Tag: positivity

A BETTER LIFE MADE EASY…ER

To change your life for the better I am going to give you a secret. When life and is challenges seem overwhelming I am going to give you a secret. When your ups are few and your downs are plenty, there is a secret.

So by now you must be wondering what is this secret? I will share that with you in a second, but first let us all get on the same page here. Have you ever looked at one area of your life, or perhaps even your life as a whole and become overwhelmed with the amount of things you would like to change? Perhaps you would like to quit smoking, but you also want to lose weight, but you would like to begin working on that book you have always wanted to write, but you also would like to spend more time with your family. Whew! Even typing that was exhausting. Still that is how most of us feel. As the years go by the things we would like to change keep piling up. It can seem too large of a task to even begin. So how to do this and make it as fun and painless as possible? I have the answer.

First of all understand you never eat your whole dinner in one bite. What does that mean? When you eat dinner you take a bite of this, then a bite of that. Before you know it you have finished your entire meal. Life is much like this. We must take one step at a time. You could no more climb a mountain in one leap that transform your life over night. So what is the secret? How can we do this and how can it not seem like such a struggle?

The answer is almost revealed in the picture above. I think they actually have it backwards. If we are forever trying to ‘cut this out of our life’ or ‘stop doing that’ life can seem not only like a struggle, but like we are always sacrificing and giving up things in our lives. That does not sound fun at all. I propose the opposite. Make small changes to your life a little at a time. Interested in being healthier? Instead of saying I have to give up candy and soda try adding a salad or some healthier snacks. Try adding water in addition to the soda you are drinking. Eventually when you start seeing progress and momentum you will be more motivated to add even more. Want to have a more positive outlook? Instead of focusing all of your energy on stopping complaining, try focusing on adding compliments and gratitude. This will not only seem like less of a struggle, it will be a lot more fun. The great thing about this approach is the negative things in your life will begin to fade away naturally. One of the best ways to get rid of something negative in your life is by adding something positive. Try this in every area of your life and feel free to let us all know how it works for you.

DAILY STAY CATION 

Tonight my lady and I visited a traveling beer garden in a local park. What does this have to do with an amazing life? A lot. At this event there were people from all over the community. There was a local band and a local place serving snacks. It was a great way to connect with people in your community which is great for making friends and reducing crime. They were even drinking which made my humor more amusing. 

We hear all the time how neighborhoods are not like they used to be. How people don’t come together anymore. How people don’t feel a sense of community. The only way to change this is to start ourselves. This weekend look for events in your community. Meet your neighbors. Introduce yourself. Do your part to take back your neighborhood. 

Feel free to post events you enjoy attending and any other ideasyou may have for bringing a community together

WHY THE DOG IS HAPPIER

Although this picture pretty much says it all, there are some important points to touch on. The first is obvious, the dog is only thinking about one thing which brings him a lot less stress. The man, as is so common in our world today is multi-worry-tasking. Yes, this is a term I just came up with, but it accurately describes what many people to today. Not only do we waste time worrying (which has zero transformational value) about one thing, quite often we have several worries on our mind all at once. What we do not realize is that we are not doing ourselves, or the situation any good by occupying our mind with what could go wrong.

Another more subtle point here is the dog is the only one present in the moment. They are both out it what appears to be a rather pleasant relaxing setting. The man, preoccupied with his thoughts, is unable to fully appreciate the good he is literally sitting in the middle of. The dog, however, is in the moment. His thoughts are on what is happening at that very second. My confession here is I am often the man myself. In this crazy world it is hard not to be mentally a million places all at once. There was a time I focused on just being in the now (see the post ‘Relish the now’ april 19th) My lady had a hot bath with scented salts, candles and wine all ready for me. I purposely noticed every detail, every sensation using every sense I could. Another thing I did was make sure my thoughts were not somewhere else. Next post we will explore how this can be a good thing, but for right now we will continue. Truth is I was doing all of this because I wanted to write a blog about the whole affair. That is the mind of a writer for you. Still what a great gift that was and the memory is so much more clear, and what a great memory that was.

So how can you begin to stay focused? How can you begin to limit all the mental chatter and needless worry? My number one recommendation is meditation. For those of you who think this involves hours of sitting in an odd position chanting think again. There are plenty of good books, cds and videos on simple meditations. In fact if you go to YouTube and search ‘guided meditation’ there will be several you can just listen to as they walk you through. Next, try journaling. I know I constantly suggest it, but truly giving your thoughts an outlet can often relieve them of their power and help your thinking become more clear. Lastly, and probably the most fun is watch the masters. Watch those who can remain focused on the now and stealing every ounce of joy out of the day. Who are these wise teachers? Pets and children. Watch kids on the playground. Watch your pets. See the joy they experience in the simplest of things. Feel free to share this with anyone who could enjoy life more if they could just live in the present. I believe it is a skill we can all work on.

2 THINGS ESSENTIAL FOR SUCESS IN ANYTHING 

In life, love, business and any other venture there are two things that are essential to possess if you hope to succeed. The only cost associated with them is time and effort. If you have these two things you are all but guaranteed to accomplish what you set out to do. Still most people begin projects,relationships and jobs without one or either of them. Some have a vague not powerful version of them. This leads to ‘treading water’ in situations.

Ok, so what are these two things and how can we all get them? They are a goal and a purpose, sometimes referred to as a ‘why’? Think about playing a game. If you did not know how to win or what outcome you were going after how likely would it be that you would win? How about going on a trip? If you didn’t know where you were headed how would you know if you are going in the right direction? In both circumstances the journey would be far more enjoyable if you knew the end game. 

Now on to the second thing, purpose or the why. Having a goal or an outcome we are going towards is a great start, but what happens when obstacles show up? What separates the people who give up from the people who keep going? It is their why.  To say you want to be rich,  for example, will only keep you motivated so long. Focusing on the freedom the money will give you, or all the sick children/animals you could help. Now that will keep you going. 

Here is the takeaway, next time you find yourself on the way to meet a friend for coffee ask yourself “what do I hope to get out of this meeting?”. Perhaps it is to convey how much you enjoy your friend’s company. Perhaps it is to thank them for being a good friend. Maybe it is just to relax and and enjoy the great conversation your friend supplies. Now ask yourself why this is so important. Perhaps your friend knowing how much they mean to you will strengthen your friendship? Perhaps relaxing and enjoying conversation and coffee will allow you to face the world a little better tomorrow. 

If we know what we want out of our lives we are far more likely to get it.  It will also be easier to see when things need improvement. Imagine how much more successful our jobs, our relationships and our lives would be if we only spent a few moments of contemplation as to what we would like out of them and why that is important to us. Doing these two things will change our lives for the better and do so quickly. 

YOU NEVER KNOW WHO THEY MAY BECOME

This is a picture of the lovely lady in my life as a young child. Obviously I did not know her then. Still as a very young child she began to develop the amazing traits that led her to become the amazing woman I now share my life with.

What is the point of all this? One, my lady was cute even then. More to the point children’s future can be greatly determined by their formative years.  That is why they are called ‘formative’ as the person they will end up as is being formed. Sure there are those who can overcome a traumatic childhood. Break out of cycles of abuse and abandonment. Still it is far easier for them to face challenges and reach their potential when they start out with love and encouragement. Do not shelter your children but give them the tools and support to face the challenges life is sure to throw at them. 

What all this means for us is that we must pay close attention to the example we set for future generations. Not just as parents, but as responsible adults. Children watch and learn from everyone in their environment, not just Their parents. Do your part. As the saying goes “it takes a village to raise a child”. If it’s done correctly you end up with an adult like the one who came from that adorable baby above. 

THE MAGIC KEY

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When I first saw this picture I thought “that is kind of redundant”. Actually it is quite profound. Seeing the best in the world, or the ‘glass half full’ is a good part of what keeps me happy. Does that mean denying the half of your glass that is empty? Not at all. It is merely focusing on the part that is full.

In my own life there have been countless situations that could certainly look terrible. If you need an example please see the previous post about the pigeon. I know that in life whatever you look for you will find. Stop and read that last line again, maybe even a third time. Let it sink in. This is really the key to both happiness and success in your life. If you are focused on what is working in your life and what there is to enjoy and be happy about you will find it. Truth is that it is there all along just waiting to be noticed.

My law of attraction friends will tell  you that whatever you focus on expands. I believe that, but I also believe this: the more you focus on something the better you get at finding it. It may seem like more of what you are focusing on is appearing, but I also think you are also noticing more of what is already there.

Why is this so important? Let’s recap. What you focus on both expands and you tend to notice that thing easier and more often. That means you get to choose what your life will be filled with! Want joy and prosperity? Start to look for all the opportunities for both joy and prosperity in your life. Now, before you say “Neil, I try but there are still problems” that is true, we need to focus on them only enough to develop and begin working on a solution. After that, switch to what you have to be grateful for.

If you are anything like me, you may still have some lingering doubts. That’s good, do not accept what I am saying without proving it to yourself. I have a little experiment for you. Try this for at least 3 days, more if you like. Pick a color you enjoy. Mine would be blue, but pick whatever color you like. As often as you can for the next couple of days try to notice all the things of that color when you enter a room. By about the end of the third day you should notice something. Things of your determined color seem to jump out at you. They seem to be all over the place. This experiment works easier because there is no emotion attached. Changing to a positive focus takes a little more work, but you can see how it will happen using this little activity. Do it with a friend. Compare your results and discuss them with each other. Share this post with others and get them involved as well. Remember you create your own life.

JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS!

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Many times in my life I find myself in situations where I do not come out on top. Almost always those situations leave me with a great lesson or at the very least a great story. This is just such a story.

During high school I had a friend named Matt. We are still friends, this just happens to take place when we were both in high school. Often we strolled home together and discussed life,love and our philosophy about them both. During one such conversation when I remarked what an amazing day I was having a pigeon, in what was surely an attempt to keep me humble or prove how good his aim was, decided to use me as his personal bathroom. After my companion had a chuckle at my expense we began to do our best to remove the memory of the bird.

Fast forward a few days later, the next time the two of us found ourselves walking the same path. As we passed a local historical society I saw…a pigeon. I calmly and politely asked Matt for a rock and informed him I was going to have pigeon for dinner.

His response is one I will never forget. He looked me dead in the eye and said “you can’t hate all pigeons because one pooped on your head. That’s like racism”. After giving him a look that most have looked like a mix of insanity and confusion, I stopped looking for a weapon, shrugged my shoulders and walked on.

Other than providing you with a bit of humor in your day, this story serves a purpose. When someone treats me harshly I am reminded to look further to what may be behind their actions. I also do not judge the group based on the actions of the select few.

So next time you see a pigeon remember this story and remember to not hate any person (or bird) based on the actions of one.

Watch “THE JOURNEY OF LOVE” on YouTube

A speech I recently made at a friend’s wedding

BE A HERO

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I used to be a big fan of mighty mouse as a young child. His motto was “here I come to save the day”. I sent my lady this picture as I was on my way to pick her up from somewhere sure wasn’t thrilled to be. It was initially done to generate a smile from her and to be a joke.

Still as I look at this picture and think about it the picture gives us another lesson. When I picked up my lady I was saving her, albeit from stress and a bad day, but still I was saving her. I was, at that very moment, a hero. It made me feel good to be able to do. How many chances do you have in a day to be a hero? Can you do laundry so your spouse can get ready? Can you take out the garbage without being asked? Look for any opportunities to be a hero. As you are doing these things feel free to shout the mighty mouse motto as you do,  “here I come to save the day!”.

Save someone else’s day and share this post with them.

WHAT CHILDHOOD TEACHES ME EVEN NOW

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This is one of my favorite childhood characters. Harold is a little boy who draws stories to life with his purple crayon. I remember asking my mom to read these over and over again to me which she must have hated because there is only one line on each page. In the stories if harold ever becomes lost, scared or in trouble he simply draws his way out of it.

Here is the funny thing, years later when I began to study law of attraction and self-improvement books I realized the great parallel. In life when we become scared, lost or find ourselves in situations we do not desire it is up to us to draw up a solution. Sure it might not be as easy as using a purple crayon, but it is up to us to create our own reality.

So when you are faced with challenges, remember harold and draw up your own solutions. Perhaps you could even use a purple crayon! You may even want to pick up a book by Crockett johnson.