Tag: random acts of kindness

DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!

Last post we discussed the quote, “Some people will never like you because your spirit irritates their demons.” Not only is that quote worth repeating, it is worth pairing with the quote above, “Never let the ugly in others kill the beauty in you.” This can be really hard to do. There is the ability to attack people from behind a keyboard, or through a text message. There is little or no chance of repercussion. This, unfortunately, brings out less than the best in much of humanity.

Their is a social media platform that this blog appears on, I will not mention the name, but it can be very confrontational. I have people attack me because of the way the title of my posts are set. They have attacked me for spreading optimism and positivity. Some people have even said some awful things because they believed my spiritual beliefs and theirs were not the same. This is amusing because I do not generally share my beliefs on this site. No, this site is for anyone regardless of what faith you follow.

When you are doing your best to help people become the best version of themselves through both tools and strategies you have learned, as well as the mistakes you have made, seeing the ugly in humanity can be dispiriting to say the least. I am sure the same holds true in whatever career you are in. Even life in general. The other day I held the door for an elderly gentleman who proceeded to enlighten me with what he found offensive about my appearance. Crazy things like this happen to all of us. It can be hard not to let this affect you.

Was I tempted to think, “I am never opening doors for anyone again!”? Not really. Maybe for that gentleman. Even that isn’t necessarily so. He was an elderly man. There could have been a million things going wrong in his life. He could have been facing a health challenge. That tends to happen more the older we get. He could have just lost someone he cared about. That is another event that happens with greater frequency as we age. Who am I to judge? Those who are the cruelest are often the ones who need our kindness the most. The worst thing we can do is allow their cruelty to affect our kindness. First, as pointed out earlier, we do not know what makes them the way they are. If we were in their exact situation, we may act the same. Second, and more important, is there may be someone else out there who is depending on your kindness. Someone who is just hanging on. Allowing someone to take that away may cost the world more than just your kindness. It may cost everything to someone depending on that kindness. Never let the ugly in others kill the beauty in you.

BE THIS KIND OF PERSON

There is so much good stuff to unpack in this quote. It is true that the world seems bent on gaining your 15 minutes of fame. Often, just for the ability to be famous. Many do not apply that fame to anything worthwhile. The truth, as revealed in this quote, is that you do not have to be famous. You do not have to even be seen, popular or well-known. One of the most powerful things you can do to stand out is to be kind. Be the kind of person who makes people smile.

When I mention this to others, they often reply with a little bit of sarcasm. “How Mr. Rogers of you.” I hear. One lady even looked at me and replied in a bit of a condescending manner, “Nobody smiles anymore.” Despite her tone, she wasn’t wrong. This is exactly why we need to do it more often. The examples of making cashiers smile, waiters laugh and lonely people feel seen, that is world-changing stuff. So many people do the opposite. That is why kindness not only makes you rare, it makes you extraordinary! Kindness is even more valuable and treasured due to the fact it is so rare.

If you feel the need to stand out, do so by being kind. There is very little competition and the payoff is creating a world that is a brighter place for us all. The world needs more of that. The world needs more of your kindness.

THANKS TO JEFF!

Yesterday morning I stopped at a local Starbucks for a cup of coffee. The gent ahead of me, a middle-aged man, spun at looked at me and yelled, “I thought you were buying coffee!” Never met the man before, but I did admire his pluck. He seemed like a rather jovial gent and I had a few extra bucks, so I bought the man’s coffee.

He went on to introduce himself as “Jeff from Saint Louis”. Informed me his construction company was building a bank across the street. He told me when he travels he likes to get gift cards for random people such as servers and flight attendants. We both mused how good it feels to treat a stranger to a little hospitality. He shook my hand and excused himself back to his construction site.

I approached the counter and after a few minutes of banter with the manager, placed my order. As I presented my app for payment she grinned. “Jeff paid for your coffee.” She said. What do you know? That sneaky Jeff. Ran off before I was able to thank him.

Here is the fun behind this story. Jeff and I will probably never meet again in life. In a matter of a few weeks we might not even remember we met. However, both of us gave each other an unexpected smile. A simple act of reciprocal kindness that made each other’s day. It is how the world, and the people in it, should operate 

Next time you have the chance, pay for someone’s coffee, or muffin or whatever. It might cost you a few bucks, but the unexpected look of joy on a stranger’s face will bring joy to both of your hearts!

RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS DAY 😇

Today is random acts of kindness day. It is our chance to make the world a brighter place for each and everyone! Don’t think that one act of kindness could make a difference? There are over 8 billion people in the world! Imagine if just 1% of them did a random act of kindness. That would be 80 million people doing a random act of kindness. Let us say that act only affects 1 person. That brings us to a total of 160 million people being positively affected! Consider the ripple effect and you can’t begin to imagine how big this could get. All that from one simple act of kindness.

