Tag: perspective

VANITY. IT CAN HINDER OR SERVE.

One of my favorite speakers is Inky Johnson. He often says that perception drives performance. Here is one example that came to mind – vanity. There are so many of us that use vanity as an excuse. I am too old to do this. I am not fit enough to do this. I am not smart enough to do this. It can prevent us from taking the steps we need to improve our life and give us the life we have been dreaming of. We must realize that what others think of us will never be more important than an opportunity to improve our own life. As the saying goes, “What you think about me is none of my business.”

That speaks to the first half of the picture above. The second half speaks to using vanity to push you to improve your life. Realizing that learning, working out or other things that may cause us to look foolish or lacking in the present may be necessary to improve our life in the future. Would you risk looking silly being the oldest person at the gym? As a 50-year-old that regularly hyperventilates on the treadmill, I can attest to this. If you let the fear of being the oldest person at the gym keep you from getting in shape, you might be forced with being comfortable being the youngest person at the nursing home.

This does not only go for fitness. It is true in learning as well. When we are first starting to learn something we often look foolish. If we are willing to suffer that lack of vanity, we will acquire the skills that will help us look, and be, intelligent in the long-run. Meditation is another arena that this is true. First starting out can seem foolish. Once we master it the benefits are insane.

Vanity, like many other aspects of life, can be a tool or an excuse. It all depends on your perspective. The same can be true of regret, fear and a million other emotions and conditions. It is our mindset and our attitude at the beginning of a task that has the greatest impact on its outcome. To quote Inky Johnson, “Our perspective will drive our performance.”

DO NOT MAJOR IN MINOR THINGS

I love this quote. I first heard Tony Robbins say it. “People major in minor things.” How true is that? It would seem when our basic needs are satisfied, our minds tend to focus on, and often get upset about things that will not even matter a year from now. In many cases, we cannot even recall what we were intensely upset about a mere 24 hours later. That may sound crazy to you, but think of how many times it has been true in your own life? There are people who let the most ridiculous things upset them, and there are those souls who soldier on despite burdens that would break most of us. I experienced both examples this weekend while DJing with the love of my life.

At the beginning of our show, on what I would later recall was a full moon, a gentleman asked to sing a song that another gentleman had already signed up for. For several reasons, we do allow this to happen. One, it is not very fun for those in attendance to hear the same song over and over again. Two, it often leads to the argument, “I sang that song better than you!” To eliminate both of those arguments, we just do not allow more than one person to sing the same song. When this gentleman was informed of this, he went into a rage. He yelled. He postured. We attempted to calmly explain why the rules are the way they are. He continued to sit at the bar and yell profanities. Keep in mind this was all because he did not get to sing his first choice of song…in a local bar…in front of people he did not know.

That man was eventually asked to leave. He vowed never to return on the way out the door. It is my believe that was more a relief to those present than anything else. That man let the fact he could not sing one song, out of the millions that exist, ruin not only his night, but negatively impact the night of all of those around him. There was a second man that night. He was quiet and polite. Sang his songs well and was nice to all of those around him. At the end of the night he was able to sing all of the songs that he signed up for. He asked Margie and I to pick a song for him. Being that we did not know the man that well, I just picked another song by an artist he had already sang. He agreed that was a great choice and sat down to happily wait until it was his turn to sing.

When it was his turn to sing, he was even more than happy to have another person who was there that night join him in singing the song. They did not even know each other. Roughly three-quarters of the way through the song, the man suddenly burst into tears and was unable to finish singing. After some consoling and gentle questioning, he revealed his 8-year-old daughter had passed away from cancer and that had triggered a memory of her. This man, who had been so polite and kind to not only Margie and myself, but to everyone that night, had been carrying a burden of pain far greater than anyone could have guessed. Even with that pain he had still found the quiet strength to do his best to bring joy to others through his song and his presence.

I certainly do not make claims to know the entire story of either man. What I do know is that life is far more enjoyable when we save our anger and frustration for things that really matter. The first man could have simply picked another song to sing. At the very least, he could have just decided not to sing without becoming belligerent. The second man displayed a strength of attempting to make it through life after what could be the greatest pain anyone could experience. That is the pain of losing a child. We are all guilty of becoming upset over things that do not really matter as much as we would like to believe. It only takes a situation like the one with the second man to remind us how much greater our struggles could be.

LOOK AROUND YOU… THEN HELP 🫂

Last post we mentioned the quote from Tony Robbins that “What is wrong is always available. So is what is right.” Some of us have a challenge developing a grateful mindset. Doing so is the secret to living an amazing life. One of the easiest ways of doing this is to look around at the lives of those less fortunate. We do not have to look very far. The news is full of tragedy of both a personal and geographical nature. It blows my mind how upset with life some people can be. They lament how unfair life is or how hard they have it. If you can read these words, you have it better than millions of others. You are literate. That means you have the potential to learn just about anything. You have access to the internet. Which again means you can learn just about anything.

Gandhi’s thought above is a really bold statement. The late Greg Plitt, who continues to inspire, said “If you feel unmotivated to change your life, take a walk through the cancer ward at a children’s hospital.” That is an uncomfortable statement. The reason that it is so uncomfortable is that it forces us to realize how much greater our challenges can be. This is not to say whatever you are going through is not tough. Many of you are facing challenges greater than anything I have ever faced. It just reminds us that there are others who are struggling worse than us and could use our support and compassion.

Sticking with the gent from India, this is a great next step. When we see those folks who remind us that our situation could be worse. We should reach out and lend a hand. It is what will not only make their challenge a little less. It will help us gain the knowledge that even in our most challenging of times, we can be of service to others. We not only can be, but we should be. It is in doing so that we often discover our greatest gifts and talents. This can give us the confidence and purpose to make it through our own challenges. It is a win/win situation. It is how the world should be.

GRAB A NEW PERSPECTIVE!

This picture was taken during a nighttime walk with my mother at a local park. We walk here a lot during the day. Despite my best efforts against it, she will often walk alone at night. This evening, I joined her, and it was truly a much different experience than during the day. We were not able to see as far as we normally were. Things we could make out during the day appeared as black silhouettes.

You may think this would make it a lesser experience. Not so. Our senses of hearing were more developed and we noticed sounds we may miss during the day. The photo above is of the local water tower. During the day it is just a water tower, but at night it looked almost mystical. Something we could only appreciate at night.

This walk was a great reminder to get a shift in perspective on what you normally see. It can help you appreciate things you may miss. We walk this park countless times during the day, but the evening made it an entirely different experience. Have you ever had such an experience?

FIND NEW ADVENTURE IN FAMILIAR PLACES

Last post we discussed my love for the Wisconsin State Fair. The most common question I get is how do I not get bored. Lucky for me, I have mastered a key to keeping life exciting. That key is the ability to keep a fresh perspective. When I go to the fair,I go with different people. Some like music, some food, some shopping. That makes each experience unique

The fair also has new things to explore every year. This year was a cool circus. There are new bands to listen to. As I write this I am listening to a band cover Bob Marley’s “Simmer Down”. So there are outside circumstances that are changing.

That being said, one of the keys to an amazing life is your perspective. Looking at things from a different angle makes them fresh and new. This is so key when it comes to keeping your relationship fresh. I look at the relationship I share with Margie in new ways all of the time. It not only keeps it fresh, it prevents me from taking any of the wonders we share for granted. It also shines a light on many wonderful sides of her I might have missed.

How about you? What can you renew by changing your perspective? It will keep your life fun and exciting!

CHANGE PERSPECTIVE 🤔

This is a view from the hotel that I took my lovely Margie for her birthday 🎂 Stepping back and looking at the city from this angle certainly changes how you view things. In the thick of things with the pollution, hustle and bustle you can miss some of the beauty of the architecture, the lights, and the cityscape itself.

The same can be said for life. In the middle of our work-a-day world, focused on working and paying bills, we miss a lot of the beauty of our lives. It’s not our fault. Life gets so busy it seems to fly by in a blur. We need to “push pause” and appreciate the beauty of our lives.

If life is so busy, how can we manage to do this? Who has time to step back and just appreciate life? Lately, Margie and I have been crazy. I’ve been working about 50 hours a week at my day job, plus working on my fourth book and of course bringing you this daily inspiration. Margie was finishing school, under the weather and still making delicious desserts to brighten people’s lives. We, like many other busy couples, fall into the habit of being too busy for each other.

I’m sure you have felt it. You both are working hard and feeling tired. Suddenly, you find yourself being irritated with the person you share a living space with. Everything you have going on and they want to spend quality time together? You may even snap at each other or speak in a less than loving tone. Not because you are necessarily upset with them but because there is too much life on your plate.

When this happens, that’s when you need to pull the emergency brake. Trust me, if you don’t notice it is happening, your partner may gently remind you it is. Here are some secrets to getting a new perspective. First, apologize. Explain that you lost focus. This is not a bad thing, but will let your partner know that life, not them, is what has your nerves frayed. Second, take a step back – literally. When you take a physical action, it can change your emotional state. There is a whole chapter about this in my second book, Living the Dream. Wherever you are, take one step back. Take a deep breath and slowly let it out while your at it.

Next, change what you focus on. Last night Margie made us quesadillas for dinner. I took a step back and watched her flipping them on the griddle. All i could think was “How is such a beautiful and funny woman also such a great cook?” That got me thinking how grateful I was that we were together. How she can always make me laugh,or at least raise one eyebrow.

In your life, take a step back regularly. The more you do it the more you will see a great deal of the beauty you may have missed while you were busy living life.

Road construction

Sometimes your life improving can be as simple as changing your perspective. This was brought home by something very common, yet very frustrating – road construction. In Wisconsin, where I live, there seems to be two seasons, winter and road construction. By the time the ice and snow on the roads disappear, they are replaced by orange barrels. This can lead to many unpleasant surprises. This can range from the simply frustrating longer commute times, to the more expensive flat tires and repair to your cars suspension system.

This had been taken a step further this year in my very own neighborhood. I live on the east side of our fine city. Most of what I enjoy doing is in the west part of the city. Normally, not too much of an issue. The drive is roughly 10 to 15 minutes for most places. That is until recently. They closed two of the main streets that connect where I live to the west part of the city. Just the other day, I went to pick up some flyers I had made up for my upcoming book signing. This should have been a 10 minute trip. It ended up being a 20 minute trip. With the current price of gasoline, this was a bit irritating. What I did learn was an entirely new way to get to where I was going. It also showed me a few different businesses I had either forgotten about, or never knew about. It was taking this detour that introduced me to them.

Another good thing about this detour caused by road construction, it caused me to use my brain. Often, we can get in a rut. How many of you take the same route to work every day? You drive on autopilot almost. When one street is closed, it can throw us for a loop. Much like no longer having to remember phone numbers because they are all stored in our phones, our brains tend to get a little lazy. What were to happen if we were in an emergency situation and we had lost our cell phone? Would we still be able to contact our work or our loved ones? By having to consciously come up with a new route to travel, and having to be alert on that route, my brain was getting a little bit of a workout. What happens if we never make our bodies workout? Do you not the same result could happen to a mind that no longer has to work?

Viewing the inconvenience of the road closer in this light, I found I had a lot to be grateful for. The new path caused me to be more alert and forced my brain to put in a little more effort. With cerebral decline becoming an issue the older we get, it is wise to take advantage of any brain workout we can fit in. The detour also introduced me to a host of new businesses and some that I forgot about. It allowed me to see a different part of my city I may have never had the reason to explore. These reasons turned the curse of road construction into a blessing. Next time orange barrels block or slow your progress, think of what benefits you may get out of the situation.

TAKE MONDAY OFF!

Here is a post we can all get behind! As I write this, I’m on vacation listening to a steel drum band. The funny thing is, I used to have every Monday off. It was my designated off day. Back then, I loved Mondays. Looked forward to them even!

This got me thinking, how taking off an occasional Monday could change our perception of them. How would your view of Monday change if it involved sleeping in, spending some time at your favorite coffee shop… or maybe listening to a steel drum band? I say do it! Treat yourself. Take a Monday off and plan something fun!

HOW DO YOU SEE THE WORLD?🌏

Which one are you?

Look at the picture above. You can see the difference in perspective. Both men find themselves locked up in prison. One can see only the bars and what is holding him prisoner. The other focuses on the beauty right outside their cell.

Most pessimists, or even realist, as they sometimes prefer to call themselves will point out this does not change the fact that both men are still in jail. That is true. Let us take a look at what both men are experiencing.

First the man painting the bars. He undoubtedly is focused on what is holding him back. This will have him feeling oppressed and depressed. He is venting this thoughts by creating a painting and visual reminder of the same. This will further expand his feelings and make his sentence and more arduous one.

Next, the man who painted the nature scene. He is focused on the beauty he can see even if it is not directly in his environment. Although stuck in a cell he is thinking of the birds, the trees and the sunshine. He is creating a work of art that can help take him there mentally.

Even if they stay in jail for the same amount of time, whose prison sentence do you think we be worse? It is the same with us and life. Are you focused on what is holding you back? Are you constantly talking or posting on social media about it? How does that make you feel? Maybe you are like the second fellow and focused on the beauty of life even if it is just outside your current reality. Thinking about that tropical vacation or cool new sports car, even though they are not yours yet. How does that make you feel?

The difference in the quality of our lives is more greatly determined by our internal feelings than our external situations. Focus on where true change comes from.

CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE, CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Here at Secret2anamazinglife, we always look for simple methods that will have a great positive impact on our lives. One of these easy things to do is to change your perspective. There is so many things in our life that we do almost unconsciously. We drive the same way to work everyday. We tend to frequent the same restaurants. We even tend to see the same people for the same events. We go out to dinner with these people, we go to the ball game with this group of people. Don’t get me wrong, if it works that is a great thing. Sometimes, even when it comes to things that seem to work just fine, it is worth exploring other options. Can you imagine if at the turn of the century people said “These horses seem to be working just fine. Why would we want this automobile thing?”

Another great reason to explore different options is that often our hands are forced. A personal example for me is that I always tend to drive the same way while working at my day job. Recently, they closed the main road I used. I wasn’t sure what roads went through and which provided the smoothest streets, least traffic and best scenery. Why? Because I always drove the same way. The first day I spent a few minutes extra detouring and trying to figure out where I was going. This could have all been avoided had I bothered to try a new route every once in a while. The same is true about people. If you always go to the games with Fred and then Fred moves, then what? There is another important reason to switch this up we will get to next. How about going out to eat? Sure, you always go there for Italian, but what if that business closes or just has a day off? It is good to have options. When you need pizza, you often need pizza!

Another reason to switch things up? It can change the entire experience. One of my favorite places to go is our zoo here in Milwaukee. I have been to many different zoos, and I feel it is one of the best I have been to. The zoo is usually open from 8am to 5pm currently. On this day, they switched it up and had night time hours. Margie and I went and we were able to see things that we normally didn’t see. The animals that were usually active were a little more relaxed and those that were usually sleeping were up and about. We even saw some behaviors not often exhibited during the day. Take the elk going for a swim in the first picture or this bear which not only stood on top of its platform, but ended up climbing the tree. Same zoo that I have been to thousands of times, but I was able to see it in an entirely different light. Do you tend to order the same thing when you go to a certain restaurant? Maybe you are missing out on a dish that you would love even more? What if you went out to the ball game with your friend you usually go out for coffee with? I bet it would be an entirely different experience. Would you agree that the people we do something with often have a greater impact on us than the event we are doing with them? There are people who could almost make going to the dentist fun and then I know people that could even ruin a pizza for me.

Today’s lesson – add a little twist to your life. Change up the route you drive to work. If where you live is anything like where I do, one of the roads is bound to be under construction soon and it would make your life less stressful to have a workable back up plan. Change where you eat, what you eat and who you eat it with. It could open up new worlds for you! Experiencing things in a new way can open up worlds of knowledge and often change the way we look at the world entirely. Even a little shift can be healthy to dust of the cobwebs in our brains. I would love to hear about what things you do to gain different perspectives.