Tag: relationship advice

TAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS FROM ORDINARY TO EXTRAORDINARY

Last post we discussed how a mere 6 inches can make a huge difference in the world. If you haven’t had a chance to read it, you might wish to take a peak. The more I thought about it, the more that holds true in relationships as well. I almost titled this post “6 inches makes the difference in relationships” but that certainly could be misinterpreted. Do you best to get that thought out of your mind and let us move on.

Having a successful relationship is not as difficult, or as complicated as many would have you believe. Setting up some great communication and respect is all it really takes. You can have an ordinary successful relationship. My guess is that if you are reading this that would not be enough for you. Someone reading a site called “Secret2anamazinglife” would most likely want an amazing relationship. This is also not as complicated or difficult as you may think. There are a few basic mindset changes to make. By making these mindset changes, you will automatically take actions that will lead to relationships that are deeper, healthier and more productive for both parties.

How do you take your relationships from ordinary to extraordinary? The answer is in the words themselves. How to you change the word ‘ordinary’ to ‘extraordinary’? You simply add a little extra to it. This is exactly how it works in relationships. Perhaps your spouse asks you to stop at the store to pick up an item for them. Why not pick up a little surprise? Do not know what they would like? There is a good place to start, by listening. When they ask you to help them with something, try doing it with a smile and doing a little bit extra.

These may seem like obvious actions to take, but there are more subtle ones as well. As we briefly touched on above, why not practice listening more. This is not listening to respond, but to understand. Listen to learn. Our partners, or any relationship for that matter, will tell us what they like and dislike and what makes them happy and unhappy if only we would listen. Think of all the ability you would have to improve your relationships if you knew the other party’s likes and dislikes? Their favorite movies, books, places to eat, things to do for fun and anything else they would share. This will also make gift giving a lot less stressful for you as well.

Sometimes the extra can be time. Spending that little extra time thinking about the other person. What makes them happy? What can you do to make them happy or to take away some of their stress? One of my favorite things to do is to spend that little extra time thinking about everything you have to be grateful for in regards to this person. Then, you can think about how you would like to express this gratitude. Let me assure you that expressing genuine gratitude for someone and everything they bring to your life is some of the best ‘extra’ you can do. Do not take my word for it. Try it yourself!

Go the little bit extra. Whether that is a little extra silly or creating memories that even get you on the news, put a little extra effort in. That extra will take you from ordinary to extraordinary! On the top of your list should be thinking of what you have to be grateful for and how to express it!

RULES FOR COUPLES ARGUMENTS

Many people ask what the secret of success to the success of my relationship with my beautiful lady is. It is not just focusing on how to create more happy moments, although that is important. Equally important is knowing what to do when the sun doesn’t seem to be shining on your love.

Knowing how to handle the “valleys” of a relationship is just as important as celebrating the “peaks”. Take a look at the list above. It is a good set of rules to have in place to ensure your love lasts a lifetime. Tell me what are some of the rules you have for disagreements that keep your love strong?

OLD-FASHIONED IN THE MODERN DAY 🌻

Here is a relationship secret that really shouldn’t be a secret at all. It is something that a lot of couples find very difficult to manage in today’s complex and connected world. That secret is to not share too much of your relationship online. It may be tempting to air out your dirty laundry like your favorite celebrity. Especially in the heat of the moment. You want everyone to know what they did to upset you so. Here is two problems with that. First, there are people who are just waiting to swoop in and take the person you love, even if you do not like them at the moment. Every episode of drama you air on social media puts a chink in your armor of love and gives them a little more ammunition to try and tear you two apart. You may not even know who these people are, maybe your partner doesn’t either. They are out there, rest assured.

The second one is even more certain. It makes you look foolish. You might be asking yourself how sharing something totally thoughtless your partner did can make you look foolish. There are actually two answers to that as well. You are the one who chose to be with them. If you are constantly belittling them, what does that say about your judge of character? We all know that couple that are forever breaking up and getting back together online. One day they are trying to convince the world how terrible they have been done wrong, the next day they are waxing poetically about the ‘forever love of their life’. Stop it. You look foolish. People are reading it and thinking “How can she go back to him?” or “I would never lower myself to being with a woman that treated me that way.” You are making your partner look bad and you are making yourself look bad.

That being said, you would certainly benefit by sharing your love for your partner. Sure, you may have to deal with some sarcastic comments from those who are either jealous, jaded or affection-challenged, but it is a small price to pay for the rewards you will get by sharing all the wonderful things about your partner and all the reasons you love them. What are those rewards you ask? Let us take a look at just a few of them.

In many ways you could flip the things we discussed earlier. For people who are looking to damage your relationship or steal your partner away from you, sharing how wonderful you think they are and how much you love them would serve as a great discouragement. They may search out easier prey. Second, you make both your partner and you look good. When you post what an amazing cake your partner made or the wonderful dinner they prepared for you, people will look and say things like, “That Margie is sure talented.” or “Look how good she treats her man.” A random post about how grateful you feel to have your partner, provided it is genuine, will accomplish much the same thing. People will read all the things you are grateful for in your wonderful partner and think highly of them. They will notice how appreciative you are, and think, “Boy I wish my partner appreciated me that much.” You will help both of you look better in the world’s eyes.

Relationships are not for the world at large and neither should your efforts. Although we have shown why that can be important, let us look at another important to share your pride and gratitude for your partner with the world. That is you increase the intimacy between you. Why? Who does not like to feel their partner is proud of them? Do you know what else feels good? When the wonderful things you say about your partner get back to them. I recall being at a jewelry store with Margie and one of the employees came up to tell her all of the wonderful things I say about her. I am sure she might have been hoping to sell us some more diamonds, but gave us an even greater gift. She showed my love that my affection for her is alive and well even when she is not around. Who wouldn’t want to hear their partner is telling everyone how much they love them? In turn, that increases trust and affection between the two of you.

You should feel proud and grateful for your relationship. If you don’t, there are bigger issues you may want to address. Follow the steps we have outlined here to make sure you take some of these old-fashioned values with you into the modern world of love.

THE GREATEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE 🎁

Who doesn’t love giving a great gift? I know I do. Seeing the joy on the face of others when they open a gift you have carefully thought of and selected is a better feeling than any gift you could receive. At least that’s how I feel. I’m sure many of you would agree.

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to give a gift like that every time you see someone? To see someone’s face light up with joy everytime the two of you connect? There is such a gift. It does require careful thoughts and actions daily, but as you can see, the rewards are priceless.

The gift we are talking about us becoming the best version of yourself. This may seem counterintuitive, but if you think about it is not. Of course the ultimate beneficiary of self-improvement is… well.. yourself. Still, think of how nice it is to spend time with someone who is at peace, filled with joy and has their life reasonably together.

This is not to say that you should fake being happy all of the time. We all have struggles and sometimes sharing them with a friend helps a great deal and makes our friend feel like the valuable person they are in our life. Showing up with peace in our hearts, an attitude of gratitude and excitement about the future can brighten anyone’s day.

The more you learn about improving your own life, the better you can be of service to those you care about. Learning to be a better listener? Think of who that benefits. How about developing the ability to give genuine and uplifting compliments? You know that will certainly encourage your friends and family. One of the best things I have learned is to stay calm in the face of challenges. You not only inspire others, but can be in a better position to see solutions their panicking mind may not be able to.

This year, let us all work on becoming the best version of ourselves. Not only will we improve, but so will our relationships with those we care about. Just remember that self-improvement is a life-long journey. You can take a daily step right here at secret2anamazinglife.com!

TELL ME JUST ONE SENTENCE ☝️

We are influenced by so many people in our lives and given so much good advice. Every once in a while we are given a line that sticks with us. One sentence that can transform the path our life can take. Funny thing is, we don’t often realize it at the time.

To demonstrate, let me share one example in my life. Growing up, I spent a lot of time with my grandparents. They were married for many years. My grandmother could be a bit surly at times. She had a lot of medical problems and I’m sure that was a part of it. My grandfather, on the other hand, was very tolerant. He let most of it bounce off of him. I recall asking him one day how he did it and what the secret was to a lasting relationship. His answer was 4 words, “Bend but don’t break.“

In its simplicity, it was yet profound. At the time I was young, and if we’re being honest, rather stupid. It didn’t seem to be the complex secret I was expecting. Here is the irony. Now, years later, it is one of the main secrets to the success of my relationships. To me it means that you have values you do not compromise on, but the rest you have to be about to be flexible, or bend, on.

How about you? What one line do you recall getting in your life? Who did you get it from? I would love to hear your story.