SEE THE GOOD!

Look at the Brightside! How many times in our life are we told that? Especially in dark times. I do not know about you, but when that is the lone piece of advice someone gives me when I am feel down I feel like pushing them down. Not exactly, but it is tough to hear and even tougher to do on a lot of occasions. We are often left saying, or at least thinking, “Don’t tell me to look at the Brightside when my life is full of darkness. Show me how to see the good!”

Seeing the good in life is made infinitely more difficult if you subject yourself to mainstream media. Nightly news, online sights, radio and newspapers all seem to fight over telling you the most dramatic and negative stories about the world around you. Fear sells, tragedy sells, and to some degree conflict and hate sell. Throw in an election like the one we have coming up here in the United States and all of that is only magnified.

What is needed in the world today are tools that will show us how to focus on what is right in the world in the face of conflict. Someplace that will not only shine a light on great examples of the positive aspects of life, but help us to find even more examples on our own. Readers of Secret2anamazinglife.com know that we are committed to bring you all of the latest tools that can help you from across the globe.

Enter the website See the Good You will find the link at the end of this post. I encourage you to add this to your list of daily reading. On this site you will find not only stories of positive inspiration, which we could all use more of in our lives, but tools to discover the joy and gratitude in your own life as well. I know I will be reading more from this site during the holidays and in the coming New Year. I encourage you to do the same!

CLICK HERE TO VIEW SEE THE GOOD

WORK IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT

Today is Halloween so I will share a scary story with you. As most of you know, I have a day job at the United States Postal Service. In addition to the monetary aspect, it also allows me to practice many of the tools I put forth here. I always strive to be a source of positivity and help my coworkers foster a sense of gratitude and joy. As a matter of course, I always welcome the mail carriers back when they return from their routes. I also routinely ask my coworkers if they are having a good day or having fun at the moment. A gentle reminder that while doing our best to get our jobs done, we can still focus on having fun. Most of the time this is met with some jocularity and on occasion, some comments of encouragement of their own.

There is one young lady, however, that seems quite sunshine challenged. When I inquired if she was having a good day she informed me in no uncertain terms that I should never ask her that as long as she is at work because the answer will always be ‘no’. After 21 years of working there, I am no stranger that the Post Office can supply some challenging situations, as can any job. There are days that are tough, and days that are not. I could not imagine going to some place every day where you know with certainty that you will have a bad day, and doing so voluntarily.

This young lady is a carrier on what they call a ‘rural route’. This means she seldom has to leave her truck and drives up to the mailbox to put the mail in. I think on a nice spring or fall day driving around in a rural setting listening to your favorite music all while getting paid a good wage could sound nice to some people. Sure, there are days when it is raining, or here in Wisconsin snowing, that I can imagine driving for several hours could be a drag, but not every day. How could this be?

The answer was supplied to me last Saturday. This young lady called me over to her case where she sorts her mail. She handed me the scanner all carriers use and said in a rather angry tone, “This is the f*&king sh*t I have to deal with!” I glanced at the scanner. On it was a warning to pay attention to the signs of heat stroke. On this day we were experiencing an early October snow storm. Ironic? For sure. Funny? I thought so. As far as something she had to put up with, I found a message that could easily be deleted and even laughed at to be not that big of a deal. Her perception was that everything was against her and that this was a large obstacle. When viewed through a filter of that nature any job will seem terrible.

This brings to mind a great reminder. We have the option to how we see things. We can find the humor, or we can find the frustration. We can find the gratitude, or the lack. We can find the joy, or we can find the pain. It is all up to us. When we look for the good in things it can transform our days and jobs into things we enjoy, or certainly do not dread.

THERMOSTAT OR THERMOMETER?

A thermstat verses a thermometer, which one are you? Obviously I am not speaking literally. Both of those devices are inanimate objects and could not be reading this article. In a more figurative sense, each one of us is either a thermostat or a thermometer. Usually we are a little bit of both. In order to better understand what I mean let us look at each device and the service they perform.

We will start with a thermometer. What is the function of a thermometer? It matters little difference if it is used for meat or medicine. The main purpose of a thermometer is to measure the temperature of its surroundings and read accordingly. It is what we would call a reactionary device. If the temperature is hot the thermometer will read accordingly. If the temperature is cold it will show that. The thermometer has little effect, if any, on what is is measuring. We all know people like this, don’t we? If they find themselves in a room full of people who are productive and happy, they will be productive and happy. If they are in a room full of people who would rather stand around and gossip than work, that is what they will tend to do. These people, much like a thermometer, have little or any impact on their surroundings. If you are looking for a leader you would not want a thermometer. If you are looking to be productive you would not wat to rely on a thermometer.

