Tag: Relationships

LOOK FOR A GREEN FLAG 🟩

You hear a lot about seeing red flags in people these days. You hear about it on dating sites, on social media, and even in books and YouTube videos about relationships. It is good to have a list of signs that someone, be they friend or intimate partner, is not right for you. Being able to identify and set boundaries early on will certainly make life easier. Knowing when a person’s values do not match yours is crucial for long-term success in any relationship.

As I often do, this made me ask the question, “What about the positive side of this?” This was a little awkward as I asked this when I was sitting alone at a coffee shop, but I digress. Equally as important to knowing what you don’t want in a relationship, is focusing on what you do want. It may actually be more important as it has been shown we tend to attract to our lives that which we focus on. If you are constantly saying, “I am sick of meeting people who don’t have their life together.” That is what you will tend to see.

Instead, let us focus on what we are looking for. What are some of your green flags? Mine are people who are driven to improve their lives. I enjoy people I can discuss both new-age and self-improvement concepts with. Maybe someone with an appreciation for the tropics. People who have a general positive outlook on life tend to get a green flag from me. Anyone who has a grateful heart is a green flag in my book.

This is not to say that if someone doesn’t seem to match what you consider a green flag that you automatically discount them. We need friends that offer us a little contrast. Rather, it is to train our focus to notice those who share some of the character traits we find enjoyable. If we come up with a list of things that we consider green flags, it should also bring up a feeling of gratitude for those already in our lives that posses these traits.

Come of with some ‘green flags’ of your own. I have told you a few of mine. What are some of yours? There really is no right or wrong answer to this question. We all enjoy and value different things in people and in life. Knowing what we do want can help us notice when we see that in others.

VERY HARD TO BE SIMPLE 🤔

Ah, to be simple. This seems like a quest that is next to impossible in today’s complex world. Here is thing, it is one of the secrets to happiness. With our propensity to over-complicate things, we create unnecessary stress and chaos in our lives. One great way to limit stress and help bring us peace is to become simple. This can be done in many different ways. Just to get you started, we are going to look at two examples that I think everyone could benefit by putting into practice.

The first is to find joy in simple things. Have you ever tried booking a vacation to the tropics? How about doing it as a surprise for the birthday of the woman you love? Let me tell you, a lot of complications there. A lot of stress. However, have you ever made a conscious effort to set and really listen to that same woman in an attempt to not only make her feel heard, but to perhaps learn a little more about that special person in your life? Pretty simple and brings joy to both parties. How about just going for a walk in nature and enjoying the fresh air and all that you see? The benefits of walking in nature are worth both researching as well as experiencing.

If we thought that being simple in today’s world is difficult, try being present! With that little device in our pocket calling our name every second through the beeps and other such noises, we can miss the world passing us by. When my mother and I walk through the woods, we occasionally see people walking through this beautiful scenery, face buried in their phones. They miss the deer munching on some clover, or the hawk soaring above. Maybe they miss the chance to sit and enjoy a quiet sunset.

More than digital distractions, is the distraction of our own minds. Many dinners are ruined by someone lost in thought over a work problem. What is crazy, is that these people often feel guilty about not paying more attention to their dinner company, thus adding even more stress. This tends to be a repeating cycle. It would benefit us greatly, and reduce our stress, to simply do what we are doing. If we are eating dinner, put our attention there. Not only will we better enjoy our company, we will taste the food more. If we are going for a walk to reduce our stress, let us not ruin it by dwelling on the stress while we are walking. Let us be present as often as we can.

By simplifying our life, we will increase our happiness. Enjoying pleasures that are more simple and organic as well as being present, are only two ways in which we can do so. In what ways do you think you could make life more simple? What would you recommend to someone who is looking to do this? Let us all share our ideas and help each other.

ARE YOU GOING TO AFFECT OR INFECT? 👀

As we sit here looking at another work week about to begin, we have some very important decisions to make. One of the most important is the energy that we are going to bring to it! I like the picture above because it reminds us of the power and influence we have with others. It is rather ironic that people will work so hard to set up their influence online to become a famous ‘influencer’, yet they forget the influence they already have.

Whether you are looking for your next million followers, or have no idea what an online influencer is, this post is for you. The energy we bring to the world and to the day has an impact on others. Not only the people we come in contact with, but often far more than that. If you berate the young lady at the coffee shop for putting too much ice in your drink, it may not seem to bother her, but it is one bit of negative energy she probably did not need. What if that same young lady has a date set up with the person she loves after work? Do you think that negative emotion could impact that date as well? If she is unable to enjoy her date, do you not think that will also affect the person she is on a date with? It is like throwing a pebble into the ocean, the ripples with continue to spread out.

Let us look at this from the opposite angle. What if you can radically positively impact someone’s day? Maybe the stranger you let go ahead of you in the grocery line just learned their child has a serious illness? What if the smile you shared with a stranger helps someone who is struggling with depression? Think of how adding joy to someone’s day can make a difference? It can help them have a more positive emotional state. The things this can impact are many. When we are in a positive emotional state, our immune system functions better. We are more likely to take advantage of opportunities.

