just like something Margie would enjoy. She looked at me and said, “I am getting the breakfast tacos. They make me happy.” As long as she is happy, I am happy. I began to think about how much breakfast with her makes me happy. In addition, the smell of toast. Just fills my mind with thoughts of fun breakfasts we have shared. The place is decorated fun and reminds us a little of vacation.

Then I thought again what Margie had said about the tacos and it hit me! An inspirational thought, not a taco. People spend years searching high and low for the secret of happiness and all they had to do is order some tacos. I can hear a large percentage of you nodding and shouting in agreement. More than delicious flavor, the tacos gave me, and now you, a great secret to adding more joy to our lives. Margie loves those tacos, so she looks forward to ordering them. We go to this place perhaps once a month. She knows that she can look forward to this delicious breakfast that adds joy to her life.

The secret that came to me will work even for those rare and strange souls who do not like tacos. The secret is this – find those little things that add joy to your life. That could be the smell of toast, like it was for me. It can be a walk in nature like it is for my mother. It can be a plate of delicious breakfast tacos like it is for the love of my life. Then, schedule those things into your life. Not too often where they become mundane, but often enough you can look forward to them. They work even better if you include some friends. Margarita night with the girls? Fishing trip with the guys? Even a trip to your favorite local breakfast place for some breakfast tacos with the love of your life. Give yourself that little joy to look forward too. It will make the rest of your life a lot easier to take.

IT IS WHO YOU ARE 🤔

One of the best ways to develop your character is to treat people in ways that reflect it. If you want to be someone who is considered generous, make sure to be giving to others. This can be in many ways such as your time, your energy or your understanding. If you want to be someone known for their compassion, treat people not as they deserve, but better than they deserve. Try to understand why someone acts out of pain and frustration rather than just looking at their actions. All of these can be tricky, but remember how you act is a reflection of who you are.

One of the most important things to remember in life is that we cannot control what happens to us, but we have complete control to how we react. That is where our power is. If we are just a slave to our emotions, we give that power up. If that is where you find yourself currently, you can regain that power. It takes effort and practice, but it is worth it. Not allowing circumstances to determine our emotional state is one of the secrets to an amazing life. Just keep in mind that we should treat people how we are, not how they are or because of what they can get us. How do your actions and the way you treat people reflect who you are?