It can be hard to decide what kind of act of kindness to do. Above are some great ideas! These are certainly not the only things you can do. They are just to get you thinking. One thing we can notice is how many of them will positively affect far more than just one other person. Consider one of my favorites, picking up litter. It may not give you that initial boost of dopamine that a personal interaction could, but imagine how much you could improve the world! Using our numbers above, say the 1% just picked up 3 pieces of litter. That would get rid of 240 million pieces of trash! Think of that much garbage removed from the streets and sidewalks of the world. Can you imagine if each person just did a small grocery bag full?

Let us take a quick look at some of the others. Donate to a food pantry. That is a good one! According to the all wise Google, the average American throws away between 219 and 400 pounds of food each year! That is crazy. That amount is equivalent to 30-40% of the total food supply in the country. Imagine if that food went to people who were struggling. My mother donates to her church’s food pantry. I often think of the good that does. Not only does it allow for the feeding of people who are down on their luck, often through no fault of their own, but their children as well. It also shows those individuals that someone they don’t even know cares. That will give them faith in themselves and humanity. What you donate to a food pantry could help several families, not to mention children. Again, just using the 1% figure, can you imagine the impact that could have?

All these ideas above are so good that I am going to try several of them! Start the math on that. If the 1% did 2 or even 3 random acts of kindness! Buy someone’s coffee. How great would you feel if a stranger just paid for your coffee? hand a bird feeder? Helping out our feathered friends. Put a book in a little free library? Another great one is giving a good review. How many business have the headache of dissatisfied customers telling everyone about an issue they may have had? As a business owner myself, I can tell you how amazing good reviews feel and help! (In case you want to jump on that go to http://www.amazon.com/author/neilpanosian) I could go on and on about each one of these.

How about you? What is your favorite random act of kindness to do? What would you like to see others do? Let us spread this message and get as many people involved as we can!

CHANGE THE WORLD THIS HOLIDAY SEASON 🎄

You may be tempted to dismiss today’s post. That would be a huge mistake. In the photo above lays the secret to changing the world. Yes, those little acts of kindness will change the world. I have written several times about the difference some of these acts can make. Think of the shopping cart example. How can returning one shopping cart make a difference? Considering how much danger the ignorant and lazy souls who leave their carts in the middle of the parking lot cause, the difference can be substantial. Even just returning your cart adds up. If you shop once a week, that is 52 carts a year. If you live with a baker like I do, it could be 3 times a week which is 156 carts a year. That is roughly how many carts a grocery store has.

We have written about picking up trash before. Once piece of trash a day makes for 365 pieces a year! If you don’t think that makes a difference, put 365 pieces of garbage in your living room and see how it looks. If you and your best friend do these things, that is 730 pieces of trash! What a cleaner community you would have! Trash and shopping carts are one thing, but people are entirely a different matter. We have discussed how to improve our world with small changes, now let us look at a more direct course of action.

The first suggestion is to tip your server. Tipping these days has become a little over the top. There seems to be an ‘opportunity’ to tip everywhere. It makes me glad there are no longer men’s room attendants. It is just one of a million ways to show small acts of kindness to people. The holiday season is stressful for a lot of people. Especially those in retail. This only creates a great opportunity to show a little kindness. It is also the time that our kindness means the most and will have the greatest impact. Thinking showing kindness to just one person wouldn’t make a difference? It reminds me of the starfish story we wrote about some time ago. In case you did not read that post, or just do not remember the details, the story can be found below.

This holiday season practice as many acts of kindness you can. It is not only a great gift for the world and for others, but it will be a great gift for your own soul. Share any ideas you may have for acts of kindness we can engage in this holiday season.

CONFUSE PEOPLE. IT WILL MAKE BOTH OF YOUR LIVES BETTER 🫤

My first post as a 48 year old! This is something fun we can all do that is not only amusing, but will give you that quick feel good shot in the heart that we ask need. It is something I enjoy doing whenever I get a chance and remember.

It is simple. Show a random act of friendliness to a stranger. Wave at a fellow motorist as if they were a friend you were happy to see. It will do one of 2 things. It will confuse them and leave them wondering who the heck you are, or it will have them waving back feeling happy to receive an act of kindness from that strange person in the car next to them.

Another great idea is to smile at strangers. If this makes you nervous you can do this as you are walking past them. That way there is not room for awkward conversations. My mother takes it another level and even greets people as we walk by them. It is amazing how many people are longing for pleasant interactions. Those who are not might be the ones who need it the most.

Let us make treating each other with genuine kindness the rule and not the exception. We are all in this together. We are all fighting our own battles and could all use a little encouragement.

WHO CARES IF YOU DON’T SEE IT?😳

I love this picture! Not only am I a big fan of Winnie-the-Pooh, but the quote is right on point. In a social media, look at me type world, people crave recognition for what they do. It never fails to amaze me what some will do for 15 minutes of fame.

Even kindness can come with the desire for recognition. What we must realize, is often we might not see the results of our kindness. A while ago, we discussed the butterfly effect. In a nutshell, it says that seemingly small,insignificant actions can have a ripple effect creating big outcomes.

I have heard countless stories of famous people who received an act of kindness that allowed them to display their talent. I recall a story about a Jewish couple buying a trumpet for a troubled youth. He went on to be Louis Armstrong, the famous jazz musician. His albums have brought joy to millions over generations. This never would have happened if not for that random act of kindness.

For every one story you hear like this about someone famous, there are countless stories from people who you may never hear about. Your kindness may not inspire the next jazz legend. Then again, it might. It might make someone’s day. It might help heal the pain they are hiding. It might just save their life.

Just because we do not see the payoff for our kindness, does not mean we should not give it. Our kindness always makes a difference. Give it freely.

IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE, JUST DO IT!😳

Yesterday was April Fools Day. Often, this day can leave people feeling belittled or, as the name of the holiday suggests, foolish. I think we should make April second, Random Kindness Day. Not just for those who might be suffering from an April Fools joke that might have hit a little deeper than intended, but from all of those carrying a burden.

We rarely, if ever, know the complete story behind someone’s tears or their smile. We should not have to. There is no such thing as a struggle free life for any of us. There is also no such thing as a person who couldn’t use a little more encouragement. This day, be a little extra kind to everyone you meet. You never know which one of us could use it the most.

On a side note, I’m currently in the country of Jamaica. A lot of people here live at or below the poverty level. If nothing else,I can offer them respect and encouragement. I want to leave each person I meet with a little more joy in their heart than before I came. Shouldn’t that be the goal for everyone of us?

THE PEBBLE EFFECT 🌊

I trust many of you have heard of the butterfly effect. In case you haven’t, it is the idea that a simple action (a butterfly flapping its wings) can have an effect on greater systems (contributing to a typhon). I’m not sure about all of that, but I am sure that our actions create a ripple effect.

I prefer the ‘pebble effect’ when you toss a small pebble into water, the effect is the rings that spread out from the point of impact. That’s how I view the impact of our actions. Whether they be good or bad, our actions have an effect outside of the point of impact. Make someone angry by cutting them off in traffic, they may then drive more aggressive causing an accident down the road. Make someone happy, they may continue to spread the act of kindness to others.

Just like the ripples in the water, the effect of our actions diminish the further from us they get. Throw one pebble into a pond and you would not get much effect. Throw several and you start to disturb the surface of the water. Throw a bucket full and you create a great deal of change.

In our real world example, more pebbles can be accomplished one of two ways. We can commit random acts. If we cut everyone off in traffic, we will create a street of aggressive drivers. We start doing random acts of kindness for all of our coworkers, and the office becomes a lot more pleasant of a place to work.

The other way to create vast amount of change on the surface of the waters of life, is to recruit others to throw some pebbles in with you. I recall when I was in high school, we did a thing called a “river clean up”. It amounted to the entire class pulling garbage out of a nearby river. By the end of the day, the river was a lot cleaner. Certainly, one person picking garbage out of the river would have helped, but the impact would have been less and taken a lot longer.

Again, it is important to know this works both positively and negatively. Hitler did not work alone and neither did Martin Luther King. They both had people ‘standing on the shore, throwing pebbles’ with them.

The last thing I want to share with you about the ‘pebble effect’ is that it diminishes with time. Just like the ripples from the pebble will eventually fade, so will the effects of our actions. That is why it is important to act with love, compassion and kindness as often as you can. Why not try the “30 days of kindness” chart above?

CONFESSION – I’M SELFISH. ADVICE – YOU SHOULD BE TOO 🫨

I wanted to share a recent Facebook post I had. Before we get to that, I need to clarify why I am sharing this. It is a great example of how we can both make a stranger’s day, thus improving our world just that little bit more. As a bonus, you will see how this also can improve your life as well. To recap – you will be improving a stranger’s day, making the world a little brighter place, all while giving yourself a great feeling! Forget a win/ win situation. This is a win/win/win situation!

Here is the experience I posted about several days ago.

Further proof that doing something for others can be the most selfish thing you can do. I’m sitting here writing ✍️ and a little old lady walks in. She looked overwhelmed, confused and a little bit scared. She had obviously never been to a Starbucks before. The manager patiently explained everything to her. After some initial confusion, she seemed to grasp it. As i listened, an urge overtook me. As the manager rang up her coffee ☕️ and doughnut 🍩, I said, “let me get this young lady’s order”

Not sure what possessed me to do so. I guess I didn’t want her to think a coffee shop, or the world was a scary place. Funny thing, she may have gotten a coffee and doughnut, but I got a really good feeling knowing I might have made her day better.

Do something kind for a stranger. It may be the most selfish thing you do all day. ❤️

Something as simple as helping an elderly lady who was scared and confused improved her day, my day and made the world a little brighter for both of us. You may think you are doing the other person a favor, but really you are doing yourself, and the world at large, the bigger favor.

The great thing is these opportunities are around us every day! All we have to do is begin looking for them. Holding the door for the person behind you. Returning your shopping cart instead of leaving it in the middle of the parking lot. Taking advantage of the countless volunteer opportunities. Do a good deed today!