You might find this a little dramatic. “Neil, you really expect me to believe that my energy can ruin someone’s date or help them against getting sick?” Yes, it actually can! With this knowledge, we should be excited to positively impact as many people as we can. Just like our negative example, this will impact far more than just the lucky souls we are sharing our positivity with! This week, let us make an effort to inspire and not to infect.

1 WAY TO AVOID CRITICISM 😔

Who wouldn’t want to be loved by everyone? In a world where many people view their value on social media ‘likes’, it is important to consider this quote issued thousands of years ago. No matter where you stand on an issue. No matter how pure and good your intent is, you will face criticism. Can we remember, and more to the point respect, that others have a right to be different than us? It is what gives flavor and excitement to life. Can you imagine a world full of people just like us? It may sound good on the surface, but it would quickly spiral downward.

What would be so bad about everyone being the same? There would be no disagreements. While this is true, there would also be very little growth. There are also people who hold opinions that would harm others. Be that emotionally or physically. When we hear everyone being the same, most of us just assume that means that Betty and Bob would have to be just like us. None of us would stop and consider that we have have to become just like Betty or Bob. We may have to change our beliefs, our likes and dislikes. How would you like to be forced to do that? No? Than why should we expect anyone else to do the same for us?

When we receive criticism, it is important to remember this fact. All people are different and that is ok. We have all had different experiences and face different environments. A person born and raised in Fiji, for example, would have a much different view on life and what goes on in it, than myself. Although, if they would like to trade places for a bit, I would be down. Someone born in a single parent household verses a two parent household would be different. The list, as we can imagine, could be endless. Just remember, if you are going to say or do anything, there will be those who criticize and disagree. Also remember, that is just fine.

ARE YOU BUYING, OR ARE YOU SELLING…. YOURSELF?🤔

In a world of quick gratification, this quote should really hit home for a lot of us! We associate pleasure to so many things, that we fail to realize how much we have become a slave to these pleasures. How many of us have seen a couple out for dinner and spend the entire meal staring at their phones, barely interacting with each other? When we cease to be able to enjoy things in moderation, we become a slave to them. Yes, pizza, I am looking at you. When we ‘have to have’ the latest gizmo or gadget, we are giving our money, our attention and most importantly, our energy to them. There is nothing wrong with obtaining nice things. When that becomes a problem, is when getting those things is our main goal in life.

This is so true in life. One of the reasons that I have such an amazing relationship with the lady in my life, is the experiences we buy or pay attention to. It is not the big things, although those are amazing. It is the simple things. The pleasure I seek, is her smile. What I choose to pay attention to is the little things she does that melt my heart everyday. By investing in these pleasures, it creates at atmosphere of love and appreciation for each other. Just the other day, she even had a little sign on the door when I came home from a hard day at work. It cost her nothing but a few minutes of her time. The return on that investment? Every time I see, or even think about that sign, I love her even more.

Think of the pleasures in your life. Are you really buying them, or have you become a slave to them? One of the greatest ways to prevent this from happening is to remain present. That way you can not only get pleasure from each moment in life, but you will be aware enough to realize the pleasures that have taken over your life.

DO NOT DIE BEFORE YOU ARE BURIED 💀

I have always liked this quote by Ben Franklin. Yes, we are on an informal basis like that. Actually, Ol’ Ben was quite a party animal, but that is a post for a different day. What does he mean about Dying at twenty and not being buried until we are seventy five? Does that mean they leave us out long past our shelf life? No. What it means is that we stop living a life of purpose and passion and settle into a life of mediocrity. It is the “Wake up, pay bills and die.” mentality.

My fourth book will deal with this in depth. Until that wonderful piece of literature is published, let us have a brief discussion on the subject. Does life feel like a chore to you? Are you busy just trying to survive, or are you focused on thriving? Whether you are 18 or 80, the time is now to focus on living. Ask yourself, how many times a day does your soul feel on fire with the passion of life? Many people think this is an unrealistic goal. That, in itself, tells you how far removed from truly living they are.

It may be quite a high standard to walk around in a state of bliss, although there are those who manage. Your life should, and quite frankly must, contain moments of this. If not, you are not really living. As someone who works 45 hours a week at his day job, writes a daily blog, is working on his fourth book, hosts a podcast and is a DJ on Sunday, I can understand that quite often responsibilities can take up quite a bit of our lives. Sneaking in reasons to be full of passion is what makes life feel alive.

I recommend creating as many of these moments as you can. One of the best ways to do so is to be fully present. In a world where more of us stare at our phone than out in the world, this alone could make a huge difference. Spending some time in nature revives the soul in many ways as well. Having a purpose bigger than a paycheck is not only a good idea, it is vital to creating a rewarding and fulfilling life. Let us start living more, and let us start doing so today.