This is not to say there are not times when adapting your behavior to the situation is appropriate. You certainly would not want to wear a tuxedo to the corner tavern any more than you would want to show up at the opera in ripped jeans and a flannel shirt. There is a big difference between adjusting to the current social situation and changing the very essence of who you are. Let us look at our above example of being in a room filled with individuals more content to discuss the actions of others than to take any action themselves. In this case it would not be a good idea to adopt the current culture. What should we do if we find ourselves in just such a situation? That will bring us to our next point.

A thermostat. That funny shaped device on the wall that regulates our inner enviroment. How does a thermostat work? Simply put, if we set a desired temperature it will utilze the heating and cooling systems to acheive that temperature. Should the room drop to far below the set temperature the thermostat will engage the heating systems to warm the room to the desired condition. Should the temperature rise too far above the set number it will utilize the air-conditioning to bring it back down. The thermostat not only has a great impact on its enviroment, it actually sets the enviroment.

We all know people like this too, don’t we? There are people who can light up a room as soon as they walk in. There are also people who can bring everyone down with a simple conversation. In other words these people set their enviroments. I know a person who never seems to have a bad day. I asked him his secret and he told me quite simply, “I just decide to have a good day.” Much like the thermostat, he adjusts as the day goes along. If things start to go bad he kicks in his ‘heating system’ to bring the level of joy up. If he finds himself getting upset over traffic, the acts of a rude cowoker or anything else he turns on his ‘air-conditioning’ to relax and cool himself down. Thermostat people are action people. If they see a situation that does not suite them, they take actions to change the situation.

Ask yourself today if you are a thermostat controling your enviroment, or are you a thermometer just reacting to whatever the world is handing you. If the sun is out and traffic is great you are happy. If it is raining and the car won’t start you are unhappy. Why put control of your emotional well-being in the hands of other people and things. Be like my friend and decide to have a good day. If challenges do come up as they always will, ask yourself two very important questions, “What else can this mean?” and “How can I use this?” These two questions will allow you to be in control of your enviroment.

PICK YOUR WHAT?

In my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, I had a section titled “Pick your posse” which discussed the importance you should place on the people you choose to surround yourself with. I approach it again in my second book with an updated and expanded look. Again, look for that book to arrive February 2019. We are going to give it a fresh look today.

What exactly is a posse? Around the turn of the century a posse was a group of armed men on either side of the law that looked out for and protected each other. Sometime in the 1980s the hip-hop culture used this definition for the people in their ‘crew’ who also had each other’s back. In short, a posse is trusted associates who watch out for each other and share like-minded vision.

I cover the importance of carefully selecting these people in the afore-mentioned two books. Today I would like to discuss another benefit of having a posse. Napoleon Hill, great author and self-improvement guru referred to a posse as a ‘mastermind group’. Loosely defined, that is a group of people with their own unique talents that work together to work on a project or often projects. They pool their own talents with those of others in the group. This helps compensate for weaknesses some members might have.

This seems to all make sense, but there is something far more magical that transpires when a group of people get together to work on a project or common goal. Something else is created. When two people get together and share thoughts and ideas a third person is actually created. That person is the aggregate of the other two people’s thoughts and ideas. By putting their minds together they can accomplish far more that each of them working separately.

Working with positivity and in the field of self-improvement I noticed that those in this field do not work together often enough. It would seem each person is content on developing their own strategy for improving life. It is as if they are leaving the putting the different theories together up to the reader. If two accomplished members of the motivational community were to work together I believe we could discover many more ways in which the average individual could live a more positive and rewarding life.

Recently, I have begun such and undertaking. I joined a Facebook group called Truth for Thought (TFT) This group at its core is about spreading positivity and promoting productivity amongst people who are struggling to find their way. I was happy to share what knowledge I offer to that end on this site with the group as well. I was happily approached by one of the gentleman who run the group, Brian, who asked me to take a more involved role. Currently several of us are setting up a roundtable to discuss our pages and issues that we would feel would be beneficial to highlight. In other words, working together for the good of mankind. We will not only be teachers, but students of each other. Blending all of our knowledge together will most certainly lead to some brand new insights.

I recommend in any endeavor you are working on to form a mastermind group, or more colloquially, a posse, that can help you get there sooner. It doesn’t even have to be anything more formal than a group of friends all committed to the same goal. If Truth for Thought seems like a group you may be interested in, give them a look, as well as my Facebook group Fall in Love with Life for additional motivation and inspiration.

SHINE ON!

 

 

In my upcoming book Living the Dream there is a special section I have included towards the back of the book. This section is called ‘In the company of angels’ and for good reason. It includes stories of people that I know who have faced life challenges that would make most of us bitter at best, or throw in the towel and quit on life at worse. These wonderful people have not only avoided both, but have went on to be positive forces in their own right.

The stories range from having one of their parents killed in a mining accident and having to move clear across the country to being abused on several levels as both children and adults. Writing these stories was a bit of a struggle for me as I am used to writing material that uplifts and inspires. As I wrote and recalled all the situations my friends had relayed to me I felt their pain. I cannot imagine facing what some of them have.

Writing my way through them brought several positive things to me, however. First, I was grateful for all of the struggles that I didn’t have to face growing up. We were not rich and I came from a single-parent home, but we always had trips to the library, played games with other children in the neighborhood and always had enough to eat. After reading the stories I share in my book, growing up without a lot of money and only one parent seemed like paradise. I guess you could say it not only supplied me with a great deal of gratitude, but a new perspective as well.

Another thing it did for me was only serve to increase my respect for those brave individuals that shared their stories. The idea for including them in my book was to show real life examples of how people could face the worst situation and still manage to maintain a positive disposition. This was the reason I approached the people I did. What I didn’t expect was the details and amount of struggle they had went through. Learning how someone could overcome everything they did was worth its weight in gold. I am pretty sure most of us would not escape with such a healthy outlook as they had.

Knowing these people personally I can tell you that they genuine love life. That is not to say they do not have a bad day as we all do, but as a general rule they seem to appreciate the beauty of what surrounds them on a daily basis. The bravery they showed in coming forth and sharing their stories so that others may benefit from them was also not lost on me. They did so with no promise of any future reward other than the knowledge in their heart that their stories have helped others who are also struggling.

My suggestion to you is to learn the stories of your friends. Ask about their struggles. If you are blessed enough like I am to have brave friends who do not mind sharing what they have been through, do yourself a favor and listen. Understand how much courage it takes to be able to recall the pain of the past again. Admire their ability to stand strong in the face of a past that may haunt them or weigh them down. Appreciate their ability to shine even after all the storms they have been through. These to me are the true warriors.

Don’t forget to look for the book Living the Dream coming to bookstores next February.

 

 

REMEMBER WE ARE ALL IN THE PROCESS

It is no secret to anyone who follows this website and my work in general that I have spent over 20 years in the field of self-improvement. One thing that I must remind myself of every so often is the fact that not everyone else has. This may sound silly and an obvious point, but it can be a fact that gets away from me.

When I hear someone constantly complaining about how unfair life is or how terrible their life is, I am tempted to remind them how they do a great deal to create their own reality. We all have challenges great and small. That is part of life. It is really how we respond to life’s challenges that does a great deal to determine how life treats us. There are a lot of people who are ignorant to even that basic equation. I was fortunate enough to be raised in an environment where reading and thinking where encouraged. In the course of reading hundreds of books, listening to just as many CDs and videos as well as attending seminars and listening to as many people as I can I have learned a great deal.

One of the greatest challenges to me is having the patience and understanding to realize although most people have the opportunity to do the same, many have not. When I speak to people about ways they can reduce stress, increase joy and become the best version of themselves, I am often met with resistance and sarcasm. On a rare occasion even violent resistance. It would be easy to come off as condescending, but it serves as a great reminder of many things for me. First off, I am so grateful for all I have been given and all I have learned. My life is far from perfect, but I am constantly discovering new ways to reduce stress and have more happiness in my life. I am also grateful that I do have the life I do. I have friends who love me, a beautiful and loving lady, and supporters from over 100 countries who read what I write.

The second thing I am reminded of is everyone is working towards becoming the best version of themselves. If you don’t believe me, just walk into a gym shortly after the first of the year. Not everyone has the tools to successfully accomplish all they desire. That would be evident by visiting that same gym 30 days after the first of the year and noticing how many less people are there. Still, everyone is giving it their best shot. There are very few people I know who are not interested in improving their lives. Some do not understand the only way to do that is by improving themselves. That is the main focus of my second book.

Some really wish to improve themselves and their lot in life, but lack the necessary tools. Some do not even know where to look for those tools. That is why I am always happy to share what I learn and am still learning. There are those as mentioned earlier who even when given the tools will refuse to believe them. This could be because they have been raised in a negative environment or are so cynical that they are getting in their own way. Those are people I still try to help. Whether that is leaving a card for them when they are ready, or being an example of what it looks like to live life using the tools I put forth.

Let us all do our best to understand everyone is working towards a better life. Even those seemingly following the wrong path may just be misdirected or lacking hope and direction. When we understand that we are all doing the best we can it is far easier to approach others with compassion and a genuine desire to help.

99 SECONDS WITH NEIL EPISODE 16 – POSITIVE SOCIAL MEDIA

In this YouTube video you will learn the secret to changing your social media from a place of drama and negativity to one of positivity and inspiration.

If you enjoy this video, don’t forget to give it a ‘thumbs up ‘. If you would like to see these videos before anyone else, make sure to subscribe to my channel. If you have any feedback feel free to leave it in the comments

CLICK HERE TO WATCH 99 SECONDS WITH NEIL EPISODE 16

POSITIVE SOCIAL MEDIA

Daily we hear how much negativity and drama there is on social media. Just this afternoon at the post office I overheard a co-worker say, “I don’t go on Facebook there is too much negativity on there.”

I am always struck by the same thought – who decides what shows up on your social media page? The answer is you do! If you are thinking “Well I didn’t plan on Michelle posting a page long rant about how terrible life is!” You have a valid point. If, however, Michelle keeps posting one negative thing after another it may be time to remove her from your page. You can ‘hide’ her posts or delete her completely.

I discuss this more in my next book, but for the sake of brevity in this post, I’ll keep it simple. If you notice someone, or some group is a source of negativity and drama remove them. If, for some reason, you cannot (Let’s say it’s your relative or boss) then drown them out. What do i mean by that? As we discussed last post increasing positivity will decrease negativity. If crazy Eric’s posts are mixed in with motivational quotes, pictures of puppy dogs and other things that make you smile it is a little more bearable.

Search words such as happy or positivity and see what comes up. I recently joined several new groups like lightworkers of the world, love/light group, truth for thought, The 11:11 movement and others. I have already connected with great people and read some inspiring things.

Will this eliminate all of your social media woes? Of course not. Just this evening I had a fellow post several comments on my page that were angry and belligerent. Why? He did not like that my titles are in capital letters. There will always be fine folks like that. They help us practice our patience and compassion.

With a balance of inspirational and positive influences, your Facebook, Twitter or any social media outlet will become a source of escape instead of stress.

WHAT IS YOUR STORY?

This blog post created itself last night. After Margie and I had finished our Wednesday night show and found ourselves driving with our friend Kelly. We began sharing defining moments from our childhood that defined who we are today. It caused me to reflect on a few moments that I would like to share with you. More so, it made me think of something far more important that we will get to right after this moment of reflection.

For those of you who may have been reading my writings of late, I have shared the story of my senior year English teacher. On the final day before graduation, she pulled me aside and said in an almost pleading tone, “I pray to God you will never have a career involving writing.” Given the evidence up to that point I would have been inclined to agree with her, but here we are.

Another fun story involved a teacher I had for business. She was a kindly lady. She kind of reminded me of someone’s grandmother from a Norman Rockwell painting. My relationship with this wonderful woman was great. We laughed, smiled and shared many good conversations. I would have said I was the perfect student with one glaring exception. In this class it just so happened I was surrounded by friends of mine. It also happened these were friends that like conversation as much as I did. Daily we shared conversations about life, love and our pursuit of happiness. When the time came out for giving everyone a grade I still recall what this teacher wrote. Written next to my grade was the comment, “Neil will do a lot better in life when he understands you can’t make a living discussing life and its challenges with people.” Once again, here we are. Discussing life and how to positively approach and overcome its challenges. Granted you might be reading this in Greenland, South Africa or Fiji while I am here in West Allis, Wisconsin, but virtually we are engaged in this conversation.

Let me share a more comical example from my youth. Second grade I do believe. I had a good friend who had just moved away and I found myself in trouble for something. That part seems to remain vague. As punishment I was to stand with my back against the wall and watch the other kids enjoying recess and playing on the playground. Sounds a little cruel in hindsight but I guess it served as a lesson – almost. As I was standing there I thought of a joke. One of the kids walked by and I told him my joke. He thought it was so funny he went to bring other kids to hear it. Before recess was over I found myself doing what could be described as a forced stand up comedy routine.

I saved this example for last because it was by far the darkest example. I was part of a group called ‘peer helpers’ in high school. The program was designed to help students who were facing addiction, abuse or any other emotional trauma. To me it sounded like a great idea on the surface. It became apparent very quickly that I disagreed with the approach of the program. It seemed to approach the issues from that of the adults who formed the group and not of the youths facing the challenges. I soon politely left the group. All would have been ok with one exception. I really did have the desire to help and still talked to many of the kids I had met in the program. I tried methods I believed might reach them. This was especially true because most of them had stopped asking for help from the Peer Helpers program.

Again, this would have all been good, but my locker happened to be right across the hallway from the lady who was in charge of the program. Once she noticed that quite a few of the students who left her group were coming up to my locker and asking questions she stormed over. She issued what can only be viewed as a veiled threat. She yelled how dare I think I could help kids better than she could and I better stop what I was doing “or else.” I really wasn’t trying to do anything but help people the best way I thought I could. I continued to do so with a little more discretion. Two days before I was set to graduate I was summoned to the principle’s office. When I arrived the teacher was there along with several police officers. This teacher, this adult, this individual who is supposed to be an example told all of them I had threatened to physically harm her. Not only was that a total lie, but I had no malice towards this woman, merely a difference in philosophy. Luckily, with the support and sworn statements of my character from other instructors I had and her changing her story several times the matter was all but dropped.

What is the point of all of these stories? The point is that anyone of these stories could have had a very negative impact on my life. What made the difference is that I chose what they meant to me. My high school English teacher could have prevented me from ever starting this site which has close to 1000 posts. What she told me could have dissuaded me from ever writing my book A Happy Life for Busy People. My business teacher tried to convince me there was no future in listening to the challenges people face in life and trying to help create solutions, but that is the basis of all I do.

Through my punishment that day in second grade I learned the power of humor to reach people. I also learned that sometimes when the world seems to be taken away from you, the best solution is to make the world come to you. It is a theme that kind of plays throughout the videos on my YouTube channel. It also showed me new and wonderful ways to make friends. The lesson that if you can introduce your material to enough people it can really change your situation didn’t escape me either.

The final dark situation could have steered me in many different directions. I could have decided not to trust authority. Certainly learning that ego can override professionalism and make people act in ways they shouldn’t. I could have decided that it meant if I try to do things on my own in a way I feel will help the most people it will lead to trouble and could land me in jail. Of course it also showed me the value of displaying and acting with the best character and highest standards.

What is your story? What events have transformed your life? Have you let them decide what you can or can’t do? Are they putting limits on your life or are you using them to motivate you? The story of our lives should not be told through the mouths or actions of others. Realize you are not a victim of your past but a victor over it. You have made it to today despite what you have been told and what has happened to you. Do not let your past or those in it steal your power for a strong future. Find the empowerment in every challenge you have faced, or may now be facing.

99 SECONDS WITH NEIL – BEHIND THE SCENES

Above you will find some behind-the-scenes pictures from my new video series 99 Seconds With Neil There are some contemplative looks, some confused looks, a path that had been blocked by fallen trees and a few other gems. One day I may release an outtake video of what goes on behind the scenes, but until then this is as close as you will come to seeing what goes into the creation of this latest video series.
WHAT IS ’99 SECONDS WITH NEIL’ AND WHY SHOULD YOU WATCH?
Both great questions. It has been brought to my attention that blogs like you are reading can be a bit to lengthy for some. Due to the nature of the content, or the long-winded story telling of yours truly I can see where that might be true. Most of my blogs should take anywhere from 3 to 5 minutes to read. In todays world of technology and shortage of time many would rather watch a 5 minute video than read a 5 minute post. Personally, I am a fan of reading but I know many are not. The lady in my life being one of them. Margie has the unique benefit of having the author read each post to her before they are published.

99 Seconds With Neil does something similar for you. Every Saturday we look back on two blog posts from the week and spend 99 seconds recapping them. It not only allows you to get a new take on something you might have read, but helps you get the idea behind it in case you didn’t have time to read. It also allows you to hear in my own words and voice how I feel about the subject, thus, allowing you to get to know the man behind these words a little better.

The best way to have access to not only the 99 Seconds with Neil videos, but to the nearly 100 other informational videos on my YouTube channel featuring advice on a wide array of subjects as well as various special guests from other authors, politicians, musicians and many more is to subscribe to my YouTube channel ‘Neil Panosian’. There you will find all of this and be the first one notified when a new video is uploaded. You can do all of this by logging on to YouTube and searching Neil Panosian, or simply click on the link below. When you get to my channel, click on the red word ‘subscribe’ and you are done.

I look forward to serving you in both video and the written word as well as hearing your feedback on both

CLICK HERE TO BE A PART OF 99 SECONDS WITH NEIL