Tag: positivity

THE JOY OF TECHNOLOGY

This is an interesting post for me. On days I view technology as a necessary evil. We are all aware of the problems technology causes. Distracted drivers, people losing the ability or desire for personal contact. The inability to remain present. I am as guilty as anyone. Checking my Facebook or LinkedIn instead of striking up conversations with people in the waiting room. The thought of a day at the beach or in the woods with no cell phone, just nature is one I relish.

Still, technology does a lot for us. This was brought to my attention with an awesome person in my neighborhood. A wonderful lady who lives just a few blocks from me was telling me how she wishes for a time like I described above, just nature, those we love and our thoughts. This neighbor, Linda, has some of the most insightful thoughts on my blogs, and gives me great encouragement and motivation to keep working. She shares stories from her life that often parallel what my blog is about, or sometimes even contradict it. This is a great blessing because it causes me to approach the subject from a different angle. We have lots in common. We both like nature, coffee and have amazing people in our lives that love to cook for us. Here is the funny thing about Linda and I, we have never met.

Linda and I began to interact on a neighborhood app called ‘Next Door’. For two people who are fairly keen on taking breaks from technology, I am sure grateful it brought us together. In fact, recently I have had the pleasure of actually meeting some neighbors in person that I may have never met if they did not see my lovely Margie and myself on Next Door first. Andrew, it was great running into you at the grocery store, and Laura I look forward to running into you again at the Peanut and Jelly Deli next time Margie and I are there.

You see as I was thinking of how many amazing people I have met through these apps, and how I look forward to meeting them in person. Not to mention, ‘meeting’ each other online first increases the likely hood of a conversation when we run into each other in person. Something that may never happen without technology. To that end, technology has actually increased personal interaction. When I factor that in with the fact that these apps, along with others have allowed me to share my thoughts and positivity with many more people than I could on my own, I am indeed grateful. Therefore sites like Google +, Facebook, Word Press, Twitter and others all have their place. It is realizing that balance between interacting online and in person.

This week let us appreciate technology and focus on how it can bring us closer. Let us do this while still focusing on fostering our personal interactions. Not to mention when you are having a tough day, there is nothing better than a cute silly picture from the one you love. Trust me on this one. Margie has mastered the art of sending pictures that both melt my heart and bring a smile to my face!

WHY IS THE RUM ALWAYS GONE?

Below you will find a great video Margie and I filmed recently. In it I explore my thoughts on the “is the glass half full/or half empty?” I would encourage you to watch it and let me know your thoughts

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO

PRAYERS TO THE DEVIL

Oddly, having a blog post titled prayers to the devil seems rather fitting on a Monday. Before you fear this has anything to do with evoking the dark lord, let me reassure you that is not what we are speaking about here today. What we are going to talk about is complaints which Bob Marley referred to as ‘prayers to the devil’. Which I must confess I find a fairly accurate description.

Are complaints really that bad? Let us stop and take a look. Frist, so we are all on the same page, let us define what a complaint is. To me a complaint is a negative observation about a person, place or thing with no intent on finding a solution or remedy. This is different from merely observing a situation that needs improving and voicing that while pondering what can be done to make the situation better. Forms of complaining can range from mood-killing banter to gossip. Yes, gossip is a form of complaining. I don’t recall every hearing negative gossip about someone that included a plan to assist them in getting better.

Are they really so bad we should compare them to the devil? What do complaints do? By voicing their negative opinions out loud it increases the focus on the person sharing them. We all know where focus goes, energy flows. Therefore, the persons negative mood will only increase as they share this negativity with others. What about the others? Hearing what is wrong in the lives of people they know can at the very least kill the good vibe buzz one might be feeling. If the person receiving the complaint is already in a bad mood it will only serve to sink them further. As you can see complaining will only serve to foster a negative atmosphere. If you think of something that can poison the souls of most it is shared with and bring the one sharing even lower, I can’t imagine many things worse.

Understand I am not saying if you see something you do not like, or have a bad experience that you have to keep it to yourself. Not at all. What I am saying is when you tell someone about it, think about why you are. Let’s say someone is asking your opinion on an Italian restaurant you don’t care for. Instead of saying, “That place sucks!” or worse beginning to list everything you dislike about it, try following it with a solution. Wouldn’t you rather hear this? “I didn’t really like that place, but the bistro down the street is really good.”

We all know people that when asked, “How is it going?” will proceed to offer a list of every social and medical malady they have faced since the age of five. How do you feel after even a brief conversation with someone like that? On occasions when I have the unfortunate circumstance to converse with someone who is determined to find the cloud in a blue sky there are two things I do. First, I turn it into a game to avoid their feelings rubbing off on me. I ask them what is good in their life at the moment. Sometimes I point out things that they have to be grateful they may have overlooked. If the situation seems right I may even share one of my corny jokes with them. Then, I go directly home and take a shower. Now I am keenly aware that the shower does not actually wash the emotions from my being, but as the water flows over my skin I close my eyes and imagine the negativity flowing off me. Some days that is enough, some days I have to exfoliate.

We all have times we need to vent and get things out of our system. I am as guilty as the next person. When you are done, however, consider what can be done to change what you are lamenting. If you can’t think of anything ask for a solution and focus on something to be grateful for while you are awaiting an answer. Think of how listening to complaints make you feel before you share them with others. Remember where your focus goes, your energy flows.

STAY ON THE SUNNY SIDE OF THE STREET, EVEN IN THE RAIN

This is a picture Margie took of me driving on my way to write. Selfies while driving can be dangerous.

As noted in an earlier post, I have been trying to find things to be grateful for, or things I love while driving. This has not only put me in a better mood, but alerted me to many things on my travel I may have missed. I’ve noticed sounds I love, scents I love. Green lights I’ve been grateful for.

Today on the way to the gym the sun was shinning bright and I was really grateful for that. As I was talking to myself about this (many people probably think I’m on the phone, but really just talking to myself) I noted how everything looks better when it is sunny out. Especially in the Wisconsin winter.

Then I had a strange revelation. The things I were looking at were the same, they were just in the sun. That in itself is not that impressive. As I continued my conversion with the charming author in the car, I realized how much this resembles life. If we bring a positive or sunny attitude you life things look a lot better than if we bring a gloomy or negative attitude. Even if life itself doesn’t change, the way we view it can make all of the difference.

From this point forward I’m going to do my best to stay on the sunny side of the street, even when it is raining.

3 STEPS TO TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND

Below is a link to a video I did that will get you on the fast track to a life you love! 3 easy steps you can take today!

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE VIDEO THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

THE POWER YOU UNLEASH

Above are pictures of water molecules after being exposed to certain emotions. They are part of ground-breaking research done by Dr. Masaru Emoto. If you have a few minutes, I definitely recommend reading a little of his research.

To bring you up to speed on a nutshell, Dr. Emoto subjected vials of water to human emotions both positive and negative. The results are what you see above. That is pretty interesting. Then he gathered a group of people and did the same for the largest fresh water lake in Japan. The results? The same as above. That is very interesting. For his third experiment her gathered an even larger group of people and had them send out love to all the lakes around the world. When samples were taken at that moment by people stationed around the globe. The results? You guessed it same as above. How interesting is that?

You may be thinking, “Cool water experiment Neil. I get it, bad vibes make water bad, good vibes make it good, who cares?” If our thoughts can have that effect on water, even halfway around the globe, what do you think it will do to the human body which, as you may know, is about 60% water? Here is something even more intense, the brain 73% water. The lungs? 83% water. What happens when we get stressed or have an argument with someone? Headaches? Shortness of breath?

The good news is it works the opposite way. What to help a friend feel Better? Sending them love can really make a difference, and now you have scientific proof!

ONE OF MY FAVORITE THOUGHTS

This is one of those thoughts that would be worth printing out and hanging up somewhere. Using the law of physics to explain how something cannot bother you unless it gets inside you is very helpful.

Whether it is an unpleasant coworker, the evening news or any other circumstances that we face, it is important to realize their effect on us is also determined by us. It used to be when I would see or hear something that goes against something I passionately believe in, I would find myself growing ever so upset. It was like a volcano with the lava slowly working its way to the surface. At some point it would have to erupt. That could have been in a discussion with a friend, or even an online post. I realized I had become one of those people. You know the ones, the kind that end up speaking in a very loud voice about some injustice they see in the world. The problem with that is two-fold. First, the person you are venting to can rarely, if ever, do anything other than commiserate with you on the same subject. The second problem is what those feelings do to you. Let us look at a quote to meditate on.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned” – Buddha

Let us think about that for a moment. Take the recent political climate and the anger and division it has fostered. If we go around complaining about politicians without doing anything else, only one thing will change. We will feel terrible, dismayed for the future and could possibly end up physically ill. Instead, if we focus on doing whatever small part we can to foster a solution, even something little as saying ‘hello’ to a stranger who is different from us, we will not only not let the anger affect us negatively, but we will be a part of the solution and not the problem.

How did I manage to turn my own situation around? By seeing the challenges as opportunities. Sounds kind of cliche, but it is true. As an author and motivational speaker specializing in happiness and stress reduction when I see someone stressed out and unhappy I have two choices. I can see that as a sign the world is negative and give up, or I can see it as an opportunity to help and that there is still a need for my services and a chance for me to help someone improve their life.

Just as the ship uses the water, that could sink it, to propel it forward. It uses something that could bring it down, and by virtue of not allowing it to get inside of it, literally rises above it. A lesson we could all use.

IT IS IN YOUR BLOOD

Not only does this statement ring true for me, as my blood type really is B+, but deep down I believe inside of each of us is a joyful soul.

I know a few of you may be rolling your eyes thinking of somebody you know. Maybe the person at work whose cubicle could be dubbed the ‘black hole’ due to the lack of light in their demeanor. Maybe it is that friend who you swear looks forward to sharing all that is wrong in their world? Perhaps there is a gentleman you occasionally run into when you are out that takes pride in being a jerk? Maybe even that family member who… well you know your family better than I do. We all have the one family member who drives us crazy.

So how can these people have a positive person inside of them? More importantly, for the love of all that’s good, why do they choose not to let them out? I think it comes down to two reasons, ignorance and fear.

Most people, unlike yourself, do not take advantage of informative and entertaining blog such as this. They simply are unaware of how to change their life. When they do have glimpses of solutions, without knowledge of the science behind them, they can’t comprehend how and why the information may help them. This being the case, they may be quick to dismiss any chance for improvement and continue along their negative path.

Then we have fear. The Power that paralyzes more people then anything else I can think of. How can fear make you act like a jerk? When you raise your standards for yourself and your life, there is a certain amount of responsibility that goes with that. A lot of people are afraid they cannot live up to their own standards. Instead of learning, and persistent effort at improvement they lower their standards. Some may even cover up this fear with a sense of bravado. I have even heard one man brag about what a jerk he was. I just sat back thinking, “No, you are gutless.” Step up and admit your faults and begin to work on them. It is not an easy thing to be positive and compassionate. As we discussed in our post about Martin Luther king Jr on Monday. Understanding those who treat you or others harshly suffer from fear and ignorance, often both, may help you view them and there behavior with more compassion.

Being positive takes courage and hard work, but I would not wish to live my life any other way. If you come across someone who’s blood type is not “be positive” perhaps what is needed is a transfusion of kindness.

A SIMPLE FORMULA

I am forever searching for simple things the average person can do to improve the quality of their life. It is my passion. It was what found me writing a book titled A Happy Life for Busy People.

That is why I like the formula above – keep your gratitude higher than your expectations I would, however, add a caveat to that. I encourage people to expect good things to happen to them. Why? Because eventually they will. Sure, bad things will happen too but allow me to explain the difference.

When we expect negative things to happen to us, we walk around with a feeling foreboding and dread. If something good were to happen to us we wouldn’t enjoy it because we would be busy telling ourselves “Sure things seem good now, but just wait something bad always happens to me.” Imagine how you would feel with self-talk like that!

When we expect good things to happen to us, there exists a feeling of hope and, well… positive expectation. If we are expecting a positive thing to happen and along comes something negative we can just say to ourselves, “Well that wasn’t the positive thing I was expecting. It must still be on its way”

You might find yourself thinking “Wait a minute! In both examples good and bad things happened! It’s really just the same.” You would be exactly right. Good and bad things happen to everyone in some degree, but notice the difference in feeling when you change your expectations.

Then…. you add what I think is truly a superpower – gratitude. If you can remain grateful while keeping a positive expectation, you will find yourself in possession of more joy and happiness than you have known in quite some time.

As a of fact, I’m going to print this picture out and keep it in my car! I encourage you to do the same.

GRAB YOUR CAMERA

When people hear that I am a self-improvement author and motivational speaker a lot of them imagine what I do as being a lot of positive thinking and Pollyanna. Although having a positive attitude is important it is a result of what I learn, not the goal of. When you are living a more productive, less stressful life of course you will tend to be more positive.

Please do not misunderstand what I am attempting to say here. Your attitude is of vital importance. The right attitude can make you unstoppable. The wrong attitude can leave you whipped before you even begin. How we develop the former and stay away from the latter is the million dollar question. The most important thing we can learn about attitude is that it is something in our life that is 100% up to us.

Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% what we do with it. We have all heard of people coming from the worst circumstances and using that to propel them to never have to live like that again. We also know people who give up on life because they were ‘born on the wrong side of the tracks’. What is the difference between these two? The difference is attitude.

A lot of what I do is help individuals deal with stress. The first thing I help them do is to develop a change in focus. You already have went through, or are even currently going through the stress, now it is your choice to either succumb to it, or put it to work for you. As cliché as it sounds, you can either become bitter or better. It is changing from a mindset that involves merely surviving, to one that is working towards thriving. The fact that you went through the pain once is bad enough. If you do absolutely nothing with it, that is allowing it to hurt you twice.

One tip I offer people who attend my seminars, and is in my upcoming book that I will give you here as well is to write down two simple questions on an index card. Doing this will do more to help you develop a positive attitude than almost anything I know. What are these two amazing questions? Glad you asked. They are as follows –

  1. What else can this mean?
  2. How can I use this?

These two questions can turn any situation into an advantage for you. If you try to come up with as many positive answers to both of them as you can you will have begun to transform your life. This does not happen overnight and will take a bit of effort, but the rewards will be an unstoppable attitude.

I ask that you share your ideas for creating a powerful attitude and focus in the comments below. The more ideas we have, the more likely we are to be successful.