😃CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT MY FIRST THREE BOOKS

2 THINGS WE SHOULD STRIVE FOR 💪

In a world where everyone seems to be chasing something, why not put our focus on these two priceless items? Waking up and thinking about the potential in each day will have us feeling far more optimistic. All our dreams may not come true that day, but then again, they might? Something even better that we haven’t thought of may occur. We might face a tough day, but discover an unexpected blessing in the middle of it!

How about as we fall asleep at night? Doing so with peace in our hearts is a gift that cannot be overstated. It is, more often that not, our own thoughts that torment us. Knowing, even if we made mistakes, that we are working to do the best we can and will continue to do so, should give us peace. Filling our hearts with gratitude for both the day, and for all the good yet to come, can allow is to get the rest we need. If something is vexing us, journaling about it or getting it out in another fashion, until our mind is able to be still.

Forget all of the material objects often chased by the ignorant. It is the two ‘P’s that matter. That is potential and peace. These are far more valuable than anything you can purchase in a store. A soul excited about potential and a heart filled with peace are more precious than anything we can work for. Invest in these two items and everything in your life will fall into place.

THE SECRET TO MAKING IT THROUGH ANYTHING ♥️

Life can really take us on a crazy ride sometimes! We can face some very difficult and interesting challenges. How do some people seem to keep going and some find it more difficult? A good deal of it breaks down to why they believe they are here. Maybe you are looking to take control of your health after years of neglect? This can be quite a difficult challenge. Especially the older we get. Maybe you want to fit into your jeans or look better at the beach. That may be enough to get you into the gym. When the doctor comes into the room and tells you that unless you make some changes, you are likely to suffer a heart attack, that will have you cleaning out the cabinets and walking to work.

It is not just the quest of improving ourselves in which a ‘why’ becomes helpful. Making through a challenge can often only be done with a strong ‘why’. The greatest example I can think of is a loss of a loved one. We may often feel like there is no way that we can see living our life without them. Knowing that there are others who both love us, and would feel the same about our loss, can keep us waking up every morning.

This is not to say that life will not be a struggle sometimes. That it can feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders. What a strong ‘why’ can do, is help us carry that weight as we work on gaining the strength to be able to do so regularly. It is good to have one overarching ‘why’ in life, but we can have several others to keep us going.

In my own life, my ‘why’ is to positively impact the lives of millions of individuals around the globe. In my personal life, much of my ‘why’ revolves around being the best man for my beautiful lady, Margie. It is being a good example of how to treat your lady for anyone who is watching. It is living up to the standards that I have set for myself. Did I mention it is helpful to have many reasons to become all that you can be? How about you? Have you made sure you have enough, and strong enough, reasons for your life? Work on them today. They just might end up saving your life.

A NEW KIND OF WHY…

Recently, the lack of moral fiber of many at my day job has made me become disenfranchised with the whole establishment. Normally, this could make your life a little darker. In my case, it is actually quite liberating! It has providing me extra motivation to finish my fourth book. It has also given me a shove in the direction of something that makes better use of my talents. Like the knowledgeable bear above says, you cannot get where you are going, unless you walk away from where you are.

Instead of being disappointed, or even angry, at those running the show at my 9 to 5, I am so grateful. We can all get comfortable where we do not belong. It is often then that the universe has to make us uncomfortable to make us move. In the past, this has been hard for me to see. This time around, I can see it for what it truly is – a gift. Does this sound like I am looking at the situation through rose-colored glasses? Perhaps, but that decision is one that was advocated by one of the greatest minds in history.

Making the decision that the world is a friendly place has not only reduced my stress about many things, but has forced me to think more creatively. In this case, should I be using my energy on activities in my life that will make a greater difference? It is a reminder that the world doesn’t happen to me, but that it happens for me. By making my time at work less enjoyable, this person is reminding me to concentrate on where my focus should have been in the first place. Maybe that Einstein fellow was onto something after all.

Deciding that the world is a friendly place and that everything that occurs in your life can serve a positive purpose may sound like a positive thinking kind of way of looking at the world. In many ways it is, but that is kind of the point. You could complain that life gave you lemons, or you could start looking up a good lemonade recipe. In this case, I also got a post out of it! One that includes both Winnie-the-Pooh and Albert Einstein. How often does that happen?

WHEN 99 SECONDS TURNS INTO 5 MINUTES 🕑

When does 99 seconds become 5 minutes? They do say time is relative. I once heard a quote that stated, “How long 3 minutes is depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on.” A better demonstration of the relativity of time I have yet to hear. In today’s post, the answer is that 99 seconds becomes 5 minutes when the gentleman making the video does not pay attention to time.

The gentleman is me, and the video is one from my YouTube channel (Neil Panosian – feel free to subscribe). In this video, I come some very interesting points. There is the discussion of what happens when you bring your work home with you and how bad that can be for your home life. It also covers some other tips for turning things around.

Yes, the video is a little longer than 99 seconds, but there is a lot of good information in it. Plus, you get a few moments with a future best-selling author. How can you go wrong? Click on the link below to watch the video. Don’t forget to give it a thumbs up and leave any comments you may have.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO